7
CELINE
"Two cheese and ham paninis."
The man behind the counter taps Gabriella's order into the register.
"And these." She holds up two sodas, which he adds to the bill. "I'll get this." Gabriella turns to me with a smile. "You can get the next ones."
Alternating paying just makes things easier, and it's Gab's turn, so I'm fine with it. "Okay. Thanks."
A table by the window is vacated by a couple who were in the middle of a whispered argument when we arrived. I dash across the coffee shop to reserve it, leaving Gabriella to wait for our order.
Through the window, I watch streams of people moving between classes. I think I spot Elias's dark hair, but he disappears into a building across from my current vantage point.
I pull out my phone, open my Instagram account, and search through my notifications. There are a few likes on my most recent posts; the kissing shots with Travis. I can't look at those photos because there is too much passion there that I now know wasn't real. He didn't want me.
Gabriella carefully carries a tray of our food and drinks across the coffee shop, narrowly missing one of Eddie's friends, who stands and shoves his chair directly in her path. "Watch it," she yells, much to his amusement.
"I swear, the guys around here just become bigger jerks by the day."
"You're just spoiled by all your mature boyfriends."
She nods and unwraps her sandwich, focusing on the filling spilling from the end as she takes her first bite. "Mmmm…" Chewing with wide eyes, she watches as I do the same. "It's so good."
I nod in agreement as the hunger that built through my last lecture finally subsides into satisfaction.
"So, we can sit here and talk sandwiches all day, or you can tell me why my brother was sucking your face last night." She raises her eyebrows and stares pertinently at my phone.
"He's helping me with something…I mean, he helped me with something."
"By sticking his tongue down your throat? Travis is a regular good Samaritan."
"You and Ellie told me the best way to get over a bad relationship was with some rebound sex."
Gab's mouth drops open. "That was Ellie, and you had sex with my brother?"
A girl at the table next to us turns and gawps, and I stare at her for long enough to shame her into minding her own business.
"No. No sex. We made out in public so Eddie would know I'm moving on."
"Oh…so Travis is your rebound date."
"Revenge date." I correct her, and she blinks in surprise.
"And Elias and Dornan?"
"Revenge dates." I crack open my soda and take a long drink of the sweet, fizzy liquid.
"Revenge sex?"
My cheeks heat before I can reply, and the grin that splits Gabriella's face is enough to tell me it's pointless to deny it. "Revenge sex is hot."
"Jeez, Celine. I mean, Elias, I understand. You've been there already. A repeat of a one-night stand is easy. But Dornan. He's a friend. Wasn't it weird?"
"Strangely no," I admit. "It was…"
She holds her hands out before I can finish. "I'm not sure I want to know. If you tell me something that makes it hard for me to look at him, he'll know we've been discussing his sexual prowess."
I shrug, twisting off a piece of bread and popping it into my mouth. "I can keep it all to myself." I probably should have from the start.
Gab glances at the ceiling like she's searching for celestial intervention. When she's inhaled and exhaled a deep breath, she fixes me with her angelic blue eyes. "It's weird as fuck, but you have to tell me everything."
"We went on a date to Blue Bar, then he showed me a good time."
Gabriella shakes her head. "Do you seriously think you'll get away with giving me that limited summary?"
I tip my head to the side and purse my lips to stop the smile that's threatening. "It was so good. And not weird at all until it was over. Then, there was this moment when I thought he was going to tell me he wants more."
"He didn't?"
I shake my head. "He knows the score. He knows we're just messing around playing games to show Eddie how easily I'm getting over his ass."
Gab's mouth tightens, and she looks around at the other occupied tables surrounding us. Leaning in closer, she lowers her voice. "I heard Eddie's dating already."
My heart makes a weird squeezing pulse in my chest. "The one he cheated on me with?"
"Abbey Swanson."
"Abbey?" What the fuck? He didn't cheat on me with her, or maybe he did. Maybe he was dicking three of us around at the same time.
"Yeah. I overheard one of his jock buddies commiserating over the fact that Abbey's now off the market. Apparently, Eddie's taking her to that fancy new restaurant, Eclet, the day after tomorrow."
"Nice." My face feels hot, and the back of my neck is cold.
So much for showing Eddie. He's already replaced me with someone most guys at this university would regard as a ten.
I lower what's left of my sandwich to the plate, my hunger replaced by a wave of nausea.
"Hey." Gab places her hand on my arm. "Eddie's the king of the douches, Celine. A fleck of dick cheese. Just forget about him. Focus on the good things in your life."
That's easy for her to say. She's got three men who love her. What have I got? Two men who can fuck like gods, and one who told me I was trying to bandage my wounds with sex. I've got some sexy photos on Instagram and some hot memories. None of it keeps me warm at night or makes this terrible sinking feeling disappear.
But I know what will. Turning up at Eclet with three of the sexiest men in this town and showing Eddie that I've beat him three times over.
Elias will come, and Dornan. Travis's parting words were that he's there for me if I need him. Well, I need him now.
"You're plotting something." Gab narrows her kohl-rimmed eyes at me, tucking her hair behind her ear and leaning closer. "Tell me."
"What do you think about me turning up at Eclet with Elias, Dornan, and Travis?"
"I think it's unnecessary."
Leaning back in my chair, I focus on my plate. "It feels necessary to me."
"Well, then you should do it…if they agree." When I meet her gaze, it's filled with concern. "I'm just worried about you, sweetie. You're not acting like yourself. Half the time you were with Eddie, you were moaning about him and trying to find ways to escape the relationship."
"Exactly. But that's what I wanted when it was on my terms. None of what's happened has been on my terms."
"So, you don't want him back?"
I screw up my nose in disgust. "No. Ewww."
"You just want to prove that you're unaffected by what he's done?"
"Moving on to bigger and better things."
"And do you have feelings for Elias or Dornan…or Travis?" It's her turn to wrinkle her nose at her brother's name.
I think about how it felt to be in Elias's and Dornan's arms and the soft way Travis spoke to me about not wanting to hurt me. None of it could be labeled as feelings, but I'm not dead inside. They're gorgeous men who are caring enough to bother wanting to help me out. I enjoyed my time with them, even when Travis was trying to do what he thought was the right thing. He challenged me, and I like that.
"It's all just a big game."
Gabriella seems reassured, and she doesn't press me any further. Instead, she tells me about Dalton's catering successes and Blake's new tattoo. Kain doesn't go unmentioned, either. He's almost entirely recovered from the incident that nearly took his life and back to giving her non-stop orgasms. Seeing her so happy leaves me with mixed feelings. She's my friend, and I couldn't be more ecstatic that she's found ‘the ones’. But my envy is sharp and only adds to my hurt.
I don't finish my sandwich before we both have to leave for our next lecture.
When I'm done for the day, I grab a box of donuts and a carton of milk from the store and head back to my dorm. It's not exactly a nutritious dinner, but I'm in the mood for a sugary overload. When life is sour, only sweet will do.
As I eat a chocolate-glazed donut, I start to type out a request to Dornan. He's the most likely to agree to my crazy plan on the basis that we're friends above everything else. Then, I pause and stop chewing while I consider a different approach. If I send each of them an individual message, they won't see that I've asked the others. If I set up a group, maybe that'll make each of them more likely to want to say yes. A little peer pressure driven by a smidge of jealousy. The friction between Elias and Dornan has built up over years. Regardless of whether they're possessive over me, the competitive spirit lingers. I don't get the feeling that Travis is competitive about women. He seems relaxed about life in general. But at least this way, I'm being transparent.
I call the group Fake Dates and invite them all. Then, I type out my message.
Emergency! Eddie is taking a new girlfriend out to a restaurant tomorrow. Please, can you guys take me there….all three of you for maximum impact? I'll owe you for life!
When I send it, the piece of donut I've been chewing gets caught in my throat, and I have to glug down half a glass of milk to stop myself from choking. The message is delivered, and Dornan is the first to start typing a response. But then he stops. Elias looks like he's typing something out too, but then he stops. Travis doesn't type at all.
I wait and wait, wondering if anyone will answer either way. They agreed to help me with this fake dating game, but now it seems like they're backing out. I rest my phone face down on my desk and press my hands to my face.
An image of Eddie and Abbey sharing food and making a toast with glasses of bubbling champagne floods my mind, making me want to scream. His smug face grins at me from my own imagination, and a bubble of fury swells up inside me, so visceral that I slam my hand down on my desk. My pen pot overturns, and the remaining donuts jump on the plate. The bones in my hand vibrate and then ache from the impact, and I'm immediately regretful. Using my good hand to rub my hurting palm, I grumble. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Why can't I just do what Travis and Gab suggested and forget this whole thing? Why does Eddie's infidelity grate at my skin and crush my soul? I want to be able to put this all behind me, but even considering it makes Eddie the winner in my mind. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I think about my dad and how easily he left and let the contact between us reduce to almost nothing. Eddie didn't even think about cheating because he didn't think I was worth worrying about losing.
I twist my hands together in my lap, hating the slick, dark pulse of rejection that fills me.
Maybe this final date will be enough? I can put all these ideas of revenge games behind me and move on.
The trouble is that I can't imagine what my future looks like.
My family is shattered.
My mom is resentful, and my dad is absent.
My friends are all partnered up and living their best lives.
My sister is blissfully married with a gorgeous baby.
And I'm just stuck. An outsider. Rejected.
My phone vibrates, and I grab it and check my messages. It's Dornan. He says he'll do it. One down, two to go. Now, I just have to wait to see whether Elias and Travis will step up to the plate.