21
CELINE
After the gym, I go back to Gabriella's house, expecting to see Travis. There is so much I want to say to him that I couldn't with an audience. I want to hear what's in his heart and help him find a way through this terrible situation. But when we return, Gabriella's mom is crying on the phone, and she tells us through sobs that Travis has gone out. Gab calls Dalton, but he hasn't heard from Travis. It's the same with Kain and Blake. They're all so worried when they listen to what's happening, but worry isn't going to find Travis or solve his problems.
"Where do you think he's gone?" Gab shakes her head and shrugs, which is zero help. I want to scream and find that woman so I can scratch out her eyes. Who the fuck does she think she is, threatening Travis that way? She needs to be taken down a peg or fifteen.
Shit.
The prospect of Travis leaving tomorrow to return to Germany hurts my heart so severely that I have to press my hand to my chest to contain the ache.
Gab drives me back to my dorm, and I shower and try to catch up on an assignment that's due, but I can't concentrate. For the first time since Travis, Elias, and Dornan agreed to play my stupid revenge games, I feel alone.
I didn't realize how much having them all in my life meant to me.
I didn't realize that letting any of them go would hurt worse than finding out Eddie had made a fool of me.
I send Dornan and Elias a quick message, asking them if they're free. Both reply to say they have practice but can meet me after. I don't tell them about Travis. I'll wait to do that in person. Instead, I agree to meet them near the locker room. Time moves so slowly, I want to scream.
Dressed in a black sweater, black leggings, and black chunky boots, I stride out into the afternoon. The wind whips my hair, but I don't bother trying to smooth it. Nothing superficial matters. I already feel as though I'm in mourning for what Travis and I have started to mean to each other and all the days, weeks, and months that we could have shared. I'm in mourning for the man Travis was becoming and desolate to see him return to the closed-off person he was when he returned from Germany. It's like witnessing a butterfly fold its wings and curl back up inside its chrysalis.
Elias is the first to leave the locker room, with Dornan close behind. Their smiles are wide and welcoming, but they must see my dark expression.
"What is it?" Elias stops in front of me and drops his bag to the floor. I collapse into his embrace, sobbing as all the pent-up worry overspills the moment that I'm close to him.
"Travis is leaving."
"What?" Dornan's voice is a confused boom, and he tips my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Why?"
"His ex-girlfriend says she's pregnant with his child. She told him he has to go back to Germany now, or he'll never get to see his kid."
Elias stiffens against me. "What the fuck?"
"She's horrible. A terrible, toxic person. And he's considering it. He's really considering it."
"Does he believe it's his kid?" Dornan tucks loose strands of my mussed hair behind my ear. He stoops to hear my raspy reply.
"He doesn't know. He says he always used condoms, but they're not one hundred percent reliable. She cheated on him, but she says the other guy had a vasectomy and used condoms, so there's almost no chance it's his."
"That sounds shady as fuck."
I release Elias and do my best to wipe my eyes without smudging my makeup. I feel like a mess of frayed emotions. Everything I want is slipping through my fingers like sand. "It does, but Travis's mom told him he needs to go, just in case it is his baby. She thinks he'll struggle to get access to see the child if he doesn't."
Dornan cups the back of his neck with his big hand and stretches back. "She might be right, but this is fucked up. He's just got himself settled here."
"I know. And she's such a bad person. She gave me the creeps."
Elias shakes his head, and by his sides, his hands flex into fists. There's no fight here. Not a real one, anyway, but he's ready for one on Travis's behalf.
"He shouldn't go. This sounds like the desperate grasp of a toxic woman."
"He can't risk it." Dornan sounds genuinely pained. "His mom's right. When it comes to kids, everything else goes out the window. If she's as bad as you say, he can't risk his child being left in the sole custody of a malicious woman like that."
"I don't want to lose him," I admit in the smallest, weakest, most pathetic voice.
This time, Dornan embraces me, and I sob against his warm, fresh-smelling shirt.
A rumble of laughter spills from the locker room behind us, and Eddie's voice rings out. "There she is. College girl enjoys getting fucked by the team."
I pull back from Dornan, but I don't want to look in Eddie's direction. He's the kind of pathetic loser who'd assume I was still upset over him, and I'm not about to reveal anything about Travis to make him understand it isn't true.
"Shut the fuck up, Eddie." The menace in Elias's voice should chill the heart of any man, but Eddie isn't a normal person. It's suddenly clear to me just how much he reminds me of Lina. They have the same air of superiority and the same expectation of control. They even have the same kind of self-satisfied smirk that makes the hair rise over my scalp like some kind of primitive danger warning signal.
"What? Am I not speaking the truth?" A couple of his friends laugh but hang back so that if Elias and Dornan lose their shit, then they're not the ones in the firing line.
Elias takes a threatening step forward so abruptly that Eddie jerks back in response. When he realizes that he's made himself look like a frightened coward, he puffs out his chest. "I told you she's not worth it. You'll see just how worthless she is."
It's a weird threat like he's anticipating something happening in the future. Dornan takes two steps forward with the same speed as Elias, and Eddie backs off again. This time, he walks away, trying to find some swagger.
"Ignore everything that fuckwad said." Elias stares after him with menace darkening his already shadowed eyes.
"Everything," Dornan reiterates.
In my pocket, my phone begins to ring and vibrate. I pull it out, finding Ellie's name flashing across my screen. When I answer, she says my name in a panicked voice. "Celine. Have you seen it?"
"Seen what?"
"The video?"
My heart thuds within the cage of my chest as Eddie's threat echoes. 'You'll see how worthless she is.'
"What video?" I pace away from Elias and Dornan, unable to meet their eyes.
"Someone sent me a link—I'm not going to say who because I don't want to compromise them—but there is a video of you on a free porn site."
"A what?"
"A video of you having sex."
"Me?" I don't understand how a video of me having sex could be anywhere. I've never let anyone video me or take photos of me. I'm not an idiot. As soon as a digital image or video is created, there is a risk that it will find its way into the public domain.
"Yes. You. It's definitely you."
"You watched it?" The idea that one of my besties has seen a video of me having sex feels like a huge violation.
"I had to, sweetie. I wasn't going to call and freak you out on another person's say-so."
"And it's me?"
"It's you. I'm sending you the link now. It's under the title ‘College girl enjoys getting fucked by the team.’"
Eddie's words pound in my mind like a bass drum of doom. My phone pings with a message, and I click the link. The volume on my phone is set to loud, so when the video comes up, the sounds of moaning and slapping flesh are loud enough to draw the attention of a few passersby as well as Elias and Dornan.
I slap my hand over my mouth when I see what is clearly me being fucked from behind. I'm naked, so my breasts are visible. My face is slack, and my mouth is open. The man pounding into me from behind isn't visible above his navel. It's like whoever set the camera to video purposefully excluded themselves from the shot. Dornan snatches the phone out of my hand and deals with the volume. He shares the phone with Elias, and I turn away, so fucking mortified at what they're seeing.
"Your hair was red," Elias says. "It has to be Eddie who posted the video."
"You fucked me when my hair was red," I remind him, although I'm not sure why. It has to be Eddie, doesn't it? Or could it have been someone else, and he saw it and wanted to gloat? Suddenly, all my previous sexual partners become potential perpetrators.
"I didn't fuck you like that. This dude has no fucking style, pounding away like a jackhammer." He shakes his head in disgust. "Look at the background, Celine. Look at everything you can see. Your face…anything that might tell you when it was."
"I feel sick." It hits me with such violence that I stagger and vomit next to a trash can. It splashes onto my boots, and I have to grasp onto the can to stabilize myself.
"Fuck." Dornan grabs me around the middle as I heave again. "We should get her home." He must address that part to Elias.
"I'm going to go and find that cocksucker and skin his dick."
"Not right now, you're not. If Eddie's pencil dick is getting skinned, I want to be there. We need to look after our girl."
Even bent over and in distress, the words 'our girl' slide over me like the softness of a feather. Wiping my mouth on the back of my hand, I straighten my spine and exhale. "We need to find Travis," I remind them. "It can't wait."
Dornan and Elias exchange another look, reminding me of Colby, Seb, and Micky, who always seem to have a triplet sense that enables them to communicate with only their facial expressions. Dornan and Elias aren't related, though. Up until recently, I didn't even think they liked each other. Now, they seem to be working as a team. "You take her home," Elias confirms. "I'll go looking for Travis."
"I want to come," I say, but Elias shakes his head. "Go home and deal with the video. I'll call you as soon as I know anything."