22
ELIAS
Celine wants me to find Travis, but every fiber of my being wants to hunt down Eddie and tear his intestine through his asshole. It’s him in that video. I’d stake the last hundred bucks I have in my bank account on it. He didn’t like the revenge games Celine played and lashed out. He couldn’t stand to see her with three decent men who want to treat her like the queen she is.
He had to find a way to shame her, even though he was the guilty party that caused the end of their relationship.
Men like that make me sick. Weak, vicious men who can’t take it when their woman moves on. Petty fucking jerkoffs.
But Celine’s right. Travis has to come first. He’s someone who deserves my attention. A man caught in the kind of tight spot I would never want to be in. A decent man who’s contemplating leaving his life behind on the off chance his cheating-bitch-ex-girlfriend might be carrying his child.
I jump into my car and make my way to Travis’s mom’s house. The traffic is terrible, and with each passing minute, my head pounds with more tension. I’m famished from training hard and in desperate need of a protein-rich meal, or my muscles will scream at me for neglecting them.
As I pull up outside the house, the scent of home cooking wafts through my window, making my stomach growl in reply. Someone’s cooking up something good. If the last meal I had at Travis’s is anything to go by, it’s probably his mom.
It feels weird to approach Travis’s front door. We’re not friends in the true sense, just men who have come together because of a shared appreciation of a woman. But over the past couple of weeks, he’s proved himself to be a good man, and that’s rare as fuck.
I knock on the door, glancing down at my beat-up sneakers and ratty faded black joggers. I’m not exactly dressed for visiting. A woman with short blonde hair, and stunning blue eyes opens the door and stares at me curiously. She looks so much like Gabriella; it’s uncanny.
"Hi, I’m Elias. I’m here to see Travis. Is he here?"
"He is." She sounds wary, and I get it. He’s gone through a lot today, and she doesn’t know me from Adam. "Travis." She yells his name and ushers me inside.
Travis appears at the top of the stairs, looking bleak. "Hey, man."
I tip my head in greeting. "You got a minute?"
He nods and waves me up. I take off my shoes, remembering my manners even though I wasn’t raised with many. My sock has a hole in the toe, which Travis’s mom spots with her eagle eyes. She doesn’t say anything, but I feel her pity or maybe her question. Why is his mom not taking care of him?
This is why I don’t hang out with other people’s families.
The hallway is lined with pictures of Gabriella, Travis, and their mom over the years. I avoid looking at them in too much detail, not wanting to see the happy smiles because it’s a reminder of how few photos I have of my childhood, and even fewer when I’m cracking anything other than a grimace.
Travis is standing in the hallway at the top of the stairs, his shoulders curled forward, and his head held lower than usual. He shuffles into his room and slumps onto his big bed, resting back against the dark wood headboard. There’s a chair in the corner that I sit on because standing would make this whole thing feel pressured.
"What’s going on, Travis?" I eye the open suitcase next to him on the bed. His attention drifts there, too.
"I have to go," he says.
"Celine said that’s what you thought."
"If I don’t go and it’s my kid…" He trails off and shudders.
"Is she that crazy? "
He nods, and I crack my knuckles, first on one hand and then the other. I grew up with crazy, except it was my dad. My mom’s a little on the edge, too, mostly because of my father’s behavior.
"What are the chances it’s yours?"
His eyelids lower and stay closed for a few seconds before he opens them. Frustrated, he scores lines into his hair with his fingers. "We fucked for three months. I used condoms the whole time. "
"Any breaks or tears? "
He shakes his head.
"Did you leave the condoms in the bathroom at her place?"
Travis blinks fast. "No. I always wrap and flush. My mom taught me that when I was a teen."
"Clever mom."
He nods.
"So, next to no chance."
"There’s always a chance."
I blow out a tense breath, knowing that he speaks the truth. No sex comes without risk. It’s why dudes need to choose their partners carefully, even if they’re only intending to share one night. My own actions with Celine were risky, but I don’t regret a thing.
I wish I had words that would help Travis. He’s stuck in a situation where there’s no winning. A situation I’d never want to find myself in.
"When can you get a paternity test?"
"She says only after it’s born because of the risk to the pregnancy."
"So you’ll know when?"
"Five months."
"Jesus. That’s a long time to wait around in a foreign country. Do you even have money? And what about a visa?"
"Money is tight. I just put a big deposit on the apartment, and I have to find the rent for that while I’m away. Visa is still in force."
"So, where are you going to stay?"
"She says I can stay with her."
"Holy fuck. You’re not going to move in with her?"
"What choice do I have?"
He’s right. The dude is out of options. He’s going to leave his life behind, his family and friends, and everything that he’s been working to establish since his return, all for a one percent chance there might be a baby that’s his in five months. It’s fucked up. "Listen, whatever happens, we’re on your side, okay?" I run my hand through my hair and focus on the point where the wall meets the ceiling. Fuck. I’m not good at this kind of thing. Not good at all.
Focusing back on Travis, I want to say something that will help. He needs it. "I know this situation between us all hasn’t exactly been normal, but we’re buddies now, right?" The label sounds stupid but I don’t know how else to describe it.
He nods, a twitch of a smile pulling just one side of his previously grim mouth. "Buddies."
"So, call us. Especially Celine. She’s really sad about this. She’s going to miss you."
He nods, but the way his eyes widen makes me realize he didn’t know.
"I’ll call when I can."
"Okay, buddy."
We both laugh uncomfortably as I stand.
I decide not to tell Travis about the video because he has enough on his plate. If he finds out, maybe he’ll feel like he should stay. He’ll feel torn, and the guy doesn’t need that. Me and Dornan are more than capable of handling shit with Eddie and supporting Celine through it all. It’s what we’ve been doing from the start.
I shift on my feet and drift to the door, but Travis says my name. "Elias. Take these." He holds out a set of keys. "Someone might as well get some use from the place."
I nod solemnly, as though he’s trusted me with his castle rather than a half-empty apartment he never even got the chance to move into.
Maybe we can set the place up for his return. Make it feel lived in. I believe he’s coming back. The alternative just wouldn’t be fair, and Travis deserves a good life.
"I’ll see you in five months." I reach out to shake his hand. We both grip firmly, and he clasps his free hand over mine.
"Maybe."
When I get to the bottom of the stairs, Travis’s mom comes breezing out. "Dinner’s ready. Will you stay, Elias?"
"I shouldn’t," I say, even though I’m so hungry, it feels like I’m digesting my own stomach. Right on time, my belly growls like an angry bear in an echoey cave.
She looks down at my sock again. "You absolutely should."
Bustling away, she leaves no room for me to object. Travis laughs softly, as though this is the usual situation in his house. He claps me on the shoulder, and I follow him into the kitchen, my eyes bugging out at the table that is overflowing with food. It’s like a medieval banquet. "You eat like this every day?"
"Sure."
The guy is so blasé. He has no idea how lucky he is to have the normal things every child should grow up with. Travis indicates where I should sit, and he takes the place opposite. His mom gestures for us to serve ourselves, so I start by spooning small portions onto my plate. She tuts and takes over, doubling the portion of everything. "You’re big," she says. "You need to eat."
"Mom!" Travis shakes his head. "You can’t go around telling people they’re big."
"Why not?" She looks between us, bemused. "Big is good for a man."
I accept the plate, trying to keep my smile suppressed while inside my chest feels hollow. Travis has a great life here. He has so much good that he’s going to leave behind.
"And you eat." She nods at her son. "I’ve made extra for you to take with you."
"I can’t take food through the airport."
She sighs and slumps into a chair before serving herself. Her weariness at the situation scores lines into her forehead. "Elias, you’ll take some with you?"
It’s my instinct to say no, but her need to take care of Travis through me is evident. "Sure. That would be awesome."
We eat, and everything is delicious. Darleen offers me seconds and then tries with thirds, but I’m almost fit to burst. Conversation is light, and rather than feeling like a spare part, I can tell they’re grateful to have me with them to distract them from what’s coming. Halfway through our meal, Gabriella arrives with Kain, Dalton, and Blake. She’s obviously updated them on the situation, and all the men’s expressions are concerned. "Trav, man. You’re seriously going?" Dalton rests his hand on his friend’s shoulder.
"I have to."
"Sit and eat," Darleen says, shoving a plate towards Blake. He accepts it gratefully.
"Dad is coming over in a minute. He’s just washing up."
It’s a hastily organized goodbye meal for a man who doesn’t want to say goodbye.
When I’ve finished what’s left on my plate, I make my excuses to leave, not wanting to invade their privacy any further. I’m handed three large containers filled with food by Darleen, who has glassy eyes. Saying bye feels like a line drawn through an experience I wasn’t looking for and would never have thought I wanted.
At the door, I’m at a loss for what to say, so instead, I slap Travis’s shoulder with my big hand and tell him not to forget us.
As I drive away, I can’t shake the feeling that this is the first step to everything good in my life falling apart.