Chapter 10
Hudson
Well, shit. I see the moment she registers which time I’m referring to. Might as well address the elephant on the beach.
“Just stuck my foot in my mouth and choked on it, didn’t I? And here I thought I was being smart by not blurting out a line as cliché as I‘d recognize you anywhere.”
She looks away from me again, her cheeks turning a rosy pink despite her tan. “I’m pretty sure I’m the one that should be embarrassed.” She huffs a small laugh, dropping her head into her hands.
Taking advantage of the ability to touch her, I cradle Serafina with one hand and lean forward to pull Shannon’s hands away from her face.
As soon as my skin makes contact with hers, I know I’m done for.
“Trust me when I say you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.” In fact, with that ass, you should roam around naked all day.
In the sun…on a beach…or laying spread out on…
“I was, um,” her voice carries me back to the present, “trying to spice things up,” she explains before her brows crease and she looks like she’s confused about why she just said that.
The fact that she even has to try to get her husband to notice her pisses me right the hell off because I can’t get her out of my damn head.
“Your husband’s a blind fucking moron if he’s not devouring you like the last supper every goddamn night.
” The anger in my voice makes me check myself.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I offer an apology.
“I’m sorry. It’s not my place to comment on that.
” Especially while the man’s child is asleep on my chest and his wife is sitting beside me in her bikini.
Shannon pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them.
“It may make me a terrible person, but it helps knowing you think that,” she admits. “Like maybe the problem isn’t me.” She wrinkles her nose. “That’s awful, isn’t it?”
Having ripped the Band-Aid off already, and desperate to touch her again, I place my fingers under her chin and turn her face toward me once more.
“No. What’s awful is that he’s made you so lonely you’re out here with me instead of wrapped in his arms. Not that I’m complaining,” I add hastily.
“Greg works hard to provide for us. I know that. I have a life most women would kill for.”
“But is it a life you would kill for? Is it the life you want?” I ask, no mercy in my tone.
“I love my husband. And I love my daughter,” she says, growing defensive.
“That’s not what I asked,” I reply in a whisper, my eyes not leaving hers.
I need to slow the hell down. The energy flowing between us is addicting, but just like drugs that cause you to make stupid decisions, it’s inching us closer to making those same bad decisions as well.
I need to give this woman’s child back to her and get my ass out of this chair. I need to go home, jack off in a cold shower, and try to switch routes at work.
The thought leaves me nauseated. I can’t fathom putting someone else on her route.
How will I know if she’s okay? Not to mention the bigger issue, which is that Monica just told me that because of the notoriety of the case she’s on, she can expect longer hours.
So, for the foreseeable future, I’m the only person that can get Cam and Ally from daycare before they close.
Fuck, I’m in too deep and I don’t even know how I got here so fucking fast.
“It’s a life I should be grateful for,” she finally says in a small voice.
“Not if it leaves you empty and chasing desire elsewhere.”
Her lips part on a gasp at my words and she stands, like she’s starting to feel caged. I stay seated, calmly cradling her sleeping daughter. I don’t feel the need to beat around the bush.
Although we shouldn’t, it’s clear we both feel something.
I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her body or the anguish in her eyes since I saw her sitting in the sand.
And the way she’s looking at me now tells me if we were two strangers who just met and had no baggage, she’d agree to come back to my place before I could even ask the question.
Her eyes roam over my shoulders and pecs for the hundredth time. I can easily tell when they trail lower over my abs, and fuck if it doesn’t make me harder when her breathing hitches as they land on my lap.
It feels strange to be getting a hard-on for her with her daughter’s tiny fingernails digging into my chest, but my dick gives zero fucks about the infant clinging to me. Guess I was wrong when I thought kids were an instant boner-killer.
Based on this conversation though, Shannon’s dealing with enough. I should be the stronger one. I should walk away. I’ve said too much as it is.
I stand and begin to peel the sweet child off of me and hand her to her mother, finally finding some fucking decency and a moral or two.
“I should go.”
Serafina starts to fuss and Shannon reaches for her before looking around at all the toys spread out. The mess to clean up is daunting.
“I’ll help you pack up before I take off,” I tell her.
“You really don’t have to do that. I always do it alone.” She sounds so broken when she says it this time, like she’s disappointed that I’m leaving. I have a feeling that she’s getting just as much from our clandestine interactions as I am.
“You shouldn’t have to,” I remind her gently.
She flashes me a sad, but grateful smile as I start folding the blanket and breaking down the tent.
When it’s all packed up, I grab the handle of the wagon prepared to follow her to her car, but she moves to take it from me.
“I’ve got it. People might get the wrong idea.”
I feel an absurd amount of disappointment. Maybe someone should get the wrong idea. And maybe I should make it the right idea to wake her husband up to what he has and what he stands to lose if he doesn’t start giving this woman what she craves.
I almost dry-heave on the sand.
Who am I kidding?
I don’t want anyone to touch her. Especially her sleazy, condescending husband.
“Hud, is everything okay? You’ve barely touched your food. Did I overcook the chicken again?” my sister asks from across the table.
“No, Mon, you did great. I appreciate you cooking for me tonight.” I actually feel like shit for not cooking for her since she’s still getting the hang of being back on a work schedule, but ever since that day on the beach when little Serafina fell asleep to the rhythm of my heartbeat, I’ve barely been able to function.
“Thank you for picking Camden and Ally up from daycare on your way home from work. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She chokes on the last two words, reminding me how important it is that I stay on my new route.
“You know I’m happy to do it.” My voice sounds monotone even to my ears.
“Hudson, what’s wrong?” she asks again in a tone telling me not to feed her any bullshit as she grips my hand under the table.
I nod at the kids. “After bedtime.”
We finish dinner and I clean up while Monica gives the kids their baths, and then we put them to bed together.
At first it felt weird, like my sister and I were parents of the same kids, but it’s become normal, and I want my niece and nephew to have a consistent male presence in their lives to make the sting of missing their dad a little less.
When they’re older, I’ll tell them all kinds of stories. My brother-in-law was awesome.
Hence the reason he was my best friend before he hooked up with my sister.
Although, I was elated when he fell in love with Monica.
I used to tease him all the time and tell him he really fell in love with me since she and I are so much alike.
He’d throw his head back in laughter and say, If you suck dick half as good as she does, I wouldn’t say no.
The memory brings a smile to my face, and Monica catches it.
“Your mood seems better. What’s got you all smiley?”
“Just thinking about Will.”
“I miss him.” She sighs.
“Me too, Mon. I could really use his help right now.”
Phoenix, Knox, and Jake would all help me in a split second, but I fear their judgment, and honestly, they should judge me. Even though I’m ninety-five percent certain they’d have my back, I’m just not ready to verbalize it to them quite yet.
“I’m a poor substitute for my wise husband, but why don’t we open a bottle of wine and you can tell me what’s on your mind?”
I follow her to the kitchen and grab two glasses while she chooses the bottle she’s in the mood for. I’m not really a wine drinker, but I’d drink cat piss if that’s what she wanted.
She pulls a bottle of red and gets to work on the cork. “I know it’s still hot out, but this one was aged in bourbon barrels. I thought you might enjoy it a little more.”
“That’s thoughtful, Mons.”
She rolls her eyes at my use of the nickname which honestly just slipped out, out of habit. “On second thought, maybe I’ll pour you a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.”
Speaking of cat piss.
I smile and hold out the glasses. “Whatever you want, Monica,” I tease.
We take our drinks to the front porch along with the baby monitor. The low hum of the highway in the distance creates a nice background noise so the silence doesn’t make this worse than it is.
“Okay, talk,” she says.
“There’s a woman on my delivery route,” I start.
Monica sits up straighter, her eyes alight even in the darkness.
“Oh, do tell.”
“She’s fucking gorgeous. And she just has this energy about her. Like she’s a caged bird waiting for someone to free her. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“You’ve always been just as good at reading people as I am, Hud. We get it from Mom.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“But?” my sister prompts.
“I can’t stop thinking about her. I ran into her at the lake a few days ago and we couldn’t take our eyes off each other. The air was laced with so much tension you could’ve cut it with a knife.”
“I’ve never known you to shy away from a woman, Hudson Goddorah. What’s the hold up?”
I down half my wine and blow out a breath, staring at a spot on the floor of the front porch. “She’s married.”
“Oh shit, Hud. That’s an obvious no-go.”
“Hell, Mon, I know. But her husband’s a prick. And she’s so unhappy.”
“How do you know her husband?”
“He answered the door once. Made some snarky comment about me being poor because I drive a delivery truck for a living.”
“What a pretentious asshole!” my sister yells, coming to my defense.
“Yeah. Real tool. The packages I deliver always require a signature because they’re from Cartier and other expensive ass places.
The crazy thing is, though, Shannon doesn’t strike me as wanting any of it.
Every time I see her, she’s in casual clothes, her hair in a messy bun, or just down but not curled or anything, no makeup.
Hell, she doesn’t even paint her nails.”
“Been paying attention, have you?” my sister asks, quirking a brow as she raises her glass to her lips.
“It’s impossible not to.” I divulge the details about catching Shannon on the couch and how she told me she was trying to put the spark back in her marriage.
“You need to stay away from them, Hud. Whatever they have going on, they need to figure it out without you interfering.”
“How am I supposed to stay away when it’s literally my job to show up at her house damn near every week?” I ask, getting frustrated that my sister isn’t immediately jumping on this train. I already feel shitty enough as it is.
Monica looks at me, taken aback.
“Sorry.” I sigh. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“You stay the hell away from her is what you do. She’s letting you get close even though she’s married, Hudson. And it sounds like this guy has money, so you could end up in serious trouble.”
I hang my head and fiddle with my wine glass. “For the record, it was me that pursued her at the lake. She’s done nothing inappropriate. I can just tell she’s unhappy, and yeah, there’s definitely an attraction, but it’s not like she’s acted on it.”
Monica leans over and pats my knee. “You know I love you, Hud, and I’ll support you no matter what, but please be smart. If this woman or her husband hurt you in any way, I hope you’re prepared to raise Cam and Ally alone, because I’ll be in prison for manslaughter.”
I chuckle. “You mean getting this job at the D.A.’s office wouldn’t help you any?”
“Not if I get caught with her blood under my nails and a shovel in my hands,” Monica says nonchalantly.
“You’re a scary woman.”
“Never forget it.”