Chapter 21
Shannon
At five o’clock, I hear the garage door open and it startles me because Gregor isn’t due home until ten tonight. My mind races through possibilities, and as much as I want it to be Hudson, I know that’s impossible.
I grab Serafina out of her high chair, prepared to dash out the front door if needed when I hear Greg’s voice behind me.
“Shannon! I’m home.”
“Jesus, Greg. You scared the hell out of me,” I chastise. “I wasn’t expecting you until later.”
He drops his bag on the kitchen floor, no doubt expecting me to put everything away, and reaches for our daughter, holding her high in the air.
She giggles until he does that fake-drop thing.
Of course, he catches her, but my daughter just finished her dinner and is not enjoying the sensation of being on the Tower of Terror.
“Excuse me for wanting to surprise my family,” Greg says nonchalantly, still tossing Serafina in the air.
“Gregor, she just finished eating. Could you please put her down?” If I’m trying not to piss him off, I’m doing a terrible job.
“Jesus, Shannon, relax,” he gripes. “This isn’t exactly the welcome home I thought I’d get.”
As if sticking up for me, Serafina spits up every ounce of milk and her pureed dinner on Gregor’s suit. I cough into my hand to cover up my laugh.
Finally ready to be done with the game, Gregor hands her over to me. “Well, I guess I’m going to go clean up. Could you heat me up some of whatever you’re having?” His voice trails off as he heads for the master bedroom.
“I haven’t made anything. I thought it was just going to be me so I ate a quick peanut butter sandwich before I fed Serafina,” I call after him, not even sure if he heard me.
I strip Serafina in the kitchen, playing with her toes to distract her from the cold air now hitting her skin. I toss her dirty outfit directly into the washer to wait for the rest of the load and then carry her upstairs for something new and warm.
When we come down a few minutes later, Gregor looks at me expectantly from the kitchen table, his phone in his hands.
“What do we have to eat?” he asks.
At the absolute end of my patience with him, I open my mouth to answer, when my phone dings. Thankfully, it’s in my back pocket—I can’t stand to be separated from it these days, just in case. I place my clean daughter in her high chair and answer Greg before checking the message.
“I don’t know. I made a peanut butter sandwich,” I repeat.
“Is that all you’re eating? Don’t you want to make spaghetti or something?”
“Gregor, you know where the pantry is as well as the cupboard containing the pots. You’re also extremely intelligent and I have all the faith in the world that if you want spaghetti, you can certainly make it.”
He turns slowly in his chair to look at me. A move that intimidated me in the past because it does a good job of conveying his anger as it boils just below the surface. But I will no longer allow this man to control me, manipulate me, coerce me, or entrap me.
“I’m gone for less than forty-eight hours and come home to find some angry, spiteful woman has replaced my wife. What has gotten into you?”
“The truth?” I ask, throwing his own tone back at him.
“Well, I certainly don’t think lying will help the situation,” he snarks.
“I’m still not over finding you in your office with your dick in your hand and to add—”
“For fuck’s sake, Shannon! Why are you still going on about that? It was embarrassing enough as it is, must you continue to bring it up?” he shouts, causing Serafina to cry.
It’s just like Gregor to shift the blame onto me and make me the issue. I want to explain that I’m not angry that he was masturbating, I’m angry that he refuses to be intimate with me and prefers to get the job done alone while I’m starving for his affection.
Well, was starving for his affection.
“You know what, we should talk about this later. I’m going to take Serafina back upstairs for her bath.”
“Fine. I have some work to finish anyway. I’ll be in my office.
We’ll talk after you get Serafina down.” His order makes me grind my teeth.
Is it really so hard to ask? And even if that answer is yes, why can’t he at least phrase his demand less aggressively?
If he’d said when you’re ready, I’d like to talk about this, I would drop everything and give him my undivided attention.
But now I see the power move for what it is and it sickens me to look back on my life and see how often I mistook it for stress or a misunderstanding on my part.
It isn’t until I finish Serafina’s bath that I remember my phone had gone off downstairs. Placing her on her stomach on her play mat, I surround her with her favorite toys and lie on the floor next to her, finally checking my phone.
Hudson
I know I said I wouldn’t text you, but I figured we have a couple hours of freedom left that I should take advantage of.
I miss you already. I loved seeing you in my bed this morning.
Shannon
I miss you too. Greg came home early.
It’s been a shitshow ever since.
When can I see you again?
I put my phone back in my pocket. Knowing he’s at dinner with his sister, I don’t expect a response, so when it pings almost immediately, I smile even though no one is watching.
Hudson
You and Serafina are welcome at my house anytime.
Shannon
Tomorrow then? Call me when you get off?
Hudson
Wait, I’m confused. Did you want me to call you tomorrow or when I get off?
*picture message*
A picture comes through of Hudson’s hand wrapped around his beautiful cock. I memorize every aspect of this picture before asking my next question.
Shannon
Aren’t you at your sister’s?
Hudson
Yes. I’m in the bathroom.
Necessary break from cleaning the dishes while Mon is upstairs finishing Ally’s bath.
Cam and I are quick because he likes to play with his blocks before bed.
Shannon
Let me watch?
If only he knew how desperate I am to be involved in this moment with him.
A second later, a robotic ring alerts me to an incoming FaceTime call.
I flip my phone to silent before pressing the button on the side of my phone to turn my volume all the way down and watch in awe as Hudson strokes his thick shaft.
I send a paranoid glance at Serafina to make sure she can’t see my screen—not that she would understand what was happening, but still, live porn as an infant probably isn’t great—before returning my full attention back to Hudson.
I want to hear him.
I want to hear what it sounds like when he strokes himself. Is he panting? Moaning? Is he talking?
I push up from the floor and quietly shut the door to Serafina’s room and then turn the volume up as much as I dare, placing the speaker directly against my ear. Hudson’s voice filters through the speaker mid-sentence.
“…inside you. Every time I jerk off, it’s your face I see, Shannon. The way those decadent lips looked locked around my cock in the back of my truck today. You’re so fucking beautiful on your knees for me. And the way you swallowed every last drop…oh fuck, I’m close.”
I watch with rapt attention at how he pulls on himself, trying to learn the strokes he likes, if he flicks his wrist or keeps it straight, does he focus more on his shaft or the tip? As I’m watching, the need to get him over the edge fills every cell of my body.
“Come for me, Hudson. Will you let me see how much you want me? Please? I need to see it. I need to see you milk that perfect co—”
His grunts cut me off mid-sentence as his release shoots from his tip, some of it on his hand, some of it into the sink.
My breathing matches Hudson’s even though I’m not the one who just came.
It’s been a long time since I spoke words like that to anyone.
Even before Gregor, I knew that some guys got intimidated by a woman with a dirty mouth, but I can’t seem to help myself around Hudson.
Gregor used to tolerate it a little, but as he’s gotten older, he isn’t into it.
I wait with baited breath to see how Hudson feels.
He props the phone up on the vanity against the mirror and there’s something soothing about watching him clean himself up. There’s a slowness to his movements and the lack of urgency to get off the phone and end the moment has my head spinning and my heart swooning.
Once he’s done, he picks the phone up and shows me his grinning face this time.
“I swear you were made for me. You know that?” The gravel in his voice has me desperate.
"That was so hot. The only problem is now I need—”
“Shannon?” Gregor’s voice comes through the door a split second before he opens it, still in his suit from the plane.
I hate myself for it, but I hang up on Hudson and frantically open my camera app, pretending to take pictures of Serafina.
Annoyed with Gregor for interrupting my call—and no, I don’t want to examine the hypocrisy of that right now, thank you very much—I give a short, “What?”
“I thought you were coming downstairs so we could talk? I want to tell you about the trip and yes, we should probably talk about the upcoming retreat.”
“And the other thing?” I ask, seemingly begging for a fight.
Gregor scrubs a hand down his face. “Fine. If you need to talk it to death so we can move on, then yes, we’ll talk about that too.”
I scoop Serafina off her mat, sing her our nighttime song even though it’s a little early, trail my fingers along the planes of her face, and watch as her eyelids grow heavy.
Satisfied that she’s down for the count, I steel my nerves and follow Gregor into the hallway and down the massive staircase. Instead of going toward the living room, he turns to his office.
I briefly think about asking to have this conversation in a different room, but decide it most likely won’t affect the outcome in a positive way, so I stay silent as he takes his seat behind the large wooden desk, and I’m forced into one of the chairs in front of it as if I were one of his criminal clients.
“The firm is hosting a fall retreat at the coast at the end of the month. I’ve already RSVP’d and it would mean a lot if you would go with me.
They’re hosting a dinner on Saturday in my honor for making partner finally.
Besides, I figured you’d jump at the opportunity.
You’ve been practically begging to go to the beach for a while. ”
“And yet you took us to another city on our getaway because going to the beach in cooler weather is ridiculous, if I remember correctly,” I say, reciting his words back to him.
“It feels like you haven’t heard a word I’ve been saying recently, Greg, and I need to make some changes because my life as it is currently isn’t working for me anymore. ”
He stands, smacking both palms flat on his desk, in full attorney mode now.
“Sit down,” I demand, finding strength I haven’t had with him for quite some time.
Without truly considering leaving as an option—until recently—I would wait these storms out, staying silent to appease the outburst. “I am not a client and this is not a courtroom. You will have a civilized conversation with me or we won’t converse at all. ”
“My apologies,” he sneers. “What about this life isn’t living up to your expectations? Is it our gorgeous home that you resent so much? Or perhaps it’s our beautiful daughter that’s made you so bitter?”
“When did you become so cruel?” My heart is pounding in my chest as I realize I don’t know the man sitting across from me. Perhaps I never did.
“When did you become so obstinate?” he fires back. All of this I can handle, but his next words chill me to the bone. “Some fucking delivery boy brings you half-dead flowers and suddenly you’re on my case about every-fucking-thing.”
Because again, this is obviously all my fault.
“Is that what this is about? Insecurity because another man performed an act of kindness for me? Perhaps if you would remove your head from your ass long enough to do something kind for me yourself, we wouldn’t be having this utterly pointless conversation, Gregor.
” I’m desperate to tell him I want a divorce.
That I’m leaving him in his big fancy house all alone.
That he will have copious amounts of time to devote to his clients and his colleagues because Serafina and I won’t be around to distract him anymore.
That he can have his flashy cars and his fancy watches and I’m sure his money will be enough to lure the perfect woman to his arm.
But I can’t say any of that.
Not yet. There are too many things that have to happen first and for now, my best option is to play nice and stay put. I’m getting closer, but trying to lessen the fallout means I need just a little more time.