Chapter 22
Hudson
Iknew this would happen at some point. Shannon’s husband would come home and we’d go back to stealing a few minutes of interaction here and there, but I’m pissed that our brief period of freedom got cut short. And the way she hung up on me makes me afraid for her.
It’s getting late, but I need to talk to my sister before I go, not to mention, I still have bedtime duties for Cam and Ally.
I clean myself up and head upstairs, feeling like a big ball of tension even though I just came so hard my legs shook.
Monica and I go through our routine, and despite all the bullshit going on in my life, when it comes to my niece and nephew, I have no trouble being fully present. I savor every second with these two because I know Will would give anything to be here with them right now.
Goddamn, I miss him. And it seems to be getting worse…unless I’m around Shannon.
Once the kids are finally drifting off to sleep, Monica and I drag our weary asses back downstairs and she starts to pick errant toys up off the floor.
“So, I found something out that is either going to make you really happy or piss you all the way off,” I tell her, keeping my voice low in case one of the kids gets out of bed and comes to find us.
Monica straightens up and eyes me with her tongue in her cheek.
“You slept with her, didn’t you?” she asks bluntly.
“Depends on your definition of slept with, but that’s not what it is,” I wince.
She moves to the couch and sits, patting the space next to her. “I’m too old to drink on a school night, so you’re going to have to just have to spill it,” she says, her voice tired from still adjusting to her job at the DA’s office.
“Shannon is married to the attorney who got Jason Reed off on a technicality.” I hold my breath as I wait for my sister’s reaction.
It seems like forever before she says, “For fuck’s sake, Hudson, you’re messing around with Shannon Hartley?
Gregor Hartley’s wife?” I nod, but stay quiet.
“Hudson James Goddorah, you’ve got to stop this right now.
I mean it. That guy is the worst. He has no morals…
obviously, but unfortunately, he’s powerful and one hell of an attorney. ”
“Yeah, so I’ve been told. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s more than sex, Mon. I like her. I like being around her. I like making her smile.”
“I should’ve poured alcohol for this conversation,” Monica says flatly before continuing. “Well, I guess a bright side here is that it’ll be gloriously ironic if she leaves him for you. He took something from us so I guess this is a great way to repay him.”
My jaw clenches. “Monica, I’m not falling for Shannon out of some revenge plot. I just want to help her find the life she wants.”
I watch as my sister chews on her lip at war with herself.
“I’ll keep my eyes and ears peeled for anything that could help,” she finally says, huffing out a laugh.
“The case I got assigned to is one of his. I’ll have to see the smug bastard every day in court now that the case he took from Driscoll finally has a date. ”
My stomach flips.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You shouldn’t have to do that. Can’t you ask to be given a different trial?”
She shakes her head. “Not if I want to keep this job. And I didn’t tell you because I knew it would make you upset.” She pats my shoulder. “I know you miss Will as much as I do.”
“This is kind of a mess, isn’t it?” I joke, even though it isn’t funny at all.
Monica blows out a breath. “I’m not sure what you expected when you started getting involved with a married woman, but yeah, this is probably messier than your average affair.”
After a couple beats of silence, I stand. “Well, I should get going.”
My sister looks up at me from the couch. “Are you going to keep seeing her?”
I give her the most honest answer I can. “I didn’t seek Shannon out on purpose. I don’t want to be attracted to her, or complicate any of our lives. But I’m not going to walk away until she tells me to.”
“Don’t you think you should at least cool it until she’s officially separated?” The question isn’t unreasonable. In fact, it’s a really good idea. If only my brain were on board.
“I think that’s a great idea. Unfortunately, she’s allowed herself to become isolated and has no one outside of her parents to help her through this.”
Monica stands and begins to pace. “That’s not your problem, Hudson!” she whispers vehemently. She’s only trying to look out for me, but her frustration is making my own rise.
“So, what? I just turn my back on her? It is my problem because I’m trying to be a decent human being,” I argue.
“Since when is sleeping with someone else’s wife considered being a decent human being?”
Ouch.
I’m not saying she’s wrong, but it’s more complicated than that.
“I’m gonna go,” I say quietly, kissing Monica’s cheek. Even if she’s against me on this, she’s still my sister and I’ll always love her. “Don’t forget I’m picking Cam and Ally up from daycare for the aquarium on Friday,” I remind her.
“I remember. They’ve been talking about it for the last week,” she says with a strained smile. “I’m sorry for being so harsh, Hud. I’m just worried about you. If this goes sideways, it’s going to be ugly.” The apology is genuine, but all I can muster is a nod as I head out the door.
I’m a dead man walking. Emotional and mental exhaustion have me ready to keel over which isn’t great since I’m on the volunteer schedule for the fire station tonight.
I eat lunch in the grocery store parking lot today, not wanting to risk another check in from Lisa or a nosy neighbor starting to pick up on my routine, or worse, Gregor coming home at lunch again.
I swear the next time I see that motherfucker, I might not be able to stop myself from putting my fist through his face.
It’s hard as hell to make my deliveries in her neighborhood without stopping by her house, but I force myself to keep driving.
Until I have more information, I won’t put her in a position she doesn’t want to be in so as much as it blows, the ball remains in her court.
Finally, a little after three-thirty—which officially makes this the longest day of my life—Shannon sends me a text.
Shannon
Are you off work?
Hudson
Just pulling back into the terminal.
But I have to work at the fire station tonight so I need to sleep when I get home.
Didn’t get much of that last night.
Shannon
I’m really sorry about hanging up on you.
Hudson
I got worried when I didn’t hear from you all day.
Shannon
Just something Greg said.
Hudson
That doesn’t give me the warm fuzzies, Shan.
Shannon
I know.
Maybe a couple days to let things die down would be helpful.
I’ll text you Friday?
Hudson
I’ll be waiting, phone in hand.
Shannon
Is that all that’ll be in your hand??
Hudson
Do not tempt me to drive there right now and fuck you against a wall, Shannon. I’m hanging on by a thread. This is the longest edging of my life.
Shannon
I hope that changes soon.
And please be careful at the fire station. I guess it’s my turn to worry through a sleepless night.
Hudson
I always am. No need to worry. You need to rest. Talk to you Friday.
This state of being is the weirdest I’ve ever experienced.
Shannon and I are not in any definable relationship, yet it’s her face, her words, her presence I crave more than any other.
My friends don’t know her, my sister doesn’t know her.
I can’t call her to tell her about my day.
She has the power to completely destroy me, but if I died tomorrow, no one would think to call her and tell her.
The next three days are certainly going to blow, but at least I’ll be occupied tonight.
“Hud. You still with us? It’s your turn. Knox raised,” Phoenix says, gesturing to the poker table. I swear this thing gets more use than anything else in the fire station.
I throw my cards face-down on the tabletop, unable to concentrate. I really hope that alarm doesn’t sound tonight. Or maybe I wish it would. At least it would force me to think about something else for a while.
“You said her husband is an attorney,” Knox starts. “What kind?”
“Criminal defense,” I reply, watching the rest of the game play out.
“What’s his name?” Phoenix asks. Not like Phoe knows that many criminal defense attorneys, but I know the answer to his question, so I give it.
“Gregor Hartley.”
Jake’s head snaps to me as he starts coughing violently.
Knox is sitting on Jake’s other side and slams the heel of his hand down repeatedly on Jake’s back, trying to help him clear his airway until Jake finally pushes Knox away.
“Jesus, man, you’re gonna smack my spine through my sternum.” I can’t help but laugh as I remember our night out at the club when Knox punched Jake in the arm. Poor fella doesn’t know his own strength.
Knox just shrugs. “At least you’re breathing.”
Jake gives Knox a look that can only be described as the emoji with flat lines for the eyes and the mouth, before turning to look at me with panic now coating his features.
“Hud, Gregor Hartley is who replaced Ivan Driscoll as my dad’s attorney.” Almost as an afterthought he adds, “And I’m not exactly sure how that happened considering Hartley is a client of Ellington Wealth Management.”
The room spins for a second as I digest this information.
“He’s also the attorney that got the guy off that killed Will,” I tell the guys.
“Christ,” Knox breathes.
“Have you told your sister?” Jake asks.
“Yeah, I told her last night. It was received as well as could be expected,” I lament to my best friends.
“So let me get this straight,” Phoenix starts. “A regular affair wasn’t exciting enough? You had to find the wife of a prominent attorney who we all have beef with and fuck his wife? That’s badass, Hud. You’re my fucking hero.”
“First of all,” I clarify through gritted teeth, “I haven’t fucked her.”
Before I can continue my argument, Phoenix grins and interrupts me, “So, you’re telling me you haven’t touched her at all?”
“No, I’m not saying that,” I respond, rolling my eyes as he continues his onslaught of questions.
“Okay, so we’re talking semantics here. You’ve fucked her with your tongue or your fingers…either way, it still counts. It might even count twice if she got off.”
He’s pushing my buttons, but I’m weak and I give him a reaction.
“Of course she got off! I know how to…oh you fucking bastard.”
Phoenix sits back in his chair and gives me a smug-ass grin.
“So, what’s next?” Knox asks, ignoring Phoenix’s childish ways.
“Well, she asked that we let things cool off for a couple of days and she’ll text me again on Friday,” I explain. Hearing it out loud makes it sound bad. Like I have no say or control over what happens, but truthfully, I suppose I don’t.
My friends all give me pitying looks, but it’s Jake who responds first.
“Hud, you know we’ll help however we can, just be careful. You’re a bleeding heart and I don’t want some chick cashing in on your good will.”
It’s hard to explain that it isn’t like that, but they don’t know her and I know how bad it looks, so I just nod.
“Thanks, man.”
Despite everyone’s warnings, including my own alarm bells, Friday can’t get here fast enough.