Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
JAMISON
There’s a heaviness on my chest as I rest on my sofa. My future with Dori rides on two people, Aiden and Lauren.
I glance at my text from Aiden, trembling.
Aiden: We can talk, but I’m with some work buddies tonight. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Me: Great. Before or after work will be best.
My gut clenches, but at the same time, I’m relieved. I’ve decided to put it all on the line because I don’t want to be without Dori anymore.
Speaking with Aiden will be one of the most challenging conversations I’ll ever have, but telling him how I feel about his sister has to be done.
The timing is horrible, but since Dori knows I’m hiding something, she won’t let up until I tell her. If I felt like she would understand, I wouldn’t be hesitating like I am.
She’s going to be hurt. Knowing her, I wouldn’t be surprised if she cut me out of her life again.
I didn’t mean to let things get out of hand like they did at the sushi restaurant, but when I’m around her, I fall to my knees and want all of her. She’s like a drug I’m addicted to.
Her text didn’t help. It left me weak and dying to be with her. I take a moment and let myself enjoy the memory.
There’s a knock on my door. I walk over and open it, seeing Dori standing there. My body warms instantly.
“Is this going to be an everyday thing?” I open the door wider. “Come in.”
“It can be if you want.” She smiles as she steps inside.
“Oh, I want.” I plant a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll take your coat.”
“Thanks.” She toes off her boots and hands me her jacket. “Have you talked with Aiden yet?”
“You’re impatient, but that’s okay. I am too.” I hang her coat in the foyer closet. “He’s out with friends, but said he’ll make time tomorrow.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to tell me what’s going on with you?” She scans my face with wild anticipation.
“Let’s move to the sofa and talk.” A jittery sensation crashes against my rib cage. I motion to the other room. “Have you eaten?”
“I ate after my spin class, but if you haven’t, I’ll help you make something.”
“No, I’ve eaten. Can I get you something to drink?” I walk to the island in the center of the kitchen while trying to calm my breath.
She shakes her head and retreats to the other room, so I take a minute to think.
“What’s on your mind, Jami? You look a thousand miles away.”
“I’m scared about what happens when I tell you everything. What if you can’t handle it and run off?” I press my palms on the counter to stabilize myself.
She takes a seat. “Is it that bad, Jami?”
“No matter how much I try to soften the blow, it’s going to cause a reaction in you. I’m trying to prepare you, but I don’t know. I’ve run through every scenario, and it’s a question I can’t get the answer to until I tell you.”
She’s twisting her hair around her finger and biting down on her lip. Her anxiousness fills the room.
I force my trepidation down and sit beside her, mentally preparing myself. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’ve decided that I’ll take whatever you tell me and deal with it no matter what it is. There’s one condition, though.” She tucks her legs underneath her and sits facing me.
My neck tightens. “What’s that?”
“You have to tell me everything tonight. I promise I’ll hear you out, but I need to know. I can’t focus on anything because I’m worried about you.”
“You don’t need to be concerned about me. I’m not in any danger.”
Her green eyes grow wary. “If I can trust you, you need to trust me. Come on, Jami. We’ve known each other for years. This shouldn’t be so hard.”
I search her eyes for some confirmation she’ll stay by my side once she learns about Lauren. Maybe Dori will be able to handle it, but what if she can’t?
My brows pinch together. “I need a minute to think about how I want to do this.”
“Take your time. We’ve got all night.”
My heart pounds against my ribs as I try to find the right words to start this.
“Okay, here it goes. When I’m with you, the darkness falls away. My insides turn into rainbows and crazy shit like that. I’m some child thinking about presents and skipping down the street. I’m completely out of control around you.”
“Rainbows and presents?” She smirks at my ridiculous start.
“I just wanted you to know where I’m coming from. It took me forever to tell you I love you and when I did, it came out of my mouth unexpectedly.”
“You didn’t want me to know?”
She moves her hair over one shoulder. Her neck is on full display. Like a moth to a flame, I lean into her and kiss up her neck until I reach the space behind her ear.
“You drive me insane.” I suck and nibble on her skin.
She sinks into me. “Jami, you doing that makes me want to push you over and take you right now.”
I move to her mouth and find her pouty lips parted and waiting. I dive into her and get lost in her touch.
There are more important things I should do before this happens, but she’s like a drug I can’t give up. I’m an addict when it comes to her.
She runs her hands along my arms and makes her way behind my neck, tickling my skin with her long nails. Our tongues thrash and explore as I gently push her over and climb on top of her.
My conscience keeps pointing out we really should talk first, but I might not get this chance again if we do. It’s selfish, but I need something to get me through exposing all of my deceit.
Her arms go around my shoulders as I kiss near her ear. “I love you, Dori.”
“I love you too, Jami.” Chill bumps appear over her skin.
I smile, seeing her reaction to me. Full of desire, I’m about to burst out of my body.
“Do my kisses affect you?” I press my lips against her pulse point.
“You know they do,” she breathes.
“I want you, so if you have any doubts about where this leads, stop me now.”
“I don’t want you to stop. This is something I’ve wanted for a long time. You know that.” She pushes on my chest to give her space .
I sit back on my knees, and with passion-filled eyes, I take her in. “If this happens, then I’m assuming we’re together. Even if we can’t be loud and proud about it until things settle. If we do this tonight, you’re committing to being with me and no one else.”
She nods, and her gaze locks with mine. “I know.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“I am.” She pushes up and takes my hands.
“You’re positive?”
“Yes. I’ve never put you first and I want to now. You know I’ve got things to work out, but knowing you’re waiting for me at the end of the day is enough to show me how serious you are about this.”
“I am. That’s why I want you to be sure. I know you need to figure out things with Hunter, but I trust you’ll end it with him for good after this. If we do this and you push me away again, it’ll be the last time you do.”
“I understand what you’re saying. After the last couple of days, I realize I want this more than anything.”
My chest fills with love, and my lips curl up. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”
“I know that now.” She leans forward and gives me a quick peck. “Every time I’m with you, I want it more. We’ve been through so much.”
“Too much for two people.” I take a deep breath as all the terrible things that have happened to us fly across the screen of my mind. “It’s our turn for some happiness.”
“I think so.” She beams. “We’ve loved each other from a distance for years. Our connection has always been in the back of my mind. If it’s been as powerful for you as it has been for me, then you’ll know why I want this now. We deserve our chance together.”
She studies my face. After a moment, she brings her thumb to her mouth. She chews on her nail as her brows come together. I laugh under my breath and pull her hand away from her lips.
“Dori, you don’t need to be concerned about me going cold on you. I won’t anymore.”
“But what about what I did to you?”
“After you came to my office and apologized, I started thinking. I can’t fault you for trying to escape your pain. I wish it would’ve been me who you leaned on, but Aiden was here and your emotions were high.” I blink, trying to forget that night happened.
“I’m sorry, Jami. It’s probably one of the most horrible things I’ve ever done. The fact it was to you breaks my heart.” Her head lowers, hiding her shame.
I lift her chin and gaze into her eyes. “Look, I don’t want us to hold grudges and stay stuck in the past.”
“Are you sure you can forgive me?”
“Yeah. Let’s just focus on getting things back on stable ground.” My stomach churns.
She might leave and never look back after I tell her everything. I need to explain my situation to her, but she’s going to be hurt that I didn’t share this with her. It’s enough to make me queasy.
She shifts toward me, giving me an easy distraction. I can’t say no to her. I take her into an embrace and give her a tender kiss. She needs to know how deeply I love her.
Her breathing kicks up as my heart accelerates. She pushes me back and climbs on top of me, slides her palm up my shirt, and rubs my chest.
I want this woman more than I’ve wanted any other. As she caresses me, her shirt rides up and our stomachs touch.
Her skin against mine is magical. Our chemistry ignites. I shift to flip her over, but she stops me.
“Not this time, Jami.”
I still myself. “You’re right. We should talk first. ”
“That’s not what I meant.” Her eyes sparkle into mine. “I owe you from last night.”
She reaches down beneath my gray sweatpants and strokes me as I grow harder by the second. If I don’t do something to stop her, I won’t be able to control myself.
“Dori, I think it’s important for us to discuss everything before we move forward.”
She guides herself over my stomach and positions herself between my thighs.
“I’m going to take care of you first. Then we can have as many conversations as you want.” She squeezes my shaft, moving the elastic band of my pants down.
My cock springs out from the material. There’s no hiding it. I want this.
I swallow hard and try to make a wise decision. “Dori?—”
“No. I want to do this.” With that, she takes the crown of my cock into her mouth.
“Fuck.” I push my head against the cushion and close my eyes. “That feels too good.”
She hums like she’s telling me to enjoy it. The vibration causes me to become as hard as a rock. I give in and let her continue.
She licks around the tip and moans. It’s such a turn-on. I thrust into her mouth as I place my hand on the back of her head.
“Just like that.” I groan with desire flowing from my veins. I bring my lusty stare to her.
She laps over me again. My stomach clenches in response to her sensitive touch.
“Damn, your mouth is amazing.” I gather her hair in my fist.
Her cheeks are red and sunk in as she sucks hard. She moves up and down, purring like she’s in heaven.
She’s a perfect dream.
The sight of her is enough to break me in two. Her steamy gaze hooks with mine. Passion and love combine, taking me to a new level of awareness.
I love her more than words can say. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”
Her lips curl in a smile around my shaft, but she immediately goes back to giving me the best blow job I think I’ve ever had, sucking with vigor and determination.
Her beauty, her eagerness to please me, and my deep emotions for her are out of this world. I’ll never want anyone but her.
She wraps her palm around the base of my cock and licks around my tip, taking in a breath as she pumps me. Then she goes down on me as far as she can go. I hit the back of her throat, and she gags but doesn’t stop.
“That’s a good girl, temptress. Keep doing that.” I sink back and allow her to catapult me out of the stratosphere with her mouth.
My pulse thrums through my ears with each stroke and suck she takes. My hips lift while she handles me as if I were her source of inspiration.
Over and over, up and down, she goes until my body stills, allowing a powerful orgasm to build.
“I’m going to come.” I squeeze my eyes shut and explode.
My release rips through me. I jerk and my stomach tenses with each pulse that projects my cum down her throat. She moans, and the sensation pulls another wave out of me.
I groan out in ecstasy. She sucks one more time and my body spasms, telling her I can’t take anymore.
She pops off me and smiles. “Feel better?”
“Fuck…” I stare down at her. “I’m gonna need a minute to recover after that.”
She crawls up and kisses me. I can taste myself on her tongue. Knowing she enjoyed that enough to swallow every ounce of my cum has my chest filling with pride .
I break away from her and run my thumb over her bottom lip. “You’re fantastic at that.”
Her cheeks turn pink. “I’m glad you had a good time.”
“Better than good, temptress.” I press up to signal we need to move. “We need to have that conversation now.”
“I know.” She pushes back and gives me room to get readjusted.
“We should’ve talked first.”
“I wasn’t going to do anything until I got what I wanted.” Her eyes twinkle.
“That much was obvious.” I situate myself to have our talk. “I should’ve known because you always get what you want.”
“Good, then don’t feel guilty about it. I had fun and wanted to set the mood.”
“Yeah, but we need to have our talk. Let’s get everything out in the open and go from there.” Anxiety creeps up my spine. “You may change your mind after I tell you everything.”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can say that’ll change my mind. As long as it’s nothing illegal, I’m ready to stand behind you and deal with whatever it is.”
“I appreciate that because I’m going to need all the support you can give.”
“Well, I’m waiting. Let me have it, big guy.”
I laugh at her mocking me. “Easy does it. I’m already feeling mighty vulnerable. You don’t need to add insult to injury.”
“Sorry. It’s just funny when Melanie says it, so I thought I’d use it on you too.”
“Yeah, about Melanie…”
Dori turns white. “Oh, no. Please don’t tell me you hooked up with her. Oh, Jami. If you did?—”
“No.” I rush to take her hand in mine. “It’s nothing like that. I was about to say that whatever we talk about tonight has to stay between us. You can’t run off and discuss this with her.”
“But she’s my best friend. How am I supposed to keep this from her?”
My body sags as I sigh. “She has a hard time keeping things to herself. I can’t risk her knowing about this and slipping in front of Hunter.”
“What does Hunter have to do with the mess you’re in?”
“Before I cover that, I need your word.”
She pauses and considers my request. “Is there anyone I can talk to about this?”
“Only me until the app is launched successfully.”
“So all this is about the app?”
“It’s not about the app, but it revolves around it. Once I complete my contract obligations, you can share away.”
“Okay, it’s time you spill it. I’m trying to figure it out and it’s hurting my brain.” She rubs her temples.
“I know it’s time.” I take a long, deep breath. “Please try to keep an open mind as I’m talking.”
“Done, now go.” She motions with her hand to hurry up.
“You have a temper and have been known to fly off the handle without having all the facts. Can you promise to remember that?” My hands sweat.
“Jami, I agree with all your requirements. Now, can we get on with it?”
I brace myself and prepare to tell her everything. I hope I’m making the right decision.
“Let’s start with the easy stuff first.”
“Fine.”
I run my hand down my beard. “I have a call out to Aiden. I’m going to tell him how I feel about you. He won’t like it. No, that’s an understatement. He’s going to hate me after, and you’ll have to deal with the blowback. Tell me now if there’s any doubt you won’t be able to handle it.”
“I’ve been telling you he shouldn’t run your life all along. He’ll get over it.” She glances down like she’s not sure she believes her own words.
“Dori, I promised him I would never do this with you. I swore on my life I wouldn’t do this. This will be a huge betrayal, so please consider it before answering me. I’m still going to tell him I’m in love with you, but I don’t have to say anything else until you’re ready.”
My skin erupts with nerves, and my body is on fire. I’ve never gotten this far and now I can’t turn back. But Dori needs time to consider this. He’s her brother, after all.
He might be the only so-called family I have left, but I can’t keep hiding this from him. He’s going to want to kill me once he hears me out, but I have to hope someday he’ll forgive me.
Not likely, so don’t get your hopes up.
She peeks through her lashes, terror covering her emerald eyes. “Can you tell him about you first? We can see how it goes and take it from there.”
I knew this was going to be too much for her once things got serious. My stomach drops into the abyss and rips my heart out right along with it. I have my answer. I’m in this brutal fight alone.