Chapter 40
Mason
For a beat, Sebastian and I stayed frozen under the weight of his question. I knew that he knew, I was socially stupid, but I wasn’t fucking dumb. And, while I didn’t know for sure how he found out, Cameron was suspicious.
Still, I didn’t expect him to be this bold.
He smiled soft, humming to himself as he softly patted my stomach. That's when I smelled the alcohol on his breath.
“Seb, have you been drinking?” I asked slowly.
He choked, shoulders rising as he went stiff.
“I–why do you think that?”
“You smell like a bar floor.”
“Okay, so I had two beers, back to back, on an empty stomach.”
I blinked at him.
“Seriously?”
Sebastian gave me a sheepish half-smile, the kind that would’ve been a hell of a lot more charming if I wasn’t sitting on top of him with his hands still warm on my stomach.
“Will you be mad if I’m serious?”
“Sebastian,” I rubbed my temple and groaned. “I’ve forgiven you for killing someone."
“You forgive me?” He pulled me closer.
“Yes, I forgive you.” No part of me knew why he did it, or who he killed. But, I assumed that was for the best.
It didn’t seem like a fucked up game to him, like it did with Sophia. So, all I could do was completely, and recklessly trust Sebastian, and that’s what I did.
“Does that mean I’m gonna get a baby for my birthday?”
I stared at him, and after so long of hiding it, and faking a negative pregnancy test, I expected him to be mad at me. But, fuck it.
“No, you’re not getting a baby,” I said flatly.
And his face fell. “Mason, please don’t lie–”
“You’re getting two babies,” I held up a v of fingers, and for the first time since Leona and I found out, I smiled about the news.
His eyes widened into a look of pure, unadulterated, oh shit.
“Two?” He mirrored my gesture.
And I nodded. “Two, fraternal twins.”
Well, we didn’t know that for sure. The doctor said they were di-di twins, and more than likely fraternal, and I was going with it.
He blinked. “Like, double baby?”
“Like… two diapers at once. Two tiny mouths to feed. Two of you.” My eyes started burning in the best way possible.
He dropped his head back against the couch like the weight of it all finally caught him.
Then he laughed. Loud and a little breathless. “Oh my God, I’ll be twenty-four with five kids.”
His smile remained as he looked up at the ceiling, and I thought he just needed a beat to process that he’d officially become the sibling with all the fucking kids, the he looked back down.
“I’m going to have to get you pregnant, again,” he said, completely serious.
“I–” I pulled back. “What?”
“We have to have them in even numbers, that way they all have built in best friends.”
My jaw dropped. “You haven’t even met these two and you’re planning the next set?”
“No, not the next set.” He tapped my nose, words slurred ever so slightly. “You either have to have one baby, or triplets. Or it defeats the purpose.”
I let out a soft, disbelieving laugh, but he looked at me like I was already half-way to round three of pregnant. My stomach twisted.
“You’re serious,” I said.
Sebastian’s hands slid from my hips to my thighs, dragging slow and firm.
“I’m so serious,” he murmured, voice dipping lower. “You’re literally glowing, and it’s all I can do not to fuck you over my desk.”
Heat pooled low in my stomach, trickling down to my thighs.
“I, wow, you are bold,” I squeaked, suddenly aware of how close he and I were, his erection pressed to my ass, his hands warm against my bare skin.
“I mean it.” He pulled me closer, until our noses nearly touched. “You’re—God, you’re perfect like this. Well–you’re always perfect to me. But right now, you’re soft and full, and already mine. But I want more.”
“More?” I whispered.
“More nights like this. More mornings waking up with your belly against my back. More random Mason snuggles because you just need to be close to me. More ‘oh shit, guess we’re doing this again. I promise I’m going to be so much better this time.
” His lips grazed my cheek before dipping lower. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
I didn’t answer. Mostly because his mouth was on my throat which caused me to short circuit and completely forget what words were. My thoughts became an indecipherable slurry of French, English, and the three Spanish words Lucian had taught me–none of which were useful in this particular moment.
“I just want to ruin you in the most domestic way possible,” he growled, hands slipping under my hoodie, splaying wide over my stomach. “Barefoot, pregnant, and yelling at me because I left dishes in the sink.”
“You’re insane.” Despite my protests, I shivered at his words.
He felt it. I know he felt it, because his grin turned down right wolfish.
“I don’t care if I’m drunk, or pissed off, or coming down from the worst high of my life.
You are my fucking girl. And I would walk barefoot across a sea of broken glass just to tell you I love you—” He leaned in, lips brushing mine.
“—and bury my face in that tight little cunt like it’s the only thing keeping me alive. ”
My breath caught as pressure built between my thighs. But, my mind ran toward the least sexy thing of all: my husband.
The reality hit hard: I’d ruined the idea of marriage for myself by rushing into something built on memories and nostalgia. By tying myself to someone who only seemed to love me when he was stone-cold sober.
Someone who’d manipulated my birth control just to keep me.
Someone who maybe never loved me at all.
I’d been crumbling all day under the weight of it—knowing I’d ruin this little slice of heaven the moment Sebastian handed Lucian the divorce papers tomorrow.
But heaven isn’t heaven when you dread seeing the person you used to hold most dear.
It’s hell in a pretty coat.
And I still deserved to be loved, even when I was at my worst.
Sebastian must’ve felt the silent shift, because his body stilled and his fingers pressed into my hips as if trying to ground me in the moment.
“Mason,” he said softly, like he was afraid I might leave again. “Where’d you just go?”
I tried to look away, but his hand slid to my chin and tilted my face back toward his.
“Don’t do that,” he coached." You don’t get to disappear on me.”
“I’m just… thinking,” I whispered.
“Don’t,” he said. “I’ve had a shitty day, and so have you. No more thinking, for either of us.”
His fingers trembled on my cheeks.
“If we aren’t supposed to think–what do we do?”
He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. I wasn’t exactly sure what had made his day so bad–but I didn’t ask. I didn’t need to. Instead, I closed my eyes too.
For a moment, we just breathed each other in.
Basking in the quiet, in the gravity of it all—Two souls, originally stitched together by desperation, now molded into something more.
Twisted. Knotted. Interwoven. All in the sake of making one strange, beautiful mess.
My happy place.
“You–” he started, voice gruff and breathy, like he’d die if he didn’t speak right now. “–are going to let me worship you like you’re a goddess I don’t believe in.”
His nose brushed mine.
“And I–” He kissed my jaw.“–am going to ruin you so gently, you’ll think the world made me just for you.”
Heat rolled down my spine, and my eyes fluttered open. Sebastian focused on me like I was the only thing in this world, his gaze was dark and entirely consumed in the moment.
“I’m serious,” he whispered before forcing me to my feet. “I don’t want it fast. Or rough. I want to stay in this moment forever. Until your legs are shaking and you forget everything other than how much I fucking adore you, Mason.”
My throat tightened, the burn behind my eyes almost unbearable.
I didn’t feel like I deserved this kind of love after uprooting our entire lives, but in this moment I felt like everything could be okay. As long as we got to keep the kids, we could build a better life from the ground up, one with just me, Seb, and Cameron.
It might not be perfect, and for a while it might hurt, but everything happened for a reason.
Sebastian stood, the muscles in his arms flexing as he guided me up and back, pressing me gently against his desk. His hands steadily slipped under my clothing, taking his time as if this would be his last chance to memorize every inch.
His palms dragged over my thighs, up my hips, and eventually over the curve of my stomach.
He dropped to his knees, leaving me perched on top of the oak desk as his lips followed the rapidly cooling warmth left by his hands.
Slowly, he parted my thighs and pushed my panties off to the side, fingers dipping into the heat of my cunt. I gasped, knuckles going white on the edge of the desk.
“Take your hoodie off, Princess. I need to see what I’ve done to you.”
My hands trembled as I reached for the hem, dragging the fabric over my head and tossing it aside. The air kissed my bare skin, already flushed and aching for the touch of my prince.
Sebastian looked up, eyes dragging over my swollen breasts, the curve of my belly, the slick shine between my thighs.
“I did this to you?” he asked, softly rubbing my stomach.
Smiling, I nodded slowly. “You did that. Those are your babies.”
For a second, he went completely still as he stared up at me as if I were the northern lights. As if I were something wondrous and celestial that he couldn’t believe existed in his life time.
“Never in my life did I think I could make something this beautiful,” he murmured.
Then he leaned forward and pressed a kiss low on my belly.
Then another.
And another.
His lips trailed upward until he was rising off his knees and pressing his body into mine, bracing a hand on the desk beside my hip as his other cupped my jaw.
“I want you,” he whispered. “All of you. Right now.”
Frantically, I nodded. “Sebastian, I need you.”
That was all he needed to hear.