Chapter 40 #2
Sebastian’s lips hit mine with searing urgency as his studded tongue slipped past my lips and he kissed me as if he were a poisoned man and my saliva was the antidote.
I hummed against him as his hand slipped into his pants and freed his cock.
The weight of it pressed into my thigh as it twitched in anticipation, precum already leaking from the head.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he rasped.
His cock rubbed up against me, leaving glistening tracks of heat on my skin as he anchored me in place.
“Tell me you fucking need me Mason, that you’ll always need me. You’ll always want me. No matter what you’ll always love me,” his voice frayed at the edges.
“It’s you and me until the day I die,” I promised despite the fact I could barely speak.
And those few words were Sebastain’s undoing.
A broken sound caught in his throat until his grip on my hips tightened to the point of bruising. His cock slid into my pussy, painting me with heat as an artist would a canvas. His forehead pressed to mine as his breath came in shallow gasps.
“Don’t ever take that back,” he begged, voice cracking under the weight of his words. “Don’t you ever fucking stop needing me.”
“I couldn’t, not even if I tried.”
I meant it, every last syllable. I needed him like I needed air. I needed him like I needed warmth in the winter. I needed him like he needed me.
A low growl exited Sebastian’s chest as he plunged into me as hard as he could.
“You’re mine.” he hissed. “Mine to love. Mine to fuck. Mine to worship. Forever.”
A moan parted my lips as he set the rhythm–deep, powerful thrusts that caused the desk to creak. His hands looped around my back, dragging me closer with each stroke.
My toes started to curl as his lips met my neck.
“I’ll take care of you. Always.” His lips buzzed against my neck. “Just promise you’ll always need me.”
“I will,” I gasped, nails digging into the back of his neck. “Forever.”
The tip of his dick hit just right, sending flashes of white light across my vision. Seb’s breathing stuttered as the carefully crafted thrusts morphed into something far more frantic.
“God, I’m going to fill you with my cum,” he groaned. “There’s going to be so much that it leaks onto your thighs.”
“Please,” I begged, every nerve drawn so taut I feared I may snap.
My orgasm slammed into me with the force of a semi truck, leaving me to shatter against him and shake in his arms. He followed moments later, burying himself in my cunt before spilling into me. His hips jerked with his release, and for a moment, we stayed like that.
Gasping, and shaking, and stuck together. Then, all the heat between us cooled, leaving ups in the softness of the moment.
His forehead dropped to my shoulder as he held me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For drinking, and being an idiot, and–”
“You’re not an idiot,” I breathed, threading my fingers through his sweaty hair. “You’re just Sebastian.”
He pulled away, blinking down at me. “Just Sebastian?”
I grinned up at him, “And that’s all you ever have to be.”
He pulled back, cupped my face in both hands, and searched my eyes like he needed to find something that said I was lying. But he never would.
“I know things aren’t perfect.” I said, the words sounding more like an apology. “But, I don’t care if we're messy, and still learning, I just want us”
“I want us too,” he whispered before kissing me again, this time with no lust.
He then gently lifted me off the desk and pulled me off his dick. I ignored the cum that dribbled onto my thighs as he sat us on the couch across the room. We quickly tangled ourselves together, ignoring the fact we were both sticky, and sweaty, and gross.
And, for the first time today, I didn’t feel sad. Just loved.
After our rendezvous, we both showered. But, Sebastian was still pent up and said his bad leg was hurting, so I suggested he take a bath instead, and he agreed.
While he soaked, Cameron and I put the kids to bed, but, while Cameron was exhausted and ready for bed, I felt like I was starving to death. So, while he settled in for the night, I stood in the kitchen.
Belly out, fridge open, looking for anything that sounded good. I had no idea what I wanted, and for the first time since getting pregnant the idea of food was appalling. Everything smelled wrong, or too strong, or just off.
Apparently, growing twins made my body demand things it couldn’t name.
A soft rustle behind me broke the silence, and I didn’t need to turn to know who’d be standing behind me. Even if I knew for a fact he never loved me, my skin always tingled at his presence.
“The baby is making itself known tonight,” Lucian said casually, placing a hand on my stomach.
My spine went ratchet straight as I suppressed the urge to jump out of my skin.
“The baby–” It was hard to talk about them as just one, but I didn’t want the knowledge of twins to give Lucian anymore ideas. “–is starving to death and nothing sounds good.”
I turned to face him, but the second my eyes locked with his, I had to look away. Even if Lucian didn’t love me, and just loved the idea of me or the thought of owning me, it was hard to look at him knowing what tomorrow would bring.
His hand didn’t move. Not right away.
“I can go out and get you something,” he offered quietly. “Whatever you want.”
I shook my head, “I don’t know what I want.”
A smile lifted one corner of Lucian’s lips.
“Pizza?” he suggested.
“No.”
“Pasta?”
“No.”
“Chinese?”
“No.”
He paused for a moment and scratched his head. “French fries and neon yellow cheese?”
My stomach growled. My jaw tensed as I looked at the ceiling, silently cursing the babies for my new favorite food.
“Oh my god.” He beamed, softly patting the curve of my stomach. “You’re so pregnant.”
“Stop,” I warned.
“French fries, yellow cheese, and a Shirley Temple with extra cherries–that’s what you asked for that night at Leo’s right?” Lucian chuckled as if that was a fond memory.
As if I hadn’t caught him with a bag of opioids that very night.
Lucian either didn’t notice the way his words caused me to stiffen, or he didn’t care. Either were possible.
“I’ll grab the fries and get extra cheese,” he promised. “And a Shirley Temple if they’ve got cherries. You’ll owe me for this craving run, you know.”
His teasing was gentle, and in another life, I would have flipped him off. But, right now I couldn’t, because his hand was still on my stomach and I was still hung up on how perfect we could have been if Lucian loved me like I loved him.
And, my heart broke once more.
“Hey, Kitten, are you okay?” he asked gently, cupping my chin.
And I nodded despite the burn in my eyes.
“You sure? You haven’t looked at me all day, and now you’re crying.” He laughed awkwardly. “It’s kind of concerning.”
Gravity pulled my lips into a frown as I rubbed my eyes.
“It’s hormones,” I sniffled.
Lucian didn’t look convinced. His thumb brushed my cheek, calloused and familiar, a touch I used to live for
“Okay,” he whispered. “But if it’s more than that… I’m here.”
My throat closed up.
I hated him for this. For not being all bad. For not being easy to walk away from. For showing up sober and warm and acting like the man I always thought he was.
He leaned forward and pressed the softest kiss to my temple. Like it was instinct.
“I’ll be quick,” he promised. “No need to cry.”
I nodded and batted at my eyes with the back of my hands. Once more, Lucian kissed me, only this time he turned to leave. For some reason, I couldn’t leave it at that, like my soul knew I needed to say one last thing to him.
“Hey Luci,” I said, my voice not quite my own.
He looked back over his shoulder, hand braced on the doorway.
“You know I’ll always love you, right?”
Lucian froze, staring at me like he’d never seen me before, then his eyes found mine. He gave me a soft, crooked smile and chewed his lip for a beat.
“I know, Kitten,” he said, and that was it.
He walked out of the kitchen, leaving me to have a mental breakdown in peace, or at least, I could have if my phone hadn’t started buzzing.
Still leaning against the counter, I glanced down at the screen.
Mattie.
My stomach dropped. I hadn’t spoken to her in days, and now she was texting again? My fingers shook as I swiped my thumb across the screen to unlock it and read her messages.
Stay out of Hartwood.
I know how bad this sounds, but for the love of God, don’t come back.
My mouth dried and I picked up the phone before trying to call her. But, the line rang exactly once before saying her number was no longer in service.
A strange, paranoid fear speared through my chest.
I stared at the phone screen, at the dead call log, the hollow click of disconnection still echoing in my ears. The floorboards creaked behind me, and suddenly, the world was too much all at once.
My throat closed. My ears rang.
She’s gone.
She’s in danger.
Something was wrong.
“Hey,” came Sebastian’s voice. “Mason?”
I flinched. My fingers tightened around the phone. I looked back to see him standing in the doorway. His hair was wet, and a towel was slung low around his waist.
I blinked up at him, and for a moment, I couldn’t form words. I didn’t know how to explain the lead weight in my chest, or why my entire body buzzed like it knew something wasn’t right but couldn’t place what.
“Are you okay?” he asked, slowly walking towards me.
And I nodded before looking back at the phone. What I was about to do was stupid, but, I supposed it was no dumber than forgiving Sebastian after he literally killed someone.
I drew a breath through my teeth before looking back up at him and asking: “How much do you love me?”