15. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Laura
T wo weeks have passed, and I still haven't heard a word from either Allie or Jax. Mostly Jax, but I was expecting an angry call from Allie about fucking her boyfriend at the very least.
She probably doesn't care. She doesn't remember being in love with him like you are.
"What is the plan exactly?" Natalie asks as she follows me around Jax's house to reach the back door.
"We're going inside," I say, annoyed.
"And what about the cops?"
Rolling my eyes, I stop and look at her. "They're following Allie. They're too Keystone to think the person who did this could come to the house and wait for her, so it gives us an opportunity to get inside. We just can't turn on the lights because I don't want the neighbors to share that someone was home. That'll just create unnecessary excitement because I know Allie's faking the memory loss."
I lift the corner of the mat and pull the key from the tape on the bottom. Unlocking the door, we slip inside and use the flashlights on our phone to help avoid crashing into anything. It looks exactly the same.
"You really think she's faking it?" Natalie asks now that we're safely inside.
"No one forgets a man like Jax. It's just not possible," I say, my light catching picture after picture of Jax and Allie. Hugging. Laughing. Kissing. Smiling. Damn near groping each other.
She turns me to face her. "You realize that if she was hit on the head like they said, she doesn't really have an option to choose to remember, right?"
"I still don't buy it."
"What exactly are you looking for, Laura?"
Shrugging, I move toward the bedroom, one of the rooms I've never officially been allowed in, even before Jax and I started dating. I've been in here, obviously, but just to lie on his side of the bed and smell him.
"I just want to see. I want to find any clue that Jax might not be as in love with the new Allie as we all think he is. She's still saying she can't remember anything, and if he can't have the woman he wants, maybe he'll realize loving her isn't as easy as he wants it to be.”
"She doesn't remember where she was held or anything?"
I shake my head. "According to what I overheard Benji telling Drew, she wasn't able to find the house with the detectives when they took her to area she should have been held if her story was real. And the detectives think she's faking all of this, too. I wouldn't be surprised if she's trying to pull a Gone Girl storyline. And if that's what really happened, Jax will never stay with her."
"I've been wondering why the cops never stormed wherever it was she was being held. But if she can't give them the location, which seems weird, maybe she is making everything up," Natalie agrees. "Where are Jax and Allie, by the way?"
Crinkling my nose, I look at my best friend. "Jax took Allie on a date. I mean, she's been home a couple of weeks now, and they're just going on a date?" I walk into the closet and gasp. "He kept all her fucking clothes."
"They could be new," Natalie offers, stepping inside.
"They're not. Besides the fact they're about three sizes bigger than her current weight, I was with Jax when he bought that jacket for her. He was never going to marry me."
She shuffles closer and gives my back a comforting rub, but I shrug it off. "If he'd sold the house, he'd be forced to pack up her stuff, and it would have pushed him to really move on."
"He probably would have insisted we keep a guest room with all her stuff, and he'd sleep in there after fucking me," I say. "Let's get out of here."
She walks out and heads into the living room, but I stay behind. There's a real reason for this mission, but I know Natalie won't approve. Pulling the small camera from my bag, I position it on a shelf behind two dusty figurines of frogs, and I check to make sure I have a good view of the bed. If they're getting it on, I'm going to see it. I'm going to know, and I'm going to use that knowledge to get Jax to understand how much better he had it with me. How much better I make him feel.
"Laura?" Natalie calls. "What are you doing?"
"Just checking to see if he still has something I bought him," I lie.
When I enter the living room, I sigh. The pictures are still exactly where they've always been. "God, all the pictures are still up, too. Do you have any idea how it felt to walk in here, even before we were dating, and see Allie's face plastered everywhere? Everywhere I looked, I saw her staring down at me. Seeing proof that she had Jax the way I always wanted him first really pisses me off."
"What did you expect?"
"Not a damned shrine in the form of a house, untouched for seven years. She was supposed to be dead. How long was he going to live like this? With the reminders she was gone and never coming home?"
Tilting her head, Natalie looks around the room. "Maybe he put them back up when she showed up outside."
"No, I don't think so. They're all in the exact same place they were when I used to be allowed inside. I honestly believed he'd take them down the first night we made love. It was a stupid thought."
"No, it wasn't."
"It was. He'd come to my place, fuck me, and then he'd come home to stay in his Allie shrine. She wasn't coming back, so why the hell keep all of this?"
"She did come back."
I glare at my best friend. "Yeah, I'm aware of that, thanks. But she wasn't supposed to. Whoever did this fucked up. Leaving her alive only assured this would inevitably happen. Which is why I'm not so certain it wasn't Allie. I mean, who would capture her and leave her alive for seven years?"
"Jax?" Natalie offers with a shrug. "I mean, maybe things with them weren't as great as we all believed. Maybe he knew she'd turn down his proposal, and he didn’t want to be rejected in front of all his friends and family. But he loved her, so he couldn't bring himself to kill her. If she doesn't really remember, maybe she has no idea it was him all along."
"You think Jax could do that? "
"I think love makes people do crazy things. Maybe it’s part of his plan to get her to fall in love with him again, and when that happens, her memory won't really matter. And if it does come back, it’ll be too late."
Sitting on the couch, I let her words sink in. I never once thought Jax could have something to do with this, but maybe Natalie has a point. I mean, who would let Allie live besides him? Or someone who loves him, I suppose. But I can't see Benji or Drew doing anything like this. Unless they had a thing for Allie. Wow, talk about jumping down a rabbit hole .
"I mean, it's an interesting theory."
"Do you know how she says she got free?" Natalie asks.
"Something about a key. I didn't get much more than that," I say as I try to hold back my tears. "Everyone pretty much stops talking around me now."
Moving to sit beside me, Natalie wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me against her. "Talk to me."
"Jax kept all of Allie's things for seven years. Kept the house exactly the same, and I think I just realized, for the first time, he was never actually going to marry me."
"He proposed."
I laugh and wipe at the tears. “Not every man who proposes does it because he’s in love.”
"He loves you whether he wants to admit it or not."
"He's not in love with me. Didn’t you notice how her side of the bed is ruffled? That tells me they're sleeping together. Jax has never been much of a housekeeper, and I don't know if Allie has taken that role on again or not. Which means they're probably having the most boring, vanilla sex in the world. She's getting everything I put so much time into."
Rubbing my back, Natalie rests her cheek on the top of my head as I cry on her shoulder. "You don't know any of that for sure."
No, but I will soon enough. "I was a forced rebound. Five years afterwards, but still. I thought it would hurt when he finally admitted he'd never love me like he loves her, but it's so much worse knowing he never loved me. All of this," I say and wave my hand around to the pictures in the room, "he'd never have done for me. If I disappeared without a trace, he may have participated in a search party, but he'd never lead it."
"Maybe simply having Allie out of the picture wasn't enough to make Jax fall in love with you."
I snap my head up to look at Natalie. "What do you mean?"
"That came out wrong," she quickly says. "Maybe, just maybe, he'll never love anyone like he loves Allie. Even though she was out of the picture, she was always out there still, you know. I think he held onto that hope.”
"That's really reassuring, Nat. Thank you. I feel better now," I say with as much sarcasm as I can muster.
Was I really hoping she'd suggest killing Allie? Doing what whoever took her before couldn't do? Because I don't think it would take much convincing to get me to help plan something.
"Look, I wish Jax loved you like you wanted him to. As much as I want that, I can't help but think that maybe it was better this all happened before the wedding."
"Or maybe the marriage would have changed things. Maybe Jax wouldn't have been so quick to leave," I counter.
Pulling away, Natalie glares at me. "Get a grip, Laura. Do you really believe he wouldn’t have left you naked in your honeymoon bed if he got a call saying Allie was alive and back? Really? "
The thought makes my stomach churn. "I mean—"
"Come on! We both know he would have walked out, had annulment papers drawn up and signed before you'd had a chance to change and have a drink on the beach. Or maybe he'd file for divorce. I'm not really sure the logistics of what would constitute an annulment over a divorce," she says.
I open my mouth to respond, but headlights from a car fill the living room. "Shit, they're home already," I hiss as we fly to the floor and army crawl to the back door. "Keep your flashlight off so they don't realize we're here."
Just as we reach the kitchen doorway, I reach out and grab one of the pictures of Allie and Jax before standing and running after Natalie to the back door. I don't know why I grabbed it, but I did on a whim. I have no purpose for it, but at least it's one less memory staring them and everyone else in the face. In a way, I suppose it's my own form of justice. Taking back a little bit of the control that's completely lost to me now.