22. Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Allie
O ne of the benefits of being videotaped having sex is that it helps you learn what to do in the bedroom. It should creep me out, but the truth is, I find it oddly sexy. It's something meant for just the two of us; only our eyes have seen the videos. Recently, I’ve made it my mission to study and recreate a few of the tamer ones.
The desire to be with Jax has only intensified since we first got intimate, and it's progressively gotten kinkier without getting too crazy. He still won't let me go down on him, though. Every time I try, he has an excuse not to. I’ve searched for a video he has of the two of us where I'm pleasing him with my mouth, but there doesn't seem to be one. I'm not sure whether I should be upset or not. Part of me wants to ask Laura if she ever did that with Jax, but I also know that if she confirms it, lie or not, I'll want to strike her.
Sage wasn't wrong when she said I have a jealous streak when it comes to Jax. Just the thought of him being with Laura makes me crazy now. I can't figure out how to explain it to him, though, so we just avoid all conversation about her. I still haven't told him about her coming to visit that day, and I haven't mentioned anything to him about Danny Tomlin, either.
My phone rings in the living room, and I stand, pulling a robe around me to go and answer it.
"You don't need to cover yourself," Jax says with his hands behind his head. "I love looking at you walking around naked."
"I don't know that I want the neighbors to have an opinion on whether or not they do, though," I say back.
"Good point."
Laughing, I hurry to retrieve my phone and see Shields name on the screen. "Hello?"
"Allie? Is this a bad time?"
"No, it's fine."
"I wanted to let you know that we looked into Danny Tomlin."
"And?"
"And, he has an airtight alibi. He had credit card transactions fifty miles away in the window we believe you were kidnapped."
My heart sinks. I'd been so certain of his guilt. It made all the sense in the world. If it was him, this nightmare would be halfway over. "Okay, thank you for looking into it again."
"Allie, are you sure you're safe at Jax's house?"
"What?"
"This is me being a woman more than a cop. Are you absolutely certain Jax had nothing to do with this?"
My jaw drops. "He has witnesses. Plus—"
"There's a hole in his alibi, Allie. And we've had someone tell us that you and Jax were having problems. This person was surprised when he planned to propose after hearing some of the things you'd said."
"Who said this? "
"I'm not at liberty to say."
My mind reels. No one I've met would have said that, would they? "I've gotten different information," I say, “from someone I definitely would have told."
"You're talking about Sage, aren't you?"
"What if I told you I wasn't at liberty to say?"
Shields snickers. "Touché. Just so you know, we also don't have a solid witness who saw Sage at the time you were abducted, either."
"You think... what? Jax and Sage worked together and are keeping a close eye on me in case I remember? If I remember, then I'm actually dead?"
"Just... be careful, Allie. I may not agree with Parsons' methods or how he acts, but I understand what he means when he says people lie. All the time. There are many different scenarios that this could fall under."
"Give me one."
"Sage and Jax could have been carrying on an affair, but they both care enough about you not to kill you. And when you didn't remember anything, it was a perfect excuse to keep you alive."
An affair? Nothing between the two of them has ever come across as anything other than platonic. No, they wouldn’t do that. There’s just no way. "That's crazy."
Jax seemed so genuinely surprised to see me, and then excited. Happy. Also protective. He didn't want me going with my parents. Why didn't he want me going with my parents? Even if I didn't have a great relationship with them, they're still my parents. They would have kept me safe. Did he need to keep me close? Was his protectiveness more out of concern for himself?
No! Stop it. He didn't hurt you. And Sage would never hurt you .
"I do know this much, Allie. Whoever did this is someone you know personally. Since there was no sexual assault in the time you were down there, there was another motive. It's not a stranger; it's someone you likely had in your life back then. Probably someone in your life now."
"I'll keep an eye out," I say. "Thanks for calling."
Hanging up, I sit on the couch and try and put everything together. Jax and Sage have issues with their alibis. That doesn't mean that they did this, though. No, the doctor told me to follow my instincts, and my instincts tell me I can trust them. But it does sound suspicious.
Jax walks out wearing loose-fitting sweatpants. "Everything okay?"
"It was Shields," I say and rub my face with my hands.
"Did she have an update?"
Shaking my head, I sigh. "No, we're still where we were. There was a suspect that seemed promising, but he has an airtight alibi. Back to square one."
"Back to me, you mean," he says and sits on the recliner. "They will never give up on that, will they?"
I decide to come clean. "There's a hole in your alibi, I guess."
"A hole?"
I shrug. "I don't know if someone said they couldn't find you for a short period of time or not. But their theory is that you and Sage were having an affair, and you both cared enough that you couldn't kill me. When I lost my memory, it was enough of a reason to keep me alive."
"Me and Sage?" he asks, his face scrunched up. "No offense to her, but she's not my type."
"I guess someone told them your plan to propose came as a shock because we were having problems."
"Who the hell would tell them that? "
I shrug again. "She couldn't say. It could be my mother. It could be Laura. It could be someone else entirely."
"Come here," he says and holds his hand out to me. Standing, I take it, and I let him lead me into the office where he pulls up the folder of our videos. He clicks a few buttons, and it pulls up the data of the file. "Look at that date."
Sitting on his lap, I read the screen. "September 27th."
"That was the day you went missing. We made this the morning before I planned to propose. We watched it last night. Did something in that video tell you that we were anything but happy and solid and so into each other that some might call it unhealthy?"
Smiling, I shake my head. "No, that video told me I should really let you try a few things because I really, really looked like I enjoyed the things you did."
He bites my shoulder. "You did. Trust me. And we'll get there. We still need a little more time to get to a point where we can read each other to that level,” he says, but I know he means me reading him. He reads me like a book. “But I love what we're doing now. No complaints on my end."
"Mine, either," I say with a smile. "It would help so much more if I just... remembered. Do you have any idea how many times a day I think Please remember to myself?"
"Probably triple the number of times I do," he says.
Turning on his lap, I narrow my eyes. "You think that?"
"Sometimes, when something reminds me of a particularly good memory of us, a time that means so much to me, I will you to remember. To share it with me. And then there are those big moments, the times we shared that mean so much to the two of us, only you don't know they do."
"I'm sorry."
He smooths his hand over my hair. "Don't be. I'd rather have you here with no recollection of our times together than not have you here at all. I just wish they'd start putting more effort into finding the real person who did this. Or at least the house you were kept in. Something."
"Sage and I were good, right?"
"You were like sisters," Jax says. "Are they trying to make you question her, too?"
"I guess she doesn’t really have an alibi. It's really conflicting because the doctor said to trust my instincts, but everything people tell me seems to contradict them."
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip before he bites it. "And what do your instincts tell you about Sage and me?"
"That I can trust you. That everything you say is the truth. I feel a connection with the two of you that I can't quite explain."
"God, I love you."
Smiling, I gently kiss his lips. "You mentioned something earlier about needing to talk to me."
"Oh, yeah. I was practically accosted today for keeping you all to myself. Well, Sage and me. My family's having a barbecue, and they want me to invite you. They haven't had a chance to talk to you since you’ve been back."
"Who will be there?" I ask, suddenly feeling unsure.
Shields did say that whoever did this was likely someone I knew. Someone who was in my life before, and my circle right now is really small.
"Just our friends and my family," he says and wraps his arms around me. "Don't worry. You'll love it."
"Okay. "
I want to tell him I don’t think I’m ready for this, but he looks so happy. So relieved to finally feel like we’re normal again. Maybe this will feel normal to me. If that were the case, why does my stomach feel like it’s filled with jumping beans on cocaine?