31. Chapter 31
Mason
Of all the places to sleep in the house, Lucian’s bed was my favorite.
It was the firmest bed in the house, and he kept his room the coolest. Plus, it was only big enough for the two of us.
Not that I didn’t love snuggling with everyone, but right now, I was huge, miserable, and constantly felt like I was five hundred degrees.
As if that wasn’t enough, Lucian usually woke me up with head before getting a snack for me.
But today, I didn’t wake up to his mouth on my south; instead, it was by him shifting back into bed.
My eyes begrudgingly parted as Lucian slipped between the covers.
He froze the second he noticed me looking at him.
A beat of prolonged eye contact fell between us as he forced a smile.
I could tell it didn’t fully reach his eyes.
“Hey… Why are you up?” he asked as he finished getting into bed.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I replied with a yawn before snuggling up against my husband. “Where’d you go?”
My ear settled on his chest as he worked a hand into my hair, softly playing with the strands in a way that threatened to lull me back to sleep. His heartbeat sounded different right now .
Normally, Lucian’s heart was steady and slow, but now it was irregular and racing like he’d run a marathon.
“Just to the bathroom,” he murmured into my hair before kissing my head.
I wanted to believe Lucian; he’d never given me a reason not to. But his answer seemed rehearsed. Normally, he’d give me graphic details no matter what it was; he never just gave me a location.
My gaze drifted to the window. Through the crack in the curtains, I noticed the sky slowly shifting from purple to salmon.
He was probably still tired; he wasn’t really a morning person.
With that in mind, he and I probably should have tried for a couple more hours of shut-eye. But Rosie had different plans.
My stomach growled as she kicked, and the nausea that came with hunger started to creep in. I sighed as I rubbed my belly. God, I couldn’t wait until being a little hungry was no longer an emergency.
I could have just gotten up and snagged a granola bar from the kitchen. That’s when I remembered something… Lucian and I had yet to be on a formal date since we eloped a few weeks ago.
“Hey, let’s get breakfast,” I suggested, knowing he never told me no.
I knew exactly where I wanted to go, too. There was a diner right on the edge of town that had the best scrambled eggs I’d ever had. They were cheesy and gooey and–
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he admitted, a tinge of vulnerability coloring his words.
I lifted from his chest and focused directly on his face. “What? Why not?”
His fingers stilled as he averted his gaze. Lucian’s throat bobbed as he ran his tongue over his lips, and I worried he was ashamed to be seen with me in public. It hadn’t been a problem up until now… but I’ve also never been this gross.
I could have just voiced that. However, that might have worried him.
He’d sat in on a therapy session with me, and the therapist had mentioned how it seemed like I’d made almost a complete recovery with my disordered eating.
And Lucian was so proud. That’s why I had to hide how I really felt about my body.
“But we haven’t been on a date since we got married,” I reminded him .
“I wanted to take you to the restaurant Sophia and I went to.” A look of annoyance crossed Lucian’s face; it was one I recognized all too well, but I couldn’t figure out why he’d be annoyed.
He seemed okay when I told him I didn’t feel comfortable going so far. What changed?
“Do you not want to be seen with me?” I asked, suddenly afraid of the answer.
Lucian’s eyes snapped to mine, and the annoyance faltered, replaced with something I couldn’t place. Which was impressive, considering I knew Lucian better than the back of my hand.
“Don’t be stupid .” His insult caused my lip to quiver.
Still, I tried to hide it. “If it’s not that, what is it?”
He gritted his teeth as he ran a hand through his hair, looking away from me and at the ceiling. “I just don’t! Isn’t that enough?”
My breathing stuttered as I fought the urge to run from how loud he was. This wasn’t how my Lucian acted, not with me.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” His harsh tone hit me like a punch to the gut. “Drop it.”
But I couldn’t just drop it. So, I pushed myself back just enough to sit up. “This isn’t like you. Lucian, what’s going–”
“Drop. It.”
“But–”
“God–Your dad was right. You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” His snap echoed through the space, and the brave face I’d been forcing fell.
My breathing stilled as I looked Luican over, not sure if I heard him right. Lucian knew the hell my dad put me through, how hard I was still fighting to unlearn everything he’d taught me.
“W-what’d you say?” My voice shook as I tried to make sense of what just happened.
Lucian constantly told me that my dad was wrong, that I wasn’t loud, and that it was okay for me to talk and have feelings. Why would he say that ?
“Seriously, you’re going to cry over that?” Lucian scoffed. “God, you’re such a fucking baby. Just go back to bed.”
Well, I wasn’t going to cry. But then he said that, so now it felt like I pretty much had to, but I’d learned from my dad to never let the person that made you sad see you cry, so I waited for Lucian to roll away before the first of my tears fell.
I kept my hand clamped over my mouth, trying to be quiet so I didn’t disrupt Lucian, but it didn’t work. My vision blurred as painful sobs wracked my chest.
Through the haze of my sadness, I watched as Lucian rolled over, and I sat a little straighter, doing my best to brace myself for him to be mean again. I couldn’t see his expression, but I could feel him reach for me.
“Shit, Mason, I’m sorry,” he soothed.
But it was a little too late. My heart ached in ways that just sorry couldn’t fix. He hurt me, and I didn’t want him to be near me, so I pushed him away.
Quick, heavy steps echoed through the hall, and after a moment, Lucian’s door flew open. I blinked away the tears to see Cameron standing in the doorway, looking angrier than I’d ever seen him. He was probably mad at me for waking him up.
“What the hell is going on in here?” he grumbled, stomping toward the bed.
Lucian parted his lips to speak, but Cameron held up a finger.
“Not you.” His voice was rough with sleep. “Mae, what’s going on?”
I took a couple of sniveling breaths as I rubbed my eyes, trying to buy myself a good excuse for making so much noise.
“Lucian yelled at me.” I whimpered, unable to force myself to lie.
Cameron’s nostrils flared as he pointed toward the door. “Get out.”
I swallowed hard and nodded before trying to get up.
“Not you, Sweetpea,” he said gently before looking at Lucian.
“Uh, no?” Lucian snorted. “I’m not leaving. It’s my room.”
“I ain’t askin’ you.” Cameron clenched his jaw as he pointed to the door. “ Get out. Or else.”
The men locked eyes, and I thought for a minute that Lucian would argue, and this would get ugly. But he seemed to think better of it because he got up with a huff.
“This is ridiculous,” Lucian muttered before shooting me one last look.
He still seemed angry, but in his eyes, I saw something else. Regret .
The second the door slammed, Cameron climbed into bed and pulled me to his broad chest. He was safe and warm, and mine. But even his presence couldn’t destroy the last few minutes.
So, instead of melting into him, I allowed my sadness to overcome me. With my face pressed to his chest, I cried in a way I’d long forgotten I could.
It hurt, both physically and emotionally, but Cameron remained patient, smoothing my hair as he let me sob.
He didn’t tell me I was being over-emotional, even though I knew I was, and that meant more than he could ever imagine.
I just hoped he’d be as patient with Lucian when they inevitably talked about whatever the hell just happened.