32. Chapter 32
Cameron
I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I'd been woken up by Lucian screaming or if it was really all thanks to my urge to protect Mason. But, I was ready to strangle my boyfriend for talking to her like that.
Lucian was a hothead. That’s just how he was.
But he never so much as raised his voice at Mason.
And now that they were apparently engaged, all that had changed.
I’d have killed to be able to marry someone I loved without the cult getting involved.
But here he was, squandering the chance like the asshole he was.
I waited until Mason literally cried herself back to sleep before leaving the room. Part of me thought if I waited, the anger I harbored toward Lucian would dissipate. Instead, it festered like an open wound.
I found him sitting at the kitchen island with two steaming cups of coffee and his head in his hands. His long, dark hair spilled onto the white marble, hiding his face. Thank God, because I wasn’t sure I could take looking at him.
“You proud of yourself?” I asked, filling the stool beside him.
His fingers tightened in his hair as his breathing stuttered.
“No, Cameron.” The raw edge to his voice took me back for a second. “I’m not. ”
My gaze drifted to the analog clock on the wall. It wasn’t even six-thirty, but it felt like today had lasted forever.
“Mason spent the better part of forty-five minutes crying so hard I’m surprised she didn’t throw up.” I reached forward and grabbed the bigger of the mugs, not really caring if it was meant for me or not. “Doctor said she’s supposed to avoid stress right now… It’s bad for the baby.”
“I know, Cam. I know.” His voice broke a little more. “I fucked up.”
“Fucked up?” I snorted. “You hurt Mason.”
“I know,” he repeated. His red-rimmed gaze snapped back to mine as his shoulders shuddered. “I hurt her. I’m her safe person, and I hurt her. I love her more than anyone else in the house, and I. Hurt. Her.”
The pain in his voice slightly softened my anger. “If you love her so much, then why’d you scream at her?”
His lips rapidly opened and shut, almost like he needed to tell me something, but his body wouldn’t let him. His lips pressed into a thin line as he swallowed hard. “I don’t know,” he whispered.
“Bullshit.” I leaned in closer. “You ain’t dumb.”
Lucian used his palm to wipe away what remained of his tears before clearing his throat. “I’m serious. I don’t know. It just–I–I don’t know.”
I chewed on my cheek to prevent myself from saying something I didn’t mean. “So, you think Mason deserved to be screamed at? You just don’t know why?”
“Don’t twist my words,” he snapped. “I said I don’t know why I did it, not that she deserved it.”
“No, but that’s sure as hell what it sounded like!” And if that was his line of thought, she deserved a hell of a lot better.
“I don’t need this,” he grumbled before standing.
“Don’t need what? The truth?” I tried to follow him, but he stopped on his heels.
“To feel worse about this !” He spun around to look at me.
“Oh, so you get to pick how bad you feel, but Mason— “
“I’m trying to make it better!” he argued. “I’m going to the bathroom, getting her breakfast, then pouring my heart out and hoping she fucking forgives me!”
My anger slowly morphed into unrelenting frustration as Lucian stared at me. His shoulders slumped slightly as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Mentally, I counted to ten, trying to give Lucian space to collect himself before I kept pushing.
Once he was ready, he straightened his posture before meeting my gaze.
“Have you ever loved someone so much that it physically hurts?” he asked.
The vulnerability in his voice caused me to pause as I mulled over his question. I couldn’t even fathom loving someone so much it hurt. I didn’t think love was supposed to hurt. “No, I haven’t.” I scratched my neck as I spoke.
“Well, I have,” Lucian continued. “I love my kids like that, and I love Mason like that. The thought of hurting any of them makes me sick.”
“Then why’d you make her cry?”
“Because I’m a dumbass!” he shouted. “I’m fucking stupid. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
His voice echoed through the area, causing me to take a step back.
That wasn’t what I wanted. And, to be completely honest, I had no idea what I actually wanted out of this.
The silence between us was suffocating, and I was more than a little relieved that this interaction was over.
Still, I wasn’t done talking about this.
And I knew exactly who I wanted to continue this conversation with.
I paced the creaky floors in Sebastian’s kitchen while he sat at the dinky kitchen table with his laptop, a cup of coffee and the world's worst-looking omelet.
“I just don’t get him!” I exclaimed after recounting everything. Honestly, I expected Seb to feel the same.
Lucian made Mason cry, and though I didn’t know much about Seb, I knew he loved Mason. Hearing about how Lucian hurt the woman he loved should’ve pissed Sebastian off. Instead, he seemed more focused on his computer.
“Seb–Are you even listening to me? ”
His icy gaze drifted over to me as he picked at his mess of eggs, spinach, and what looked to be absolutely no seasoning. “I’m listening,” he said evenly, lifting the fork to his mouth. “I just don’t see why this is important enough to warrant engaging in conversation with you.”
My eyes must’ve nearly bugged out of my head because the second he finished chewing, the way he looked at me changed. Slowly, Sebastian grabbed a nearby paper towel and wiped his mouth.
“Look, I hate Mason being upset just as much as the next person,” he began, balling up the napkin before setting it beside his coffee mug. “But, she’s thirty-odd weeks pregnant. It’s incredibly easy to make her cry–”
“So you’re gonna take his side over hers?”
“... No?” Sebastian looked at me like I was about three different shades of crazy. “I just think whatever weird, old-timey instincts you have are working overtime.”
“I don’t have old-timey instincts.”
“Okay, Daddy .” He snorted into his coffee.
Frustration simmered just below my surface as I shot Sebastian a glare. “This ain’t a joke.”
“I am well aware that it’s not a joke.” Sebastian let out a resigned sigh as he slowly sealed his laptop, folding his hands over the silver case. “But, Lucian isn’t being abusive–Hell, I’d barely consider that abrasive.”
“What the hell do you mean? He literally screamed at Mason, and she didn’t do a damn thing!”
“Cameron, have I ever told you that before I got mixed up in all of this–” He gestured to his laptop, and instantly, I realized he meant before he killed Mason’s mom. “That I volunteered in a battered women's shelter?”
For a second, I thought he was messing with me, but that’d be a terrible thing to joke about. “I thought men weren’t allowed to help at those.”
He watched as I folded myself into the chair across from him. “Typically, no. But, I was a teenager, I was non-threatening, and I also double-checked to ensure my presence wouldn’t be triggering to any of those in need of assistance.”
“Why are you tellin’ me this? ”
“So that you are aware of the fact that I can easily distinguish between abuse and a simple argument. What Lucian did was wrong, but, unfortunately, it’s nothing that would require me to intervene.”
I leaned back in my chair, suddenly not liking how rational Sebastian could be. “But, don’t you want her to leave him and marry you?”
This seemed like the perfect time for him to throw his weight around and get that.
“I do. But I also want the knowledge that she picked me because she wanted me, not because my brother is a dumbass.” He paused to take a sip of his coffee.
“I’m painfully aware of the fact that Mason loves Lucian just as he loves her.
And because of that, while I’m willing to mend a broken heart, I’m not going to pull the two apart just because I can. ”
My mouth went dry as I stared at him. I never expected a creep like Seb to have morals, let alone good ones.
“What?” he asked, turning back to his breakfast.
“It’s nothing just….” I was finding things to like about Seb. Things that didn’t involve his appearance. “Forget it.”
“I already have,” he assured me before opening his laptop.
That was my sign to leave. He wanted to work, and God knew with everything going on, I needed him to work and work fast. It felt like he was the only one who could take down Dale… but if Dale was actually done with me, there was no harm in continuing the conversation.
“So, do you always eat like that?” I extended my finger toward his plate.
“What, like I don’t want to die early?” His eyes flickered to me for just a minute before returning to his screen.
I scratched the back of my neck, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious about my choice of conversation.
Then I realized there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with my question.
“Well, no. But, I don’t think I’ve actually seen you eat anything other than chicken, vegetables, and rice… and now eggs.”
“I eat sweet potatoes and other protein sources, too,” he assured me. “Can I ask why my diet is of any concern to you?”
His question caught me off guard. I didn’t take Sebastian for one to get so defensive over a simple question… but it also wasn’t any of my business .
“Just makin’ conversation.”
“I’m sure,” he chided. “If you must know, my diet is so I can maintain my appearance, which is clearly something you know nothing about.”
His lip curled in disgust.
“Ya know… I’m kinda gettin’ bored of you callin’ me fat and ugly. You’re gonna need to get a new insult soon.” I softly elbowed him as I spoke.
Sebastian huffed as he slammed his laptop closed again, and I fought the urge to laugh at his irritation. “All I’m saying is my appearance hasn’t been the subject of your ridicule, so maybe you could stand to learn a thing or two from me.” His holier-than-thou tone seemed fake.
“Of course, I ain’t gonna pick on ya. You’re handsome.” I kept my tone plain as I grabbed his coffee, taking a long pull before giving it back.
He and I had now slept together twice, so my actions didn’t seem out of line. That was until his eyes widened like I offended him.
“Excuse me?” His tone pitched up at the end as pink crept up his neck.
That’s when I realized I didn’t offend him. I probably embarrassed the poor guy. “You’re a handsome guy.” I doubled down. “Why else would I sleep with you? Sure as hell wouldn’t be for your personality .”
“I just… I’m not used to hearing that from anyone other than Mason.” Sebastian looked away from me as a tinge of sadness filled his words.
“…Really?”
I figured Seb heard that all the time. He nodded. “She was actually the first person to call me handsome, well, other than Sophia’s mom.”
My brow furrowed. “Really?”
He hesitated for a moment before nodding.
“When Mason moved to America the first time, English wasn’t really her strong suit,” Sebastian explained as he took his cup back, bringing it to his lips but not drinking.
“After about a week of living here, she called me handsome, and it took me a while to realize she had been doing it because Sophia’s mom did it. ”
A small smile sprouted on my lips as I thought about what it must have been like back then. I’d have killed to be a fly on the wall during that time .
“But, after about a week or so of greeting me with handsome , she realized I had a real name,” he finished, finally sipping his coffee.
“That’s cute,” I said before I could think better of it. “Did she stop after that?”
The hint of a flush I noticed earlier became undeniable as Sebastian tensed. “No.”
“… Does she still call you that now?” If she did, I hadn’t heard it.
He nodded. “Mostly if she’s in a good mood or wants something.”
“Sex?”
“Sex,” he echoed. “But I can tell she means it, so hearing it from her just kind of does something for me.”
He shifted in his chair and I had a feeling that if I kept this conversation going, I’d end up a lot closer to Seb than I wanted, so I excused myself and apologized for disrupting him. But, the second I left his apartment, I wondered if getting to know Sebastian would be as bad as I thought.