41. Chapter 41
Sebastian
Being gathered in the living room with Sophia and Cameron was not how I wanted to spend a significant part of my day. Mason clearly needed me which meant every waking moment was to be spent by her side, unless I was smoking or answering a work call in regards to transferring my case to my superior.
S.H.A.D.E was not at all happy about me stepping back from the case when I was so close to the end, but my family would always come first. And, if Mason were to die, be it by her own hand or someone else’s, I’d be as good as dead myself. Thankfully, I didn’t need any help to keep her alive.
Cameron’s looming figure spread shadows around the room as he paced back and forth. It was a habit of his I had noticed. He was a nervous speaker when not behind the podium of a church. Probably because he knew no one was interested in what he had to say.
Sophia was settled in the armchair just barely out of my reach.
Her baby blue’s followed his every movement.
She was in between meetings and her platinum hair was piled on top of her head in a messy but professional bun.
The juxtaposition of everyday, ditzy, smiley, and dare I say fun Sophia, and the corporate slave persona she donned during the work week was almost fun to follow.
But it was intriguing to know two worlds could co-exist in such a flawless manner.
I wondered if Mason ever yelled at her for not being herself. Probably not.
“Cam, I love you, but you’re making me dizzy,” Sophia confessed, crossing her arms under her ample chest.
The buttons on her blouse strained and heat assaulted my face. I quickly looked away to save her decency. What did one even do with breasts that large? That’s when a thought hit.
I was fairly certain Sophia had been hitting on me the last week or so… But what was I to do with a woman like her? Mason was elfin and easy to toss around, and Cameron… Well, he was a mistake . At least that’s what I told myself.
If Sophia wanted to sleep with me, I wouldn’t say no, especially if Mason was allowed to join us. But, there was just so much more to Sophia, and I’d need to do some research if I wanted to know where to put my hands.
“Sorry,” Cameron breathed.
Oh shit, they’re talking again .
I shifted on the velvet of the couch and devoted my attention to the conversation rather than my dirty thoughts.
“I was talkin’ to Mae, and she’s feelin’ really down about herself,” he continued, now fully drawing my attention. “I think it has something to do with everything going on with Luce–”
“We’re not lifting his punishment just because Mason’s sad,” Sophia snapped.
The edge in her voice was a little thrilling, I’m sure it’d have been scary if it were focused on me. But, I liked how stern she was with my brother. God knew he needed it.
“No, I agree,” Cameron said. “But, I was going to propose we do a little somethin’ else for her.”
He slowly turned away from us as he spoke, shifting his mass from one leg to the other. What could possibly have a man as shameless as Cameorn Cole so shy? Also, what could he want from Sophia and I but not Lucian?
Sophia made a dramatic show of lifting her watch to her line of sight. She tapped on the small square framed in pink silicone before lowering it back down.
“You need to spit out whatever we’re doing, I have another meeting in five minutes.”
Her tone dripped with a certain type of authority I didn’t know it could. Was she in charge of Cameron as she was Lucian? It seemed to be fitting, but I never really saw Sophia as the dominant type.
Cameron’s chest swelled with a breath, and I thought for sure he’d chicken out. But, eventually he spoke. “She wants sex.”
Finally, I had something to add to the conversation. “She and I have sex at least once a day.”
Sure, it was pretty vanilla for her standards, but I wasn’t sure what else to do with her so frequently. Plus, she orgasmed every time, and that was all that mattered, right ?
Cameron’s lips pressed into a thin line as he watched me for a moment. Did he forget he was the one who put a stop to he and I fucking? What was it he said? That he couldn’t do it anymore? That my body wasn’t enough for him? Something like that.
Which is when I remembered I hadn’t given him the cigarettes I’d purchased for him yet, which meant he still technically held something over my head. God dammit.
“She uh… She’s been reading a book–”
“The one with the aliens on the cover?” I assumed that it was some sort of science fiction novel.
Cameron almost choked as he nodded. “It’s got her feeling adventurous .”
What type of adventure could she want from a book like that? Someone to lay eggs inside her chest? No thanks .
My potential disgust rendered me mute, but something about this had caught Sophia’s attention.
“Ooooh, tell me more,” she purred.
“Don’t you got a meeting?” Cameron asked .
She waved him off as everyday Sophia finally broke through her corporate facade. “It can wait a little. This is important.”
Maybe it was for the best that I didn’t fully understand women.
“Well, her fantasy started with someone.” Cameron’s shoulders squared as he closed his eyes, it was like he was unable to look at me specifically during this. “Touchin’ her with a toy while she reads her book.”
“Go onnnn….” Sophia sounded enthralled with that idea, and I neglected to see why Cameron needed multiple people just to do that.
Was he not smart enough to work a vibrator?
“From there she said somethings that would make a prostitute blush.” Cameron’s laugh came too easy considering it followed a statement that wasn’t funny. “What it boils down to is she wants multiple people, she wants it rough, messy, and almost completely against her will.”
Why would she want something like that ?
My mind instantly filled with memories of my previous relationship with Alex.
I’d feverishly refused to touch him while claiming I was saving myself for marriage, and he’d tell me that relationships need intimacy to exist. And, though I didn’t want to give up my virginity to anyone other than Mason, at the time she wasn’t an option, and I did like Alex.
So, he’d coax me into jerking him off and occasionally blowing him, but afterwards I’d always feel weirdly dirty in a way I could never get clean. Even if my words told him I consented, mentally I never did.
And I couldn’t fathom why Mason would ever want to feel that way. But, it seemed like I was the only one existing in that train of thought.
“That sounds fun,” Sophia chirped before standing up. “You two go get the stuff, fill me in on the plan when you get back, and I’m down for whatever.”
She kissed Cameron and waved at me before heading up the stairs, and I did my best to hide my discomfort.
I loved fucking Mason, and I was interested in sex with Sophia.
Hell, I even enjoyed my time with Cameron.
There was no reason for me to say no , but I couldn’t shake the strange, and dare I say icky, feeling sticking to me like a second skin .
Cameron watched her walk up the steps before turning his full attention to me. He extended a finger toward the empty spot beside me.
“Ya mind if I sit with you?”
I gestured for him to go ahead despite the fact his presence felt more than a little unwelcomed.
He gave me a thin smile as he filled the space beside me.
His brobdingnagian figure sunk onto the couch, forcing the cushions to dip under his weight.
The action drew me ever so slightly closer to him, and I felt a little claustrophobic.
“So, Cameron Cole. To what do I owe the pleasure? Are you going to try to prod into my deeper thoughts and force me to open myself up to you?” I hid my anxiety under a bravado of annoyance.
“Nah, if you don’t like me like that, I respect your decision.” He waved me off. “But, whether you meant to or not, you’ve already opened up to–”
“No, I haven’t,” I interjected.
God, the audacity of this man.
“Ya have.” There was a quiet confidence in his statement. “You talked about your ex a bit. Something about unwillingly having sex… That wasn’t your idea, was it?.”
My heart clenched and I cursed my loose lips. That most certainly wasn’t anything Cameron needed to know, and I was an idiot for telling him that. But, now that the air was already filthy with his accusation, it felt like I had nowhere to hide from a truth I’d never spoken to anyone.
“No, it wasn’t. But I agreed to it, and Alex and I were in a relationship, which makes it fine.” I kept my tone controlled and measured so I could appear angry instead of ashamed.
Slowly, he put his hand on my knee. Cameron always had a kind quality to his face, like he would always be understanding and nonjudgmental. Maybe that’s why I felt comfortable enough to share secrets like that with him.
Perhaps he was sufficient to lead a cult. His charisma seemed to more than make up for his cloyingly obvious lack of intelligence.
“Consent ain’t consent if it’s forced. And if it was, you never deserved to be treated like that.” His words caused my world to stop spinning .
“Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?” I snapped before practically leaping to my feet. “I literally bedazzled my penis to stop him from touching me, you have no idea what I’ve been through .”
He stayed seated with compassion oozing from his eyes like some foreign disease. His lack of reaction infuriated me more. I needed a fight, or even a reason to yell at him and blow off some of this steam.
“That’s why I’m giving you all the control. Whether or not you want to go further in whatever we are is in your hands, but even if we go back to housemates who occasionally insult each other, I care about you, Sebastain.”
The anger boiling under the surface cooled just at Cameron’s statement. Why did he have to have this power over me? He didn’t actually care about me. No one other than Mason did.