49. Chapter 49 #2
I bit back the urge to fire back. Hopefully, he and I would have a good number of years left. We could poke fun at each other later, now wasn’t the time. We finished our walk to the truck in silence, and I opened the passenger side door for him.
He braced himself on the door frame, angrily tossing his crutches toward the back.
“I don’t need your help,” he grumbled, hoisting himself into the seat.
“I know you don’t,” I admitted as he buckled himself in. “But, I like offerin’ it.”
Sebastian sighed as he looked at me, his gaze softening just enough to let me know his anger wasn’t meant for me; he just didn’t have anywhere else to release it. He gave me permission to shut his door if it’d make me feel better, and I did before jogging around to my driver’s seat.
Sebastian wasn’t big on car rides anymore, so I knew I had to tell him everything before we left the parking lot. I took a deep breath, wrapping my fingers around the steering wheel as I arranged my thoughts.
First things first, I needed to make sure he knew how I felt.
“Can we talk about us?” I asked softly.
His head lazily lolled in my direction as he rested against his seat. “What? Are you going to break up with me because of my crushing inability to put out?”
Sebastian didn’t normally offend me anymore, but something in that statement cut me deep .
“Actually, it’s the opposite,” I admitted, reaching over to put my hand on his shoulder. “I know the timing is bad… but I think I love you.”
“You… love me?” Shock overcame his exhaustion as he stared at me with wide eyes. “Like love-love?”
I nodded.
Sebastian stiffened as a shade of pink I hadn’t seen for a while crept up his neck, flooding his cheeks with a glow that almost made him look like the man I’d begrudgingly fallen for.
“I–Really? Why?”
“Why not?” Despite the looming conversation, I smiled. “You’re smart, you’re handsome, you’re protective, and also, you’re you .”
His lips parted as his brow furrowed.
“I–when?”
My shoulders raised in a shrug. “I ain’t really sure.”
Somewhere within the last month or so, my view on Sebastian shifted. It didn’t happen at once; if it had, I’d have fought it. Instead, it crept up on me. All I knew was that my love for him was the best kind.
Unexpected, reckless, and undeniable.
The pink of his cheeks morphed into crimson as he looked down at his lap before mumbling a barely perceivable. “I love you too.”
And that’s when I knew I had to get his goat.
“What d’ya say?”
His head snapped up, and his eyes narrowed in a familiar glare.
“I said I love you too!” he snapped. “What, are you too old to hear?”
“Not at all.” I chuckled, scratching my beard. “Just wanted to make you say it twice.”
Sebastian huffed as he crossed his arms. “Seriously? That’s the only reason you’re wasting our time?”
“I don’t think telling you I love you is a waste of time.” This sort of meaningless conversation felt good, but it wasn’t a feeling I could hold on to. “I actually have something else I want to talk to you about.”
“What? That you want to kiss me?” He scoffed .
And, to be honest, I did. But, with Seb’s history, I wasn’t comfortable being the one to make that move.
“It’s about Mae,” I said, my voice steady despite what was about to come.
His expression shifted from mild annoyance to dread as he sat a little straighter. “What about her?”
I took a deep breath, trying to steel myself for the conversation about to happen. Instinctively, I offered Sebastian my hand, and he took it. My thumb ran across his knuckles as I savored his last moments of being blissfully unaware.
“She ain’t gonna wake up.” Even just saying those words left me hollow.
“ That’s not funny ,” Sebastian warned.
My eyes started to burn, and I had to look away from him as an all too familiar ache infested my chest like termites in an old house.
“I know it ain’t.”
Sebastian’s grip on me tightened, his nails pressing into the back of my hand.
“Then make another joke.” His voice cracked.
My tongue swiped across my painfully chapped bottom lip. “She’s brain dead, Seb.”
“No, you’r e brain dead,” he sneered. “Mason is a fighter. She’s been starved and abused, and–”
“And she won those battles,” I interrupted. Hearing about how many hurdles Mason had overcome didn’t make this any easier. “But, she’s tired, Seb. She’s fought for three weeks–”
“Then let her fight for three more weeks!” Raw desperation ruled his words.
“Seb, it ain’t about time…. There’s nothing left for her to fight for; keeping her on life support won’t bring her back.”
He yanked his hand from mine, and I looked back to see anger blazing in his eyes.
“She said I loved her like someone in her books. She compared me to someone who sacrificed themselves to save the one they loved. What does she need?” He looked around the truck cab like it’d yield answers I couldn’t. “It doesn’t matter if she needs money or organs; I’ll make it happen.”
It scared me a bit to know he wasn’t fully exaggerating .
“Seb, she’s gone.” Just saying those words felt like being stabbed in the chest. “Her body’s here, but she’s not .”
His eyes filled with tears. “You’re lying.”
He held my gaze, and I slowly shook my head.
I’d said just about everything I could, and none of it worked.
But something in the way I looked at him must’ve made it click because, after a moment, the light in Sebastian’s eyes completely vanished .
I tried to probe him to speak a little more, but he had completely withdrawn into himself, leaving me to wonder how well he’d actually do when we pulled the plug tonight.