49. Chapter 49
Cameron
Three weeks later…
Insurmountable joy and just as powerful grief were never feelings meant to be mixed. Something between that combination and the lack of sleep little Miss Rosie-Posie forced on me made time completely incomprehensible.
Doctor’s appointments, physical therapy for Seb, and check-ups for baby girl were the only things that helped me keep my days straight.
For the first week, it felt like Sophia, Lucian, and I were drowning, and I’m pretty sure Sophia vented to her moms because, on the eighth day, Heather and Victoria appeared.
They said it was only until Mason woke up…
but I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she never did.
It felt like I’d just drifted to sleep when a tiny cry greeted me from the bassinet I’d put beside my bed.
My eyes begrudgingly cracked open, and I looked over to see Rosie’s little fists flailing and her face red as she wailed like someone pinched her. Slowly, I sat up, my body protesting every motion as I crossed my legs and reached into the bassinet.
“Shhh. Papa’s gotcha.” I yawned, patting her butt as I supported her neck and brought her close to my face .
Her beady eyes squinted as we stared at each other. Lucian said it was normal for preemies to cry more and that the twins did it, too, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Rosie was grieving, processing an emotion far too big for her to feel.
“You miss your mama too, don’t you?”
Rosie grunted in response before tipping forward and latching onto the tip of my nose.
Despite my exhaustion, I smiled.
“All you do is eat,” I teased as I pulled her away from my face. “No wonder your mama was always hungry.”
Just the mention of Mason made me want to bawl like a baby, but I didn’t think Rosie should see that, so I had my anguish with a chuckle and offered her the tip of my finger. That way, she’d have something to suck on until I made her a bottle.
Just as I stood, the door creaked open, and Sophia popped her head in.
In all the years I’d known Sophia, I’d describe her as put together. Her hair was always neat, her nails done, and she always seemed to know exactly what to do. Right now, however, she looked just as rough as the rest of us.
Her platinum hair was pulled into a messy bun, and for the first time in our relationship, she had a dark circle under her eyes.
The sweatshirt she had on was not only stained with milk or spit up, but I’m fairly certain it belonged to either Lucian or Sebastian, which left it to hug her figure rather than hang off her like she liked.
“Is she hungry again?” Sophia asked, her blue eyes pinning on the baby in my arms.
“When is she not?” I challenged as Sophia stepped in, revealing she was one step ahead of me.
In her hand was one of the strange breast-like bottles Mason insisted we’d need. I breathed a sigh of relief and extended a hand to take it, but Sophia shook her head.
“Let me take her.”
I hesitated a moment, feeling a little guilty.
We’d pretty much segmented ourselves into very specific jobs.
Heather and Tori took care of the twins and made sure we all remembered to eat.
Lucian had the unfortunate duty of being Mason’s medical power of attorney, and because of that, he was tasked with finding reasons not to pull the plug.
Sebastian needed to focus on his recovery, and I was completely engrossed in Rosie.
It was only right, seeing as I was the one who helped make her.
Sophia had become supportive of each of the individual tasks, and I didn’t envy her for that.
That’s why I’d been so reluctant to give her Rosie unless I needed to shower or use the bathroom. “You sure?”
“Mhm.” She motioned for me to hand her the baby. “She’s a sweet girl, and I need a cuddle break.”
Reluctantly, I handed her my daughter. Sophia settled onto the bed, resting her back against the headboard as she offered Rosemary the bottle. She latched on easily, her little hands wrapping around Sophia’s fingers as she greedily sucked down her milk.
“She looks so much like Mason,” Sophia said, unable to look away from her.
My lips rolled into a thin line as I crawled onto the bed, resting my head on Sophia’s lap as I nodded. My breath hitched as I fought the urge to sob for the millionth time this month. Somehow, Sophia managed to get a free hand and used it to play with my hair.
“Luce is at the hospital now, right?” The first of many tears broke through, stinging the raw skin on my cheeks as they rolled down. “How is she? Is there any good news?”
Sophia’s hand stilled as an oppressive silence filled the room.
“Do you know how, for a while, Mason’s fingers would twitch, or her heart rate would pick up when she heard our voices?” Sophia started.
For the first time in weeks, I felt hopeful. Those were all good things, which meant Mason could be sitting in the hospital now, talking to Lucian. Everything would be okay, and she’d come home and love on Rosie.
But, the way Sophia didn’t continue slowly drained that hope.
“Soph?” I prompted, hoping she’d just gotten lost in feeding Rosemary .
I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell by the way she inhaled that she was on the precipice of tears.
“She’s not doing that anymore.” Sophia started. “And Lucian talked to her doctors this morning, and they’re saying–” She choked, causing her speech to stop. “–they don’t think she’s ever going to wake up.”
The air around me froze, jolting me into a sitting position just so I could look at Sophia better. “No, Mason’s stubborn. This ain’t enough to end her.”
“Cameron.” She whimpered my name as fat tears rolled off her face and onto Rosemary’s bottle. “I know this is hard, sudden, and strange. But Lucian doesn’t want to prolong her suffering. And I agree.”
I shook my head, not at all liking what Sophia said. “No. Mason’s a celebrity. She has money, and her case is in the media. Someone has to be figuring something out. She’s not meant to die like this.”
Sophia’s tears fell faster as her shoulders shook so violently I feared she’d drop Rosie. She didn’t fight me as I took the baby back. Instead, she clung to me, her salty sadness saturating my shirt.
Rosie squirmed as I held her to my chest, desperately fighting to find some semblance of normalcy among all the heartache. My sobs mingled with Sophia, and we must have been way too damn loud as Heather cracked the door open, peering in for a moment before joining us on the bed.
“Give me my grandbaby,” Heather commanded.
And I didn’t fight. I loved my daughter, but I needed the comfort that could only be found in the arms of my lover. I handed Rosie to Heather, and I expected her to stay in the room, joining Sophia and me in this all-consuming sadness. Instead, she left just as quickly as she came.
I pulled Sophia so close that my body shook from the sheer strength I used to hold us together.
“This isn’t fair .” That was all I could manage.
But the second the words left me, I realized just how little of a right I had to cry.
Sure, I’d gotten Mason pregnant, but I’d only known her for a few months total.
And while Mason changed my life in ways I could barely comprehend, I didn’t have a claim on her, not in the way everyone in the house did .
She was Lucian’s wife, Sophia’s partner in crime, and Sebastian’s soul mate.
She’d been living in their minds and hearts for over a decade .
And while I could kick and scream and pitch a fit about just how awful I felt, it had to be a million times worse for them.
But I also genuinely couldn’t fathom feeling worse than I did right now.
“Does Seb know?” I choked out, trying to prepare myself to be an anchor for everyone else when I felt like a pebble.
Sophia shook her head and wiped her eyes, composing herself just enough to speak. “No. Lucian freaking hates him, and I have no idea how to even start that conversation, considering he literally hasn’t spoken in weeks.”
I swallowed my misery and squared my shoulders. He may not have been talking to Sophia, but he and I spoke almost every night. “I’ll tell him.”
Her bloodshot eyes widened as she took me in. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I’m takin’ him to his PT today, I’ll talk to him after.”
Sophia seemed to collapse under the weight of relief, leaving her to fall onto my shoulder. “Thank you, Cameron.”
We stayed like that for God knows how long.
She cried, and I denied my tears as I patted her back like I had Rosie’s.
I knew he’d probably take it the best from me, but that didn’t make it any easier.
I just had to hope Sebastian could hold it together, but I had a deep-seated feeling that if Mason died, he’d never be the same.
We stepped out of the physical therapist’s office and into the dirty snow that hadn’t melted since the car accident. I offered to help Sebastian to the truck, but he pushed me away, electing to force himself through the ice on his crutches.
I needed to tell him about Mason; he deserved to know what was going on. But the selfish part of me needed to make sure he’d be okay. I needed to make sure he felt supported like he was okay coming to me, and that his life didn’t need to end just because Mason’s did .
“You’re gettin’ better at using those,” I commented, pretending like I wasn’t one wrong move away from grabbing him so he didn’t fall over.
His icy eyes shifted toward me. Recently, they’d seemed more gray than the piercing blue I’d come to adore.
Sweat beaded along his brow. It was hard to find the man Sebastian was in who he was presently.
His once bulging biceps and broad shoulders had thinned out because of his inability to exercise and his refusal to eat.
His once well-tailored clothes now hung from him, almost mockingly.
“Shut the fuck up,” he strained out.