Chapter 13 #2
I’d started my day in his arms, and now we were arm’s length apart. I was unsure of how to act around him. What seemed so easy and carefree that morning felt hard and complicated that afternoon.
Maybe there’s a perfectly logical explanation—
“Did you know?” he asked with a quiet sharpness that took me by surprise.
I know he’s not asking me what I think he’s asking me.
I gave him a look. “Did I know what?”
“Did you know who I was when you took the job?”
I made a face and took a step back. “Obviously not.”
Confusion creased his forehead. “Then how did this happen?” He said it more to himself than to me, but the insinuation got under my skin.
“I don’t know.”
“You had no idea who I was?”
“No!” I scoffed loudly, frustration getting the best of me.
“Okay. I know you’ve already signed everything this morning, but you can still break your contract. It’s not too late. If that’s what you want to do, I could get you out of it.”
It wasn’t just my personal goals of growing my platform and making more money that made me sign the RLF contract.
The opportunity to grow my brand and reach even more big-bodied women was a huge deal.
I wasn’t just thinking about myself; I was also thinking about my impact.
So for him to even suggest that I void the contract was outrageous to me.
I made a face. “You mean the contract I turned down other brand deals to sign? This opportunity is a great move for me and my career. Why would I have to be the one to lose out?”
“I’m not saying you have to. I’m just…” His sentence trailed off as he appeared to be warring with himself. “Nina…” He chewed his lip for a moment before gesturing between the two of us. “Did you plan this?”
“Did I plan this?” I let out a short, dry laugh as I regurgitated the question in bewilderment. “Are you serious?”
He blinked. “Yes.”
My eyebrows shot up. It felt like I was in the twilight zone, because there was no way he was standing in my home accusing me of using him for the job.
“No, I didn’t plan this,” I snapped. “Did you?”
The crease between his eyes deepened. “No.”
“This is your business, but you didn’t know who was being hired to promote it? Shouldn’t you know that information?” I stepped forward. “Did you know who I was when you got me off at the party? Or when you whisked me away yesterday?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“So, you see how ridiculous it sounds for you to ask me if I planned it or if I knew?”
He laced his fingers and sat them on top of his head. “What else am I supposed to think, Nina? It looks like—”
“I don’t care what it looks like,” I interrupted. “I care what it is.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Then what is it?”
“Well, first and foremost, I didn’t seek out this job.
Remedy saw me at an event in New York and sought me out.
” I put my hands on my hips. “Second, I thought Remedy ran things. She was introduced to me as the person in charge. I had no clue you were part of the company, let alone the CEO. Third of all, what would I gain from keeping this from you if I knew this was your company? This opportunity is a huge deal for me, and I wouldn’t squander it by playing games with the person who is cutting the checks.
That doesn’t even make sense.” I shook my head.
“To come here acting like I was trying to date you for this opportunity is complete and utter bullshit.”
His head rocked back, and he scrubbed his face with his hands.
When he finally looked at me again, his features had softened and there was a resigned look in his eyes.
“You’re right,” he sighed. “You’re right.
I’m sorry. I just…” He squeezed his eyes shut.
“I just don’t understand how this happened. ”
“I don’t understand it either.” I threw my hands in the air. Shaking my head, I walked past him and took a seat on the couch. “Today was my first day. I didn’t know what you did for work, so when Sasha said we were meeting with executives, I didn’t expect you to be one of them. The main one.”
“Yeah.” After a few seconds, a small smile pulled at his lips. “It was all over your face.”
My lip curled slightly. “Your eyes bulged out of your head when you saw me.”
“I’ve never been so shocked in my damn life,” he admitted, unbuttoning his suit jacket.
He joined me, taking a seat on the other side of the couch.
“I believe you didn’t know. I’m sorry I came at you like that.
My gut told me you didn’t. But my head has been all over the place and”—he lifted his shoulders—“I had to ask.”
“It’s a wild situation, but to think I was plotting on you is just…” I shook my head. “What have I ever done to you that would make you think some shit like that?”
“Charge it to my head, not my heart. I couldn’t make sense of it and I just…” His sentence trailed off. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better.”
“Yes, you should’ve. But how did you not know they hired me? Don’t they have to run these things by you?”
His phone rang and he looked at it but didn’t answer.
“Yeah, typically. Remedy’s the chief creative officer and I gave her the go-ahead to expand the marketing within the parameters we set. There were four models selected before I went into my last meeting on Friday. I was scheduled to meet them Monday. That’s why I was so thrown off.”
Before I could respond, his phone rang again.
He let out a deep breath. “I need to take this.”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“Remedy?” he answered, causing me to glance at him out of the corner of my eye. “Yeah, I’ll check the email. I’m well aware. I’ll call you back.”
The call took thirty seconds, but afterward, he remained focused on his phone as he started typing and clicking. When his jaw tensed, I broke the silence.
“Everything okay?”
He cleared his throat before turning to me.
“Remedy directed me to an email Lori sent on Sunday. It was an update about the brand ambassadors. When I’m off, I’m off so I”—his eyes dipped to my lips momentarily as he licked his—“enjoyed my weekend. I intended to read it this morning. But I went to go get my blood work done before heading to the office and didn’t get around to it. ”
“What does the email say?”
“That they’re bringing on a fifth brand ambassador. Nina Ford. Plus size model with five hundred thousand accounts following, two million followers across all platforms, and high engagement.” He looked over at me. “I’m guessing this is a different account than the one I’m following.”
I nodded. “You have my personal account. It’s not linked to my business account.”
“Of course,” he muttered. He shook his head before tossing his phone to the couch cushion between us. “Shit.”
I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything.
He exhaled roughly. “You know how this looks, right?”
“How does it look?”
“It looks like I fuck my employees. It looks like an HR embarrassment and a PR nightmare. It looks like everything I’ve worked my ass off for going down in flames and me getting roasted on social media as one of those predator bosses.
It doesn’t matter what the truth is, what it looks like will cost me. The collateral damage—”
I waved my hands to stop his rant. “Russ.”
It hadn’t dawned on me that his energy when he walked in was rooted in fear. The heightened emotions in his words and the look on his face when our eyes met made the connection for me. He had always seemed so fearless, and he lived in the moment. I’d never seen him spiral.
It was fascinating.
And humanizing.
And real.
“What it looks like will cost us both, ” I uttered. “You’re not in this alone. We both have to figure this out.”
He shook his head. “You won’t lose everything.”
“I’d lose money. I’d lose my integrity. I’d lose my reputation.” I counted each loss with my fingers. “It’s not just you who has something to lose.”
“I’m not going to let that happen to you. I’ll make sure of that.”
A slow smile pulled at the corners of my mouth.
Even with the cracks in his perfection, he still managed to be perfect.
Ignoring the flutter in my belly, I nodded slightly. “Okay.”
Looking at me with fierce intensity, he turned his body slightly to face me.
“But I need you to understand I spent the last fifteen years building my business. The next few weeks are the most important for my company. There’s too much money and too many people tied to these next few moves.
” He rose to his feet. “So, it doesn’t matter what the truth is, as soon as the public finds out I’m involved with an employee, it won’t be long before they say it was sexual harassment—or worse.
There’s no coming back from that. I’d lose everything. ”
Staring up at him, I stood.
His expression conveyed the same apprehension and worry that coated his words.
And I wished there was something I could say to ease the creases from his forehead, the frown from his lips, and the tension in his jaw.
But I couldn’t deny that he’d lose more than me.
I couldn’t argue that the impropriety could possibly destroy him, his company, and all the opportunities.
My fingers tingled as I itched to reach out for him. But he was staring straight ahead at the artwork on the wall, avoiding eye contact.
He cleared his throat. “We can’t do this anymore.”
The floor fell out from under me.
Well, damn.
My stomach twisted. Even though I’d just said the same thing to Aaliyah earlier, hearing him say it was an unexpected gut punch. When I hypothetically mentioned it would be the only solution, it hurt. But the reality of ending things with him rocked me.
“We can’t let anyone know that we know each other,” he continued.
“I, um… yeah,” I agreed softly. “There’s a lot at stake. It’s the only way to protect us both.”
He didn’t say a word.
His chest rose and fell as he stared straight ahead. “This could ruin me,” he uttered after a minute.
Me too.
He swallowed hard before turning to look at me. “I have to meet with the inspector before my flight. But I’ll make this whole thing go away. Everything will be fine.”
“It’ll be like it never happened.”
He stared at me with a blank expression on his face, so I elaborated.
“With no evidence of a connection between us, there would be nothing they could find suspicious. It’ll be like it never happened.”
He shifted his eyes, remaining quiet for a moment.
“I think Remedy is… suspicious,” he admitted, sliding his phone into his pocket.
His sentence hung in the air as I wrapped my mind around what he had said.
No wonder he was so freaked out.
Staring at him, I willed him to say more words. When he didn’t continue, I whispered, “What?”
“After the meeting, when it was just the two of us, I asked her about you. She made a joke about the way I looked at you.” He ran his hand over his beard. “About how I seemed particularly interested in you. Those were her exact words: particularly interested.”
What does that mean?
He wasn’t telling the story fast enough.
“Is she going to take her suspicions to HR?” I asked as he headed to the door.
He shook his head, stopping at the front door. “No, she wouldn’t do that.”
I wiped my palms down my thighs. “So, if we do our part and pretend like we don’t know each other, her suspicions won’t be validated and we’ll both be protected.”
And employed.
His hand was on the doorknob, his body still facing me. “Right. We just have to play it cool.” His eyes dipped to my lips and lingered for a beat too long. “And keep our distance from one another.”
Blinking up at him, I felt the pull deep within. It was the first time I’d been around him, felt the pull, and actually resisted it.
We couldn’t continue and we had to keep our distance. I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew it was too big of a risk. But it didn’t feel right.
“Well, Mr. Long”—taking a step back, I stretched my hand out to him—“it has been a pleasure getting to know you this summer.”
He slipped his hand over mine, gripping it firmly. “The pleasure has been all mine.”
Hearing him say “mine” flashed me back to that morning. It was only a few hours ago that he’d asked me to be his.
And I actually said yes!
Now we were pretending that never happened—like none of it ever happened. I swallowed hard, ignoring the burning sensation in my throat.
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. Bringing the back of my hand to his lips, he kissed it softly.
A chill ran up my arm and then down the rest of my body.
“A fantasy in the flesh,” he murmured.
I couldn’t respond. I didn’t trust myself. Anything I would’ve said would’ve resulted in me with my mouth open. Either a sob would’ve come out, or his dick would’ve gone in. Neither needed to happen, so I swallowed my feelings.
He walked out of my place and left my body humming, wanting. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything but stand in the doorway and watch him walk out of my personal life.
When he was thirty feet away and there was enough distance between us, I could breathe. He snatched the ticket from under his windshield wiper blade and shoved it into his pocket. Just as he was about to climb into his car, I yelled to him.
“How do you know for sure Remedy won’t say anything?”
“Because she’s my sister,” he called back.