Chapter 28 #2
I stroke one hand along his forearm, watching the tips of my fingers trace the veins that pop against creamy skin, traversing the curvature of his well-formed biceps. I wish he’d say something, do something. I don’t know how to recover the mood we’d first entered the room in.
“I didn’t mean to make it hard on you by telling you about my ex.”
A calloused palm cups my jaw, holding me captive while he studies me like I’m an unfathomable mystery. “You deserve to feel comfortable and heard, Alia.”
“But you’re hesitating,” I complain, feeling like this failure, too, is mine.
“I haven’t been in this situation before so yeah, I’m treading slow. I don’t want to hurt you. Will you trust me?”
“I already do.”
And it’s not a lie. I’ve never trusted another man as easily as Cal.
I’ve never felt as safe as I do with him.
It’s been this way since the first time we met and that feeling has only deepened with how accepting he’s been tonight.
I showed up wanting physical intimacy and derailed it by getting emotional. Yet, he’s been nothing but kind.
Another man might’ve called me a tease. Or, worse, told me this was more effort than I’m worth. But not him.
“I want to be here with you. I won’t break if you touch me, Callum.”
Maybe I’ve finally said something right because his gaze grows less concerned and more focused. His eyes flicker over my face, the tightness in his shoulders draining away.
“Yeah? Can I touch you here?” He bops the tip of my nose, surprising me thoroughly. The anxiety that’d gripped me before disintegrates instantly, the relief causing me to giggle.
“What about here?” He pokes my cheek and my smile widens.
His fingers trace my lips, then my jaw, leaving behind tingles.
With care and deliberation, he drags the tip of his nail down my neck, stopping right at the U of my scooped neckline, ready to tuck into my cleavage.
My nipples are so hard under the light padding of the dress he’d be able to see them if the lights were brighter.
“Why’d you stop?” I eke out breathlessly. His heightened color and unsmiling mouth gives me hope he’s as desperate for me as I am for him.
“Do you want me to continue?”
“Yes.”
He tugs at the tie behind my neck, watching as the gathered material covering my upper body slithers away. A muffled ‘Christ’ tumbles out of his mouth, his eyes locked on my naked chest with such intensity, my legs start to quiver.
“What if I want to touch you with my mouth? Will you let me?”
“O-okay.”
“If I want to put my lips right here,” he asks, drawing a thumb over one stiff nipple in a move that makes my belly swoop low. “That’s okay?”
I shudder, gasping when he pinches me.
“Use your words, Tots, or else neither one of us gets what we want. Is that clear?”
A wave of unabashed desire washes over me at his commanding tone.
My lagging brain glitches furiously, trying to make sense of why his bossiness makes me wet.
His keen eyes track every expression on my face, making sure I’m comfortable with what he’s doing.
And I am. I’ve never craved something this deeply.
“Yes. You can put your mouth there.”
“Good,” he croons, his thumbs swiping under my breasts while his palm molds the sides of my body and pulls me flush against him, fitting me right over the unmistakable evidence of his erection. “You gonna be good for me?”
“Yes,” I promise.
“How do you usually orgasm?”
His question makes me gape at him like he’s grown a third head.
“Fingers? Toys? Does penetration work for you or clitoral stimulation?”
My face goes up in flames. I’ve never discussed such things before.
“Cal.” My voice is lost to shame but his determination to figure me out is as sobering as the realization that this is something I should be aware of.
“How do you make yourself come?” he asks again.
“I rub myself.” I force the words out through the curtain of mortification that closes in on me.
“Do you get off with only your fingers?”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to see you do that in front of me someday.”
My entire body goes aflame.
“Huh?”
“Oh yeah,” he smirks. “I can imagine it. You in my bed, legs spread, those dainty fingers playing with your pretty pussy as you make yourself come for me. You’d be a vision.”
Vesuvius has nothing on the heat pulsing through me. Cal’s skill in subverting my mind from shame to sensual indulgence is astounding.
“We’re not having sex tonight, Tots. But I’m going to make you feel good, okay?”
This is already the best I’ve felt in a very long time, so it takes no effort to believe him. I nod, dazed.
His hands slide up my thighs and slip under my dress to cup my ass.
My bare ass, because the lingerie I’m wearing hardly qualifies as an undergarment.
I don’t know whether I should thank or curse Irsia for convincing me to be bold and purchase a dress where you need to skip regular panties and bras to avoid lines.
He squeezes and palms my flesh, spreading my cheeks apart, and instantly, all sane thoughts flee my scrambled mind.
His breath warms my skin as he holds himself a few centimeters from me. I’m panting, aroused, my mind frenzied with need.
“What are you waiting for?” I whisper, desperate for him to lead the way.
“For you to kiss me.”
His words light me up and I react by slamming my mouth against his.
My fingers sink into his luscious hair, gripping it harder when his hold on me tightens.
The wet glide of his tongue against mine, the dominant thrust in and out of my mouth, paints erotic pictures of what is yet to come.
My hips hitch desperately, seeking the friction of his jeans against my soaked thong.
The pitch of fever within me burns bright when he pushes the bottom of my dress up to grip my hips, nudging me back and forth in a rhythm that has me moaning and whimpering against his mouth.
His lips sear a decadent path down my neck before hovering over my dusky nipple, teasing it with little licks and blowing cool air on it until it hardens to a sharp point aching for stimulation.
I clutch at his neck, waiting for his next move. My body arches up as his hot mouth closes over me, my heartfelt cry of relief puncturing the space around us.
“Cal, yes!”
He suckles me, simultaneously playing with the sensitive bud of my other breast. Each teasing tug sends a needy rush of molten heat down my spine, settling right at my core.
Move for move, he matches me as I grind against him, his head held to my chest as I work furiously to reach a pleasure hovering just out of reach.
My fingers dig into his shoulder when he reaches between us to fondle my covered clit. His thumb presses up and the room spins.
My mouth falls open in a loud, sobbing gasp as my orgasm overtakes me too quickly, leaving me trembling in his arms. I stay slumped, trying to catch my breath while he rubs my back, helping me recover from the sudden high. I’ve never orgasmed this quickly. I didn’t think it was possible.
“Jesus,” Cal rasps after a pause, cutting into my thoughts. “You’re stunning, Alia.”
Cradling my jaw, he swipes a kiss across my mouth, so soft and sweet that it makes me want to cry. I’d denied myself the possibility of this when I let Namik take advantage of me.
Despite Cal’s compliment, something dark and ugly twists in my chest, a mixture of anger and shame. His words should’ve soothed me. But, on the heels of an explosive orgasm, my first at the hands of a partner, the bitter realization of how deeply I’d failed myself plagues me.
My cruel brain runs reels of Namik berating me for being unsatisfying in bed. Blaming me for not being able to orgasm with him, therefore ruining it for him as well.
Do all virgins overreact like you?
You’re not in pain, quit exaggerating.
Don’t make any noise, I don’t like it.
Get on your knees. It’s better when I don’t see your face.
Fuck, I can’t come like this. This is your fault!
My inexperience and discomfort had felt like a shameful curse.
Cal made me come with his clothes on while my ex-husband hadn’t even bothered to try. My tormented mind spirals. If Namik could affect me this much when I didn’t even like him, allowing my emotions to run rampant with Cal will destroy me.
I scramble to draw a boundary to protect myself.
“Don’t say things like that.”
His brows knot at my command.
“The words,” I explain weakly. “I know what this is between us.”
Head cocked to the side, he asks, “What’s that?”
“Temporary.”