Chapter 51
ALIA
My feet are frozen outside the bar that’s become quite familiar to me.
The noise of revelry and raucous enjoyment is audible even through the closed door. The Ironhearts are meeting at Block on Wood tonight. It’s been three days since their crushing defeat against Anaheim and everyone’s decided it’s time to quit moping.
Or at least, mope together. Not sure how much of that will happen once Cal and I walk in holding hands. Yes, we’ve been sneaking around, but it’s time to tell everyone.
And Rohan.
Oh my god, Rohan.
Breathe, I remind myself. Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing.
“What’re you doing?” Cal’s amused voice interrupts my respiratory exercise. I pause, my mouth pursed like a fish.
“Just breathing. Could you distract me please?”
“Nervous?”
My heart hammers when I look down and see our laced fingers. “A little.”
“Wanna hear more good things from D?”
It’s impossible not to chuckle at his unexpected offer. It feels like a different woman who once complained about all the terrible things starting from a D, right at this very bar.
I can hardly recognize the person I’ve become. While I don’t miss who I used to be, I’m thankful for her.
“Dazzle me,” I tease, causing Cal’s green eyes to twinkle happily. He slips an arm around my waist and draws me closer, one large palm cradling my face with a gentleness that never fails to make me swoon.
“D is for how desperately in love I am with you.”
I hum when he brushes a kiss between my brows, my anxiety draining in the comfort of being with him.
“D is for the dates I want to take you on before you leave for India.”
His nose bumps against mine, making me giggle.
“D,” he murmurs, his voice dropping an octave to a pitch that causes my nipples to harden instantly, “is for the devotion I plan on showing you in the bedroom tonight.”
His lips have barely caught my low moan when we hear a furious bark behind us.
“What the fuck!”
Gasping, we break apart and spin around, coming face-to-face with Rohan.
“Why the hell are you two kissing?”
I take a step toward him, one hand raised up imploringly. But he’s not looking at me. His gaze locks on Callum as he jabs a finger accusingly in the air.
“You fucked around with my little cousin? After I told you she was off-limits?”
“Little!” I snap in outrage.
Somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I note the entrance door opening and thudding shut.
Theo’s concerned voice calls out our names, but I don’t dare to move my focus away.
I’d rather not have an audience, but it’s unavoidable given Rohan’s looking like he’s three seconds from throwing himself at Callum.
“I’m not fucking around with her, Moore,” Cal snaps, his tone full of ice. “Hear us out.”
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Rohan shakes his head disappointedly. “Was it the challenge? Is it because I said you can’t?”
“You said what?” My screeched question is drowned out by Cal’s barked response.
“Have some respect when you speak about her. She’s not a challenge or a bet I’m chasing.”
“I’ve seen you with other women this season,“ Rohan hisses, marching up to us.
“You’ve seen what I showed you,” he snaps, his voice taking on the timbre of an avalanche ready to crack. “I haven’t touched another woman since I met Alia.”
“Am I supposed to believe that?”
“I don’t give two shits what you believe as long as she does.”
“Stop it! The both of you!” I shout. I grab Rohan’s arm, forcing him to look at me. “Do you believe in me?” I ask, my heart in my throat. “Or do you think I’m such a mess I only make bad decisions that screw up my life?”
“Al—”
“I’m not a failure, Rohan.”
“I never said you are!”
“Then stop treating my choices like they are a mistake,” I beg, my voice catching unintentionally. “And if I am making mistakes, maybe be supportive instead of making me feel like I can’t come to you in case things go wrong.”
“We’re not gonna go wrong!” Cal exclaims at the same time Rohan says, “Of course you can come to me!” They both exchange exasperated looks, blaming the other for my emotional outburst.
Something passes between them because a moment later, Cal straightens.
“I love her,” he announces, just as two more Ironhearts step out of the bar. “I won’t quit loving her just because you disapprove, Moore, so do what you need to do to get over it and get on board with the fact that I’m dating Alia.”
Rohan’s jaw ticks, his teeth grinding hard enough that I wince.
“Treat her right?” he bites out.
“I’ll always put her first.”
Rohan nods once, stiffly, his shoulders tense.
“I trusted you and you lied to me.”
“I’m sorry. I tried to stay away but, fuck, it almost killed me, man. I’ve never felt about any woman the way I do about Alia. But I breached your trust—I get that. I hope I can earn it again.”
“Where do you want it?”
My cousin’s question confuses me as I flick a gaze between him and the man I love.
“Want what?” I ask, but Cal seems to understand anyway, signaling to Novak. To my surprise, Theo comes and maneuvers me a couple feet away.
“What’s happening?” I glance up at him in worry, but he grins.
“They’re making up,” he snickers. “Don’t worry, Al, it’ll be over before you know it.”
What? I don’t have time to voice the question because Cal points to his left cheek, the one I’ve kissed countless times, and says to Rohan, “Make it quick.”
I yelp, throwing off Theo’s arms when Rohan knocks Cal to the ground. Dropping to my knees, I inspect Cal’s face. My fingers tremble, too afraid to touch his cheek. It’s flushed red, which serves to throw flint into my protective fire. Jumping to my feet, I swerve around to face Rohan.
“How could you hit your friend?” I scold, slapping his shoulder. “You could’ve hurt him!”
“I’m hurt too!” Rohan barks, his voice cracking at the end. “He lied to me. You lied to me.”
And that’s when I see the hurt simmering beneath his massive, bearlike exterior.
“Ro. I was afraid of what you’d think.”
“I’ve only ever wanted to protect you, Aloo. I didn’t do a good enough job when you were married to that asshat and—”
“You’re the best big brother I could’ve ever asked for. But I need you to let me learn my own way instead of pushing me inside a protective bubble that doesn’t let me explore who I can be.”
“I wasn’t!”
“Yes, you were,” I insist, keeping my tone even and kind.
“You appointed yourself my protector and added it to your list of responsibilities. You hovered anytime we were together—as if you were getting ready to take a bullet for me. I love you, Rohan. I’m so lucky to have you.
But seeing how worried you got over the little things made it hard to make mistakes around you.
Not because I thought you’d judge me, but because of how much it affected you when something went wrong for me. ”
“I want you to be safe.”
“I know. But safety doesn’t equate to happiness. Nor is it freedom. I can be safe inside a cage, but that’s no way to live, is it?”
A rough, tortured sound rumbles in his chest as he frustratedly rakes a hand through his hair. “You’re. . . happy?”
“For the first time in a long time, I am. I know what I want. It’s like a fog’s been lifted. I’m not angry about the past, or drowning in self-doubt. I’m learning to trust myself again and that’s because of Cal.”
“I didn’t do anything,” my boyfriend declares, much to my consternation. “She’s giving me credit for her own work.”
“Callum,” I scold, glaring at him for being unhelpful.
He pins me with an unrepentant look. “It’s true. This growth is because you pushed through your own fears. I can’t take any credit for it.”
Hands on my hips, I tip my chin up and get in his face. “I’m not looking for permission to credit you. If I say you helped me, then that’s that.”
“Are you both done yet?”
Rohan’s irritated question has heat flaring up my skin. I’d forgotten momentarily we weren’t alone.
His gaze shifts between Callum and I, the tightness of his expression easing a little. He doesn’t look pleased, but his eyes have lost the sheen of dismay that wrecked me. I take his hand in mine and the twisted knot in my chest loosens when he doesn’t pull away.
“If it makes any of this better, we were planning on coming clean tonight. But I’m sorry we went behind your back. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”
His lips tighten, but a moment later, he gives me a terse nod. “I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to hide from me.”
“I’ll take that exact apology, too,” Cal mutters, holding a pack of ice to his cheek that Theo procured for him. “Why the fuck did you have to hit so hard?”
“You said make it quick, not painless.” Rohan’s dry reply eases my nerves and I burst into nervous laughter. Cal spears me with a look of betrayal and I giggle helplessly, relief pulsing through me in steady waves.
“I get punched for you and you laugh? At least kiss it better, Tots.”
“Absolutely the fuck not!” Rohan declares. “You keep your hands and lips away from her in front of me.”
Cal arches an insolent brow, his answer clear to all.
“Let me hit him again,” Rohan begs, turning green at the idea of having to see me kiss Cal.
“No, once was enough.” I pat him soothingly and his stiff posture loosens. Cal’s warmth covers my back as he comes to stand behind me, his hands resting at my waist. Rohan’s eyes drift from me to his friend, truly taking us in together.
Inexplicably, his scowl softens.
“You love this dumbass, too?”
There is nothing in my tone, or in the way I lean into Cal, that leaves any doubt about my feelings. Still, I say the words.
“I love him, too.”
Rohan runs a palm down his face, a heavy sigh escaping him. He scratches his short beard, glancing around everywhere but at us before finally giving up.
“I hope you’re happy together,” he mutters, still sulking but I don’t care—I throw my arms around the mountainous human that he is. Within moments, I am enveloped in the warmth of his hug as he brushes a kiss on my head.
“Love you, Aloo,” he says gruffly, clearing his throat like he has an itch he can’t get rid of. “I’ll kick his ass anytime you need. Doesn’t even have to be a real reason.”
I am torn between getting emotional and laughing when Rohan releases me, pointing to where Cal is still holding me.
“Let me hug my cousin without you hanging on, you fucking doorknob.”
Cal shakes his head. “Not gonna happen, we’re a package deal. You hug her, you hug me.”
“Fuckin’ weirdo,” Rohan grumbles, spinning around and stomping off into the bar without taking Cal up on his offer of a hug. The rest of our friends follow him, Theo winking at us before all is quiet once again.
I hope Rohan will find it in himself to forgive us for hiding our relationship for as many months as we did. It might take time, but his acceptance tonight is a step in the right direction.
I sigh when thick arms encircle me, securing me against a solid chest.
“What’re you thinking about?” Cal murmurs, brushing his lips to the side of my temple.
“Rohan. I feel bad for how he found out. Think you guys will be okay?”
“He’ll come around. I’ll grovel. I can be pretty fucking persistent when I put my mind to it.”
I chuckle, twisting in his arms to check the darkening bruise on his jaw. He presses his cheek into my palm, greedy for my affection.
“Still want me to kiss it better?” I ask, drawing my thumb delicately over his jawline.
“I demand it.”
“Well, look at that,” I coo, rising on my tiptoes to meet his eager mouth. “Another D word.”