Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
VIOLET
The woman staring back at me in the mirror looks like a lost little girl. When did my eyes start sinking into my skull and my eyebrows go unplucked? Maybe when I started spending all waking hours with tears in my eyes and my mind dragging me through the guilty pits of hell.
"I'm a mess," I whisper. The faucet can't drown out the exhaustion in my voice. I don't mean physically. I mean I am completely and utterly tired of trying to figure things out.
I feel like I should be able to pinpoint the exact moment everything took a turn. Was it when Jamie answered my phone and spoke to my mom?
Honestly, I think it was before that. My walls had begun to crumble with each interaction I had with him. Cassidy also chipped away at the boundaries around my heart with her hard truths.
I could be angry with all the shit being thrown at me, but all I feel is overwhelmed.
Not to mention the mugging. I'm worried it might be causing me to slip into panic more easily.
Like it triggered my nervous system and made me vulnerable.
There's been no time or space in my mind to figure it out though.
Wishing I would have begun to change a long time ago doesn't help. But maybe if I had the chance to find the new me, I would be stable enough to deal with Ellis and Nate coming back into my life.
Scoffing at myself, I cup the cool water in my hands and splash my face. What a stupid thought. Ellis and Nate aren't here for me. They aren't part of my life. The only reason they're even talking to me is because they like Jamie. And I can't blame them.
A knock sounds behind me, and Jamie's voice rings out. "My love?"
Immediately, more fucking tears fill my eyes.
Why is he so nice, so loving? I know he thinks Nate and Ellis are the reason for my emotional torment, but they aren't even half of it.
It's Jamie and all the changes. I want him so badly, and I've fought it for so long that now I'm trying to embrace him while fighting against my past. It's too much.
The ball of emotion that halts my voice suddenly bursts in a growl of frustration. Whipping around, I yank the bathroom door open and glower at the handsome man who thinks he can steal my heart.
I'm not ready to admit he owns my heart, body, mind, and soul.
"Stop calling me that," I snap.
My chest is heaving and my breasts feel a little heavy. There. Yes. This is what I want. A fight. A sexy fight. Jamie raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow which just pisses me off more.
Why am I standing here in a pair of jeans and a lame top when I should be in my favorite black lacy lingerie? Why am I self-conscious about my eyebrows?!
"Stop calling you what?" Jamie says, but his voice is too soft. Too understanding and gentle.
"My love. I'm not your love." Although, the ache in my heart when I deny his claim tells me otherwise.
His eyes flare, but he hesitates, eyeing me like he can see right through my anger. "I think you like it. Just as you like it when I call you Sweets."
Don't stomp your foot. Don't stomp your foot, I tell myself, though the urge to throw a tantrum builds as the gleam in his eyes brightens.
"Right, Violet?" Jamie prompts me to talk, but I'm sick of talking.
All the warmth that surrounded my heart when he called me my love minutes ago travels south. My foot lifts; instead of responding by stomping away from him, my feet carry me into his arms.
"V?" Jamie grunts out as I collide with his chest.
Needing him to shut up, I stand up on my tingling tippy toes and kiss him. As if in muscle memory, my arms rise and wrap around his neck, not allowing him to pull back. I need this. I need him.
He responds with so much passion I have to force my feelings down even harder. Just sex, I remind myself while the angel on my shoulder rolls her eyes.
Jamie's hands are heavy on my hips as he yanks my center right into his growing erection. Delighted, I grind against him and moan a high-pitched noise that begs for more.
I may have been crying moments ago, but now I'm ready to weep for a whole new reason. Except it's not new. Jamie does this to me frequently. He plays with my heart just as often as he plays with my pussy.
Lust drives my actions, leading me toward my next mistake. I release his neck to grab the hem of his shirt. My body immediately misses the warmth of his hands as they snatch my wrists.
"Violet, no."
Annoyance comes roaring back to the surface, and in its wake is a fresh dumping of tears that I can barely hold at bay. "Why?" I grit out.
Jamie looks pained as he peers down at me. He's trying to read my mind or at least pick up on where my change in behavior came from, but this is new territory for him. Heck, it's new for both of us. All I know is I need him to take my thoughts away and burn them in a—
"Because we need to talk, Sweets," Jamie says, trying to slam the door on my libido.
Shaking my head rapidly, I deny his claim. "No. Jamie, I can't talk anymore. I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of all the thoughts inside my head. Please just make me feel something good."
His posture melts ever so slightly, but still he hesitates to give in to me. I'm very aware that I could play this man like a fiddle to get what I want—his cock—but I'm trying to change. I want to be better.
"But are you okay?"
Holding in my laughter is hard, and my lips twitch anyway. What a dude thing to ask. "No, you sweet, sweet man. I am not okay. Which is whyyyy," I drawl, pressing my pelvis into his again, "I need you to make me feel better."
Okay, maybe I manipulated the conversation with my body like I usually do, but damn it I want him to press me into his bed and have his way with me.
Taking a chance on something I rarely do, I drag my nails across his scalp and tug his hair tie free. Curly brown locks tumble around his jaw, and as I shimmy forward, his long hair helps to block out the world.
Jamie shudders and dips his head so his nose tickles mine. "As soon as my cock is inside of you, Violet, you aren't leaving."
"Fine," I agree immediately. I've already broken my rule about spending the night here, might as well get over the fact that Jamie has my heart firmly in his gentle grip.
He pulls back an inch and looks me in the eye. "That had more than one meaning, but we'll go with just sleeping over for now. Let me know if you lift the talking ban," he teases, then seizes my lips in a kiss that steals any response I might have had.
My tummy swoops and flutters as he drags me into his bedroom.
Stumbling around his sure feet, I laugh with surprise and happiness as he manhandles me.
Fingers graze the underside of my tits, making my nipples tingle and beg for him.
His teeth nip at my lips like he just can't help himself from taking a bite of me.
He's passionate, and judging by the hard outline of his dick, he's excited. But of course, Jamie focuses on me. On swirling his tongue around mine the way I love and tickling the side of my neck one moment, then grabbing my ass the next. He's riling me up, chasing my pain away.
Jamie always gives me what I need.
My jeans are shoved down my hips, and as soon as the cool air breezes through the gap between my thighs, I shiver.
He drops to his knees, already mesmerized by the wetness he aches to taste, but I need more than his tongue right now.
I need his cock deep inside me, punishing and thick.
I need him to stretch me wide and demand I remember him for all eternity.
I really need him. So while he’s busy undressing and putting a condom on, I rush away with my pussy pulsing. I launch myself onto his bed face first, ass up, ready for him to fuck me into oblivion.
"No!" Jamie growls just as a slap rings out. Soon after, a stinging sensation lights up my ass cheek. "Naughty."
With more force than I was ready for, Jamie flips me onto my back and slaps my bare pussy. "AH!" Fire encompasses my clit, forcing the ache to burn brighter and steal my vision.
Fingers engulf my throat, making my eyes fly open in surprise.
When my eyesight clears, I lock eyes with Jamie's intense ones.
"This first time tonight may be hard and fast because you clearly need me to fuck the feelings out of you, but don't get it twisted, my love.
You'll feel me in every single part of you.
For that, I need your eyes and your luscious lips. "
He grins all kinds of naughty and proud of himself. "Both sets."
"Idiot," I snort, but I'm quickly cut off with his thumb being forced into my mouth and him demanding I suck while he releases his heavy cock.
"Fucking hell, Sweets," he groans, swiping the head of his dick through my folds. My eyes roll into the back of my head at the simple contact only for his thumb to dive deeper and gag me in warning. I love when he stuffs my holes full and commands my body with his desire.
With my eyes solely on Jamie's face, I pay attention to the euphoria that alters his features into a look so tense yet relieved. I barely register the burn of his cock stretching me open—my body is accustomed to his at this point.
"Touch your clit before I lose my fucking mind, Violet."
Gasping around his thumb when Jamie presses his free hand on my stomach so I feel every inch of him, I do as he says. Giving me three hard and fast thrusts helps my nipples scrape against my bra. Then he slows to a pace that most definitely tortures him, but he knows it's what I need to orgasm.
Too much stimulation just distracts me from my task. I like to feel every drag of his cock inside of me as my walls begin to ripple and tug on him like he can't ever get close enough.
His hips swivel and his abs ripple. I don’t know where to look, but the longer I eye fuck his body, the faster my fingers rub my clit.
Needing more, I reach a touch further so the pads of my fingers thrust between my lips and warm my clit. The drag of my touch gives me the perfect friction while Jamie pulls my bra down with one free hand and plucks one needy nipple.
"Fuck, I'm gonna suck on these later. I'll mark them and maybe fuck them. Look at them," he growls, and I have no choice but to follow his instruction. Looking down, I watch my tits bounce. It's sexy watching my body as I flick my clit and hold Jamie in my pussy.
"Fucking look. Your nipples are practically aching for my tongue and these?" He pulls his thumb from my mouth to grab both of my boobs. Pushing them together, he groans. "These are begging for me to slip my slippery cock between them and fuck 'em like I do your tight cunt."
Oh wow. I'm a panting mess, the slick sounds of his cock dragging through my wetness a hot soundtrack to his imagination. Biting my lip, I can picture it. The way he would glide between my boobs and reach for my mouth.
Jamie's hips snap forward like he can't control himself. It pulls my focus, but it feels incredible. "And these," he hisses, plucking my lip from between my teeth, "would love for me to splash my cum all over them because they're slutty enough to take anything they'll get."
Gasping, I arch my back, but he quiets me by stuffing his thumb back in my mouth. Like it always is with Jamie, my orgasm climbs so fucking high I feel like my muscles won't ever relax again.
This time is like no other. Well, that's not true. Because this time, we lock eyes as my pussy convulses around his hard length after a few minutes of his patience and my intent to reach my highest peak.
"Mhmmm," he rumbles, then pulls his thumb from my mouth. "Now fucking scream, my love."
I do him one better. I scream his fucking name like he deserves. "JAMIE!"