Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
VIOLET
“Oh."
Jamie literally chokes and tries to step away from Ellis who won't release him. As if I just walked into a lion’s den, I slowly hang my purse on the hook by the door. Jamie's state of undress is the main reason I close the door, but I'm not sure I'll be staying.
"Should I go?" I ask, taking in the three of them. Sheesh, the sexual tension in here is wild, and I have to admit that seeing Ellis with his hands on Jamie makes me a little squirmy but also sends my anxiety skyrocketing.
Jealousy, uncertainty, and horniness make my hands tremble ever so slightly. One thing I miss the most about the bubbly girl I used to be is how confident I was.
If there weren't feelings involved, I'd probably whip my shirt off and seduce them into action. Except, that's not what I'm doing because I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Jamie, and all the love I had for Nate and Ellis never received its closure or found an end.
Thus, I'm freaking out on the inside. I don’t know where I stand with any of them, especially when I saw the way Jamie melted into Ellis before he noticed me.
Maybe I should go...
"NO!" Jamie shouts, panic lighting up his eyes as he tries to get to me. Although I know for a fact he could break free from Ellis' hold, he just doesn't want to.
"Alright," I drawl, attempting to pull up my big bitch panties and deal with this. While I remove my jacket, I question what I just walked in on. "What exactly am I looking at here?"
"Ellis pushing boundaries." Nate throws Ellis under the bus so easily.
I nod, understanding as I kick off my shoes. "Jamie likes to do that too."
Bantering with Nate relaxes me just a bit, but I'm still nervous as heck. Fake it ‘til I make it.
"Shit," Ellis grunts, and I watch in fascination as he thumps his forehead onto Jamie's shoulder. He seems so comfortable when he looks up at the man I'm falling in love with. "They're always going to gang up on us, aren't they?"
What an oddly intimate statement. Always?
"Probably," Jamie murmurs, looking down at Ellis with a frown on his face. Their lips are inches apart, and just as I think they're about to kiss, my shuddering breath snaps Jamie out of his trance.
"Fuck," Jamie literally shakes himself, which dislodges Ellis. "V, it's not—"
"What it looks like?" I finish for him, damning the ball in my throat for making my voice sound so tight. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
Jamie looks worried as he walks toward me. "Nothing was—"
"Going to happen?" I finish for him while eyeing his boner.
Nate snorts and struts into Jamie's living room. Why does he look so natural in this space? "Does she always complete your sentences?"
Jamie ignores the man and stares at me. Thankfully, he's stopped coming toward me, and hasn't touched me. I feel a little nauseous about the idea of him touching me right now since Ellis just had his hands on him.
Yet, I'm also a little annoyed he won't touch me.
I raise a brow and cross my arms. Careful not to wrap them around my waist so I don't look as insecure as I feel, I cock my hip to hide behind my sass.
"Violet," Jamie starts, shifting toward me. I'm not surprised when his hard cock slips through the crack of his towel. "Fuck. Be right back."
As Jamie rushes down the hallway to his room, Ellis watches him go. "Did you see how red his face was?" Ellis asks me with a shit-eating grin on his face.
My heart twinges, but I force my arms to relax. Ellis is like a dog with a bone. If he so much as sees any kind of feeling on my face, he will sniff out its origin and demand its context.
"I did," I confirm, avoiding his probing gaze. Instead of taking Nate's offer of sitting on the couch beside him, I take the solo recliner by the window.
Their gazes stay on me as the minutes go by, but neither man says anything. Shocking, especially for Ellis. Hopefully it looks like I feel indifferent as I watch the snow fall through the orange light of the street lamps.
Jamie's steps sound hurried, drawing my attention to the room at last. "Thank fuck you're still here," he breathes, rushing to me.
Tingles race from the kiss he places on my forehead to the tip of my nose. Blinking, I find myself studying his facial expression as he pulls back and seats himself on the armrest beside me.
Walking in, I immediately felt like an intruder. Like a fourth wheel. Jamie's actions just now rewire my brain, offering comfort and the reassurance I need that I still have a place here. With him.
"Alright," Jamie announces, voice hard as he acknowledges the other two. "I'm going to talk first, then you may have the floor."
Ellis and Nate nod, but I'm frowning. "What about me?"
"You just sit there and look pretty," Ellis replies with a wink.
"Damn it," Jamie mutters and takes over before I can spit something rude. "Ellis. Less condescending. Especially when I know you're itching to hear what she has to say to you."
Ellis blinks. "I was just teasing."
Nate sighs and grabs the back of Ellis' neck. "Not the time for jokes, remember? We have a lot of work to do before you can try to make her laugh."
"Sorry, Violet. Please interrupt us at any time. I really was just trying to lighten the mood. I'm nervous as hell and—fuck, now I'm rambling and ruining everything. Somebody else go."
A short while ago Ellis made fun of Jamie's blush; now he's the one with fiery red cheeks and shifty eyes.
My gaze is slow to move to Jamie even as he starts talking about how he didn't invite the other two over.
There's a new complexity in Ellis that wasn't there before.
He always felt things the most out of the three of us, and his coping mechanism always resorted to rambling or blurting things without thinking.
That hasn't changed, it seems, but Ellis has an edge I'm not used to, and it scares me.
I never know when he'll snap at me or accuse me of something.
Maybe it's not fair to him considering this is only the third time I'm seeing him, but he's made an impression.
Not a good one. His lack of filter makes him seem cruel when he's mad, and I don't like it.
"Alright, you go." Jamie gestures to Nate and Ellis.
Total shock ripples through me when they both stand up and kneel at my feet. Nate starts with his soulful eyes locked on mine. He doesn't dare touch me thankfully. "We're sorry for how we've been treating you, Violet."
I feel my eyebrows pull together, but Ellis picks up where his partner left off.
"We've been holding on to a lot of hurt that was easier to morph into anger.
We never should have taken it out on you.
Honestly," he murmurs, and reaches out to touch my knee.
The contact makes my breath hitch. "We should have hugged you and told you we were never letting you go now that we found you. Please forgive us."
I'm stunned absolutely speechless. Why the fuck are they talking about hugging me and never letting me go? I broke their hearts, and I'm definitely not the same person I used to be.
"You're confused," Nate observes with a sad nod. "That's our fault. We've made you question our words and feelings. You must have whiplash. But the honest fucking truth is that we miss you so damn much."
There are many paths in front of me, and I've already proved I'm terrible at making decisions. So of course, I stick to the road I know best.
"I forgive you. Really, I understand why you must have hated me. I do too." I shrug, as if I didn't just implode our conversation with my self-hatred.