Chapter 39
Thirty-Nine
JAMIE
Did she just say that?
I have an emotionally intellectual mind, so I can see where Violet's coming from with her question. But fuck does it piss me off to no end.
The deep breath I force myself to take does nothing. I try to convince myself it gives me time to say something good back. No such luck.
"Of fucking course you’re my love!"
Shit. Ellis stiffens and shifts to face me a little as if he needs to keep an eye on me. I don't blame him.
"Don't say of course like it's obvious, Jamie," Violet responds with a roll of her eyes. I'm not sure I prefer the look in her eyes over her crying. The one right now is far too similar to the one she used to wear when she was keeping me at arm’s length.
"Of course it's obvious!" I have no filter, and the words I'm using are those of a child throwing a tantrum. I'm a complete and utter asshole. My dumbass didn't even think fingerfucking Ellis would be a problem at the time.
Even an hour and a half later, I didn't think it would be an issue. Hell, Violet was on a date with Nate this morning!
"It's not! Not when they're here!"
Her furious eyes pin me in place, and I force myself to swallow the words that accuse her of going on a date with Nate without consulting me either. Defensiveness roars inside of me. Years of being rejected by Violet's heart force my vocal cords to spout my ugly truths.
"I love you! Can't you fucking see that, you stubborn, beautiful woman?!"
I'm lost in the relief of admitting my feelings to her. So much so that everything else comes pouring out.
Violet's face is flushed, and Nate and Ellis have closed ranks around me because I might as well be spitting fire with the pent-up emotion in my voice.
"I may not have as much going on or tears to cry, but fucking hell, Violet! Don't you think I'm confused too? That maybe I'm just going with what feels right?!"
She takes a step back, and the way her chin wobbles makes my heart clench. But all that does is release more things I should keep to myself.
"I'm a man. A fucking tattoo artist. I have powerful, dangerous friends. My tattoos, long hair, and dominant disposition are the surface. Below, I'm confused as fucking hell about why I can't keep away from Nate and Ellis. They're under my skin just like they're under yours."
Whipping around, I break eye contact with the woman I love and yank on my hair. It's a plea to make myself stop, but I can't. I've cut myself loose from the chains of what I'm expected to be. My love, my life, will know how I feel even if I have to shred my tatted skin and growly voice.
"Yes, I should have talked to you about all of this before I fingerfucked Ellis in the ass—"
"Could have left that part out..." Ellis mutters.
"Yes, I should have hijacked your date and demanded we figure our shit out before bringing them into it—"
"Glad you didn't..." Nate murmurs.
"Yes, I love you with all my heart and soul!" I stress, turning around and rushing toward Violet. Bypassing Nate and Ellis' worried grabs for me, I grab V's wrists and pin them above her head against the kitchen cupboards.
"Jamie," she breathes, eyes wide, chest heaving.
"Yes, I thought about you the whole time I was with him.
" Before Ellis can comment this time, I continue fast. "I thought about how much I would love to see him eating your pussy as he was bent over my bed.
Imagining his tight ass hugging my cock while Nate fucked your wet pussy, and I held your hand was the fantasy that had me shooting my load onto Ellis' back. "
"Holy fuck," one of the guys groans, and I can't help but smirk a little.
With Violet pressed between me and the counter I make her breakfast on every opportunity I get, I release my final words.
"This situation is fucked. I'm fucked for how I've gone about my attraction to them.
For that I am so damn sorry. I swear, from the bottom of hell to the top of heaven, that I love you. "
She opens her mouth, but I'm not finished.
"And I love the way they've challenged you and pulled more emotion from you.
You are far more than a woman who I enjoy spending time with and warms my bed.
Violet, you are mine. Your heart, soul, mind, and future are mine.
But," I hesitate ever so slightly because my next statement will set our trajectory, "you can't have a future without a past. And your past is one you love.
Especially the people who were a part of it. "
Truthfully, I'm glad Violet isn't crying because I would start retracting shit I have no business retracting. She just blinks up at me, looking between my eyes like she needs to see the emotion behind my words to make this feel real.
I feel like I'm not breathing as I await her response. Shit even the other two don't make a peep. We're waiting on the edge of something profound and life changing.
You know what my sweet Violet says?
"Can we go get some waffles?" Her eyes widen as if she can't believe she just said that. "I mean, I love you too. So much. Of course I still have feelings for Nate and Ellis. But I'm starving, and I fear I'm too hangry to have this deep conversation."
For the love of everything good and holy... "Don't ever change, Violet Bennett." Kissing her after giving her my everything feels like something new.
One of the new parts of our lives chooses that moment to speak up and explain why he didn't feed my girl when he took her out. "She was worried about you so much that she couldn't stomach much food. That's why we're back early."
Nodding in thanks to Nate, I nudge my face into the space between Violet's jaw and shoulder. Keeping my voice low, I ask her, "Would you like them to join, my love?"
She hesitates for half a second, and I shit you not, I about come in my jeans when she grins. "Ellis still has an hour and a half, so why not."
"I fucking love you," I declare and squeeze her until she relents and tells me she loves me too.