Chapter 40
Forty
NATE
Ihad every intention of leaving Jamie and Violet alone. Professing their love in front of me and Ellis was intense and I'm sure unintentional. But their invitation to go get something to eat with them was not.
Violet clung to Jamie a bit tighter on the drive to lunch. She only allowed him his hand back when the ice on the road required more attention.
I'm not one to talk because Ellis and I held hands the entire way to the restaurant. Ellis could very well be thinking about when he can orgasm, but I'm almost positive he's stressing over how serious everything is becoming.
Not because we don't want our relationship with them to grow, but because there's a big fucking secret making us sick to our stomachs constantly. Who knows how long I can hold on to this deceit.
My stomach growls in agitation; instead of thinking about lunch, I'm stuck remembering why I couldn't eat breakfast. The entire time I watched Violet fidget and worry on our date just reminded me I have the power to hurt her worse than a slight miscommunication she and Jamie had.
I don't want this power. I never should have stolen it. Selfishness and childishness have tainted our meeting. My sweet, bubbly woman doesn't even know we are building this relationship on lies and betrayal.
Fuck, I have no clue if I can even eat lunch at this point.
Seated at our table after the short drive, Ellis shifts in his chair beside me, and Violet giggles quietly.
Jamie smirks and nudges his knee against mine.
His touch brings me back from the depths of my guilt.
I don't deserve to, but still I soak in her laughter and heated gaze she's giving my partner.
"Shush, Bubbl—Violet." Ellis pales, realizing his mistake with his words immediately. "Shit, I'm sorry. I need a new nickname for you."
Violet doesn't seem too bothered by his slip. Instead she just cocks her head and waits for Ellis to continue running his mouth. It's a good tactic if you want to hear some wack ass shit.
"How about Streaks?" he offers.
Violet scowls so hard I can't help but snort into my beer. I wasn't planning on having a beer with lunch, but the awkward silence and my thoughts drove me to drink.
"Absolutely not." Violet protests the nickname. "I've never streaked."
Ellis smiles and tugs on a lock of purple hair. Her breath catches with his closeness as he explains, "I was referencing the purple streaks in your hair."
"Oh," she exhales as he leans back. "Still no, though."
"I'll think of one you won't be able to say no to," Ellis declares with a wink just as the food arrives at our table.
Silence descends around us once again. The sound of other people talking and the football game on the TVs in the restaurant saves us from talking while we eat.
It's not that we have nothing to say; it's that there is so much to say.
Eating feels like the last thing I should be doing, but damn does it taste good. The burger and fries are fucking amazing; before I know it I'm completely engrossed in my meal.
Around the last few bites of my food, Ellis murmurs something to Violet. The concerned lilt in his tone draws my attention to them. He's leaning toward her again and talking softly.
Violet's lips are twisted as she shakes her head. Jamie's tense beside me, but I bet he can't hear the conversation either.
Ellis nods and leans back, looking serious. "V is too anxious about the talk we need to have. So let’s get it out of the way while I feed her," he explains to me and Jamie.
Then, to my surprise, he shuffles his chair closer to her and picks up a slice of her quesadilla. "Alright, someone go," Ellis demands, looking ready to go to battle for Violet.
V stares at him, seeming a bit exasperated, but her lips are curved up in a smile of appreciation. I too am shocked by his intuitive desire to guide us in the right direction and take care of her.
Ellis can be a selfish man, thus needing a more dominant hand frequently. Seeing him step up and take on a more mature role with Violet gives me hope that we can make this work.
"Well," Jamie drawls, wiping his hands on his napkin. "Violet found a good description of what this feels like yesterday on our hike."
"Was that just yesterday?" Violet gasps. "Jeez. So much is happening all the damn time. No wonder I'm tired."
"Well, you also haven't eaten anything yet today," I deadpan and look at Ellis. He follows my silent command and gives Violet a bite of her quesadilla.
She munches on her small bite and seems to relax at the burst of flavor. Ellis watches her and doesn't break his stare as Jamie continues to speak.
"She said it feels like we're two separate couples coming together. I'd say that feels pretty accurate to me. Thoughts?" Jamie gives me the floor with a glance.
I take a moment to think about it. "Yeah, I'd say so. You and Violet have been with each other for years, maybe not in the official sense, but you're comfortable with each other. The trust is there, as is the love. It's the same with me and Ellis."
Ellis and Violet continue listening while he nudges more bites into her mouth. It works that she's distracted by our conversation so she can ignore the food going into her mouth.
"Then there are other connections that need to be built," Jamie continues. "But I really appreciate the respect we all have for the established couples’ dynamic."
"This sounds like a business deal," Violet grumbles, pushing Ellis' hand away. "Why can't we talk about it normally? Like establish rules or something?"
"By all means." Jamie waves a hand at her and leans back in his chair.
Glaring at him, Violet rolls her eyes. "I mean like Jamie and I aren't official—"
Jamie sits up straight at those words. "Watch your mouth, Sweets. As soon as you told me you loved me, we became official. I've been yours for a long time, and now that you're on board, it's official."
Their staring contest goes on for a few seconds before Violet relents. "Fine. We're official. So are they. How do we make this fair?"
"Maybe we should call your mama," I suggest, only kind of joking.
Violet waves her hand through the air and admits, "Already did. She said we have to treat every relationship as its own. But the group has its own space that needs to be paid attention to and nourished too."
"Eat," Ellis commands, pushing a chip into her mouth. When she leans away, he says, "Eat, Violet. It's my turn to talk anyway."
The intense vibe coming off of him is kind of sexy. He won't get away with talking to me like that, but I love seeing it directed at Violet. She needs some guidance too.
"Thank you," Ellis mutters when she takes a bite. "Can I just say, I'm fucking flattered that you've already talked to Blue about us? She's definitely right about each dynamic being its own. Every relationship is different. So how about we just date and let it come naturally?"
Jamie shakes his head. "It can't be that simple, though. We need to communicate and build trust."
"Alright," I butt in. "We can do that. But first we need Violet's phone number."
Violet rattles it off, and Ellis orders another round of drinks as I input it into my phone. "There. Expect us to text and call you both a lot. We're in this for real, and we don't want to step back. Is that okay with you two?"
Jamie and Violet make eye contact before nodding. "Yes," Violet says, but I can see the questions in her gaze. I know she has a lot going on in her mind lately, so I don't pressure her to talk quite yet.
At some point she will trust herself and us to express her worries. It's up to us to show her that we can be trusted.
Even if we can't be.