Chapter 8
Eight
ELLIS
“Fuck, drive faster!" My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I feel like I'm about to lose my mind if I can't talk to one of them today.
Nate's foot is already pressing the accelerator to the floor, so I understand his frustrated growl at me. "Ellis, buckle your fucking seatbelt, or once we pull over, I'll spank your ass so hard you won't be able to sit right for a fucking week."
Shit, okay. Doing as he says, I force myself to take a deep breath and try to relax. It doesn't work, but I do stop yelling at my partner to hurry the fuck up.
Thankfully, it's less than thirty seconds before we finally see the back of Jamie's car. I expect him to keep driving, but he disappears down a small road between the trees. We just got in the car a minute ago—I expected to be following him for a while.
Nate whips the car onto the same road Jamie does. A cabin in the close clearing forces him to slam on the brakes. "Shit! Driveway," Nate grumbles, sounding stressed and a little confused before throwing the car into park.
I'm out of the car and running to Jamie faster than I can even think. He has every right to punch me or throw me into a snowbank like Violet's family did, but Jamie doesn't.
Instead, he gets out of the car, slams the door, and crosses his arms. "I think you should leave," he says in a voice devoid of emotion. The swollen, red mark on his face makes me cringe a little.
"Jamie, please—"
He cuts me off. "I don't think you're in any kind of position to make demands, Ellis."
I feel Nate come up behind me, but I don't take my focus off Jamie. "That's true, but I'm definitely in the right spot to fucking beg. Please, let us explain."
Jamie doesn't even flinch. He just stares me down, making me feel an inch tall in his disapproving gaze. I see the moment Jamie's eyes flicker with anger, and I imagine Nate does too because he tenses close to me.
"Let me see if I already know everything you're about to say," Jamie drawls and leans back against his car. I'm not stupid enough to think he's actually relaxed. No, Jamie is coiled and ready to strike.
Dread fills me, but I deserve whatever hate he's about to spew. Except I should have known better. Jamie is a good man, so he only spits facts. It's my fault the truth hurts.
"Let's play a game," Jamie says. The rage in his voice when he says the same words I said to Violet has me wanting to crawl into a hole and die. "I'll make a guess, and you tell me if I'm right or wrong. Feel free to elaborate if you choose."
"Alright," Nate replies for us since my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. This sucks. I deserve it.
Jamie blinks and ever so slightly tightens his crossed arms. Vulnerability or closing himself off even more?
"You saw Violet with me before we even met and thought it would be a good idea to hurt her?" Jamie offers.
Nate shifts beside me, and I feel his gaze on the side of my face, but I refuse to look away from Jamie. I fear if I do, he will disappear as Violet did.
Thank hell, Nate answers this one for us. "We were at the coffee shop she works at when we saw you two sitting together. It was obvious how much you cared about one another, even though she looked pissed. Of course it hurt, but that wasn't when we made the horrible decision."
Jamie narrows his eyes and, fucking A, I want to make the lines around them go away. Will he ever let me make him laugh again? Or will he always question my motives?
"When did you decide to break her heart and mine then?" Flinching at his choice of words, I choke on my breath. Jamie latches on to my wounded animal reaction and taunts, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that hard to hear?"
Nate immediately jumps in to protect my feelings and keep Jamie from attacking me.
"We were drinking that night at the bar when we saw you.
It was a moment of pure toxicity and pain that made us approach you.
We wanted to get back at her by taking you from her.
Maybe then she would know how much damage she did when she left us. "
Rage and so much fire lights up Jamie's eyes, but before he can fuck up our faces, I blurt out my truth. The one Nate already knows and is so important for Jamie to believe.
"It stopped being about revenge after a few moments of talking to you," I rush to explain. "Please, it's true. I saw the look in your eyes and knew you were hurting and aching for her the way we did for a long, long time. Breaking your heart was hardly a thought."
"Yet you still broke it with your lies, Ellis!" Jamie snaps, his arms dropping to his sides as he steps forward. One hand holds his cellphone, and the other bunches into a fist.
"Jamie, we've been falling for you since the moment we actually met you. It was real," Nate reasons, inching in front of me a bit.
Jamie scoffs. "No, it wasn't. A relationship worth anything isn't built on deceit. You should have told me from the beginning if you actually felt anything for me."
It's my turn to huff, because no way would that have gone well. "Could you honestly say you would have given us a chance if you had known our initial agenda or our past with Violet?"
He ignores my question and asks one of his own. "And Violet? When did it become real? Because I'm not blind. I know you love her, but your love doesn't mean you're good enough for her."
I open my mouth, but Jamie isn't done. "You set out to hurt the woman I love. Even if that motivation only lasted a few moments, the men you've proven yourselves to be aren't good enough. You made her run. You."
"I—" Swallowing, I shift on my feet. The pain in my chest has only grown since the moment I spilled our secret. "We didn't know how to tell you about our past, then she was mugged. It all happened so fast. But the anger really began to fade when we crashed your lunch date."
Jamie growls a dangerous sound and advances on us. "You're telling me when she was unconscious from a panic attack on my couch, you wanted to hurt her more?"
"What?!" I shout. "No! I'm just saying all the feelings were getting twisted around and confusing."
Nate jumps in to help. "Our plan to use you and hurt her ended at the same time. The moment we met you. But seeing her again without being prepared was a shock. We were still so angry with her, but we slowly began to see how much pain she was in from her past with Blue."
"Jamie, please," I beg again, not feeling one ounce of shame for it. "We made a mistake, backtracked, and didn't tell anyone. I thought we deserved her groveling and one bad choice nobody even had to know about."
Jamie's entire body tenses right before he lunges for me. I don't even have a moment to figure out what triggered him before he's coming at me. "You motherfu—"
"Jamie, stop!" Nate shouts, jumping between us to push the angry man back.
Raging mad, Jamie's chest heaves a foot away from the huddle of Nate and me. Over my partner's shoulder, I witness Jamie get himself under control. His breaths slow, and he closes his eyes for a second. When he looks at us again, it's with closed off indifference.
"You don't deserve anything from that sweet girl.
All she's done is try to protect everyone else.
She was already vulnerable beyond what you can comprehend.
You made me the bad guy, too. You damaged a relationship that took five fucking years to build, all because you were childish enough to believe the real world should be run by tit for tat. "
Each word is a knife in my heart. But it's nowhere near as painful as the knife in their backs.
"I don't know how you plan on being worthy of her or mending the pieces you've shattered.
All I know is Violet is surrounded by a fucking army ready to protect her against you.
I plan to prove I am not the bad guy you've made me.
Where you fit in and what you do will be closely monitored by her family.
Figure your shit out, because as of right now, my focus is on Violet.
Consider me off limits until you get your shit together. If that day ever comes, that is."
With that, he stomps off toward the front door of the random cabin. Where we go from here, I'm not sure, but as long as Jamie keeps that door unlocked, we're sticking very fucking close.