Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
NATE
“Ithink you should do it," Jamie mutters without taking his eyes off Violet. She's been sitting in the room Ellis is remodeling for her for about an hour. Just on the floor with her knees up to her chest, back against the wall.
On and off, I've heard her sniffle. She has her water bottle, and I've offered her snacks but she's declined all of my offers.
I'm worried. After Ellis and Violet scared the shit out of me in my garage, we came back in to show her what El has been working on. She shut down as soon as she stepped into the room.
I had to send Ellis downstairs so he could get some of his anxiety out on the treadmill. He's been down there for about half an hour. Since then, my worry has increased. Violet hasn't so much as fucking twitched.
So, I called Jamie. Obviously.
"Ah, no. No way does she want me in there with her." Shaking my head, I step back a bit. I don't want to upset her more than she already is.
Jamie rolls his eyes. "She's not a fucking shark, Nate. You'll be fine in an enclosed space with her."
"I'm not worried about me," I hiss, crossing my arms. "I don't want my presence to upset her!"
"Why the hell do you think she's here, dumbass? I would be the one comforting her if she were in my home. But she's not. She's in yours because she needs to figure out if you can be what she needs."
Fuck, when he puts it like that...
"What if she starts crying? My mom scolded me the other day for telling her to stop crying."
Jamie snorts and rubs his jaw. "I fucking hate it when she cries too. V also hates crying, but it seems to be the only stress relief she can get. Well, that and sex."
"Damn it, Jamie," I grit out and try to wipe the sexy image of Violet naked from my mind. "Don't put that shit in my head right now."
Jamie nudges me with his shoulder. "If that's what she needs from you, would you give it to her?"
"I'll give her anything she desires."
"Good," he says curtly with a firm nod. "Violet may be different and open with us, but she's still the same woman who came to me for sex to numb her feelings. She's not completely changed. Sometimes she'll need relief from the shit going on in her head. She's still journaling, did you know that?"
"No," I admit. I hate that I don't know everything about her but I suppose it's my fault. Especially in moments like this. I'm putting myself at a disadvantage by requesting Jamie help her when I could be the one comforting the woman I love.
Jamie's quiet for a long moment. "Go talk to her," he whispers and walks away stiffly. Almost like it pains him to leave her when she's so clearly struggling.
I take a breath so deep I feel like I'm about to crack a fucking rib. But I need the boost. Keeping my focus on Violet, I make my way toward her. I try my best not to hesitate because I've been doing that for an hour.
Without questioning myself too much, I sit beside her and pull my legs up like she does. I'm struck by the strong scent of paint fumes and wonder if it might be harmful to her, but I stamp it down and ponder what to say.
"What's on your mind, baby?" I whisper, pressing my thigh against hers.
A shaky breath is the only sign that she heard me. When she responds it feels like the sun is shining and I'm being rewarded.
"I'm thinking..." Violet sniffles. "That a kiss doesn't make it all better."
So I'm guessing Ellis and Violet kissed at some point today. I didn't know that, but it makes sense.
"And I'm thinking about what I deserve."
Alarm fills me at her words. "What do you mean?"
"Ellis told me he didn't deserve my kiss. I didn't think much of his words until I walked into this room and saw all the effort he was putting in to give me a space to feel comfortable and safe in your home. My immediate thought was I don't deserve this."
"You absolutely deserve this, Violet," I say adamantly.
Her head rolls along the wall to meet my gaze. "I hurt you first. I abandoned you. Ghosted you. Broke your hearts. I started all of this."
"We are in control of our own actions, baby. You carry yours and we carry ours. This room, this space just for you is Ellis' way of not only apologizing but showing you how serious he believes you are our future. You and Jamie."
"And you?" she asks, surprising me.
"What about me?" I murmur, reaching forward to cradle her knee in my palm.
She blinks and furrows her brows, making my heart pound. "Are you serious about me? About a future with us? After everything we've all been through and the stupid fucking decisions we've made?"
My answer is immediate and completely honest. "I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you and Jamie are our future. Ellis and I will do everything in our power to prove our devotion and love."
She hums, and the next thing I know, Violet flings a leg over my lap so she's straddling me. Her voice is breathy, automatically making my dick twitch. "Everything? Even letting me use you to chase away my mean thoughts?"
Fuck me dead. "Yes. If that's what you need to feel calm and connected to us, I'll let your sweet pussy bounce on my cock for as long as you want."
"What's the catch?" she murmurs, grinding down now. Her grey eyes flare with lust and feeling. The latter is what I need to keep if I'm going to stick my dick in her.
"You know me so well, baby," I say with humor and groan as her hips swivel. "This isn't a fucking. I want you to keep all your feelings right at the surface. You won't use me to detach. You'll use my fat cock and my loving hands to feel good. To feel loved."
The flare of panic in her eyes makes me pause, but Jamie's soothing voice a few feet away calms her. "I'm here, my love. I'll watch over you."
I know his presence is truly just to help Violet stay in the moment right now, but fucking hell having him here is kinky and hot. "How 'bout, we let Jamie run the show, baby?"
Her eyes widen and she absolutely melts. "Yes, please."
"Such sweet manners," I murmur and grip her hips.
Jamie draws my attention when he settles himself on the ground a few feet away from us and leans against the other wall. With one leg bent and the other wide, he looks hot as hell.
Ellis chooses that moment to walk by and trips over his feet. "Oh shit. I can go. I'll go—"
I don't want him to go anywhere and thankfully Violet feels the same. "No, stay. Please?"
Ellis turns and all but throws himself on the ground near Jamie. Close enough to touch but not easily. "As you wish. Continue."
We began this foursome divided. I love that we're coming together again as a unit. A group. And hopefully someday a family.