Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
ELLIS
Imade a plan yesterday and today I feel sick about it. My run this morning helped for a bit, but I'm starting to think I'm not ready to do something like this on my own.
By this I mean shopping, and by on my own I mean me and Violet alone. I'm still fucking shocked she's letting me take her out for a surprise. I expected her to laugh and tell me that there was no way in hell she's going anywhere alone with me.
Nate scolded me for that thought process considering she literally went with him to meet Tina almost two weeks ago. I'm still convinced she's angrier with me than she is with Nate. Same with Jamie.
It's hard to shake the concept that Nate was in on that stupid fucking plan with me.
Often I have to remind myself that Nate is his own person and his choices are his.
He chose to go along with my idea. I just really despise the version of me that wanted to use Jamie to hurt Violet.
I don't care that it only lasted five minutes.
The moment I realized I couldn't go through with it, I should’ve turned around.
But I was weak. I was weak for Jamie. The man whose pain and confusion called to mine.
Our dilemmas had a common denominator, and that was Violet.
Wonderful, stubborn, beautiful Violet. I wanted to make Jamie feel good and offer him a place with our jaded hearts.
I just never expected things to go as well as they did.
I mean, Christ, the four of us fell in love.
Drunk me with a dick down his throat and anger issues didn't see that coming.
I would like to think that if I did, I would have thought through shit better.
Although maybe not. I was a different man a few months ago.
Losing someone changes you, and I lost the woman I love twice.
This time, I better be fucking changed. For the better. I'll kick my own ass if I don't fix my shit. Violet's uncle doesn’t need to tell me I deserve an ass whooping. I do. I got one. But I don't think it was enough, so I'll keep punishing myself on my runs whenever shit becomes too much.
Right now I'm wishing I ran to Violet's apartment. Instead, I'm waiting for her to open the door while I stand here bouncing on my heels.
She and Jamie have come over a few times in the past week, but we've done nothing more than hug and give naughty eyes. I'm happy to go at her pace for as long as she needs.
I loved, loved, loved watching her and Nate. I'm excited for it to happen again but I'm not going to push it. Violet is incredibly confident in her sexuality, so I don't believe she needs us to make those moves. She has the control and honestly, I'm fucking here for it.
"Coming!" Violet calls through the door a moment before it swings open and allows me to lay eyes on my girl for the first time in two days. "Hi," she breathes, sounding out of breath.
"Hello," I greet and lean against the door jamb trying to seem way more calm than I am. "Are you okay?"
"What?" A loud screech behind her and a big thud makes Violet cringe. "Oh. Ah. Cassidy, well, she—"
"Is PISSED!" Cassidy shouts, stomping to the kitchen and opening a bottle of wine. Violet looks worried and lingers by her shoes like she doesn't want to leave her friend.
I may have some emotional intelligence hang ups, but I'm not stupid. Cass is clearly going through something and emotions are heightened. "Cassidy, why don't you come get dinner with us?"
"What?" Cassidy snaps, turning to me with the deepest frown I've ever seen on her freckled face. "No. I can't do that."
Violet looks from her to me and I think I read her expression correctly because V relaxes with my next statement.
"Let me feed you girls, buy you a drink. After some pasta I'll bring you home so I can take my girl on a date. Get your shoes on. Both of you."
Cassidy looks like a fish out of water, but she barely hesitates to run over and put her boots on. "Thank you, Ellis," she says, sounding incredibly grateful.
Honestly, I'm mad at how appreciative she sounds because that means someone hasn't been treating her right.
"You're welcome," I reply with a gentle smile and nod. Holding Violet's hand, I help her balance as she puts her shoes on. "You ladies can sit in the back and chat."
Violet might as well be looking at me with hearts in her eyes. When Cassidy rushes back to get her purse, Violet gives me a chaste kiss and thanks me.
Cassidy has been an amazing friend to Violet. I can't thank her enough for the loyalty and support she's given my girl, but I can ensure I don't steal her best friend away when it's clear she needs Violet now.
I'll happily drive them around and give them the time they need. If it earns me some brownie points, then all the more reason to sit back and let them do their thing.
"You look like you either have a cavity or you're thinking really hard."
I release the tooth I was sucking on with a loud laugh. Glancing over at Violet, I'm relieved to see humor dancing in her eyes and a smile on her lips.
"I'm thinking, Bubbles. You think I'd let these pearly whites get a cavity?"
Still grinning, she pulls a leg up on the passenger seat and twists to face me as I drive. "You want to know who Cassidy was talking about, huh?"
"You got me," I tease but turn serious pretty quick. "I get girl code so you don't have to tell me. But I feel like calling up Nate and Jamie so we can find this guy and kick his ass."
Violet's burst of laughter makes me jump. "You wouldn't be able to even get close to him. Well, Jamie might know him actually," she says offhandedly, like she just thought of something.
Who does Jamie know that we can't touch? It clicks. "Jesus, is this guy part of the MC or some shit?"
Violet cringes and plays with the zipper on her jacket. "He might be the president."
"What?!"
"Just a little!" she rushes out. "Like not totally."
Ignoring her attempt at minimizing the situation Cassidy has found herself in, I glare at the road. "Is she safe? Is this guy going to hurt her?"
"No! I really don't think so. That guy is so in love with her it's like he rips his own heart out every time he leaves the apartment."
"Violet I don't know how I feel about you being in the same place as him..." She huffs, but I continue. "I'm serious. I'd like you to talk to Jamie about this at the very least. Make sure he knows because he has connections with them, okay? It will help us all sleep better."
"Yeah, alright. Jamie does want better communication," she says thoughtfully, then pokes me in the arm. "Speaking of, where are we going?"
"Shopping," I say with cheer, hoping to cover my nerves again. Cassidy and her romantic drama was a good barrier for our date, but now it's just me and my girl.
"Ellis," she says, and I feel her narrowed gaze on me. "I don't need any more lingerie."
Another laugh bursts from my chest, and my hand flies to her spread thigh. "I'd fucking love to see your naughty collection, V. But no, we won't be adding to it today."
"Then what do you, Ellis, want to buy me?" She sounds like she's teasing, so I give it right back trying not to take offense that she would assume all I want her for is sex.
"Listen girly," I warn, "I'm more than just a pretty face and a big dick. I have a heart too."
She gasps a little and grabs my hand on her thigh. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."
"I know," I soothe with a soft smile. "I was joking too. Anyway, I want you to decorate your room at my place. I don't know if you want it more of an office or a library or a cozy place to have some alone time—What?"
Her mouth is open, and her eyes are wide. "Really? I can decorate part of your home? Are you sure?"
"Violet," I begin as I pull into a parking spot outside a nice furniture store. "That room is yours. Yours, Bubbles. I want it to be everything you want so you'll visit it constantly. Shit, you can decorate the whole house if you want. It definitely needs some more color."
She nibbles on her bottom lip while glancing out the windshield. "Floor to ceiling bookshelves?"
"Sure."
"With a sliding ladder like in the movies?"
"Whatever you want."
A very girly squeal almost bursts my eardrums, but she makes it better with a big kiss on my cheek.
"Then maybe you'll get to see my lingerie collection after all.
" She's out of the car in a flash. I know she's just messing with me, testing me, seeing how far she can push.
Violet will be modest about her purchases, I know for a fact.
It's up to me to remind her I want to do this for her. And maybe a teeny bit want to do it for the sexy fashion show.