Chapter 38
Thirty-Eight
JAMIE
Violet's working her ass off trying to figure out what she wants, and I've been helping her. By watching her connections with Nate and Ellis rekindle, I've felt my feelings for them stir too.
In the weeks since we sped to Blue's house in Chicago, I've watched Violet grow. Not only her, but Nate and Ellis too. My attraction to them has increased as I've witnessed them treat Violet the way I would treat her.
Like she's the sweetest thing in their life.
They're gentle and loving. They joke with her and dominate her. Their thoughts revolve around her, and they're considerate of her feelings.
Weeks ago I would have demanded some hardcore groveling to get back in our good graces. They really fucked up and sent her running. I wanted them on their knees, begging and pleading for forgiveness.
Now, I'm glad the dramatic scenes I wanted were few. I was there when they hit rock bottom and begged to see her. Ellis got beaten up by her uncle for shit’s sake.
Instead of being a grump about it, he learned from it.
He said, you know, expelling that energy made me feel better.
He accepted Levi's fists with an open mind.
Ellis has for sure had the most drastic changes. His are obvious. Nate on the other hand has been a rock. He's reliable but more than that, he's not stone cold and putting on a front you might expect from a bearded Dom.
He's vulnerable. Asking for help. Leaning on me for guidance with Violet.
Nate wants to give us his everything, and he has.
I see the battle in his eyes when he thinks about hiding his worries, but his newfound awareness always wins.
I'm aware that sometimes it won't and we'll have some shit to work through.
Just like I expect Ellis to blow up when things become too much for him, but there's something else I've noticed.
We're good as a team. Nate and I have caught Ellis tensing a few times and told him to work it out, which he does each time with a grateful nod.
Ellis and I have traded looks when we feel like Nate is shutting part of himself off.
Somehow we've managed to pull Nate out of his head and the box that people would put the big intense man in.
With Violet, I have no issue leaning back to let Nate and Ellis work through her emotions with her. She needs all three of us. Thinking about last week when we made a group decision to check on her when she canceled our plans for the day makes me smile.
I wouldn't have lightened the mood like Ellis did when he brought up Nate's ridiculous fall on the ice.
Nor would I have immediately jumped to get her all the shit she needed to feel better.
I would have made her talk to me more, but whatever Nate and Ellis felt in the moment led them to believe she just needed our presence. And Cassidy's of course.
They listened and didn't push. As the morning continued and Violet became more intimate and happy, I felt thankful that I had Nate and Ellis there for her too. She didn't need a push to talk. She needed comfort and to just be.
We make a good team. We won't always agree or catch each other before we fall, but our odds are better together.
Which is why I'm taking Ellis and Nate out for a guy’s day.
Guy’s date. Violet gave me permission and told me she appreciated me asking.
We've all agreed she's in charge of our relationship, which is actually a relief for me.
Her encouragement to go out with them and figure my feelings out makes this easier.
I may be dominant with Violet, but she's still independent and fluid with her submission.
We don't stay rigid in our dynamic twenty-four-seven, but Violet will always be the one in control.
Her submission, caring for her, and guiding her when she needs it is a privilege to me. Same with Ellis and Nate.
She holds all the cards, and it's a damn good thing because it helps build my confidence. Plus, my girl is going to meet me at my apartment after this date and I'm already salivating over it.
"Hey," Ellis greets as he slides into the booth next to me.
Taking a chance, I grab his thigh and pull him close. "You look nervous," I whisper in his ear just as Nate slides into the other seat across from us. I can feel my control slowly withering away. Something about having these two men in my company under dim lighting out in public unravels me a bit.
"Maybe a little," Ellis murmurs and shivers. I wonder if he's remembering how he gagged on my cock beneath a table similar to this one.
"Hmm." Backing off a bit, I study his tight features, which tense even more as I slide my hand further up his thigh. I grin when his breath catches. He's definitely thinking the same thing as me. Would he suck my cock as well as he did the first time if I shoved him beneath the table?
A boot taps my calf, making me glance at Nate. Nate clears his throat with a raised eyebrow. "Jamie. Let’s order some food and hang out like we agreed."
"Fine," I grumble and slide my hand closer to Ellis' knee. "You're right. Although if this goes well, Violet promised to be waiting in my bed for me. She even said something about lingerie."
"Fuuuck," Ellis groans and hangs his head.
I laugh and flag the waiter. The young man eyes us with a bit of curiosity, but I don't mind. Let him speculate.
"A round of waters and I'll take a Coke as well, please," I request.
The guy nods and looks at Ellis, but Nate takes over. "I'll have a Coke as well, and he'll have a Sprite. Please."
"Sure thing. Any apps?"
"Oh fuck yeah," Ellis hoots, rubbing his hands together and ordering a few shareables.
My cheeks hurt from smiling at him by the time the waiter leaves. Ellis catches my eye and does a double take when he sees the pure joy that must be obvious on my face. "What?"
"Nothing," I reply, shaking my head. "You're just adorable."
That earns me a scowl. "No I'm not."
Nate chuckles without looking up from the menu. "Ellis," he drawls. "You have many sides to you. Adorable is definitely one of them. Especially when you get excited about food."
"Well, who doesn't get excited about their Daddies letting them get appetizers?"
Oh, the little shit. "Don't call us that," I growl, grabbing his thigh in warning.
"But you have so many sides to you," he coos, batting his thick eyelashes.
Nate sighs and looks at me. "I heard him and Violet laughing about our Daddy vibes the other day. We're gonna need to do something about that."
"Food first," Ellis declares and studies the menu like he didn't just push our buttons.
"And talking," I agree and hone in on Ellis. "How goes the job hunt?"
Ellis stiffens to my surprise and avoids eye contact. "Do we have to talk about that?"
Taken aback, I turn to give him my full attention. "Now we definitely do. What's going on?"
Ellis sighs and thanks our waiter for the drinks as they're handed out. At least he's polite as he evades my questions. When I check Nate's reaction to the tension, I find he also looks confused. So, we're both not in the know.
We don't push him, but we don't fill the silence either.
Finally, Ellis leans back in his seat and shares his worries.
"I don't think I can go back into the nursing field.
The stress and constant pressure to save everyone didn't do my temper any favors.
Hell, I was a dick to Blue's men when they came in after she was found.
I still feel so much guilt for how I treated them all because I was heartbroken by V. "
I listen and don't judge. He's working through his shit and trying to figure out what might trigger him. I'm feeling damn proud.
"I just..." He takes a deep breath. "I'm a good nurse. I know that. But I don't think nursing is good for me. Especially right now while I'm trying to settle and find myself you know?"
Now he peeks up at us as if needing our reassurance.
I'm already nodding and leaning in to kiss his cheek.
Fire licks down my spine when our mouths connect unintentionally.
He gasps and I do too, deepening our connection for just a moment.
When I pull back, I replace my touch with a hand around the back of his neck.
"Proud of you," I rumble. "We'll support whatever you choose to do."
Ellis' eyes shine with emotion, but he keeps it under control and gives me a small smile instead. "Thank you."
"Ellis, come here," Nate demands quietly, reaching across the table.
Ellis doesn't hesitate to lean toward his partner, letting Nate devour his mouth in a far more passionate kiss than I gave.
"You're doing great," Nate praises. His statement encompasses a wide range of steps Ellis has been making toward being the best version of himself and I agree.
"Thanks," Ellis murmurs and settles back beside me. He's blushing, but he looks lighter. "I also want to use my time off to go on one of Violet's trips."
Immediately I groan. "Yes. Count me in. I don't know if I can let her go on another fucking hike without me yet. Not after what happened."
"Will she let us, though?" Nate wonders with humor lacing his tone.
"Well." Ellis chuckles. "You two are pretty good at bulldozing. So just don't give her a choice."
Nate cocks his head and contemplates Ellis' words, but I'm already nodding.
"I was talking to her about safety rules.
Honestly, I think she'll understand if we express our concerns and feelings on the matter.
Less demanding, more collaborative. Can you do that?
" I tease Nate, flicking his hand as it reaches for onion rings that literally just hit the table.
"Of course. I'm not a caveman," he retorts.
Ellis snorts and waves his hand around as he chokes on a mozzarella stick. "No, but your face does love a good bush."
My heart triples in size throughout the rest of our dinner. We joke and chat. Our opinions are heard and our futures discussed.
It went better than well...which means.
"Lingerie show!" Ellis hoots as he sprints through the parking lot.
Nate and I shout at the same time. "CAREFUL!" The smile we share is genuine and filled with hope.