Chapter 8 Oliver #2
Beneath the text an image pops up. It’s a gold necklace with a small gold dragonfly at the end of it, shorter in length than the one he wears.
No. What are you trying to do, collar me?
Exactly. You’d look hot in this, Ollie.
Listen, I just want a date to the parties, I don’t need you to act like I’m your possession, okay?
Would you get a dragonfly tattoo instead?
Die. Slowly.
Already ordered the necklace by the way.
Something about his last text makes me see red.
Like I don’t have a say in anything, at all.
Like he’s the one in control again, even though this whole fake relationship was my idea.
I text him again.
You know what? Forget it.
I lock my phone, turn it on silent, and shove it back in my pocket. I’m clenching my teeth hard as I follow Hunter down Red Row, and a silent volcano is erupting inside me.
“You’re right,” I tell Hunter.
“Hm?”
“I’m going to call it off.”
Hunter turns in the wind and squints at me. “Oliver, are you okay?”
I try to hide the anger inside me, but with every step closer we get to Onyx House, I want to explode.
“I think I am finally okay. For the first time in two weeks. Because I’m finally realizing how fucking idiotic it was to do this with Niko at all. Going to tell him the fake relationship shit is off when we get back.”
“Wow,” Hunter says. “Okay. Proud of you.”
I let out a frustrated sigh, leaning my head back in the wind. “But I know he’s going to try to work his way back under my skin. I have to figure out exactly what I’m going to say. Make him realize it’s really not going to happen.”
“Whenever Rayne can’t figure out what to say, he writes it out. You could try that.”
“Your boyfriend’s a lot better at social stuff than I am.”
“All the more reason you should write it in a letter. It helps you collect your thoughts. Makes it harder for the other person to convince you you’re wrong, too.”
Hunter’s right.
I am a fan of journals, after all, and writing helps me parse my thoughts.
I can write it all out, every stupid reason why this was a bad idea, and make sense of my emotions in the form of a goddamn letter.
As soon as we’re back in Onyx House, I head to the Reading Room. It’s a room on the bottom level that we use to study, and it’s one of the only reliably calm places in the frat house. I find a pen and a sheet of paper in one of the old wooden desks.
I sit down at the desk, and I write.
I’m there for at least half an hour, starting the letter, hating it, then walking over to the fireplace to burn it and start over again.
Finally, I settle on one clear, concise message.
And then it’s done.
I fold it in half and walk up the stairs toward my room.
I’m going to give Niko the letter tonight. He’s been getting back late usually, sometimes at 11 o’clock at night.
Whenever he’s back, I will hand him the letter. Then I’ll fucking walk away from him for the final time.
But I swing the door open to my bedroom and my plan blows up in front of me.
When I see someone in my bed, my first instinct is to panic.
I’m shot with adrenaline. I reach for the baseball bat that I started keeping near the doorway when I was worried about the attacks earlier in the semester.
But when my eyes adjust to the low light in the room, my blood goes from cold to hot.
It’s Niko. And he isn’t wearing clothes.
His dark hair is splayed out against my pillows, which he’s propped up behind him. The endless tattoos on his naked skin stand out under my bedside lamp.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
His cock is in his hand, and he has some sort of purple toy stuffed in his ass with his legs spread while he films himself with his other hand.
He just casually lies there and watches me as I shove the letter into my pocket, drop my gym bag, and scramble to shut and lock my door behind me.
“I’m trying to get off. What does it look like I’m doing?”
“In my bedroom?”
“Well, yeah. Something about the way your bedsheets smell like you helps me come—”
“Out of your fucking mind.”
“I’m joking, Ollie. My room just happens to be occupied by two other guys right now. You’re very special to me, but you’re not that special.”
I glare at him. “Trust me. I can tell.”
He strokes his cock as he watches me, almost looking amused.
It’s never been more obvious that Niko is built to be a model. His gorgeous, sleepy eyes regarding me like I’m the one intruding, without even a hint of shame about what he’s doing.
“What was that paper you put in your pocket?” he asks.
My heart pounds harder again.
“It was nothing.”
I’m supposed to give it to him and walk away, not pass it over while he’s naked in my bed.
I glance down at his legs, looking at the large, looping tattoo that wraps around the front of his thigh. It’s the wing of some sort of bird, and the way the ink stands out on his skin is impossible to ignore.
Christ.
I really am a fanboy.
Kill me.
“Let me see what it was.” His tone is soft, almost a little sultry, even though his words are a clear demand.
“I told you, it’s nothing. Get out of my room.”
Don’t look at that toy in his ass.
Or his damn tattoos.
I cross over toward the window and yank the window open, letting in a cold rush of wind and hoping it’ll piss him off.
He gives me a look, then reaches over and shoves the window closed again.
And then in a quick movement, he leans toward me.
His hand darts into my pocket.
He snatches the piece of paper before I can stop him, and even as I reach over and try to clasp my hand around his wrist, he keeps it away from me.
He curls the letter into a ball in his other hand, tucking it away under his body and far from me.
“Give me the letter,” I tell him.
“It’s a letter? All the more reason to read it. Who’s it for?”
I want to destroy him.
Every cell in my body is telling me to run out of the room or fucking kill him, but there’s nothing I can do at this point.
If I don’t feel confident, I have to fake it.
I pull in an even breath, clenching my jaw.
I stand up straight again and take a step back.
“It’s for you,” I tell him.
And I’m so embarrassed I want to dissolve into a goddamn puddle on the floor.
A devious look settles on his face and he carefully unfolds the paper, looking down at it and starting to read out loud.
“Niko, I have decided we need to end this. The fake relationship was a bad idea to begin with, but as you’ve gotten busier, it’s clear you don’t have time to truly dedicate to me.
The weight of it is driving me insane. With your CamboyChaos account, things will only get more complicated if you’re ever recognized… ”
He pauses for a moment, looking up at me. “Very clever. Purposely mentioning my account so you know I won’t show anyone the letter?”
“Protecting myself,” I tell him.
As he continues reading, heat rises in my body and I still feel like I want to fucking flee.
But this is my room.
My world.
And I’m going to stand by the words I wrote, because I meant every one of them.
“The pressure just keeps building inside me. I need to be honest with the other Onyx Society members, and honest with myself. We can’t continue if this is not going to be a priority for you, Niko.”
He folds up the letter and sets it down on the nightstand.
“You’re getting very desperate for my attention,” he murmurs, his eyes half-lidded as he watches me.
“Of course that’s how you’d interpret the letter.”
“I know how badly you’re starting to crave more of me, Ollie. So tell me what you’re hiding.”
I let out a groan. “Knew you were going to fucking bring that up.”
My heart feels like it’s lodged somewhere near my throat.
“Then what’s holding you back from being honest with me? Relieving all that pressure inside you?”
He’s started to lazily stroke his cock again. He gives it a firm squeeze, then runs his fingertips along the underside.
I can’t stop staring. The toy in his ass is absolutely coated in lube, slicking his hole around it too.
And I’m getting hard.
Even though I’m embarrassed, and confused, and furious, and it’s a confusing mix that makes me want to destroy something.
“You’ve been icing me out for two weeks,” I finally say. “If that’s how this is going to go, then I don’t want us to continue.”
“You’re not sitting on this cock until you can be real with me.”
The words are right there on my lips.
It feels like he’s staring straight through me.
Like he can tell I have a big, fat blinking sign above me that says yeah, I am holding something back.
I’ve never fucked anyone.
He knows it’s burning inside me like an inferno.
I finally speak. “Clearly you’re going to make yourself come while you’re lying on my bed, so can you get it over with?”
“Then walk over here and watch me come while you don’t lay a single finger on me.”
My cock throbs under my sweatpants.
“You expect me to watch you and not participate?”
“You’ve watched me enough in my videos, haven’t you? Did you wish you could reach out and touch me behind the screen? That’s exactly how I want you to feel when you watch me right now in your bed.”
No.
Not this time.
I let my gaze land on his, holding eye contact. “That’s not how this is going to work.”
He looks like he doesn’t believe me, but he’s about to.
My heart pounds as I reach for the bottom hem of my shirt and pull it off. Suddenly I’m acting on pure instinct, and the competitive side of me is slowly overtaking any scrap of shame I have left inside me at this point.
If this is the last time we do anything together, I’m at least going to get something out of it.
As I walk over toward Niko, I slowly push down my sweatpants.
He’s trying to hide his surprise but I see his pupils flare as he watches me tug my sweatpants off.
And then I shove down my boxer briefs, freeing my cock.
“Fuck,” he utters when he sees me. “Your cock looks like that and you don’t want to post videos of it online? You’re blessed. God, that is obscene.”
A surge of heat hits my veins.
I wasn’t prepared for how much it would turn me on to have him staring at my naked cock. It stirs something wicked inside me, like suddenly I’ve flipped a table on him and I have far more power than he does.
Because I do have a great fucking cock.
Of all the things I’ve been shy about in my life, my dick has never been one of them. Part of me always wished I had an excuse to show it off.
You want this, and you’re not going to get it, either.
“Keep watching,” I tell him, my voice coming out lower than usual, like I’ve been taken over by something primal.
I close the distance between us until I’m right beside the bed.
“Doesn’t seem like you understand the rules,” he murmurs, but his gaze stays locked on my erection.
“I understand the rules perfectly.”
I don’t touch him.
Just like he said.
I stay standing over him and start to stroke my cock as I hold his gaze.
That purple silicone toy in his ass is impossible to ignore.
I glance down at it, looking at how his tight hole stretches around it as he takes it like it’s easy.
I’ve seen him push toys like that into himself before online.
It’s super different when it’s right here in front of me than when it’s on a small screen, though.
My cock throbs as a bead of precum leaks from my tip, slowly falling downward in a thin, clear line until it lands on his thigh.
He slides his fingertips through it and then drags them along the underside of his cock.
“God, fuck you, Niko,” I whisper.
Fuck you for making me want something this badly.
Making me fucking need it—
I push past some invisible limit in my mind and close the distance even further between us, leaning over the bed.
I’m still not laying a hand on him.
Instead I reach down, grabbing the end of the toy in his ass and shoving it deeper.