Chapter 15 Niko #2
“I need air,” I tell Oliver. “Need to go out on the front steps for a few minutes.”
“You need water, too.”
“Right. Yes. Water. I’ll grab a glass.”
Ollie nods. “Meet you out front in a second, okay?”
“You’re so good to me.”
I lean in to kiss him before I head for the front, but the moment my lips are on his, I need so much more.
The small peck turns into something deeper. I can’t pull away.
He tastes like apple cider and he smells like the vanilla body wash he always uses, and fuck, I’ve never been with anyone who lights up every nerve in my body like Oliver does.
“I want every part of you,” I say when he pulls off for a breath.
“I think we’ve done well tonight making everyone think we’re an item, by the way,” Ollie says, glancing over and noticing another group of people who just certainly saw us making out.
I wasn’t aware of it.
I haven’t given a single fuck who’s been watching us tonight, and I’ve been singularly focused on him.
“Glad we’re being seen,” I tell him just because I know it’ll satisfy him.
“See you outside in a sec.”
I head over to the drink bar and grab one of the water bottles there. I crack it open and take a long swig, and somehow even water tastes amazing right now.
Oliver would love this.
He needs to try this water, and then I need to kiss him again.
I work my way through the crowd, past one of the tall Christmas trees and out through the front doors.
The moment the cool air hits my skin it’s like a beacon from heaven.
Yes.
God.
Needed this.
I walk out onto the stone steps, sucking in the fresh air like it’s a cigarette after sex. I get a little rush of anticipation, just from knowing that I’m going to get to touch Oliver again soon.
Apart for three minutes and already I’m like this? Fuck, I’m getting so needy for his proximity.
So good.
Need to get Ollie up against the wall and heat him up out here in the cold, too. He’s probably already so cold, but I’ll fix it for him.
I can fucking fix everything for him.
“There you are.”
The voice comes from the other edge of the steps.
It sounds strange.
Almost like it belongs to another world.
I turn and see a figure standing near one of the benches that line the path leading toward Student Hall.
And my stomach drops when I realize who it is.
Callum is there, right beside Oliver, and even right now I feel a flare of rage as I see him anywhere near Ollie.
I drop the water bottle onto the ground and walk over.
“Get the fuck away from him.”
I watch Callum’s silver hair as he walks under the lamp post toward the steps like there’s an apparition coming toward me, something that should never be in this reality at all.
“When I asked Oliver here about your little incident, Niko, he didn’t seem to know anything about it. You haven’t told your boytoy what you did?”
Fire rips through my chest.
“Get the fuck away from Oliver,” I repeat.
No.
Fuck, no.
It’s not that I’ve been keeping a secret from Oliver.
But there is something that happened, just before I broke things off with Callum. Something that weighs heavy on my heart, pulling at it like a pendulum when I let myself think about it.
“Oliver doesn’t even know that I’m the one who saved your life.”
Ollie is frowning. “What does he mean by that, Niko?”
“Callum,” I say. “You need to leave.”
He’s wearing one of his usual suits, but he approaches and I see the shirt he has on underneath it. It’s a shirt with a shimmering gold dragonfly printed on the front of it that I lost a long time ago, and he must have swiped it from me back when we were dating.
Can’t believe I ever associated with this person at all.
“Been waiting out here,” he says. “Didn’t expect your new toy to be out here, too.”
“He isn’t my toy. He’s my boyfriend.”
He glares at me. “Lovely.”
“Why are you waiting out here?”
“Because you need a Crimson ID to get into that party, Niko.”
“I know you need an ID for the formal. I’m asking why the fuck you’re on this campus to begin with, Callum.”
“I knew the E would hit. Knew you’d get sick of that party and come to find me. I’m already here, Niko. I’m here for you. I was here for you when you did something very stupid, and I’m here now.”
It feels like someone is opening up a dark, locked box I had stuffed away.
Stuffed down in my own psyche.
Somewhere far from this life.
The rocky cliff.
The waterfall below.
Blood, spilling from the back of my head, painting the water in a small pool of deep red, before I lost consciousness.
Callum sounds insane, and he is.
But that dark little story is something I’m going to have to explain to Oliver now.
“The E hit a long time ago. It doesn’t make me feel a single thing about you.”
He steps toward me slowly, one hand reaching toward his pocket. First it looks like he’s just putting his hand there, but then it becomes obvious he’s reaching for something.
“Niko, Niko,” he says.
“Do you have a weapon in that hoodie?”
His bitter laugh fills the air. “So scared, aren’t you? You never used to be scared of me.”
He pulls out a little clear bottle, shaking it.
Small white pills are inside.
“I can’t believe you actually drugged me,” I say. “And now you’re just freely admitting it.”
“I did it last year, too.”
I frown. “You didn’t even know me yet, when I was at that hockey game.”
“I knew your Instagram profile. Knew you had potential. I met you later that night, don’t you remember?”
My stomach is starting to feel sick.
He was manipulating me before he ever met me.
Oliver turns toward him and takes a step closer.
“Fuck you,” he says in a low tone.
“Don’t approach him, Ollie,” I tell him.
When Callum puts a hand on Ollie’s shoulder a flash of panic hits my veins.
Oliver.
My Oliver.
His beautiful face.
Everything about him is so perfect, and he didn’t do it. He never drugged me. It was this monster.
And I have to keep him away.
I spring into action.
The moment I see him on Ollie I launch forward and my palms connect with Callum’s shoulders. I shove him backward, and he lets out a bitter laugh.
I punch him in the jaw and he falls to the ground, still laughing, his hand scraping against a stone as he tries to steady his fall.
A streak of his blood smears out onto the ground, painting deep red on the grey.
“He can’t give you what you need, Niko,” Callum says, and I can see that his pupils are dilated, too. “He’s a prep school clone like the rest of them.”
I push his face into the stone and he laughs again.
“He’s mine,” I tell him.
“What’s going on?” I hear a voice coming form behind me.
I keep Callum on the ground, and he doesn’t even struggle.
It’s like he wanted me to lose control.
A moment later, Roman and Weston step out from the front door of Student Hall, and I say a fucking prayer of thanks that someone else is here.
Callum is out of his mind, but he has enough self-preservation instinct not to pull anything while multiple people are watching.
I hope.
He looks at Roman’s muscle and already, I can see Callum’s smile starting to retreat.
I need to be near Oliver again.
Desperately.
I stand up and walk over to him and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. I grip his hand, holding it tight.
“Can’t believe this is the guy.”
“He’s already given me more than you ever have. Get away from me.”
Roman looks between the two of us and can sense a problem even though he’s out of the loop. He steps over, walking up to Callum like he’s a bodyguard, placing his solid brick of a body between me and Callum.
I see Roman feeling for his back pocket, and I know there probably actually is a weapon he’s carrying there.
“You’ll come back to me,” Callum tells me.
I watch a drop of blood from his hand fall and hit the stone.
Finally, he steps back.
One step.
Then another.
“I care about him more than I ever cared for you,” I call after him as he finally turns and walks away, and the panic shatters in my chest like glass.
He’s gone.
“Niko, are you okay?” Oliver says, squeezing my hand.
I pull him in and I press little kisses to his forehead, his cheek, the side of his neck. I hug him close like he’s precious, like I was afraid something terrible was going to happen to him.
My phone is vibrating, over and over again, in my pocket. I ignore it.
I realize my hands are shaking.
It’s not that I’m not afraid. I’m pushed to my limit.
Can’t stand this feeling.
“I never want to see him again,” I say. “So tired of it. I just want to exist. Why can’t I just exist?”
Oliver’s holding me close, keeping me locked tight in a hug. “You can get a restraining order.”
My phone is incessantly buzzing again.
I reach to pull it out, keeping my body against Oliver’s as I look at the screen.
It’s a call from Sevan.
“Sev,” I answer. “What’s going on?”
“We have a problem.”
The shattered panic inside me rises again, like broken glass threatening to rip apart my insides.
“Tell me.”
“He’s fucking crazy, Niko. Your ex broke into my room and left things here. Messages for you, I think? Some messages for Oliver, too, I think. Are you still at the formal?”
A chaotic storm is circling around me, like I’m in the eye of a hurricane and things are only going to get worse.
I look at Oliver and I have an overwhelming urge to pull him into some secret world. A place where my past won’t touch him. Somewhere we can be together and I won’t have to face this version of my reality with him.
I still need to explain what happened.
About the day I nearly died, and everything spiraled in around me.
I would never have known you, Ollie, I think. Not like I do now.
I would have died and never had the chance to know how worthy of love someone can be.
Jesus.
The last remnants of the molly in me are crossing the wires in my mind.
Oliver doesn’t want things like that. I thought I didn’t, either.
The only thing keeping me from running after Callum and pounding his skull into the pavement is that same drug, though.
I have to fix all of this.
Later, when my brain isn’t flooded with misplaced desire.
I can’t take it any longer.
“Don’t touch anything, Sev. Fuck. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”