Chapter 16 Oliver
Oliver
Oliver, looking at Niko’s Instagram profile, two months ago
Something always seemed off about Callum.
The silver-haired guy in Niko’s pictures always seemed like he wasn’t fully there.
Like even when he smiled, there was a dead-eyed stare above it.
A lifelessness.
I swore Niko deserved better.
He always has.
Niko doesn’t let me go for the entire walk over to the Double Daggers house.
He doesn’t talk to me, either, but there’s no time.
What happened to you?
My chest feels hollow when I try to pull the disparate pieces together. Did Niko get hurt? On purpose?
Did he try to hurt himself badly?
A group of us heads over in the night, and I feel like I’m walking on thin glass that might shatter. Wes, Roman, Hunter, and Rayne all come with us, despite Niko telling people over and over again that they don’t need to help.
His hand clutches mine for the whole walk, his warm grip holding me like he’s afraid I’ll be pulled away into the air.
When we walk into Sevan’s room, we find it littered with notes.
It’s as if someone came into the room and sprayed pieces of black confetti, but each little piece of black paper has a note on it written in silver ink.
I pick one up off of Sevan’s bed and read it.
You will come back to me.
Another one reads: want me to hurt someone for you?
From anyone else, it might seem like a meaningless gesture. But there’s more behind these notes.
Like he wants to leave us a little breadcrumb trail of tiny reminders of his presence, each one a pricking thorn in our side.
But the thorns aren’t the real weapon.
It’s what he’s capable of doing when all of this doesn’t work.
“Where were you when this happened?” Niko asks his cousin.
He’s still clutching my hand.
“Everyone else was at the formal. I went down the hall to the lounge room and watched a Christmas movie.”
Niko frowns. “You were just down the hall when all of this happened? Did you hear anything?”
“Nothing at all,” Sevan says.
“Why the fuck is he leaving notes in your cousin’s room? He could have left them in your room,” Rayne says.
“He knows it’ll get my attention,” Niko says. “Scare me more than it would if it was only directed at me. I’ve been trying to pretend I don’t see his manipulation tactics for over a month, but when he does shit to other people, I can’t ignore it.”
Weston walks in from downstairs. “Just talked to a couple of the Daggers guys. They’re going to check the security cam footage from out front. See when Callum did it.”
“Good. Let’s clean this shit up.”
We’re there for over an hour, picking up every little note and putting them into a cardboard box. Weston and Sevan trade a few barbs but then seem to get along, at least for this moment, because both of them know there are bigger problems right now than their issues with each other.
Roman says we should keep each note in case we need evidence, but Niko points out that Callum likely specifically didn’t leave anything dangerous so that the police would be less likely to care.
“We found him,” one of the Daggers guys says, walking into Sevan’s room with a laptop in his hands.
He sets it down on Sevan’s desk and pushes play on a video.
It’s easy to make out.
The video is a little grainy since it was dark out at the time, but it clearly depicts a man in a black mask coming to the front door of Daggers house, using a code to get in the front door lock, and heading inside.
“Wait. Rewind it,” Niko says, frowning at the screen.
I move closer, putting my hand on his back, rubbing a circle there with my palm.
We watch the video again.
“Nothing identifying,” I say.
“That isn’t Callum,” Niko declares.
All of us turn to look at him.
“These notes are clearly from him, to you,” I tell him. “Half of them mention your name, and some even say miss having you around the house. It has to be him.”
“The notes are from him. But this man isn’t Callum. He’s 6’5. You saw him earlier. Does this guy look that tall to you?”
“This guy’s head is only a couple of inches above the outside lantern,” Hunter says. “He’s absolutely not 6’5.”
“Fuck,” Niko whispers. “Callum has other people doing this for him?”
The Daggers guy pulls a little device out of his pocket. “Brought up a spare webcam for you to put here in your room, Sevan. And I just ordered four more advanced cameras to put on every entrance. I doubt you’ll get targeted again tonight, but it’s worth a shot.”
“I hate this. I’m so sorry,” Niko says.
“It’s not your fault. Fuck this guy,” Weston assures him. “We’ll get to the bottom of this.”
Sevan glares at Wes. “Is that right? Sheriff Weston Knox? Why should we trust you to make sure Niko is okay?”
“Shut the fuck up, Sev,” Weston says. “I didn’t mean me. I meant all of us, especially Roman and my brother. Hunter helped us from the attacks earlier this semester. This is his bread and butter.”
Hunter nods. “Callum’s an amateur compared to the family that was after us. I’m on top of it, Niko.”
I hope he’s right.
The family that was after us before was more organized. Callum is scattered, amateurish, and less predictable.
Niko doesn’t seem to know how to respond.
Usually he’d be able to hide that vulnerable expression on his face, but the remaining ecstasy in his system has obviously been making it harder for him to hide anything, tonight.
I watch him nod, looking around at all the guys in here, and something clicks in my mind.
He’s never had this, has he?
I realize it quickly, like a punch to the gut.
I never had friends in high school, but Niko was surrounded by them. I always thought of him as a social king, but…
He’s not used to people actually helping him out like this.
His friends were partiers. Active addicts, always in search of another high. People who admired Niko for the value of his good looks and follower count, but probably never knew him on any deep level.
For a lifetime, Niko’s been used.
Now he’s actually being offered help.
For the next few minutes, he turns his attention to his cousin instead, asking him about a dozen times if he feels safe before going downstairs to the kitchen to grab two knives and bring them up.
“In case you need them,” Niko says, placing the knives on his desk.
Sevan gives him a bleak smile. “Am I going to cut him with a steak knife?”
“Maybe. If it’s necessary.”
“I’ll be fine. Go get some sleep, okay? It’s three in the morning.”
Finally we all file out.
Red Row is silent and dark under the moonlight. Niko holds my hand again for the walk back to Onyx House.
There’s so much I want to say, yet I don’t know how to bring up any of it.
The other guys head inside first, and Niko pulls me back, keeping me on the front steps of the house.
“I know people are saying this isn’t my fault,” he tells me, reaching a hand up to brush a lock of my hair from my face. “But I know it’s my fault.”
Shit.
He feels guilty.
“Don’t sweat it. These guys like a little action in their lives, I promise you.”
His dark hair blows in the wind.
His eyes are tired, and so soulful it takes me by surprise, all over again.
It still strikes me how handsome he is, even after seeing endless photos of him and spending time with him in person, too.
He has a mix of stark handsome features and soft beauty like no one else I’ve ever seen. The size of his pupils is starting to lessen, but I’ve never seen him look so grounded.
No posturing, no ego.
Niko Berlant with no mask. Something I’ve never seen before.
“I fucked up the winter formal for you, Ollie.”
“We danced for hours,” I tell him. “So many people saw us together. We took photos. We did everything I wanted.”
“You wanted it to be a perfect night. You deserved that.”
I wave a hand through the air. “Perfect is fucking overrated, isn’t it? Maybe I can handle it if things are a little fucked up.”
He exhales and draws me in close, pressing his lips to mine.
It never feels normal when I kiss Niko, because my body responds to him with such primal, almost shameful amounts of need.
But this kiss is even different than all of the ones before.
The first thing that catches me off guard is that it’s sweeter than anything I’ve felt from him. His mouth always feels a little needy, and this one is no exception, but he clutches me close and kisses me like he’s bringing himself back down to Earth from my touch.
I keep expecting him to pull away.
To realize that the other guys went inside a long time ago, realize that there’s no reason for us to keep kissing like this, his lips pulling on mine out in the cold like we’re a couple reuniting after a war.
When he does pull back from a breath, he still doesn’t move away.
He leans his forehead on mine and I can feel his breath against my skin.
“I want more for you, Ollie,” he murmurs. “You’re going home for Christmas break soon, right?”
A glint of light from the front of the house catches on the silver of his dragonfly necklace. I reach up and run my fingertips along it, remembering when I only used to see it in videos.
“I’m going back to my family home. Yeah.”
“Then we have to make tonight count. I want you to have more than this.”
“I don’t know what you mean by more, but I promise I don’t need you to do anything else.”
He exhales, gently gripping the front of my shirt for a moment. “Yes you do.”
“No. You’re doing enough, Niko.”
“I’m not going to let your night end like this. Come with me.”
His hand slides lower and intertwines with mine.
He tugs me forward like he wants me to follow him, and I don’t hesitate at all. I don’t question it, I don’t wonder what the hell he’s doing or where he’s taking me.
He’s like the ocean’s current and I’m just a sailor, waiting for the ride and unafraid of the plunge. I’m letting myself be pulled into him, and steering away from it would be unimaginable.
Let me know you.
Really know you.
Please.
“What happened to you?” I ask as we walk through campus.
He squeezes my hand. “That’s a story for another night.”
“Don’t keep things from me.”