Chapter 27 #2
“I found you. The last time I saw your mother, she was pregnant. And that’s true, but she was pregnant with your sister.
I thought you’d rebuilt your lives without me, that she’d forgotten me.
You ran out of the house, hugged her and stroked her belly.
You were wearing a pink dress and had two ponytails.
And you looked so happy. She did too. The last thing I wanted was to come into your lives and turn them upside down.
I thought you guys were happy with your new family—without me.
” His last words are barely audible. “I didn’t know, Ash. ”
I try hard to recall the moment my father is talking about. There weren’t many moments like that, except that I was still little and the bad situation took a dramatic turn after Zoe was born.
He was so close then...
I shake my head. “Why didn’t you want me to know about this meeting? And why the hell are you in contact with Ryker behind my back?”
“The more you know, the more danger you’re in, Ashley. You have no idea who you’re dealing with. I want you to be safe. I want to protect you.”
“As we know, it didn’t work out so well last time.” I growl with anger, feeling excluded. He doesn’t know me as well as I know him. He can’t know what kind of woman or person I am. And I’m more than capable.
“Maybe next time, save those who ask for your help. Look at me, Dad. This is the effect of your glorious mission to protect us. A girl who killed to earn rent. Who knows the names of murderers and thieves better than the names of her childhood neighbors. Do you think there’s anything else you can protect me from? ”
“You’re right, but you’re my only heir. I won’t apologize for needing to keep you safe. Even if it didn’t work out for anyone.”
“Ash is a tough girl, I assure you,” Ryker interjects, his hand on my lower back. “Besides, she has me.”
“That’s good. That’s very good.” My father nods. “But I wish you would do it more effectively.”
I take a moment to understand what he means. The marks from the attack are still fresh. “It’s not his fault. He wasn’t with me then.”
“Still...”
“He’s right, Ash,” Ryker says. “It shouldn’t have happened.”
A storm of emotions rages inside me. One moment, I’m sure of Ryker and his motives. The next moment, something happens that makes me doubt even my own instincts. I know one thing: the time is fast coming when Ryker and I will have to explain many things to each other.
“Who are you running from?” That question haunts me.
“Probably from the same man who put a price on my head.” Charles’s eyes rest on Ryker, as if he knows the answer.
So I turn to him too. My head’s so confused that I don’t know what to think.
I’m Shadow. I’ve seen liars, heard their excuses, recognized the tremor in their voices that betrayed their fear. Ryker doesn’t sound like an actor. He sounds like someone who has already paid a heavy price. And maybe that’s the worst part—that against my better judgment, I want to believe him.
“It’ll be easier if you tell me how you might have gotten on the bad side of a Pact, because I definitely don’t know the answer. That’s not how James Elliot works. That’s not how the Pact works.”
“Jesus,” my father gasps, rubbing his face with hands.
“I’ve been a damn politician, a senator.
I’ve done a lot of things that could piss someone off.
I blocked legislation that wasn’t in the people’s interest. I pushed through the ones that had pressure and money behind them.
Politics isn’t a playground; it’s a dirty fucking job.
No one’s hands are clean. Mine aren’t either. ”
I study him closely. Something flashes in his eyes. If I’d blinked, I wouldn’t have noticed it. “I think you know what this is about. What are you not telling us?”
Recognition in his eyes precedes a sigh. Finally, he gives in. “I worked hard to seal the border with Mexico during my term. It wasn’t convenient for the Pact or for—”
“Ismael,” Ryker finishes for him.
“But you’re not a senator anymore,” I cut in. “They didn’t take you out when you were, so why now?”
“Not because they didn’t try. They did. I’ve dodged death more times than I have fingers on my hands.
When I left... I made my successor promise to continue what I started.
I know the smuggling routes, the smugglers, and I had my man in Loco Muerte.
If I had to bet, I’d say Ismael is behind this contract. ”
The last piece of the puzzle falls into place.
“We have a little problem here. I’m not the only one with a contract on your head.” Ryker nods at me, and my father frowns.
“Ash?”
I shrug.
“Unbelievable.” Charles rubs his face again. “Ironic, isn’t it? What now?”
Ryker’s eyes are fixed on my face. A war raging within him.
He wants Aisling back at all costs, but she has no intention of being rescued and blames him.
She’s the bargaining chip on the short leash his father keeps him on.
I’m aware of the threats and the blackmail.
Thanks to them, he has made Ryker a perfectly obedient soldier.
On the other hand, there’s me, Charles Baker’s dirty little secret.
With a heavy sigh, I bow my head, the silence of the moment amplifying my resolve: the past won't force my finger to squeeze the trigger. Ryker knows it too. He’s the only one left on the battlefield.
First I feel, then I see Ryker’s warm hand clasped with mine, our fingers intertwined.
“You have less than a week to disappear from the surface of the earth. If you don’t, I won’t be responsible for the outcome. The next time we meet, you’ll simply be dead,” Ryker says.
“What about the consequences?”
“Leave that to me.”
Ryker pulls me lightly toward the exit. I stop, however, without turning around when I hear another quiet voice.
“Ashley?”
Looking over my shoulder, I don’t answer.
“I love you, my baby girl. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you. You’ve grown into a beautiful and strong woman. I’m proud of you, and I regret all the years I wasn’t there for you. This isn’t the end."
My father looks distressed and overwhelmed. He may think about me every day, but that won’t make up for my lost childhood, the hunger, or the blood I had to shed to keep myself and Zoe afloat. He may truly regret the past, but the future doesn’t look any brighter.
“You’re right; it’s not the end,” Ryker replies.
My throat tightens with emotion despite everything.
I hope not.
“See you, Dad.”