Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
KELLAN
“Wells, come look at the octopus,” Sammy says, already grabbing Wells’ hand and dragging him twenty feet ahead to where there’s a large tank. Joey follows closely behind them, never taking his eyes off of his little brother. I know the feeling.
Wells shoots me a glance back to make sure it’s okay, and once I give him a nod, he allows himself to be led away.
I walk slowly, taking a few seconds to myself.
In the soft blue light bathing the wide hallways, I feel like I can finally breathe for the first time in hours.
We’re at the New England Aquarium in Boston, which was where, according to Wells, he was going to bring me anyway.
Because he saw me watching a documentary on whales like a month ago, when I was mad at him but stuck in his apartment for the day.
He bought tickets for all of us at the door, even though I tried to pay for my brothers.
Then, he insisted that he was buying four piranha hats, whether we wore them or not.
I was dramatically outnumbered on shooting that down.
And Wells, who I’ve never even seen drink a soda, insisted that he and his new BFFs–his words–needed to try the Penguin Punch.
Isn’t it lucky that it just happens to come in a commemorative cup complete with cool holographic animals wrapped around it?
Which is how I’ve found myself in a fish-shaped hat that barely fits on my big head and holding four disgustingly expensive souvenir cups that were probably filled with Kool-Aid, feeling for a moment like my life isn’t falling down around me.
I can’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now.
Furious at Rick. Terrified for my brothers.
Frustrated beyond belief with my mom. And percolating underneath it all is a sensation that makes me feel like I’m falling, falling, falling…
that I’ve fallen for Wells. It’s unlike any sensation that I’ve ever felt before.
And I should be panicking, but I’m not. That’s the craziest part.
Instead, I’m watching him, holding one of Sammy’s hands and one of Joey’s, standing in between the two of them and listening as Sammy, mostly, yammers on about nature facts.
He’s actually the reason I was watching the whale documentary, since he’s obsessed with the ocean and I’m always trying to learn new things to share with him.
I smile when Wells’ picks Sammy up so that he can get a better look into the tank.
I misjudged him all those months ago–not that he tried to disabuse me of any of my opinions early on.
But we all have our defense mechanisms. And his is acting like a feral cat to try and scare people away before they can see that he’s injured.
With his trust has come him opening up to me.
Letting me see the ugly bits that he tries so hard to hide from the world.
Only, I don’t find them ugly at all. I think he’s beautiful, and my heart skips a beat every time he turns around to check in on where I’m at.
Which has happened at least three times in the last five minutes.
As the octopus moves, I see Sammy shimmy from his grasp and wander down the tank to follow it.
Good. I don’t want him to be afraid of the world.
When we got to the aquarium, both boys were superglued to our sides.
Unsurprisingly, they took to Wells like ducks to water, and it’s been interesting playing second fiddle for the last hour.
I walk up behind him and put my head on his shoulder. I can’t stand the idea of not touching him right now. “Learn anything fun?”
“Did you know that the giant Pacific octopus is the largest species of octopus in the world?” he asks seriously.
“I do believe I saw that on a sign, yes.”
“Dang. Here I thought I was going to teach you something new.”
I slip my arms around his hips, as people pass by us in the darkened hallway.
And maybe some people would care, but mostly, no one gives a shit.
And I wouldn’t give a shit right back if they did.
Everything with Wells feels too right for it to be wrong.
“I have to settle for you being smarter and more experienced with guys than me. You can’t have everything. ”
He leans into my hold, letting his weight rest against my chest. “You know more about hockey.”
I smile. “The bar is set pretty low on that one considering you’ve made it your mission to ignore everything about the sport for decades.”
He shrugs. “It’s the craziest thing, but I’m developing a newfound interest.”
I press a quick kiss on his jaw. “I wonder what prompted that?” I muse, watching as the octopus slowly crawls across its tank.
“Do you think that his tank is big enough? It looks kind of small as far as habitats go.”
“I didn’t realize that you were such an environmentalist.” And really, I’m learning new things about Wells every single day. He cares, a lot, even though he tries to hide it.
He sighs. “I just don’t like to watch needless suffering,” he says before smirking at me and adding, “usually.”
I side-eye him but pull him closer. “I hope I’m an exception to a lot of your rules.”
Relaxing against me again, I can feel his smile against my cheek. “Against all my best attempts to stop myself.”
My mom called me when we were about to leave the aquarium, but I told her that Wells and I were taking the boys for a late lunch.
I’m not trying to punish her. At least, I don’t think that I am.
All I’ve been thinking about is giving them a great day to hopefully balance out the shit show that was a few hours ago.
When they think back on today, I want them to remember fish hats and sugary drinks and hanging out at the aquarium.
Not that Rick, which Wells informed me as we were walking back to the car, backhanded Sammy when he accidentally spilled a beer.
Okay, so maybe I’m punishing her a little bit.
She’s the reason he was ever allowed back in the house.
He’d left. She was free and clear. I don’t even think his broke ass is on the lease.
All she’d needed to do was change the locks.
But no–she let that monster back into all of our lives. And look what happened.
We got back to Wells’ apartment less than an hour ago.
He insisted that the boys would be more comfortable here, and I won’t pretend that I’d rather have the conversation that’s about to ensue in front of my roommates.
After their sugar rush faded, the boys crashed out hard on Wells’ bed.
I texted my mom then. Now, I’ve been waiting.
“You’re a good brother, Kellan,” Wells says from next to me.
I run my hands across my face. “I don’t feel like a very good brother right now. I should have never let things get this bad.”
Wells reaches up to grab my hand, and I give into the comfort, even if I feel like I don’t deserve it.
“You shouldn’t be held to whatever decisions you made as a fourteen-year-old kid.
But you’re going to talk to your mom now, and if she isn’t willing to walk away from Rick, there are other options.
This day will never end with the boys in harms’ way.
” I look at him, confused, and I’m grateful when he explains.
I feel so out of my depth. “What Rick did was child abuse. We can call the police. We can call child protective services. We can get a temporary restraining order so that he can’t come back to the apartment.
And whatever we need to do in the meantime of all of that happening, we will. ”
I feel like I might throw up. This is all getting too real, but I’ll do whatever I need to do for Sammy and Joey.
Wells sounds so sure, though, like we can solve this problem.
I honestly don’t know what I’d be doing without him right now, and that’s the only thing that comes close to scaring me.
That I’m starting to really need him. Way more than as someone who makes me feel good in the moment before we go our separate ways.
I’m about to really start spiraling when the doorbell rings, and I stand up quickly to trade one problem for another.
I open the door as she rushes in, still in her waitress uniform, and I’ve never seen her look so grief-stricken before.
“They’re asleep in the bedroom,” I say when she can’t immediately lock them in her sights.
“Sleeping hard after a day at the aquarium.”
My mom looks around the apartment, and even if I want to scoop her up in a hug, I stop myself.
“What happened?” she asks, her voice still frantic.
“I tried to call Rick, but he’s not picking up my calls.
And all you told me is that we need to have a serious conversation but that the boys are okay.
You can’t just take them like this, Kellan. You’re not their dad.”
I wince, like I’ve been punched. Of course I know that.
But still, her words piss me off. “So, I can pay for their home. And I can be the only positive male role model in their lives. But I can’t get them out of a dangerous situation?
” I can feel my hackles rising, even as I will myself to stay calm.
“Rick hit Sammy, Mom. He hit him. Joey called me because they were alone in the apartment after Rick walked out on them.” I throw my hands out to my sides.
“Tell me, honestly, what did you expect me to do?”
I’m not surprised when my mom starts crying. Hell, I had to hold back tears multiple times today. But she needs to hear this. Her vision of a perfect, happy family doesn’t exist. The sooner that she can accept that, the better.
Wells moves next to me. “I can go to the other bedroom. Give you guys some privacy.”
I grab his hand and interlace our fingers. “Stay. Please.” I’ve already thrown my self-sacrificing facade to the wind, and I feel like I might fall apart if he leaves me right now.