Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
WELLS
“Well, well, Wells…” I look up from my desk in the tutoring office to see Reed leaning against the doorframe. “I needed to see for myself that you were still alive. Clearly, my fear was misplaced.”
I throw a pen at him. “Says the man that drops drunken hockey players at my apartment without a care in the world, only to abscond into the night and wash their hands of the problem they created.”
“That was over a month ago, and it seems like my unorthodox meddling led to positive outcomes.” He raises his brows and adds, “If judging by the way you’ve fallen off the face of the earth recently is any indication.
” Instead of scowling at him, which would be my usual reaction, I smile.
Which only makes him laugh. He crosses the small room and sits down in the chair across from me.
“I cannot believe I had to come to your place of work just to track you down.”
“It’s been a busy couple of weeks.” And that’s not doing it justice.
I’ve spent almost every night with Kellan since he had the tough but necessary conversation with his mom.
Just to soak as much of him in as I possibly can, but also because we’ve been going back-and-forth between my apartment and the hotel where his family has been staying.
If I didn’t drag myself away to my office, I wouldn’t get anything done.
Would you, if Kellan O’Reilly was constantly naked in your bed and looking at you with stars in his eyes?
Somehow, we’ve fallen into a rhythm that feels as easy as breathing.
We don’t talk about what could happen if he gets drafted and sent across the country, but for once in my goddamn life, I really am trying to go with the flow.
And part of that means tackling the problems directly in front of me instead of fixating on future hypotheticals and ruining a good thing because I’m scared.
Which means that between classes, tutoring, and waiting for a warm body to drape itself around me at about one a.m. every morning, I’m helping Kellan’s mom figure out how to move forward, sans Rick.
I don’t agree with all of the decisions that Tara’s made along the way, but it’s clear that she loves Kellan, and that she’s one-hundred-percent committed to making sure that her sons have the best life.
Which has been, since that day after the aquarium, wholly informed by what they tell her is best for them–not some abstract idea she has about the type of life they should be leading.
It’s been really overwhelming to see, even if it makes my own heart hurt a little bit at how different things are with my own parents.
Reed puts his elbow on the desk and rests his chin on his hand. “I am just dying to know what Wells in a relationship is like. I’ve been waiting years for this. Literally.”
I roll my eyes. “I wish I had something else to throw at you.”
Reed shrugs. “Occupational hazard of my curiosity. I’ve accepted it.”
“We aren’t… in a relationship.” But even as I say the words, they don’t feel right. If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck… it’s a Kellan-shaped duck that’s infiltrated every single facet of my life. I amend my previous statement. “Or at least, we haven’t labeled it as that.”
“You mean you haven’t asked him to go steady?” Reed teases before adding, “But really, man, I’m happy for you.”
I smile as warmth rushes across my skin.
Because I’m happy. And it’s not just because of Kellan.
I like being able to make an impact in people’s lives.
And I like being able to use some of my family’s money for things other than stupidly expensive apartments.
Not that getting Kellan’s mom to accept a few weeks worth of my credit card points to book a hotel was easy.
But besides finding the lead on a live-in property manager at one of my family’s apartment complexes, nailing the interview was all her.
We should hear back in the next few days, at which point she and the boys will hopefully be moving.
Which brings me to my next point of order. “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about something…”
Reed folds his hands on the desk. “You have my attention.”
And I know that whatever I tell Reed, he will genuinely keep it in confidence.
Even if we didn’t have attorney-client privilege, which I’m pretty sure doesn’t apply to a tutor and his best friend who’s pre-law anyway.
“I need to find a lawyer for Kellan’s mom.
A protective order and petition for full custody along with initiating a divorce.
I’m sure it’s not a need many college students have, but I was wondering if you were aware of any services that could possibly help?
Ideally ones that offer low-cost or pro bono work?
” Tara put her foot down on paying for the lawyer herself, since legal battles can drag out, and I’m respecting her wishes.
She and her oldest son are both very stubborn when they set their mind to something.
But it doesn’t mean that I won’t do everything in my power to help her wipe the floor with Rick–even though I don’t really think he’ll fight too hard for custody of the boys.
I watch as Reed absorbs my words. “Radford has a pretty great law school clinic. Give me a little time to check and see what our options are?”
I nod. “I really appreciate it, Reed.” I’m quiet for a second before I add, “I don’t know why you’ve stuck with me all these years, but I’m grateful for it.
And I hope that whatever you’ve been getting out of it was worth having to deal with my ass.
” Sure, there are things in my life that I wish were different, but I’ve been so intent on focusing on those instead of all the good that I’ve found–and that’s found me.
Reed is definitely included in that camp.
I’m expecting an uncomfortably emotional moment, the kind that I’ve been trying to get better at owning, but instead, he slaps his hand down on the desk. “Jesus. I need to bake Kellan a cake or something. Maybe banana bread because this shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”
This time, I do manage to find a pack of Post-It notes to lob at him. “I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone or something and we’ve switched places. I pour my heart out to you and this is what I get?”
He shrugs. “You’ve always been there for me, even if you have historically been a little…
prickly. But my dads always raised me to focus on what we can give back in this world, not what we can take.
I always had a feeling that you’d find your way.
I’m just glad I didn’t have to wait until you were like sixty for it to happen,” he finishes with a broad smile.
God, I’m a lucky bastard. And I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it.
Reed looks down at his phone. “All right. I need to get to class. Just needed to come see your evolved self in the flesh.” He throws his backpack over his shoulder and flashes me a grin. “I’ll check in with the law center and get back to you.”
“Thank you. Now get your ass out of here. I have a student coming in a few minutes anyway.”
He laughs and walks out the door, giving me the middle finger as he does.
When I finally make it back to my apartment for the night, Kellan is waiting inside the door.
I wasn’t expecting to see him until after work, so I’m confused but also elated.
And really, it’s a gorgeous fucking sight, a man in an apron greeting me as I come home.
Except that he has a nervous look on his face, like I’ve caught him at something.
And then, I hear the sounds of kids inside, along with sounds of someone else working in the kitchen.
“She made me promise not to tell you. She wanted it to be a surprise.”
I pull my beanie off my head as I step through the doorway.
In a parallel universe where Kellan hadn’t walked into my office last semester, unexpected people in my personal space would have me clenching my fists and trying to focus on my breathing.
Instead, I’m more interested in what the delicious smell coming from the kitchen is, along with what new ocean fact Sammy is likely to have ready for me.
I kiss his cheek. “All good, babe. What are we celebrating?” I ask as I drop my backpack next to the door and shed my coat.
Tara’s at the stove, and she gives me a bright smile. “I’m sorry to have roped Kellan into lying, but I really did want it to be a surprise. I hope that’s okay?” she says, hesitation soaked through her voices she finishes the question.
I see it then, I think. How Kellan must see his mom.
A woman who wants to give and share and love but who’s been beaten down for years by a world that makes her feel like every decision is the wrong one.
Especially men like Rick. I walk over to the stove and stand next to her, my voice low.
“Honestly, this is no problem at all. My parents would never do something like this, which makes it absolutely perfect.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile. “Kellan mentioned to me that you don’t talk to them much. I’m sorry to hear that, but I trust, knowing what a good head you have on your shoulders, that it’s for the right reasons.”
I get surprisingly emotional, a lump forming in my throat. Ever since I came out, I feel like I’ve been ping ponging between trying to fit myself into what my parents want me to be and pretending like it doesn’t matter that they’ll never accept the real me.
And it’s been fucking exhausting. My personal space has always been my solace because it’s where I don’t have to worry about how I feel versus what’s accepted. Who may see me and what their opinion is.
But Kellan’s family here–in my space like this, I don’t feel for a second like I have to hide myself or shrink.
Tara, for everything that she’s going through, has so readily accepted me into her son’s life–into the lives of all of her sons–and has never once made me feel like an outsider.
I’ve never gotten that type of inclusion from my own sterile family, and it hits me like a ton of bricks.
The warmth in the apartment. The sounds of Joey and Sammy enrapt as they watch television.
The clang of pots and pans before what I know is going to be an incredible meal.
This is a home, and I can feel it like it’s a living, breathing thing.
“I’m going to have the boys wash up for dinner,” Tara says, placing her hand on my forearm and rubbing it gently. “I’ll give you two a minute.”
She’s walking away while I’m wondering what she means, but when I take a deep breath, Kellan is already wrapping his arms around my back, enveloping me.
I lean into his solid frame and let him hold me up.
“Are you sure this is okay? All of us being here tonight?” he whispers in my ear.
“I can kick everyone out and we can order Chinese food.”
And I know he would, if I asked. But I don’t want him to leave. I don’t want any of them to leave. “This is honestly perfect, Kellan. You’re perfect.”
“I could say the same about you,” he says quietly.
“My mom got the on-site property manager job. They called her this afternoon. She was crying happy tears when she told me.” He holds me tighter.
“You made that happen, Wells. You’ve completely changed her life.
All of our lives, actually. In only a few weeks, you’ve gotten rid of the boogeyman that I’ve been afraid of for my entire life. ”
My breath escapes in a choppy exhale. Tears are prickling behind my eyes.
My feelings for Kellan are growing stronger every day, and soon, I won’t be able to tell myself that I can walk away if needed, when the time comes.
“Whatever I’ve done for you, you’ve done for me ten-fold, Kellan. Please know that.”
I’m not sure why, but I think about Carter.
We’ve talked sporadically since Christmas, but he made the last big overture, by seeking me out.
And for as much as I profess wanting to help people, he’s someone who I haven’t extended my hand to lift up.
It’s clear that he’s struggling. That he wants us to have a better relationship.
Suddenly, I’ve found myself with so much. And I want to share that with him, too.
The timer on the oven dings, and I wipe away a rogue tear that’s fallen free.
Kellan’s been holding me the whole time, mooring me to all the good. And the craziest part is that I already had a lot of it, but I was just too dense to see. I smile when he plants a soft kiss against my jawline.
I’m seeing things a whole hell of a lot more clearly now.