Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Palmer waited in front of her door of the Little’s Wing.
She twisted her new blanket around her fingers as she waited on Master Beau.
He was coming to pick her up and take her to breakfast and her classes today.
She was so excited. She hoped they could have dinner together again.
If he wasn’t busy. Or if he wanted to. Maybe he didn’t want to.
Palmer mentally kicked herself for getting too ahead of herself.
Master Beau might just be taking her to breakfast and class.
She should be grateful for what time she had with him and not be so selfish for more.
“Do you have ants in your pants, little one?” Master Alistair asked, his voice tinkling with amusement. He was filling in as the Dorm Top for the week.
“I don’t have on pants, Master Alistair.
” Her skirt bounced with her nervous wiggles.
It was the skirt Beau had left out for her to wear.
Getting dressed had been lots easier this morning since she didn’t have to make any choices and she actually felt cute.
The light wash denim skirt, soft pink unicorn shirt, and white sneakers made her feel just like a Little girl.
Master Alistair looked so shocked by her answer that Palmer felt her own eyes widen as she waited on the teacher’s response. Right before she opened her mouth to apologize, he spoke.
“I suppose you don’t, do you, honey.” He laughed, his deep voice carrying down the hallway. He tugged one of her curls playfully.
“There he is!” Palmer exclaimed before correcting herself. “There he is,” she whispered.
“I see him! He looks very happy to see you too, little girl,” Master Alistair said, nodding toward the approaching man.
His observation made Palmer feel like dancing.
She was so happy too. There were nerves too, of course.
What if she wasn’t what he wanted? Or what if she was too much or her feelings were too big?
What if it didn’t work out and she wound up alone again?
Oh no. Now she was jumping too far ahead again.
“Hey, now, I don’t like that frown on your face,” Master Alistair said, reaching out and stroking the wrinkles on Palmer’s forehead softly.
“Sorry, Sir,” she whispered, her face heating.
“You’re allowed to take up space and be excited, little one. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for happy things, Palmer.”
“It’s scary,” she admitted, meeting the older man’s eyes.
“I know, but you are the bravest Little girl I’ve ever met and I’ve met lots of Little girls,” he said, his tone full of pride.
Palmer found that strange. Why was he proud of her? “Thank you, Master Alistair,” she said, instead of what she was thinking.
The older man hugged her again. “Have a good day today, honey. Try not to worry too much, okay?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good morning, Palmer, Alistair,” Master Beau said. “Everything okay?” he asked, searching Palmer’s eyes.
“Yes, Sir. I was waiting on you.” Her voice was shaky with excitement.
Beau reached out, stroking her cheek before pulling her into a hug.
“I think she was a little nervous, but she’s being such a brave girl,” Master Alistair explained.
Releasing Palmer, Beau knelt in front of her. “Trying new things can be hard, huh?”
Palmer nodded. “Yes, Sir. I’m not really used to happy things.”
“Well, if we have our way, it will only be happy things for you going forward, honey.”
Beau was so sincere, Palmer found it almost impossible to worry about the future. It was different to have people caring for her. She wasn’t used to having anyone trying to help her and now there was an entire Ranch. It was a nice feeling.
“Are you ready to get some food in your belly?” Master Beau asked.
“Yes, Sir. Have a good day, Master Alistair,” she said before Beau took her backpack from her and then took her hand.
“You too, darlin’.”
“Thank you for waiting with Palmer, Alistair.”
“No problem. She is as sweet as pie. Y’all have a good day now.”
“You were a very good girl to wear the clothes I placed out for you,”
“Brittany gave me this bow to wear, but I wasn’t sure if it was okay.” Palmer pulled a soft pink bow out of her skirt pocket.
“Why weren’t you sure, sweet girl?”
“Well, you said to wear what you put out and you didn’t put out the bow so I wasn’t sure…
” Palmer trailed off. “Sometimes I’m too literal.
I’m sorry.” She thought back to this morning when she’d pointed out that she hadn’t even had on pants.
That was something she needed to work on.
She added it to the never-ending list of things she needed to fix about herself.
Beau guided her into the elevator before kneeling in front of her again.
“You never have to apologize, honey. Thank you for being a good girl and waiting on the bow because you weren’t sure.
That was an oversight on my part and I should have been more clear.
I picked out your clothes because I know sometimes making choices can be hard for Little girls, not because I want to control what you wear.
You’re always welcome to add things to your outfits that will make you happy. ”
Palmer nodded. “Thank you, Sir.”
“Would you like to wear the bow?”
Palmer nodded. She really did.
Beau slipped it from her hand and stood. “I think Brittany picked out the perfect color to match your shirt.” Beau slipped it into her curls and stepped back. “Precious.”
The elevator reached the ground floor and Palmer followed Beau off.
“We’re going to eat at the cafe today, little one.”
“Yes, Sir.” Palmer was excited. She hadn’t eaten there yet, even though they had an ice cream bar. She’d been too nervous. She did so many things by herself before coming to Rawhide, but now everything just seemed hard.
“What kind of things would you like to eat for breakfast?” Beau asked after getting settled at a table where they could look at the mountains. Palmer was surprised when he sat in the chair beside her and not across from her.
“I like anything, Sir.”
“Anything, huh?”
He shot her a brilliant grin and her tummy flipped. Palmer looked away, unsure what to do with the feeling. He tucked her blanket around her legs and she cherished the feeling of being cared for.
“How about liver and onions with a side of eggs?”
Palmer whipped her head back around to look at him in horror. She did not want to eat that for breakfast. She would if that’s what he asked of her, but she really hoped that wasn’t what he wanted.
Beau chuckled before setting a Littles’ menu in front of her. “I’m only teasing, honey. Not even the strongest stomached Big could eat that. How about some chocolate chip pancakes instead?”
He’d been teasing her? That was kinda silly. Palmer smiled. “Chocolate chip pancakes sound good.”
“Do you have any allergies, Palmer?”
“No, Sir.”
“How about milk to drink?”
“Okay, Sir.”
A young waitress Palmer recognized to be Claudia Marie came to take their orders and Palmer sat quietly looking out the window at the spectacular view while Master Beau placed their order. She liked not having to order for herself.
“Would you like that, Palmer?” Master Beau asked.
Embarrassed, Palmer hesitated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear the question.” Tears pricked her eyes. She was such a dummy. “I’m sorry,” she said again. He probably thought she was so rude.
“That’s okay, honey. I like the view too. It’s so pretty, isn’t it?” he asked as he turned her chair so she could see even more.
“I’d never seen the mountains before.” Palmer didn’t admit she hadn’t really been looking at the mountains.
“Before you came to Rawhide?”
She nodded.
“Where did you live before?”
“A f-foster home in Georgia.”
Beau turned her chair around again, this time to face him.
“That was hard, huh?”
“B-being in foster care?”
This time Beau nodded.
“Yes, Sir. It was really hard.”
“You know from my lecture I was also in the foster care system.”
“Was it hard for you too?”
Beau stroked her face gently and she leaned into his touch. “It was very hard. I often felt like too much and not enough at the same time.”
Palmer knew what he meant. She felt that way a super lots.
“Sometimes I still feel those yucky feelings crawling around inside my brain,” he said.
“I don’t know what to do. I never… I mean… I had to do so much, but now I’m here and everything is so much harder and I don’t understand,” she rambled. Thankfully, he looked like he understood.