Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Beau’s heart knew exactly what Palmer was saying. “You spent so much time taking care of yourself, you don’t understand why you can’t now. You think it shouldn’t be as hard because you’re not in constant danger now.”
Palmer nodded. “Master Derek said he thought I was in recovery mode.”
“I believe he’s right. Your body is so tired of fighting that it can’t anymore.”
“Did you feel that way too? Once you were out and safe?”
“Can I hold you, honey?”
Palmer’s eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded.
Wrapping his arms around her tiny body, Beau lifted her onto his lap and held her tight. “It breaks my heart to know you didn’t feel safe,” he said into her curls.
She wrung her hands nervously before settling them on his arms.
He wasn’t surprised touch was hard for her. “I didn’t have the burnout you’re feeling because I still needed to take care of my sister, but she did. Everything was hard once we were on our own. She struggled to do even the most basic task. It’s very common for people like you two.”
“I’m sorry she passed away.” Palmer rubbed his arm.
“Me too, honey.”
“Why didn’t it happen to you? ‘Cause you’re stronger, maybe?”
Beau chuckled. “I think I didn’t experience the burnout because taking care of people has always been in my nature. Once Ansley and I were on our own, I poured all of my energy into taking care of her and that healed part of me.”
“Maybe I need to take care of someone to heal me. I like to help people. Maybe it would be good for both of us.”
Smiling, Beau gave her another squeeze before settling her back in her chair. “Well, I think maybe you’d benefit from someone taking care of you.”
Looking down, she rubbed her finger across the table. “That’s kinda a lot to ask of someone.”
“It’s not a lot to ask of someone who wants to do it, honey. Caregivers long to take care of Little ones. To us being asked is a dream come true.”
Palmer sighed deeply through her nose and she bit her lip as she processed his words.
“I dunno,” she said finally, voicing her disbelief.
“I guess you’ll just have to trust me on it, huh?” Beau teased.
“Thank you,” Beau told Claudia Marie as she set their food and drinks down.
“Let me know if you need anything else,” she said, giving an adorable little curtsy.
Gah, was everyone at Rawhide extra adorable? Beau was starting to wonder if it was a requirement of the Ranch. He showed Palmer the smiley face pancake before cutting it into pieces for her. He applied syrup before sliding the plate to her.
“It’s a little warm, okay?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He stuck a pink bendy straw in her milk and slid that to her as well. She grinned when she saw it and looked up at him. He winked before taking a sip of his coffee.
“You know, you said I was ‘stronger’ than you because I’m a Dom, but that isn’t true, honey. It takes a lot of courage to let someone take care of you—to trust someone that deeply is very brave.”
“I don’t feel brave.”
“Well, I don’t feel like the most handsome man in the world, but clearly I am.”
Giggles spilled from Palmer and even though Beau knew he needed to urge her along so he could get her to class, he stilled, trying to draw the precious moment closer to his heart.
“Today you’re only going to three classes and then we are going to spend the afternoon together.”
“We are?” She bounced in her chair, wiggling in excitement.
Her red curls bounced with her movements and Beau took a mental snapshot, hoping to save the image forever.
Her hopefulness pulled at his heart and he remembered the days he’d wished he had someone making time for him.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a sip of his black coffee.
“We are. I love spending time with you.”
“Really?” Palmer asked, her body freezing and her eyes widening. “You like spending time with me?” She patted her chest as if to make sure he understood who he was talking to.
Fuck, she was going to kill him.
“Yes. I enjoy spending time with Palmer Presley. She is thoughtful, kind, obedient, honest, and a wonderful friend.”
“Oh.” She went back to eating her pancakes, but she held her shoulders a bit higher.
Beau wondered how confident she would be after receiving his steady praise. He couldn’t wait to see it.
“Miss me already?” Henley, Beau’s best friend, said when he answered his phone.
“Actually, yes,” Beau admitted. He did miss the six boys he’d shared a large part of his life with.
It still boggled his mind when he remembered the huge rock band paying him to come to their mansion in Tennessee to give his lecture to them and their team.
Despite their huge popularity, they were actually very chill and they’d all become close.
“Same. When are you coming back?” Henley, not one to talk about his feelings, asked.
“That’s actually why I called. I’m not.” The thumping of Beau’s heart sounded louder than the band. He was nervous waiting on his friend’s response.
“You’re not coming back to Tennessee? You’re kidding!”
“What do you mean he’s not coming back to Tennessee?
Give me the damn phone,” Cobain barked. Beau waited while the two fought over the phone.
He put them on speaker and set the phone down on the small table in his room.
After several minutes of scuffling, Cobain spoke.
“What the hell do you mean you’re not coming home? ”
Beau shouldn’t be surprised Cobain, of all people, was skeptical. He was untrusting and endlessly questioned the life choices of anyone he considered a friend.
“I accepted a full-time job at the Ranch.”
“That’s great!” Henley said.
“What’s great?”
Beau pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling frustrated. It looked like his closest friends had been in a full rehearsal when he called. He’d been hoping to avoid all of them being together.
“What’s great?” Fender asked again, more impatiently that time.
“Beau accepted a job at the Ranch,” Cobain filled in.
“Did you meet a Little? I knew you would! Tell us about her!” Bowie demanded.
This time, Beau smiled. Bowie had a way of making people smile even in the middle of frustration. He wasn’t a Little, but he just had that innocence about him that reminded Beau of one.
“Bowie, if Beau met a Little, he will tell us about her on his own time, okay?” Cobain said, gently. Bowie also had a way of making the stompy giant surprisingly calm.
Not for the first time Beau wondered if the grumpy bassist had a thing for the band’s sweet drummer.
“How do we know they didn’t kidnap you and now you’re trapped in some cult?” Cobain asked.
“Oh no! A cult?” Bowie repeated.
“He’s not in a cult. Cobain, seriously?” Lyric, the band's keyboardist, scolded. “That’s amazing news, Beau!”
“We’re really happy for you, Beau,” Hendrix, the leader and one of the vocalists of the rock band, Daddies of Mayhem, said.
Suddenly the line was much quieter and Beau assumed Hendrix stepped outside.
“I took Henley’s phone. I could tell they were getting too rowdy.”
Laughing, Beau thanked him. “I was calling because I was hoping to cash in on the favor Henley owes me.” After bailing him out of jail last month, the rockstar still owed him.
“I’ll see he fulfills his commitment. What did you need?”
“I was hoping he’d mail me a few personal things from my house.” They were Ansley’s things and Beau’s fingers itched to touch them again.
“Sure. You can email me the list and I’ll make sure it gets done.”
His voice was gentle and Beau figured he’d realized why the items were so important to him. “Thank you so much, Hendrix. I really appreciate you.”
“No problem. Any reason you’re not coming back to get the items yourself?”
Beau didn’t miss the smugness in the man’s voice. “You’re just as bad as the rest of them,” Beau accused.
“I am,” Hendrix admitted without the slightest bit of shame in his tone.
“I met someone and I’m worried about what leaving for a few days will do to her already fragile heart.”
“Congratulations, Beau. I’m so happy for you. You deserve this, man.”
Suddenly hit with a wave of emotion, Beau cleared his throat. “Thank you, Hendrix.”
“It’s time you did something for yourself, man. It’s time for you to live too.”
Beau closed his eyes, his face tilted towards the warm sun. A gentle breeze blew his curls back and he smiled, giving himself permission to be happy without the guilt. It was time for him to live his life now.