Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
“D-Do you want some help?” Palmer asked, studying a Little girl in the Butterfly room closely. The Little girl looked so sad. Her eyes were glossy with tears, and her lower lip trembled. It pulled at Palmer’s heart.
“I-I miss my Mommy,” the girl whispered.
Palmer’s own chest tightened. She knew that feeling, she missed Beau so much and he’d only been gone a short while. Making her apple pie had been a nice distraction, but once she was done, her sad feelings had come back.
“That’s okay,” Palmer said gently. “I miss my Daddy too.”
The Little girl looked down to the metal bowl of ingredients in front of her. Her hands hovered uncertainly over the plastic mixing spoon. “Can you help me?” she asked. “I wasn’t really listening when Chef Connor was giving us directions.”
Palmer nodded immediately. “We just need to stir all your ingredients together, and then scoop them into your pie dish,” she explained, trying to make her voice quiet. She didn’t want her new friend to get into trouble for not listening. That was naughty!
The Little girl plunged her spoon into the mixture. “Remember, we need to be gentle.” Palmer mirrored the motion with her own spoon. “Slow and steady,” Palmer said when the ingredients came too close to spilling over the top. Palmer didn’t want a mess either. Yuck!
“Slow and steady,” the girl repeated.
“What’s your name?” Palmer asked as they stirred.
“Heather. What’s yours?”
“Palmer.”
“Is my first day,” Heather shared. “We’re on a ‘cation for six days!”
“Wow! That’s a lot of days.”
“We came for my birthday,” Heather said, nodding.
“That’s so exciting! What day is your birthday on?”
“Thursday!” She bounced on her toes.
“Thursday is so close,” Palmer encouraged. “How old will you be?”
“Five,” Heather said, holding out four fingers.
Palmer giggled and took Heather’s hand, helping her unfold her thumb. “One, two, three, four, five,” she counted for the Little girl.
Heather grinned sheepishly.
“I think we can put your mixture in the pie dish now,” Palmer said, modeling how to scoop the mixture into the silver dish.
“Like this?” Heather asked.
“Yes, great job!” Palmer praised.
“You’re really nice,” Heather said softly, looking up at Palmer with wide, grateful eyes. “I was worried nobody would be nice to me and that I wouldn’t make any friends. But you were nice to me and you helped me.”
Palmer felt her cheeks heat up. “Thanks,” she said, unsure of how to receive the praise. She scooped another spoonful before helping Heather pat down her mixture. “Now we can ask Miss Price or Miss Samantha to help us put it in the refrigerator.”
“I am here to assist you Little ones,” Chef Connor said. “I’ve been watching you two and I think you might be natural pie makers. If I ever need help in the kitchen, I know who to call.”
Palmer looked down quickly, brushing the toe of her sneaker across the tile floor.
Praise still made her feel exposed, but the warmth in Chef Connor’s voice made it a teenie-tiny bit easier to accept.
She liked to think each compliment, big and small, was like a little chisel, slowly loosening the bricks her past built up.
“Is Master Beau your Daddy now?” Becky asked.
The two Little girls were sitting side by side coloring apple pictures.
Heather sat across from them coloring too.
Palmer was so happy she’d stayed. It had been scary, but she’d had lots of fun too.
Becky, Heather, and Palmer had played in the dramatic play area for a long time.
The dollhouse was Palmer’s favorite part of the whole preschool room.
Palmer smiled, her heart flip flopping at just the mention of Beau. “He is.”
“That’s so exciting!” Becky lifted her arms over her head in a cheer.
“So exciting,” Heather agreed. She lifted her own arms over her head, exposing her round tummy.
Palmer carefully selected the best red crayon for her picture. Maybe Beau could put it on the refrigerator when she got home.
“I live with him now,” Palmer said after a moment of silence.
“No way!” Becky exclaimed, her eyes going wide.
Palmer giggled and nodded.
“I’m so happy for you!” Becky squealed.
“Me too! I don’t know him, but you look so super happy so he must be a good man,” Heather added before picking up a yellow crayon.
Palmer bit her lip. Apples weren’t daffodil yellow.
Maybe Heather didn’t know what colors apples should be.
Or maybe she was rebellious and didn’t follow the rules of coloring.
Palmer reached over and gently slid the blue crayon away from Heather just in case she decided to be willy-nilly and color an apple blue. That would be absolutely unacceptable.
“He is a good man and Palmer is such a good girl. They’re a perfect pair,” Becky said.
Touched by their words, Palmer smiled. “Thank you.”
“We’re really glad you’re here with us, Palmer.”
Becky’s statement was so genuine that Palmer couldn’t help but believe it. Palmer bit her lip, trying to work up enough nerve to ask the question that kept plaguing her. “Why?” she finally blurted out.
Becky blinked a few times. “Why what?”
“Lots of people have said that they’re glad I’m here and it makes my heart so happy when they say that to me.
” Palmer twisted a curl around her finger as she tried to find her words.
“But I don’t understand. Why are you glad I’m here?
You just met me and.. I haven’t even done anything for you to. .. like me.”
Becky frowned and set her crayon down. “When you come to Rawhide, you become part of our family, and family just loves each other. They don’t need a reason. They just do,” she explained simply.
Palmer reflected over Becky’s words.
“But I do think you make Rawhide Ranch better,” Heather said, looking at Becky.
“Yeah. That’s definitely true. Your kindness really adds sparkle to Rawhide,” Becky agreed. “You have a way special way of seeing people and making them feel safe.”
Palmer thought about Becky’s words, letting them sink in. Her chest felt a little lighter. A tiny bit of pride started to bloom where her nervousness had been.
“I think maybe you are looking for reasons to earn our love here, but you don’t have to do that. Ever. We love you because you’re ours,” Becky added.
Palmer played with the edge of her coloring page. “Thank you, Becky.”
Becky smiled. “A lot of us have been where you are,” she explained patiently. “Some of us came from bad places too—places where love wasn’t available. And others came from places where love had to be earned—it definitely wasn’t unconditional.”
Palmer took a deep breath and looked Becky in her eyes. She knew what her friend was saying was going to be profound to her healing.
“So we understand how scared you are, scared of messing up, or maybe scared of losing all the good you just found,” Becky added.
That was exactly how Palmer felt.
“But I promise you with all my whole heart that won’t happen here, Palmer. You’re safe, and loved, and ours.”
Palmer tucked Becky’s words in her pocket along with her Daddy’s. She thought maybe on dark days, she’d pull them out and reflect on them.
“Oh, what pretty pictures, little ones,” Miss Samantha said as she walked to the edge of the art table. “I love all the bright colors you’re using.”
“Thank you, Miss Samantha,” Palmer said.
“Thank you, Ma’am,” Becky added.
“Tanks!” Heather said.
“Heather and Palmer, did you have a good first day?” she asked.
“Yes, Ma’am. I’m glad I stayed,” Palmer said.
“I had fun too.” Heather nodded.
“I’m so glad to hear that. Do you feel like you will be back tomorrow?” she asked, kneeling down.
“I will, my Mommy said so,” Heather answered confidently.
“I don’t know, Miss Samantha,” Palmer answered, frowning. “I would like to come back, but I don’t know what Daddy’s schedule for me is.”
Miss Samantha smiled thoughtfully. “You know what? I have a monthly calendar that has all the fun things we're doing this month on it. Do you want to take it home for you and your Daddy to look over so you know what days you don’t want to miss?”
Palmer nodded, enthusiastically. “Yes, please.”
“Let me grab you one, sweet girl.”
Palmer kicked her legs while she waited on Miss Samantha to bring her the paper. “Thank you,” she said, taking it from her and looking over the days left in May.
May 14th National Dance like a Chicken Day
May 17th Crazy Sock Day
May 20th National May Ray Day—Bring your Sunglasses and Sunscreen
May 24th Pizza Party Day—Bring your Favorite Pizza Topping
May 28th National Flip-Flop Day
The activities sounded so fun! Palmer could almost picture herself dancing around the classroom like a chicken or letting Beau dress her in crazy socks. But when her eyes reached the last date on the page, her stomach twisted suddenly. May 28th National Flip-Flop Day.
Her chest tightened and anxiety climbed its way up her spine.
Palmer picked up a black crayon from the table.
She leaned over the sheet and scribbled thickly across the words on her paper until they were illegible.
There, that’s better! Palmer stood from her chair and quickly found her unicorn backpack on the hooks.
After unzipping it, she shoved the paper inside, closed her bag and rushed back to her friends.