Chapter 2 Zach
ZACH
I’m sitting in the passenger seat watching out the windows for anything out of the ordinary.
We enter the square that doesn’t look anything like it did almost two years ago.
The buildings have been partially rebuilt, and Maya and Securities International have added a park with a garden and benches.
The planter we took cover behind is still there in the center and full of plants.
A stone chair sits next to it. The chair looks exactly like one James used to sit in while reading books in the library at Maya and Duncan’s house.
Dr. Jen’s clinic is no longer in the building.
She and her practice moved to the other side of the city in a more secure location.
The memories of the loss and the fact so many more people could have been killed or injured were too much for her.
We all are grateful only two died from our family, but that was still two too many.
All the gunmen who came after us died that day.
I don’t regret anything I did because I know I saved lives.
Families move through the park to the fountain.
One day maybe I’ll bring Dane here and tell him what I did.
I hope Nikki and I can have more children, but like I told her, I’d be happy with Dane and Piper.
My eyes move to the driver’s seat where Luca is sitting.
For months I was angry with him, but I was the one who pushed him that day.
I was the one who made him say those words.
I knew he liked her. He might even love her.
But us men aren’t always the smartest when confronted with our emotions by the woman we care about.
I had only hoped he would actually confess he cared.
I hadn’t expected him to deny it so fiercely.
I hadn’t expected her to hear it. And I sure as hell hadn’t expected her to run.
I know Nikki blames herself. She needs to know that Luca cares. She needs to heal from this because if she lives with this fear too much more, it’s going to eat her up from the inside out. It’s probably why we haven’t been able to get pregnant yet. Not her injuries from her attack.
We pull up to the new clinic, and I look around before I step out and open Nikki’s door.
She’s dressed for the office in a black pantsuit with a jade shirt on under her jacket.
The color makes her emerald eyes stand out more.
She has the sleeves of the jacket pushed up over her elbows, showing not only her beautiful tattoos on her forearms, but if you look closely, you’ll see the scars.
She has gotten much better about being open about the assault and her past.
When I reach out for her, I look over her head again and make sure she’s safe.
Luca moves around the SUV toward us. He’s in a suit and looking very professional, while I’m more laidback in jeans with a leather jacket and a Henley.
I don’t dress up in a suit unless I absolutely have to.
When I was guarding Katherine, I always had to dress in suits or tuxedos.
Add in my time in the service, I now like to be comfortable as the team’s primary sniper.
My hand slides against Nikki’s back and she trembles slightly.
I can’t wait until we get the all-clear to make love again.
I miss her. I miss the connection we have.
In the years we were apart, I never had that same connection with anyone else that I have with her.
I’m a little over the top with the fact that she has only ever been with me.
She never dated any other men when we were apart.
She was always mine, and if I’d paid attention better, I would have known that.
But then we wouldn’t have Dane and Piper. We wouldn’t be the people we are now.
I watch as she walks up to the counter and checks in.
Luca takes a seat, and I stand waiting for her to make her way back to us.
Women are checking out Luca, but he ignores them and messes around on his phone.
I know he is keeping an eye on the room and the people, none of them noticing him doing so.
It’s a trick most of us close protection guards learn.
I’m proud of how far Luca has come, but I still worry his thirst for revenge on the man who killed his parents consumes him. That is the work he does on the side.
“Mr. and Mrs. Scott,” a nurse calls our name, and we stand.
My chest swells with pride that she gave her name as mine.
We aren’t married yet. She won’t marry me until Piper can stand up with us.
I get it, but if she becomes pregnant, I’ll be working overtime to get Piper home or us to her because I won’t let my child be born without Nikki being mine.
I want to talk to her about giving Dane my name too.
“Hello, Nikki and Zach,” Jen says as she steps into the room we are waiting in.
It’s not an exam room but an office, and it makes me start to question this appointment.
I wonder if I shouldn’t have let her go through this.
I don’t want a setback in her progress; I couldn’t stand to see her suffer anymore though.
She’s watched so many of the ladies on the compound have babies and took all their maternity and baby photos.
Every month I’d watch her get excited in the hope it would be the month she got pregnant until finally I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Hello, Jen.” Nikki’s voice breaks me from my thoughts, and I reach across the space between us to hold her hand. I can feel how tight her body is in worry and dread.
Jen smiles. “I’m excited to tell you that you both should be able to get pregnant. I don’t see anything wrong at all. I even consulted with our infertility specialist here. I can have him come in and talk to you if you’d like.”
I look at Jen. Her long blond hair is pulled back into a ponytail hanging down her back. She’s in a dress under her pale blue lab coat.
“As you know, I’m a perinatologist, not a reproductive endocrinologist, but I do have one on staff here now. Because of our friendship, I thought you’d want to hear this from me instead of him. Dr. Jonas has set up an action plan that we hope helps you,” Jen continues.
“Why haven’t I gotten pregnant yet?” Nikki’s voice sounds soft, and I can hear the tears ready to come out. I hate when my girl cries. I want to pull her into my lap. With that thought, I can’t help myself. I reach between us and lift her up and plop her down on my lap.
“Zach, put me down.” She fights me.
That’s better. I’d rather her be angry with me than sounding so lost and alone.
“Nicole, you’ve been through a lot in the last year.” Jen tips her head to the side, sympathy clear in her tone. “The damage to your system does make it more difficult but not impossible. Your hormone levels are good. Can I ask you some questions?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Did your cycle start yesterday? You stated it’s normally regular, but have you had times when it wasn’t?”
“Yes, I started yesterday afternoon.” Nikki looks down. “There has been a few months when it’s been late.”
“You thought you were pregnant, didn’t you?”
“Well, yeah.” My arms tighten around her body because I remember those months. She would cry so hard or close me out.
“Okay, we are going to start with you not worrying about this anymore. I know that’s a huge thing to ask, but let me worry.
After thoroughly going through your medical records and the test results, we think you are releasing eggs, but it’s all a matter of timing.
So we are going to help you with that. We are going to get a baseline ultrasound today, and tomorrow you are going to start on some meds.
Take them at the same time every day for the next five days. ”
“What is it?” I ask before Nikki can.
“It’s a hormone to help with ovulation; it will boost the production. There are some side effects though. That’s if you want to go forward.”
“What side effects?” I ask as Nikki nods her head in affirmation. She wants to do this no matter what, but I won’t jeopardize her health.
“Nausea, headaches, hot flashes, mood swings, and it can cause multiple eggs to release. The worst we will be looking out for is ovarian cysts. So next month we’ll perform another ultrasound. Do you want to do this?”
“Yes. I’ll do anything.” Nikki confirms my fears that she doesn’t care about what it will do to her.
“I’m not sure.” My voice deepens. I’m worried about her. I can’t lose her. I’ve lived without her before, and I wasn’t whole.
Nikki turns to look at me, her hands holding my face. “Zachy, I can handle all those side effects. We can try this for a month or two.”
“Well, only a month,” Jen says. “If it doesn’t work, we have thoughts for what to do next. But we’ll cross that bridge when it comes.”
“Fine, we’ll do it.”
Jen directs us to another room where they do an internal ultrasound. Then, we head back to the compound after getting the meds from the clinic’s internal pharmacy.
After dinner I help Dane with his homework while Nikki cleans up the kitchen. Jen told us we could resume regular sex now because they didn’t need another specimen from me. My boys are working good, they just aren’t getting to her eggs on time.
“Zach, can I call you Dad?”
My breath seizes in my chest. I’ve been here with this young man for almost two years.
He is so much like his mom, not his biological mom but Nikki.
He’s smart and is a member of his school’s debate team, but he also plays sports and studies martial arts with all the people around here on the compound.
“Buddy, that’s up to you. I’d be honored if you wanted to.”
“I’m just wondering because if you and Mom have a baby, it would seem weird if that baby calls you Dad but I don’t.” His voice cracks, he’s at that age.
“Dane, I never told you that you couldn’t call me Dad.” I clarify for him.
“I know, but I wanted to ask first. You don’t think it’s weird that I’m a teenager and your son?”
“No, buddy.” I shake my head as I chuckle softly. “If things had been different, you’d be mine. You’d have my name.”
“He could still have your name.” Nic’s voice comes from behind us.
I turn to look at her and see her twisting her hands around and not looking at me.
“You are listed as his father on his birth certificate. I needed to know he would be taken care of.” She rushes the words out, and I’m in motion across the room and take her into my arms.
“I have a son.” Tears clog my throat. I’ve had a son.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it just kept getting pushed back,” Nikki says against my chest.
“Zach is really my dad?” Dane tries to wrap his arms around us.
At only five foot two, the same height as Nic, his arms aren’t long enough yet.
I slip my arms around all of us. My family.
I thought I lost them when my parents and then grandparents died, but I’ve always had Nic as my family.
I hold them tight, absorbing the fact I’ve had a family all along.
When we finally climb in bed later, I hold her in my arms as she starts to drift off.
“Nic, I love you. I’m serious, you don’t have to do this. No matter what, you are mine and I’m yours. You have always been mine.” She rolls over to look up at me. Her small body fits against mine.
“Zach, I love you too, but I really want to try this.” I feel her smile against my chest and hold her closer as we drift off.