Chapter 3 Nikki
NIKKI
It’s been one week since we saw Jen. We didn’t tell anyone what we had planned or what is going on.
Mostly because I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but also, because again, I don’t want my team to look at me differently.
Keeping our secret might be difficult soon as my mood swings have been beyond control the last couple of days.
I also have hot flashes. Derek just caught me with my head in the freezer in the office kitchen.
I couldn’t help it, I thought I was on fire.
After another misconnected call to my office meant for Daniella, I’ve had enough. I stomp out to the front desk where my mom was hired to replace Callie as the receptionist. I round the corner and don’t pay attention to who is standing around.
“Excuse me, but don’t you know how to transfer a call? It’s not that hard. Hit a button, dial the extension, then hit connect. If you don’t know whose extension is whose, you can use the cheat sheet in front of your eyes, or are you too old to read without your glasses?” I rail at my own mother.
“Nicole Alicia Russell, how dare you speak to me that way?” My mother stands from the desk, her body vibrating with anger. I don’t back down; I stand up straighter, needing to find an outlet for all this emotion.
“I dare. You’ve sent three calls to me that were meant for Dani. Not me. But I do see that you know my name. Look on the sheet if you have issues with your memory,” I yell.
“I’ll have you know that I took the morning off. I wasn’t working the front desk.”
“You’re here now and I just had a call.” I don’t admit I was wrong. Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone moving toward us, and I turn.
“I was helping out at the front desk. I sent that last call to you. I’m so sorry. I kept misdialing the extension.” Luca steps forward.
“You!” The bitterness in my voice is like venom. “You can’t guard people. You can’t work an extension phone. What can you do? What are you doing working here if you are so incompetent?” I growl at him. I hear the gasps around me, but I don’t stop. I finally have someone I can spew this anger on.
“I guarded Piper very well for a long time. You’re right though, this was my first time using a multi-extension phone, and I didn’t know what I was doing. Again, I am sorry.”
“You’re sorry. You are sorry. My daughter is gone because of you.
I’m sick of hearing ‘I’m sorry.’ I want you gone.
I don’t want to look at you anymore because every time I do I think about my daughter and how much I miss her.
How she would be here now if you hadn’t said those things.
If you hadn’t broken her young heart by leading her on while you were dating Callie. ”
His body locks up tight with each point I make. “I could leave if you wanted me to.”
“No,” is growled from behind me, and I recognize Raul’s voice.
“Of course, your own brother would want to keep you around.” I wave my hand toward him. “You only have this job because of him.”
“Nic, stop.” Zach’s voice breaks through the red haze, but I can’t stop now. I need to get this out.
“Why? Why did you have to lead her on? Why did you hurt her?” The emotions are too much, and tears start to roll down my face.
“Nicole, stop, it wasn’t his fault.” My mother tries to come toward me, but I hold my hand up, stopping her.
“You don’t know what it’s like. How it feels to know my child is out there hurting and I’m not there to make it all better. How every call could be the call where they tell me she’s gone.” I turn on her, not caring about the words coming from me.
“Yes, I do,” she says softly, and everyone turns toward her.
She does know. Oh God, what did I say? The pain in my chest is like a punch.
“Julie ran away in the dark of night with the man who eventually killed her. I got that call you dread. I know that pain. But remember Piper is an adult, Jules wasn’t even legal.
Piper made the choice to leave. Remember that you know that Piper is at least safe.
That she called you once. I never got that call.
I never knew I had a granddaughter. That Jules was pregnant with Dane.
I’ll always wonder what I could have done differently.
You didn’t do anything wrong; she just needed to get away.
” The tears come harder at her words. She moves toward me and takes me in her arms. I hold her tight as the pain bleeds from me.
She’s right, I know Piper is safe. She never knew with Jules.
“I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it. It’s these damn hormones,” I sob against her chest as she rocks me.
“Hormones?” She pulls away and I realize what I said. I look up at her and bite my lip.
“Um, yeah. I started hormone therapy to help me get pregnant,” I confess as I drop my head. No matter how old I get, her hugs still make me feel safe and loved.
“Alright, buddy.” I hear a voice and turn to see Derek thumping Zach on the back. I hear more movement and turn to see Luca moving out the office door.
“I’ll be back.” I pull from my mom’s arms, not hearing what she is saying as I chase after Luca. I promised Zach I would at least listen to him.
“Luca, wait,” I yell for him just before he reaches his car. He stops.
He’s a grown man and I treated him like a child.
“I owe you an apology and the chance to explain.”
He keeps his back to me.
“I owe you an apology,” he says. “I should have come to you sooner, but I’ve been lost and not sure how to explain without losing my job.
” He turns to look at me. “I never wanted to hurt her. But I couldn’t let anyone know we were in a relationship.
I loved her. I still love her. If she’d take me back and forgive me, I’d be a happy man.
” His confession takes me by surprise. “From the first moment I saw her, I knew I wanted her. But she was so young. So full of life and full of plans. I didn’t want the hate in my heart at the time to change her.
But she knew about my pain. She told me everything she went through watching Edmund kill her mom.
She pushed me to smile and look at life again.
To not give up after my parents’ deaths.
I don’t want to avenge them anymore. I do, however, want revenge against the men who came after her to make her run.
I’ll grovel for the rest of my life if she wanted me to.
But I just want to know she’s safe and happy without me before I walk away for good. ”
“But what about Callie? You had dinner with her.” I know this because Carter told me. He told me he had confronted Callie about Luca.
Luca looks at me carefully, as if he’s deciding what to tell me.
“I did.” He holds up his hand when I open my mouth to argue.
“But it wasn’t what you think.” He shakes his head.
“Callie was and is a friend. She needed someone to talk to, and that’s all that happened.
Nothing else. She was the only one who knew Piper and I were together.
Well, besides Mik.” He chuckles. She was mad at him for a long time but isn’t anymore.
There are still things Mikayla isn’t telling me about my daughter.
“Why didn’t you tell us after she left?” I move closer to him.
“I couldn’t. I didn’t want Maya and Joshua to remove me from Piper’s detail.
I couldn’t be away from her. The last fifteen months, two weeks, and five days I’ve only lived half a life without her in it.
If I couldn’t be with her and knew another man was guarding her, I’d lose my mind.
I’m surprised I haven’t. I wake up every day and look for her.
I go to sleep every night worried about her.
” The pain in his words washes over me and I move toward him. I wrap my arms around him.
“I’m sorry, Luca. I’m so very sorry. Please don’t leave. We can look for her together.”
“You better be hugging her as a friend or I’m going to break your arms.” Zach’s voice comes from behind me.
Luca’s arms drop and he chuckles. “Dude, she’s all yours.” He reaches down and lifts my chin. “Nikki, I’ll stay but only if you can work with me. I can’t live like this anymore.”
“I can. I will. I’m just a crazy woman right now. It’s his fault.” I throw my hand out and smack Zach in the chest as he chuckles.
“This was all her idea. But if she gets pregnant, we better double down on our efforts to find Piper. I’m not having my kid born without my name.
” Zach laughs harder and I look up at him.
“Maya said go home and get in a better mood or you’re fired.
” I take his hand and we turn to walk away. I stop and turn back to Luca.
“Luca, I’d trust you to be my guard any day.” I sniffle as Zach lifts me up into his arms and walks toward his Bronco.
When we get back to our house, Zach proceeds to make love to me until I’m in a better mood. Well, sort of, I’m exhausted and asleep before dinner.