Chapter 31 Kat
Asouvenir.
My mind races as I try to think of what she might possibly want from Carter, but each idea is stranger than the last, and eventually I push the thought away.
She can take whatever she wants from him; I couldn’t care less.
Honestly, she could have never brought him here, and I would have been just fine.
I don’t need him dead; I just need him to leave me alone.
Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that’s only wishful thinking to believe that’s even a possibility.
I know Nathan and Vince don’t believe it. I saw it in the way they looked at him.
Carter is going to die at their hands, and while I hate the thought of them doing all of this for me, I can’t deny that it also feels good.
Does that make me a monster?
I sure hope not, but even if it did, I can’t help how I feel.
The only thing that really worries me is the fact that one of them will be a murderer. What if they get caught? What if they go to jail and I never see them again? What if they take Addison away because of it?
I make it into my room and let the door fall closed. Pressing my back to the cool wood, I force myself to breathe.
Vince asked me to trust him to take care of us, to protect us, and I do. Oli said that they want me to learn to lean on them and trust them, and it might be stupid, but damn it, I do.
Whatever they want to do with him, I don’t care.
“Kat.” The voice on the other side of the door startles me out of my thoughts, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s Des.
I take a deep breath and try to force a calm I don’t really feel as I turn the knob and pull the door open, only to find it’s not just Des, but Oliver too.
“Hey, Kitten, are you okay?” Des’s voice is soft, and while they both look like they want to reach for me, they remain where they are, standing in the hall as if waiting for me to invite them in.
I want to.
I’d much rather have them here with me than be alone, but I can’t.
Am I okay?
His question rings in my ears, and the longer we stand here, the more I realize I’m not, but also, they care.
They care enough to follow me up here to check on me, to fight against their own wants to ensure my needs are met.
Not to mention the fact that they were ready to pay what I’m sure was a hefty fee to get their hands on Carter and every other thing they’ve done for me since the day I met Oliver during Addy’s pickup.
I could never repay them, but looking at them through my tear-blurred eyes, I know they’d never ask me to.
A sob catches in my throat as I shake my head, trying and failing to keep it together.
“It’s okay not to be okay, Sunshine.”
I’m not sure if it’s his words or the damn nickname, but that does it.
Tears roll down my face, and I’m moving before I can think too much about it and chicken out.
Oliver looks a little shocked from what I can see of him through my blurry eyes, but he doesn’t hesitate to wrap me up in his arms, holding me tight enough that it feels like he might be able to squeeze my broken parts back together.
Maybe he can.
He lifts me up into his arms, and for a moment I’m caught off guard; it’s so easy to forget that Oliver’s just as fit as Des because I hardly ever see him in anything less than dress pants and a sweater vest. There have been a few times, though, and now in his arms, those memories come back to the surface all too easily: him swimming, him early in the morning, shirtless in pajama pants, drinking coffee with a book, his glasses sliding down his nose.
Damn.
I’m pulled from my memories as he moves onto the bed, laying my head on his chest. He lies beside me, smoothing my hair out of my face.
I feel Des as he moves behind me, pulling the blanket over all of us before he snakes an arm around my waist and moves in behind me. I can feel every ridge of his body against mine with Oliver in front of me, and it only makes me cry harder.
“We’re here, Kat, and we’re never going anywhere.” Des breathes the words against my neck, and I believe him.
I don’t want to move; I want to lie here all day and pretend that whatever happened yesterday was just a weird meeting with no ulterior motives.
Well, that and if I’m not mistaken, Oliver is in my bed, which shouldn’t be a big deal considering how often I have someone in my bed, but it feels huge to me, and that’s not the only thing.
Wow, I’m terrible, but I’m going to blame it on the fact that I’m still half asleep and the fact that it’s literally poking me in the back.
How am I supposed to ignore that?
My mind wanders on nothing and everything as I lie between them, but despite the many things I think about, none of them brings me the same level of panic it did yesterday.
I trust them.
It’s terrifying but true, and even though I still worry one day they will wake up and wonder why they ever wasted time with me, I’m starting to think that might just be my own self-consciousness self-sabotaging me.
I don’t know how long it is before finally my stomach rumbles, letting me know it’s time to get up and start the day.
As if on cue, Des rolls over and snuggles into my neck, his hand gripping my breast as he throws his leg over mine.
“There’s no more perfect way to wake up.”
Oliver shakes his head at him, but his arm around my waist tightens, pulling me close as he presses a kiss to the top of my head, and I nuzzle into his side.
“For once, I’m inclined to agree with him.”
I can’t help it; I bark a laugh that has them both laughing as well, and damn does it feel good.
We get up and wake Addy, make pancakes, and eat together, and I’m not sure where anyone else is, but I tell myself they’re at the office.
It works pretty well all day, too, until Vince suddenly appears in the living room and scares the hell out of me.
“Sorry, I was just coming to see if you wanted to say anything before we… take the trash out.” He looks at Addy, who is on the floor doing a puzzle with Oliver, while Des mindlessly scrolls through the TV, looking for what, I don’t know.
“What?”
Des’s hand closes around my wrist, pulling me back onto his lap and then further down until his lips are pressed to my ear.
“He wants to know if you had any last words for him.” He doesn’t say his name, but he doesn’t have to. I know from the disgust who he’s talking about.
Carter.
I pull away as if he struck me.
“Why would I want to speak with him?”
“That’s what I’m sayin’.” Des snaps, glaring up at Vince, and I get the feeling this isn’t the first time they’ve talked about this.
“We don’t want her to regret it later,” Vince tells Des, and yeah, they’ve definitely talked and argued about this already prior to just now. “This is your last chance for closure after everything that happened, Kat. Some people need to cut ties, burn the bridge, so to speak.”
“And what if she ends up regretting going to see him?” I turn to find Oli near the head of the couch and quickly look to ensure Addy is still busy with her puzzle. Thankfully, she is, but I still don’t like having these kinds of conversations around her.
“She doesn’t have to go in. She can simply look through the glass. If she wants to say something, she can. If not, that’s fine too.” Oliver asked the question, but Vince isn’t talking to him; he’s talking to me, and despite my reluctance to agree, I know I will.
He’s right after all; I could regret it, and I don’t ever want to live my life with regrets again.
“I don’t have to see him if I don’t want to?” I can’t help but ask, even after hearing him just say that.
I need to be one hundred percent sure of it before I agree to anything because seeing him last night shook me more than I wanted it to.
“Not if you don’t want to. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Vince holds out his hand, and despite knowing he’s telling the truth, I hesitate, looking at Oliver and then Des.
I don’t want them to be mad at me.
“Don’t look at me like that, Kitten,” Des says, reaching out to take my face in his hand, gently running his thumb over my lips. “I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Go, put this asshole behind us so we can never think about him again in all of our happiness.”
His reassurance squeezes my heart, and I’m not sure how he read me so easily, but I’m grateful.
Oli offers me a nod as well, and with it, I let my hand fall into Vince’s still outstretched one.
He pulls me up and out of Des’s lap, leading me out of the room, but I pull him to a stop before we leave, pulling my hand free and moving back to Addison.
“I’ll be right back, and then we can pick a princess movie to watch while we eat lunch.” I press a kiss to the top of her head before scurrying back to Vince’s side, feeling much more ready to handle this than I had a few minutes ago.
Vince leads the way again, and with each step, my confidence wavers as we move through the house toward the basement. I’ve never been in the basement, never really had a reason to…
“Oh my God, there’s a pool down here?” I stop to look through the glass that separates the hall from the poolroom with wide eyes.
As if the pool outside wasn’t enough.
“There’s a lot of shit down here.” Vince shakes his head as if he thinks it’s too much, and I can’t say I don’t agree most of the time.
“I didn’t realize you’d never been down here,” he says, almost to himself more than me, before he glances back at me over his shoulder.
“Remind me to show you around another time.”
I nod, unsure if my voice will work with the way his eyes bore into me.
The very last thing I should be doing right now is checking Vince out, yet here we are. On our way to Carter, who’s being held in the basement, ready to be killed for what he’s done to me…
Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have thought of it that way.
I follow Vince down the hallway almost blindly. I know we’re passing things that would usually get my attention, much the same way the pool did, but I just can’t bring myself to register it through my now growing panic.