Chapter 31 Kat #2
I need to find a way to ground myself, to stop this panic attack from taking over, but now all I can think about is Carter and everything he’s done, or would have done, had he been given the chance.
The possibilities are terrifying.
So I do the only thing I can think of: I quicken my pace until I’m nearly running, move beside Vince, and reach out, catching his hand in my own.
Maybe not my best idea, with the way he stops dead in his tracks hard enough that he nearly rips my arm from its socket when I continue moving, but it was all I could think of, and despite the issue of my arm, it’s already working.
I feel better; Vince makes me feel grounded and safe.
Whatever he sees on my face must tell him how not okay I am because his usually hard features soften, and he squeezes my hand as he continues to lead us down the hallway with much smaller strides so that I can more easily keep up with him.
The far end of the basement opens into a large room with chairs, couches, and a bar on the far right wall, but even more impressive are the dozens of arcade machines, foosball, air hockey, billiards, and other games I don’t have a name for.
“Wow. I can’t believe I never knew any of this was down here.”
Vince huffs a laugh but doesn’t stop moving, and I can appreciate that. If he stopped right now, I might very well chicken out.
He makes a beeline for the bar, and for a moment I wonder if he’s stopping to get a drink before I realize that’s not it at all. There’s actually a door tucked in the corner that I totally missed at first and second glance.
As we get closer, I wonder if I should be the one to grab a drink; my nerves feel like they are on fire, and all I want to do is run away.
The door leads to another set of stairs, and I’m not sure how to explain it, but I know we’re deep underground now; the air feels different.
“It’s the wine cellar… mostly,” Vince explains, almost as if he can feel my confusion.
That lets me know that it’s not all it is, which makes sense because if it weren’t, we wouldn’t be down here right now.
I wish we weren’t.
We make it to the bottom of the stairs, and there really is so much wine.
I didn’t even know they drank like this…
“I think it’s just a rich person thing. They hardly ever touch the stuff,” Vince says, somehow reading my mind, and despite the graveness of where we’re headed, I can’t help but chuckle. I’m glad I’m not the only one who isn’t used to this lifestyle.
Vince leads us through the rows, and I see the heavy metal door before we reach it.
And then I hear him.
I can’t make out the words, but I know his voice; the way he sounds when he shouts has me flinching back, pulling my hand from Vince’s.
“Kat?” My gaze snaps up to meet Vince’s, and I get the feeling this isn’t the first time he’s called out to me, judging by how he’s looking at me. “He can’t hurt you.”
I know he means to reassure me, but it doesn’t. If anything, it only reminds me of all Carter has done, of all the things I let him do and turned a blind eye to, or simply dealt with.
I told myself he loved me and that I loved him, and that made it all okay, but I was wrong.
Vince offers me his hand but doesn’t rush me. I take a deep breath and swallow down my fear the best I can before taking his hand.
Still, he doesn’t rush me, instead offering me a comfort I’m sure he would swear he’s not capable of, and I swear my heart skips a beat because I know he isn’t soft, not really, but right now he is.
For me.
After a moment, I offer him a nod, and he nods back before turning back to the door and pulling it open.
Carter’s voice hits me like a smack to the face, and despite the fear that tries to grip me, I let Vince pull me through the door and into a weird room with a giant glass wall.
“It’s like a holding cell,” Vince says, and I can feel his eyes boring into the side of my head, but I can’t look away from Carter.
The room is all but bare; a table sits against the back wall, and a single chair sits in the center of the room.
Carter is strapped to said chair; his brown hair and usual impeccable appearance are in shambles.
His shirt is dirty and wrinkled, his jeans stained, and he’s missing a shoe, but more than that, he’s covered in bruises and dried blood that tells me for sure that Nathan, Vince, and Alex have probably been down here all day while I thought they were at work.
“Kat is mine! Has been since we were teenagers. Your money won’t buy her away, you’ll see, she always comes back to me. It’s only a matter of—” Carter’s head whips to the side, cutting off what he was going to say, but I’m pretty sure I could guess.
It takes me a second to realize what happened until I finally register that it’s not just Carter behind the glass but Alex and Nathan as well.
Alex stands before him, heaving, eyes wild, and the look on his face is so much darker than I’ve ever seen before. Alex, like this, is kind of scary; I’ve only ever seen him sarcastic and silly. Even when he is serious, it’s not like this.
Right now, he looks murderous.
He lunges, gripping Carter’s hair and yanking his head back hard so that he has no choice but to meet his gaze, where he towers over him.
“Don’t say her fucking name, you piece of shit.” His fist whips out and hits him square in the jaw, and I can’t stop the gasp that flies from my lips as Carter’s head snaps to the side, again.
I hadn’t realized that was what cut Carter off earlier, but with his beat-up state, it makes sense.
Even from here, I can see the blood on Alex’s knuckles. My stomach rolls, but I can’t look away.
“You don’t have any right to her. She’s a person, not a fucking thing for you to own,” he spits, his disdain more than clear in his voice.
“And the fact that you think she can be bought just further proves you don’t know a damn thing about her.” Nathan doesn’t move from his spot against the wall, but it’s impossible to miss the venom in his words.
“Des is here,” I hear Vince, but I can’t look away as a smile curls Carter’s lips. His usually handsome features are all twisted up, and somehow I feel like this is a much better representation of the man he really is.
“Katie is mine, my little kitty cat. Bring her here, I’ll show you.” He sounds so sure of himself, and whereas a moment ago I would have argued, now I’m second-guessing myself.
Do I belong to him?
Will I ever be free of this feeling?
The air feels thicker, and I find myself having to breathe faster in an attempt to get a full breath. I swallow hard, trying to keep my dinner from coming back up as I take a step back toward the door. I watch Des and Carter stare each other down and wonder if I’ll ever truly be free of him.
Of what he’s done to me.
“Kat.” The gentle tone of Vince’s voice has me looking his way, needing something else to focus on.
I’m not sure what he sees when he looks at me, but it can’t be good. I watch as his brows pull together, his hands coming up, palms toward me in a show that he won’t hurt me, and while I know that, I can’t deny it still settles something in me.
“Do you want to leave?” he asks without the slightest bit of judgment. It’s strange how this man I’ve known for only a few months cares more for me than my own ex-fiancé. A man I wasted so many years on, trying to convince myself that love made it worth it.
I manage a slight shake of my head before I can really think it through.
I should leave.
I want to leave. To never see Carter’s face again.
But I need to stay; I need to see this through and close the book on him, forever.
“Do you want to talk to him?” he asks, and this time I don’t hesitate to answer, quickly shaking my head as I hold his gaze, afraid of what I might see if I look away.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I won’t make you,” he says in a rush, clearly sensing my panic at just the thought, as he steps toward me before stopping abruptly. “Can I touch you?”
This question pulls me up short.
Can he touch me…
“Yes.” My voice is nothing more than a pathetic little squeak that only serves to embarrass me further.
He probably thinks I’m pathetic.
With slow movements, he walks around me, giving me plenty of time to move or change my mind; he wraps his arms around my waist before pulling me back into his chest.
The air doesn’t feel so thick, the need to run doesn’t feel so overwhelming, and when I look up through the glass, Carter doesn’t look so big and scary.
“We’re going to kill him,” Vince says, almost more to himself than to me, but I nod regardless. “He’ll never stop if we don’t. It’s the only way to ensure your safety.”
I know he’s right. Carter will never let me go; it’s obvious by the scene playing out in front of us, yet I can’t help but worry about the ramifications.
“I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.” I’m not even sure he heard me at first, my voice low and weak as my fear once again works to choke me.
“We won’t. I promise.”
“He isn’t the first person we’ve had to deal with,” he says, clearly able to read my skepticism despite not being able to see my face.
I take a deep breath and let myself feel his reassurance before I nod. It’s weak and pathetic, which seems to be a running theme right now for me, but it’s all I have, and when his arms tighten around my waist, I know it’s enough.
I turn my attention back to Carter and find I’ve missed a bit. He’s got a few new bumps and bruises, and his left eyebrow is split, leaving blood running down into his eye. Yet he still smiles, as if he’s the cat that got the canary.
“Killing him keeps our family safe.”
I feel Vince freeze before he pulls away, and I could smack myself.
Why did I say that out loud? That was definitely an inside-my-head thought that did not need to be spoken.
Idiot.
Before I can spiral any more out of control, Vince’s fingers lace through mine as he gently pulls me toward the table to the far right of the room.
“Say it again,” he says, turning to press a button on the wall, a smile on his face that I’ve never seen before.
“Killing him keeps our family safe.”
I do as he asks, and I’m damn proud of myself when my words aren’t as sad and pathetic. That is, until I hear the echo of my words, and my head snaps back up to look through the glass as I realize what the button does.
Alex, Nathan, Carter, and Des all look toward me, though I can tell they can’t actually see me, as none of them are actually on the mark; it still feels intense.
Des now stands shoulder to shoulder with Alex, staring down at Carter like he’s less than the dirt under his shoes.
Loathing—that’s what that emotion is, and until now I’d never really seen it.
Des didn’t even want me to come down here, but despite the fear and panic, I know I needed this closure, and he’s come to face it with me.
The silence only lasts a moment, though, as the PA system once again crackles to life, this time with a masculine voice I’m very familiar with as I watch Nathan’s mouth move.
“You heard her, Des. We have a duty to keep our family safe.” Hearing him call me family makes my stomach tie itself into a million tiny knots.
It doesn’t help that Desmond’s once murderous features have somehow rearranged themselves in the thirty seconds he’s been looking my way, and he now looks like an adorable lovesick puppy.
How can he be so polar opposite and cute?
“What our woman wants, she’s gonna get.” Des blows me a kiss before moving to the back table.
He grabs something before making his way back to stand face-to-face with Carter.
In one swift motion, he presses the barrel of a gun to Carter’s head, his finger resting on the trigger, but he doesn’t pull it.
For the first time tonight, maybe ever, I see fear in Carter’s eyes as they bounce between the one-way glass and the gun pressed to his head.
Good. He should be afraid, because I’ve got no doubt Des will pull the trigger.
Seeming to finally grasp the severity of what’s happening as death looms over him, he pleads, “Kitty cat, please remember all the good times we had together, the years of our lives together in love and so happy.”
I try, really I do, but it’s useless; there is no happiness. No fond memories to hold on to, only years wasted hoping he would change, of lying to myself because he loved me.
Looking at everything now, I’m not even sure Carter ever truly knew what love was.
It’s almost sad.
“Look away, Katherine.” The fact that Des says my whole name is enough to make me listen even without the ring of command.
Vince uses his grip on my hand to swing me around to face him. He wraps an arm around my head, pressing one ear to his chest and covering the other with his hand. The sound of his heart hammering in my ear is all I can hear for a moment before a loud bang makes me jump.