15. Piper
fifteen
piper
Live, Learn, Lasagna
“ H oly shit, is that an engagement ring or an iceberg on your finger?” Sarina shrieks, poking her head out of the room just as I step into the salon early the next morning.
I rushed inside with Ralph covering me to avoid the two or three photographers we saw loitering on the street. While I’ve definitely seen paparazzi snapping pictures of me—along with a couple of magazine articles about me—they’ve mostly left me alone. Still, there’s no reason to give them freebies.
While my salon has always had a decent amount of security around it—a doorman who only allows people inside if they are on an approved list—the extra security Dev has placed around the salon has helped deter any overzealous paparazzi from sneaking in. It’s one less thing I need to worry about with the circus my life has become as of late.
“That thing could double as a paperweight!” she adds.
I chuckle at my best friend’s ability to spot something from all the way down the hall, despite her tendency to be in her own world. Heading to the main desk, I notice Joshua glancing up from the computer to eye the ring on my finger. A smile plays on his lips, but he stays quiet as both my best friends emerge from their respective rooms to inspect my ring like certified geologists.
I’ll admit, the ring is larger than I would have ever chosen for myself, but it’s not the size but the sentimental value it holds that makes me love it.
But it’s not yours, Piper. It belongs to someone else . . . someone who’ll wear it, not because she’s Dev’s fake fiancée, but because she’ll truly own his heart. Something you’re not trying to do. The sooner you remember that, the easier this will be when it comes to an end.
“You could signal a damn UFO with this thing!” Sarina gasps, moving my hand this way and that to catch the light. “I love the vintage setting.”
And despite just lecturing myself not to get attached to it or the sentimental value it holds, a smile tugs on my lips. “It’s his mom’s. He gave it to me in front of her last night.”
My thoughts wander back to the image of Dev kneeling in front of me last night, hope brimming in his eyes, his hand trembling as he wiggled the ring over my finger. Like he thought I’d say anything but yes. Like I’d change my mind in front of his sick mother.
As if that was even a possibility.
I’d said yes without having met her. And now that I had, I couldn’t fathom the thought. Not when I knew how much it meant to her to see her son settle down.
Not when it was her last and only wish, and I could help make it come true for her.
“So, meeting the parents went well, then?” Nisha asks, eyeing me curiously.
I chuckle softly. “Depends on which parent you’re asking about.”
My friends, including Joshua, who’s both typing something on the computer and listening to the story, give me puzzled looks.
“His mom, Claire, is beautiful inside and out,” I start, using the tips of my fingers to rub at an ache between my ribs. It’s been there since last night. “I honestly don’t know how Dev and Deena will cope with her loss. How does anyone, really? But to lose someone as wonderful as her?” The corners of my eyes prick and I shake my head. “You can tell she’s their rock.”
“It’s heartbreaking,” Sarina murmurs in agreement.
I smile, thinking about Claire. “She’s something else. Warm and loving. It took me meeting her, seeing her light, to fully understand the depth of their family’s tragedy. To realize how fleeting life can be, you know what I mean?” I ask my friends rhetorically. “Seconds after meeting her, I felt like I’d known her my whole life.” I swallow. “And it sucks that I won’t have more time with her.”
For a moment we all fall silent, me looking down at my ring that feels heavy, not because of its size but because of the weight of her impending loss.
Nisha’s eyes soften and she pulls me into a hug. “I can’t imagine how hard this time must be for them. But as much shit as I gave you for doing this for their family,” she pulls back to search my face, “I’m so proud of you, Piper. I don’t think I tell you it enough, but there’s not a person on the planet with a heart bigger than yours. A crazy, fun-loving, and free-spirited heart,” she smiles, “but the biggest one of them all.”
I squeeze her back. “You’re right. You don’t tell me that enough. Maybe, let’s make it a weekly thing.”
Nisha rolls her eyes. “Let’s not go crazy.”
“What did you mean by, it depends on which parent you ask,” Sarina asks, reminding me to finish my story. “Did Dev’s dad not like you?”
I snort, recalling Deepak’s patronizing comment. “I don’t know if it’s so much about like or dislike as it is his expectations for his son. He made it clear he didn’t approve of me, basically insinuating that I’m illiterate.”
“What?!” Sarina and Nisha both gasp at the same time.
“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Sarina asks vehemently. “I don’t care how many billions he has in the bank, he doesn’t get to act like a self-righteous pig!”
“He’s totally living up to the stereotype of an elitist and egotistical Indian dad, I guess,” Nisha adds indignantly, right as the phone rings. Joshua answers it, typing something on the computer as Sarina, Nisha, and I move toward the sitting area to continue our conversation without disturbing him.
We’re fifteen minutes from opening the salon and I still need to review my client list, but I also know that if I don’t answer all my friends’ questions now, they’ll bug me the entire day.
“Our dad isn’t like that, though. He’s sweet and supportive,” Sarina clarifies, as if I don’t already know. He’d practically been like a second dad to me growing up. More like the only dad.
“Did Dev defend you or did you have to take his dad down a peg yourself?” Nisha asks, straightening magazines on the coffee table that don’t need straightening.
I nod, recalling his words. “Yeah, he made it clear he didn’t want to hear anything more about it from his dad.”
“Well, that’s good.” Nisha nods, getting up to pull a chair so it is exactly in line with the one next to it.
She reminds me a lot of my fiancé that way—overly organized, with a penchant for cleanliness that borders on sterility.
I smile to myself, thinking about how we returned from his parents’ last night. After a rather quiet drive back, Dev headed straight for his home office, where he stayed until God knows when. I was long asleep . . . but not before finishing yet another crossword puzzle he’d placed neatly on the corner of the living room table. Two clues were still unsolved. And my reasoning was that if he didn’t want me to finish them, then he shouldn’t be leaving them in the same spot every day.
Sixty-one across: A vegetable in miso soup. Enoki.
Forty-four down: Section of Italian sonnet. Sestet.
And just to irritate him further, I’d also rearranged his color-coded hardbacks on the shelves and placed his neatly stacked coffee cups in the cupboard below the coffee machine where he usually kept all the extra coffee supplies. I realized this was also going to annoy his housekeeper, Suzanna, but we’d recently become friends. When I tell her about it later, she’ll likely appreciate someone loosening Dev’s belt a little.
Speaking of loosening his belt . . .
God, I still can’t believe what I asked him in his car on the way to his parents’ place.
“Hello? Earth to Piper,” Sarina says, jolting me out of my musings. She eyes me curiously. “Why are your cheeks all red?”
“Yeah, you look like one of those red-faced spider monkeys,” Nisha adds, because of course she does.
Joshua, who has rejoined us, and Sarina chuckle as I roll my eyes at Nisha. “I swear, no one does compliments like you, Neesh. Have you considered a career in inspirational speaking?”
“But, seriously, why are you so,” Joshua waves his finger in my face, moving past my question to Nisha, “pink?”
I take a long breath, knowing they won’t drop it until I tell them. “I asked Dev to—” I wave my hand around, hoping one of them can fill in the rest without me having to spell it out, but clearly, my friends are playing dumb. “I asked Dev to fuck me.”
“What?!” Nisha blurts right as Sarina lifts her hand to high-five me with a, “Yeah!” and Joshua looks like he’s lost his brows somewhere inside his hair.
I shrug, feigning nonchalance. “Look, neither of us knows the exact amount of time we’re in this. Yes, the doctors have given their prognosis, but God willing, Claire will live longer than their estimates, you know?” I look at my friends’ faces for understanding. “And given neither Dev nor I will be with anyone else during that time, I suggested that we be with each other. Strictly physical, of course.”
Sarina and Nisha exchange those sisterly looks I hate so much but can decipher now that I’ve known them forever.
“What did he say?” Sarina asks, her tone a mix of curiosity and concern.
I think back to our conversation in his car before my dad’s text interrupted us. Deciding to omit the details of his text, knowing it will just worry my friends, I stick to the essential part of the truth. “He didn’t.”
“He didn’t, what? He didn’t say anything?” Joshua clarifies.
I nod. “Yeah, he went so silent, I thought I’d pushed an off button on him or something.”
After the emotional night we had last night, I decided the ride back wasn’t the time to bring it up again. Though I know I need to soon, if only to address the awkwardness. And given the man practically ran to his office to hide the second we got home, there’s definitely awkwardness to be addressed.
Part of me feels a little stupid for even asking, given he looked like he’d frozen in time or something.
Maybe he’s conveniently forgotten it even occurred.
One can only hope.
“Piper—” Nisha starts when I interrupt her.
“I know what you’re going to say. That it would be a bad idea to get into a physical relationship with someone, knowing there is an end date to this. That it might complicate things further if he started developing feelings for me or something. But I’d already considered all that before I proposed it.”
Nisha squints at me. “Just him ? What if you develop feelings for him? ”
“Pssh.” I wave my hand dismissively. “You know that’s not going to happen. My rules are clear for that exact reason. They’re ironclad and?—”
“Oh God, you and your stupid ironclad rules,” she interjects with an eye roll that seems to take a full minute. “Would it be so bad if you did fall for a man for a change?”
I gasp so loud, I choke on my own spit. “Have you lost your bobby pins!? Of course it would be bad if I fell for him!” I squeak out, feeling out of breath. I won’t admit that part of the shortness of breath has something to do with me envisioning what she’s suggested and . . . finding it mildly appealing.
I shake my head vehemently, forcing myself out of the thought. “That wouldn’t just be bad, it would be terrible ! My rules are there for this exact reason!” I repeat. “It’s why I state them upfront for all parties involved, and why I follow them to a T, so no one gets hurt.”
“And what are these rules?” Joshua asks curiously.
He’s been working with us for a year, but I realize I’ve never discussed my rules with him before. My girlfriends, however? They could probably recite them backwards and in interpretive dance form.
“They’re simple,” I start, lifting a finger for each rule. “No kissing, no spending the night, and absolutely no heart-shaped feelings.”
I don’t vocalize the other unspoken rules—to never become someone’s priority or anything more than a delightful distraction. To never become someone’s anything , really.
Why? Because life had taught me that it was best if you didn’t have expectations. That the L-word was as dirty and foul as some of the worst four-letter words out there. It was both used and discarded often. So, the only L-words I care to stand by are ‘live,’ ‘learn,’ and ‘lasagna.’ Because let’s face it, lasagna has never let anyone down .
“They’ve worked in favor of all parties involved so far,” I assert, doubling down on my previous words. “And I’m sure they’ll work for me and Dev, too . . . should he choose to accept. Though, as of now, that doesn’t look likely, given his initial reaction.” Or lack thereof.
Nisha sighs, as if she doesn’t know how else to argue anymore. “So, what are you going to do?”
I shift on my feet, feeling unsettled. I’ve never had someone reject my proposal for no-strings attached sex, and while Dev hasn’t exactly done that, my ego still feels bruised.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I don’t think I’ll bring it up again, though. My vagina will probably prune up in the next few weeks, revirginifying herself to look like that of a mummified woman unearthed from the depths of a forgotten tomb.” I shake my head, slightly panicked. “Forget getting a penis up in there; I’ll barely be able to get a tampon in without it feeling like an archaeological dig.”
“Wow,” Joshua deadpans. “That visual was exactly what I needed this morning. Thanks for that.”
Sarina tries to suppress a laugh while Nisha gives up whatever she’s straightening to head back down the hall to her salon suite, murmuring, “Oh, for God’s sake.”
“Whatever,” I grumble, heading back to the main desk to pull up my client list for today, when Vajayjay jumps up on the desk asking for attention. I pick her up, peppering her with kisses. “You understand, don’t you, my sweet puss? You haven’t had your lady bits loved in forever, either. Maybe never. We’re like two peas in a very sad, very shriveled up pod, aren’t we?”
In response, she jumps out of my hands, prowling over to the buttons, pawing at one repeatedly.
“I miss you,” says the robotic voice.
Joshua, Sarina, and I exchange confused looks before realization dawns on me. “Oh my God, I think she misses Dev.”