Chapter 17 Moving On
Moving On
Charlie | The Past
After Rianna left, silence stretched between Alek and me. My thoughts spun wildly, tangled up in the memory of that kiss and the storm of feelings it unleashed.
I was never supposed to end up here. Another guy’s lips on mine? That wasn’t in the plan. I shouldn’t be wrestling with how to move on from someone who was my forever.
Keaton left me shattered, sorting through the remains of a love I thought was unbreakable. Now, I have to pick up the pieces and figure out how to start again.
I owe myself the chance to see if happiness can be found not just within, but maybe, just maybe, with someone else too.
Before Keaton cheated on me, which I'm finally seeing was a lot longer than I wanted to admit, I would have never even thought about it.
Keaton was all I could see. He was my life, my love, and my heart.
He was the only person I wanted to be with.
Keaton Carr was my endgame and had been since the moment I met him at five years old.
To know that it was so easy to turn away from me after everything we've been through kills me.
It makes me question everything we had together, because if our love was real for him, then he shouldn't have been able to push me aside so easily.
If it were real, another girl wouldn't have been able to take my place.
Keaton had another girlfriend, and I didn't even know it.
Or more like I didn't want to admit it. Not until I had to.
Keaton wasn't the only one in heavy denial, and it took witnessing the physical act to finally open my eyes to the truth.
Now, whenever I think about it all, the subtle signs were there.
Flipping his phone face down, defending her anytime someone said something about her, always running when she needed her "friend", ignoring the way everyone tried to warn him.
They were all right in front of my face, and I completely overlooked them.
Why? Why the hell did I do that? Would it have made a difference if I acknowledged his cheating the moment it started?
Again.
The moment it started again. Because I acknowledged the signs the first time, I just couldn't bring myself to truly believe it, even though it was right there.
I needed to have hope that Keaton would never jeopardize our relationship. I needed to know that he loved me enough to never betray me like that. Do I still believe that he loves me? I think in his own way. Somewhere inside him, the love we shared with each other for eight years still burns.
It just doesn't burn enough.
Not anymore.
And I'll never settle for anything less. I need the person I share a life with to be all-in with me and only me. If I can't have that with anyone, then I'd rather be alone.
Nothing wrong with becoming a cat lady.
Alek's worried eyes follow me around the cafe as I complete the closing duties. This isn't unusual. A few times a week, he's parked at a table with his laptop as he waits for me to get off, and then he'll take me home. The nights he's not here, Amelia is. They've refused to leave me alone.
I don't think it's because they believe I can't take care of myself. They do it because they're concerned with how I'm feeling.
As much as I appreciate and even enjoy their company, their presence is getting stifling.
I don't want to tell them that, though, because they're the only ones who truly know the horror and heartbreak I've experienced.
My parents know. Keaton's parents know. The whole campus knows.
But none of them have seen the days when my mind goes dark, or been there when I wake with a cry as my mind replays a montage of Keaton and her.
It's been Amelia and Alek for the last two months, and, for now, I don't want that to change.
After locking up the back and making sure everything is powered down, I flip off the lights, grab my bag, and head out to Alek.
He glances up at the sound of my footsteps and smiles as he closes his laptop. "You ready, Lollie?"
I aim a vicious scowl at him when he uses that ridiculous nickname he's given me. "Why do you call me that? It's silly and makes no sense."
Once he has everything gathered, he stands and tweaks my nose. "Because you're sweet and cute, just like a lollipop." His eyes drop to my lips for a second and fill with heat. "Really, really sweet."
The look makes my lips tingle, but since I'm not prepared to face it, I brush off the sensation and tease him. "Are you going to drive me home or just stand here flirting awkwardly?"
Alek mock gasps as he grabs his laptop bag and suit jacket. "How dare you call my flirting bad. I practice these smooth moves in front of a mirror daily."
I pat his head when I walk past him to hold the door open. "Might need to work on it some more then, buddy."
****
The ride to my apartment is filled with the familiar banter between us before it eventually switches to my job ventures.
"I'm still waiting to hear from a couple of them," I reply when he asks me about the places I've applied.
"Eh, we both know you'll get a call back. You have experience in your field and a bachelor's degree. Have you thought about Grinder's?"
"What about it?"
"Buying it. Toby mentioned thinking about selling. I'm sure he'd sell it to you for a reasonable price, or at least work with you on buying it."
That idea never even occurred to me. Even if I wanted to, I have no idea how I’d manage it. My small savings can’t compare to what it takes to buy a business.
Would I even want that? Owning Grinder’s would mean settling here for good. My roots are in Granite Bay, but I liked knowing I could leave—especially after what Keaton did. Opening a place together was once our dream, but now I’m not sure I want this city to anchor me.
"Doing that would mean being stuck in Granite Bay. I'm still not sure what I'm doing yet," I reply quietly.
"Did you apply for any jobs outside of Granite Bay?"
"One or two are in a few towns over, but most have been here."
"What about where I work? Did you apply for the marketing manager position we have open?" Alek asks.
"Of course I did. It was the first one."
CB Acquisitions is one of the biggest companies in the state. A job there would look amazing on my resume. I just don't know if it's a smart idea to work in the same place as Alek.
"I'll talk to Cesare when I go in tomorrow and see if I can't speed up the process."
I reach over and place my hand on top of his on the shifter.
"No. Don't do that. I don't want a job based on who I know, Alek.
I want one based on my credentials." His hand shifts under mine, and I yank mine away, dropping it to my lap.
"If I'm meant to get the job, then I will. For now, I'm good at Grinders."
Letting Alek touch me feels less foreign now.
Guilt still tries to creep in, but I shove it aside.
I’m single for the first time in nearly seven years, and it’s.
..weird. Not bad, just unfamiliar. Life as half of a couple was all I knew, and now I’m learning how to be whole on my own.
I’m not ready for anything serious, not because I’m waiting for Keaton.
I don’t want him back. Not now. Maybe not ever.
But that image from the poolhouse still haunts me.
A shudder rolls over me.
I don't know if it's something that will ever go away.
My apartment complex comes into view, and my palms sweat as we pull into the designated parking space. I know what's coming next. It's the same thing that he does every time he drops me off.
He's out and rounding the car to my side, opening the door, and holding out his hand to help me.
Once I'm standing on my feet, he drops my hand and steps away so he doesn't crowd me.
He shoves his hands in his slack pockets as he walks me to my apartment.
The one thing I enjoy about being friends with Alek is that the silence is comfortable.
He doesn't have the need to fill it with unnecessary conversation.
For the last two months, the world around me has been loud as fuck, so the silence feels good.
"You ready to put me out of my misery yet, Lollie, and go out on a date with me?" he asks with that cheeky smile of his that I've seen get him in trouble many times.
I stick my keys in the knob, but instead of opening it, I lean back against it and look up at him as I think over his question.
Nibbling on my bottom lip, I study his face as I try to find.
..something. I don't know what. Maybe something that tells me whether this guy is trustworthy or whether he'll hurt me.
When I realize what I'm doing, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to settle my chaotic emotions. I refuse to let Keaton's betrayal fuck with me so much that I'm questioning the motives of any guy I come across. Especially ones I'm close to.
My lips curve in a small smile as I peer up at him. "Can I think about it?"
It takes him a minute to realize that I didn't give him a flat-out no, and his eyes widen as his lips curl into a slow smile.
"It's not a no this time, so you do what you got to do, pretty girl.
" His eyes softly roam over my face. "If you're not ready, then don't force it, Char, yeah?
There's no pressure, and I won't be pissed if you say no.
I only want to take you out and let you have some fun. "
Warmth fills my chest, and I raise a brow. "Is that the only thing you want?"
The tease comes off more flirty than I expected, but the cheesy smile he gives me has me relaxing.
I can do this. It's just casual dates with a friend.
"Oh, it's not the only thing I want," he teases, his eyes dropping to my lips.
Okay. So, casual dates with friends who kiss. No big deal.
"Can I kiss you?"