Chapter 17 Moving On #2
My eyes fall to his mouth at his question.
My head is telling me to go for it, but my stupid fucking heart wavers as it cries out for the one it belongs to.
I'm tired of listening to my heart, though.
The damn thing is useless at guiding me to people who won't break it.
I think I'll try listening to my head for a change.
At my slow nod, he steps closer and lifts both palms to rest against the door so that he's caging me in. Alek teases me at first with light brushes of his lips against mine before he finally stops playing and tangles his tongue with mine.
I keep my mind firmly in the present and what's happening right now, no matter how much it fights me to go somewhere else. My hands leave the door and land on his chest, fisting his shirt and dragging him closer, as he deepens the kiss.
My stomach flutters, and I swear I can feel the pounding of my heart throughout my face.
Alek slides his leg between both of mine until his knee rests against my pussy, and the thickness of his dick behind his slacks rests against my leg.
I'm so lost in the sensations that pour through me, I unintentionally rub against his knee.
He must feel the heat from my pussy because he lets out a deep groan of pleasure, and suddenly, I'm tossed back into the pool house.
Keaton's groan.
Rianna's malicious smirk and taunting words.
Keaton's bare dick covered in her juices.
Over and over they play until I want to scream at the unfairness of it. All I want to do is move on, but how the hell can I do that when something as small as a groan triggers me?
"Charlie? Look at me, Charlie," Alek calls from far away.
Pressure on my chin has the taunting memories fading, and I'm left staring into pretty olive-green eyes.
Alek holds my chin up as he stares down at my face. "Talk to me. Where did you go?"
"The fucking pool house," I say bitterly.
I'm never going to look at one again without it being a fucking reminder that I wasn't enough for my boyfriend.
"What set it off? The kiss?"
His voice is full of understanding, and I can't appreciate him any more than I do right now. "No. It was the groan."
"Fuck."
"Pretty much," I mutter.
He sighs and, after inspecting my eyes one last time, he drops it and steps away, shoving his hands in his pockets and taking away his warmth. "I'm sorry, Charlie."
I shake my head and straighten. "Don't be. You're not the reason I'm in this position. Keaton is."
Might as well lay the blame where it belongs.
Unlocking the door and shoving it open, I glance over my shoulder. "Are you going to come in for a few?"
"Do you need me to?"
I sift through my head and heart to figure out what I'm feeling.
Anger.
So much anger.
Well, hello step two.
Rebecca told me I would eventually go through each step of the grieving process, but I was stuck between denial and anger for the last two months, and I thought I'd never settle on one.
She said that for each step I reach, I'm another step closer to healing and moving on, and that I should embrace each one.
"Actually, no. I'm good. Thanks for giving me a lift home."
"I've got to go out of town for the weekend. We have a business that I have to look into."
"You and David?" I ask, leaning against my door jamb.
He nods. "And Jerica."
I tilt my head as I stare at him. There was something in his tone just now when he mentioned her name. Curiosity, perhaps? "It's her, isn't it?"
"What?"
"The person you have feelings for."
He chuckles. "Don't be ridiculous. She's like my little sister, Lollie. The only person I feel anything for is you. A big dose of fucking lust."
I roll my eyes with a smile. Denial. I'm pretty familiar with it. This is something he'll need to come to terms with on his own, though. Who knows? Maybe the weekend away together will open his eyes.
"You're a goof," I reply. "Let me know when you land safely?"
"Of course. I'm only a phone call away if you need me." He reaches out and tweaks my nose. "And think about that date, yeah?"
For the first time since catching Keaton with Rianna, the idea of telling him I’m going on a date with Alek sends a wicked thrill racing up my spine.
Embrace each one. Well, Rebecca, it looks like anger's winning out today.
"I'll go. If you come back and still want to go, then I accept," I tell him before I lose my nerve.
"You'll go?"
"If you still want to when you come back. Just as friends," I feel the need to clarify.
Classifying it as anything else right now will have me running for the woods.
"Friends," he repeats, stepping closer.
"Yep," I confirm with a nod.
"Who kiss," he murmurs, dropping his head closer.
"Who kiss."
Oh, if only Keaton were having to see Alek attach himself to my mouth right now. Would it send a knife through his heart? Would it rip it from his chest and leave it lying at his feet? I hope so because I don't think he quite understands the pain he's put me through.
Alek bites my lip, yanking my thoughts back to him before his tongue steals its way inside, proving to me that no matter how Keaton made me feel, I am still desirable.
It stings that it took someone else to remind me I’m still wanted, instead of the fucking asshole I can’t seem to stop loving.