Chapter 34 New Friends and Old Lovers
New Friends and Old Lovers
Keaton | The Past
Neither of us knows what to say to each other after the deep conversation we just had.
“How are you doing, Charlie?” I wince, scrubbing my hands over my face. “Fuck. Sorry. That’s a stupid question.”
Her fingers, warm and gentle, curl around my wrists, coaxing my hands from my face. Instead of letting go, she glides her touch down to my palms, holding on when I least expect it.
Charlie squeezes and smiles at me. “Not a stupid question. Despite our conversation, I’m surprisingly doing great. This place is doing amazing. I’ve been going to therapy. I don’t know if you know that or not.”
“I didn’t. Is it helping?”
She pulls her gaze from mine, her eyes drifting somewhere far away, clouded with the kind of distance that comes when someone is lost in thought.
Charlie blinks before turning her beautiful eyes back to me. “It really is. I’m healing. It’s slow, but I’m finding peace, Keaton. What about you? You said you were doing therapy. Do you think you'll continue long-term?”
“Absolutely. I think it’s something I’m always going to do, you know. It’s helping me uncover a lot of shit I didn’t even know needed uncovering.”
She drags her hand out of mine after giving it another light squeeze. “That’s really great, Keaton. I’m proud you’re trying to be a better person.”
I pick up my coffee and drain it. “How are your parents?”
After I cheated on Charlie, I tried to keep in contact with her parents, hoping that, despite their anger, I could still communicate with them.
That was selfish of me. I loved them, and they loved me, but after I broke their daughter's heart, things couldn't stay the same.
They couldn't avoid me completely—they’re best friends with my parents—but whenever we were in the same room, they acted like I didn't exist. I don't blame them.
I never could. I respect the hell out of their decision.
Charlie laughs softly. “Still the same. Ridiculously in love and not afraid to show it to the world.”
“They’re still acting like horny teenagers then?” I ask, chuckling.
“And I doubt they’ll ever stop.”
We share a smile, and for the first time since I shattered everything, it feels effortless—untainted by old bitterness or the weight of past mistakes.
It feels right.
It feels fucking perfect.
Before we can say anything else, my phone rings and Kayla’s name flashes over the screen.
Charlie’s silence says everything. The tension in her posture and the flicker of worry in her eyes reveal her unease at seeing another woman’s name light up my phone.
I give her a gentle smile, pushing the phone across the table to her. “Answer it.” Reaching over to hit the green phone icon and placing it on speaker.
“Hello?” Charlie answers through clenched teeth.
“Oh! You’re not Keaton.” She laughs sadly. “Hi, Charlie.”
“What makes you think I’m Charlie?”
“Because you’re all Keaton talks about. He wouldn’t let anyone else answer his phone.”
The surprise on Charlie’s face stings, as if she never expected I’d speak of her to anyone but my therapist.
That’s another thing I have to blame myself for.
“So, I was calling to ask a favor,” Kayla says.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“Do you mind keeping Ryder for a bit? Brock and I need to talk, and I don’t want to do it with him around. I’m afraid we might get heated, and I refuse to let him see us like that.”
“Of course. Swing by Grinders and drop him off. I’m just here with Charlie.”
“Does she mind?” Kayla asks.
I peer over at Charlie, whose face is blank, but she shakes her head.
“No, I don’t mind,” she says.
“Thanks, you two. I really appreciate you looking after him, Keaton. Charlie, it was nice talking to you.”
“Nice to talk to you, too,” Charlie says quietly.
Once Kayla is off the phone, I watch the emotions play out over Charlie’s face. So many questions flit over her features, but I know her, and she won’t ask. Maybe if it were before everything happened with us. Now, though, she doesn’t believe she has that right.
It’s not my story to tell, but this is Charlie.
I promised her that I’d not keep shit from her anymore.
So, even if we’re not together, she’s my priority.
Something she should have been over the last few years.
As much as I want to respect the privacy of Kayla and Brock, I won’t do it at the expense of Charlie’s comfort.
I reach across the table, letting my hand settle beside hers. The warmth radiating from her skin is enough. Then, unexpectedly, she loops her pinky around mine, a childhood ritual from before we ever fell in love.
Staring at our little fingers wrapped around each other, my eyes burn.
Fuck. When was the last time we did something so fucking simple?
I can’t remember, but it’s been so long that this small, ordinary gesture now feels intoxicating.
“Keaton?” Charlie calls softly.
Shaking my head, I give her my attention.
“Sorry. My mind drifted. Kayla and Brock used to work with me at Inkubus. Brock hasn’t talked to me about it a lot, barely anything at all, but I know he cheated on her before Ryder was born,” I tell her quietly, my voice broken, not just for Kayla and Brock, but for me and Charlie.
Charlie sucks in a sharp breath and pulls away to lean back in her seat. Her arms fold over her chest as if they’ll protect her. “Does Kayla know you’re also a cheater?”
Her words hit hard, a fierce reminder that no matter how much I change, I’ll always carry this label. I broke this beautiful girl and colored the way she sees the world.
Swallowing hard, I nod. “She knows. I don’t ever say it with pride, but I also don’t hide how badly I fucked up with you, Charlie. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I didn’t own the pain I caused you.”
“And she’s just okay with you all being friends?” she asks harshly.
I don’t take offense to anything she says. She’s entitled to her questions, and I’ll always answer them the best I can.
“Not sure. She’s never really said, but I think she hopes I can help Brock through what he did. I’m hoping she sees the person I am now and not the stupid guy who fucked up with poor decisions.”
Charlie stares at me, pain alive in her eyes, and I wonder for the millionth time if I’m even doing her any good by being around her.
“If it’s an issue for you, Charlie, I’ll walk away from my friendship with him right now.”
“Help me understand why you want to be friends with him, Keaton, because I’m having a hard time understanding it. That saying, ‘Birds of a feather, flock together,’ keeps playing on repeat in my head right now.”
I run my fingers through my hair, hoping my words make sense when they come out.
“I became friends with him before I knew about what he did, but that’s not the reason I’m still friends with him.
Like me, he genuinely regrets his actions.
He’s broken down in front of me too many times to believe otherwise.
He knows what I did, and if he wasn’t truly remorseful, I don’t think he’d pretend he was.
I’d think he’d sort of brag or something if he didn’t feel it.
I don’t know. So, I started thinking that maybe we could help guide each other through this fucked up journey, you know?
Stupid, probably, but I just wanted to help someone else who is genuinely remorseful.
Not sure how I’d do it, but I needed some sort of…
goodness, I guess, to come from the choices I made.
” I blow out a breath. “I brought it up to Lionel. He didn’t really give me the okay, but he didn’t steer me away from it either.
He emphasized the importance of being aware that I am the one making my own choices and that I should choose them carefully.
If I believe we can help each other travel this road, then it’s my choice.
He just warned me to watch for warning signs and potential dangers that could happen if Brock wasn’t feeling what I believed he was.
” I lift my shoulders and let them fall.
“I don’t know. I’m sure it doesn’t make sense, and I’m sorry for it.
It’s the best explanation I have. But I was serious, Charlie.
If I need to back away from my friendship with him, I’ll do it.
I don’t ever want to do anything else that will cause you more pain. ”
She continues to stare at me, chewing on her bottom lip, as so many thoughts work behind her eyes. I know she’s not ready to speak those thoughts out loud yet, but I’m hoping she’ll one day get there.
Charlie shakes her head, blowing out a breath.
“No. Don’t stop being friends with him. We’re not together, and I won’t tell you who you can be friends with.
I won’t lie because I never have. I am uncomfortable with it only because you don’t have the best track record of picking friends these days, Keaton. ”
I shrug. “Then I won’t be friends with him anymore.”
There are no other choices when it comes to Charlie. Not anymore. Losing her, breaking her, is the regret that haunts me most. Whatever it takes to prove my sincerity, I’ll pay it. Now and for the rest of my life.
Without complaint.
Without anger.
Without sadness.
Charlie keeps staring at me like she’s trying to see inside for something, so I keep myself as open to her as I possibly can, needing her to find what she’s searching for.
She takes her time in her search, her eyes roaming over my face, gauging the level of authenticity of my words. Before either of us can say anything else, the bell over the door rings out, and then a little screech greets us.
“Kea, Kea.”
Ryder’s little legs race toward me, his excitement infectious. There’s something about this ridiculously adorable kid that melts my heart and chases away the loneliness.
He stops next to my seat and stares at me with a mouth full of teeth.
I chuckle and hold my fist out like he’s waiting for. “Dude.”