Chapter 34 New Friends and Old Lovers #2
Ryder smacks his knuckles to mine, then puffs his cheeks and pushes his fingers out, mimicking a bomb exploding. “Dude.”
His eyes flash over to Charlie, and I watch them fill with wonder. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I hide my smile at his obvious instant infatuation with her.
Don’t blame you, kid. Don’t blame you at all.
When I glance over, I catch her watching us, her face softened and her eyes glowing with a warmth I’ve missed more than I can say.
Kayla stops at the booth, her breath puffing past her lips. “Ryder,” she scolds softly.
He just grins up at her, looking so much like his dad. Kayla doesn’t miss it either, judging from the way her face spasms before she smiles back at him and brushes her fingers over his face.
Kayla turns to us. Her eyes, normally so vivacious and full of life, are dull and heartbroken. Charlie inhales sharply through her nose, no doubt witnessing the same thing I am. She’s seeing something in Kayla that she saw, hell, probably still sees, when she peers at herself in the mirror.
Turning my attention from Kayla and Ryder, I give it to the only person who matters at this moment.
Shit. Inviting Kayla to bring Ryder here was a mistake. I wanted to be honest with Charlie, but instead I’ve forced her to confront someone living the same pain she’s carried for nearly a year.
I swallow hard, wanting nothing more than to reach across the table to touch her, to convey my apologies, but I know it’s the last thing she needs right now.
“Hi,” Kayla says, holding her hand out to Charlie.
My body jerks straight when Charlie ignores Kayla’s outstretched hand and stands from her seat.
Fuck. What the hell did I do to her?
Charlie pulls a move that shouldn’t really surprise me, though. Instead of shaking Kayla’s hand, she wraps her hands lightly around her biceps, staring into her eyes. Then, when Kayla’s eyes water, she pulls her into a gentle, tight hug.
I turn away from them when Kayla lets out a quiet sob and wraps her arms around Charlie, burying her face in her neck. Ryder is watching her with trembling lips, so I grab him under his arms and pull him into the booth with me to distract him.
Charlie’s heart never fails to amaze me. It’s the very thing that made me fall so helplessly in love with her in the first place.
Even with her heart in pieces, she still manages to offer love and compassion to anyone who needs it.
I give them the space they need to comfort each other while I continue to deflect Ryder’s attention with some stupid game on my phone.
The booth shakes, and I glance up to Charlie sitting back down. Her eyes are red and glassy, her face a bit flushed, and I have to clench my hands to keep from reaching over to her.
“Are you sure about keeping him for a bit, Keaton?” Kayla asks, her voice thick from crying.
“Positive,” I reply softly. “Do what you need and take as long as it takes, okay?”
Kayla blows out a breath, her red-rimmed eyes filling with gratitude as she sets Ryder’s backpack toward the back of the table. “I really appreciate it.”
“Let me see your phone,” Charlie demands of her.
She grabs it from Kayla’s hand when she holds it out, and then her fingers fly over her screen before she passes it back to her.
“Call me if you need someone that’s not Brock to talk to.
We’ll hang out or something. Having a support system through this is so important.
” Her eyes fall to me, and they soften for a brief second.
“For everyone,” she finishes softly, and I catch her meaning.
After Kayla leaves, the conversation fades as Ryder claims our attention. Sitting here with her, keeping this kid happy, stirs up longings I have no right to feel.
We play a few games on my phone before Ryder insists that Charlie color with him. Watching her gentle patience with him, I remember nights under the stars, dreaming up names for our future kids and wishing for a thousand things.
The ache in the back of my throat has me reaching for my drink.
Ryder tugs on my shirt sleeve and holds up a marker. “Be like you, Kea Kea?”
“You gonna give me something cool, little man?” I ask, scrubbing my hand over his wild hair.
He nods, his eyes lighting up as he squirms in his seat. “The bestest.”
I place my arm out on the table in front of him, making sure there’s some empty skin he has access to. His little palm settles on my skin, and he tucks his lip between his teeth as he concentrates.
Charlie’s been quiet for a while, so I look up from the bright scribbles on my skin. She’s watching us with eyes full of heartbreak, but when she meets my gaze, the longing there nearly knocks the breath from my lungs.
Oh, butterfly.
I’m so fucking sorry.
Charlie clears her throat, sliding her bag over her shoulder.
“I’m going to head out. But I want to say something.
What I told her applies to you and B, too.
A support system is important to have through this kind of stuff.
I see the changes you’re making, Keaton.
I really do believe you’ve learned some valuable things since you cheated.
I need to have hope that what you did—the pain you caused—resonated with you.
Because I don’t believe you’re a bad person.
You just…made a lot of really bad choices that broke a lot of really good things.
So, if you and she believe Brock to be remorseful, and if you truly believe that you two can give each other positive support, then maybe you should.
” She reaches across the table and runs her hand over Ryder’s head, causing him to lift his face towards her with a smile.
“I’ll see you again, Ryder. You give this dude all kinds of cool designs, okay? ”
She takes a step away from the booth, but pauses. I can only make out the side of her face, but I can see the struggle play out over it before she turns back.
Charlie takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. “I’m proud of you, Keaton. You’re working hard, and I’d like to acknowledge the changes I can see.” She shrugs, and her lips curve in a poignant smile. “I just wanted you to know that. I needed you to know that I see you, Keaton.”
She leaves before I’m ready. Every moment she gives me is bittersweet, and I know I’ll always hunger for more.
But I’ll never push for it.
Not anymore.
The moment she tells me she's proud of me, it eases the restless part of my soul that forever longs for her approval and love, even though I feel undeserving.
I hope that Kayla and Charlie can help each other. I hope they can lift each other up when they’re struggling. I just really need something good to come out of all the shit that I put us through. Even if it’s just my Charlie girl finding another friend.
Spending this time with her has given me hope that there will be an opportunity in the future to build something new with Charlie.
It gives me hope that, despite the challenges ahead, we might rise from the ashes together.
Maybe a little different, a bit broken, but with a love that’s weathered one hell of a storm and survived.
We’ll be fragments of each other, stitched together into something entirely new.
Something much more beautiful, much more real.
The thing is…hope is fragile, and healing isn't linear.
Something I should remember more often.