Chapter 24
Our unplanned stopbrings us into Seattle late. Ford and I collapse into bed fully dressed, with only enough energy to kick off our shoes. The smell of coffee is the only thing that manages to rouse us from being nearly comatose.
Ford groans as I try and rock him awake. He throws his arm over his face and goes back to sleep. If coffee isn’t going to wake him up, I know something that will. I slip my hand under his shirt and slide it down his stomach toward the waistband of his jeans. His hand grabs mine just as I reach his fly.
“As much as I like where your mind and hand are headed, your mom is around the corner in the kitchen. I don’t want her first impression of me to be the sound of me coming.”
I purse my lips. “I guess you have a point. At least now you’re awake.”
Leaning forward I press a lingering kiss against his lips. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”
When I come out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, Ford isn’t in my room. I’m about to go looking for him when I hear my mom’s infectious laugh reach me from the kitchen. I follow the sound and find her and Ford sitting at the table drinking coffee.
“Well, this is disturbing,” I joke.
My mom sets her mug down and jumps up from the table. “Honey, have a seat. Let me get you something to eat.”
“Just coffee,” I tell her.
“I’ll grab some granola and yogurt too. You should both eat. That was a long drive and you probably don’t even realize you’re hungry yet,” she says, moving around the kitchen as if I hadn’t answered her.
There’s a long silence when she returns to the table. Ford and I concentrate on our breakfasts she insisted we eat. There’s a lengthy silence while she idly traces a design on top of the table with her finger. I can tell there’s something on her mind, and over the last year I’ve learned if I just give her time she’ll speak up eventually.
“I was planning on telling you that the apartment wasn”t going to be ready because you came early, but that”s not true. So rather than start out lying to you I”m just going to ask you if you wouldn”t mind staying here for a few days so we can spend more time together?”
“Considering the fact we don”t have any furniture yet, I don’t see any harm in us spending a few days here. What do you think, Tess?” Ford asks me.
I know he”s doing this for me. I can”t imagine he wants to spend our first days living together at my mom”s house, but it’s so thoughtful I swoon a little. Although my mom is very charming, and it”s quite possible Ford is also enjoying the novelty of a mother’s affection. Something neither of us really experienced growing up.
She cocks her head to the side and focuses on Ford. “I’m going to have to keep my eye on you. You”re a real charmer, I can tell.”
Then she nudges me with her elbow. “Not that anyone would want to take their eyes off of him, right.” And of course, she winks. As if I didn”t know she was joking.
At least I hope she”s joking. “Mom, oh my God, you did not just say that.”
I can feel my cheeks heat, probably with fifty percent of my body”s blood rushing to them. I”m sure my pale complexion is now beet red.
Ford, the asshole, chuckles and winks back at her. “Your daughter can never take her eyes off me. I feel like a piece of meat,” he says, feigning outrage.
I roll my eyes at the both of them. “You are both so funny. Really. You should take your act on the road. As in go away.”
“Oh now, have a sense of humor. If you”re going to date a walking sex god you better be prepared for women to hit on him. I mean if I were twenty years younger?—”
I put my hand up in front of me to make her stop, although I have learned that my mother has very little filter. “First, don”t ever use the words sex god when talking about my boyfriend again. Second, it”s weird to call him my boyfriend. And third, if you were twenty years younger and you said any of that, I”d kick your ass.”
Ford raises his hand, and I grab it and pull it down. “This isn”t school. You don”t need to raise your hand.”
He shrugs. “I just want to make it known that I have zero problems with being referred to as a sex god, but I do agree that being called that by my future mother-in-law is a little uncomfortable. I”m also wondering why it”s weird to call me your boyfriend. So can you explain that one to me?”
I give him a look that says it should be obvious. Clearly it isn’t, so I say, “You just referred to my mother as your future mother-in-law. That”s a little more than boyfriend territory don”t you think?”
The look of irritation and fear disappears from his face and is replaced by a contemplative expression. “What do you suggest we call each other then? I”m not calling you my partner. That makes us sound like old hippies who refuse to get married because they don”t want to let the government into their relationship and refer to their tiny dog as their child.”
My mom gets up from the table, and kisses me on the side of the head as she starts to walk by. “I”m going to go because this conversation is getting weird.”
“Thanks for breakfast, Jo,” Ford says, and he also gets a kiss on the side of his head.
I shake my head at her as she walks out of the room, and then turn back to Ford. “My mom is a little odd isn”t she?”
“Josephine is amazing. You”re very lucky,” he answers me. “Now don”t change the subject. If I”m not your boyfriend, what am I?”
“Ugh,” I sigh. “I guess there aren”t any words that fit. Boyfriend will have to do, but for the record, I think it”s a weak term.”
“Fiancé would”ve been a much, much better. I should”ve proposed,” he teases.
I narrow my eyes. “I think everything is moving fast enough, thank you. We”re already moving in together after being back together for just weeks. We don”t need to jump straight into marriage before we”ve even been back together for six months.”
He leans forward with his forearm on the table. “Is that how long I should wait? You know hypothetically speaking. Would six months be an adequate amount of time?”
“I don”t think that there is a magic number. Some people can know each other their whole lives and not be ready because they don”t fit. Other people can know each other for days and immediately know they are going to spend the rest of their lives together,” I say.
He grabs my chair, and it squeaks across the hardwood floor as he drags it closer to his. “Then what are we doing, Tess? Because I have known since the night of your birthday when I showed up at your house that I never wanted to leave. And I fucked up and spent enough time away from you, so what are we waiting for?”
I look down at my hands and study the lines and grooves of my palms. Anything to keep from seeing the imploring look on his face. I take a deep breath, and muster up the courage to tell him honestly, “I”m waiting until I can trust again.”
His hands take mine, and he squeezes gently. “Vixen, look at me.”
I lift my head and look him in the eyes. Those hypnotic hazel eyes, with swirls of gold and green always pull me in, and I”m lost in him. That”s part of the problem, being able to be with him and not just be lost in him. This time I want to be myself with him, not someone who is willing to mold themselves into anything to stay in his orbit.
“I know I”ve done a lot to break your trust,” he continues speaking, “but I thought we were in a better place. Isn”t that why we”re moving in together?”
“I don”t mean I don”t trust you. I don”t trust us. You and I have always broken down and hurt each other. I want to know that we are going to be able to do it better this time. Not just you, but me not falling into bad habits too,” I admit.
He nods a couple of times as he”s letting what I said sink in. “Okay, I can understand that. And I do still believe I have a lot to make up to you. I think that”s what you need to believe in us again. Looking back, you were never the problem. I realize that now.”
“That”s not true,” I argue. “I let myself be intimidated. Other people and their agendas got in between us, because I didn”t have enough fight in me to stand up for us. Also, I didn”t come and talk to you first.”
He rubs his thumb on the top of my hands. “Maybe not the first time, but you have tried to talk to me, and I”ve shut you down. Don”t beat yourself up like you messed everything up because your father threatened to have me thrown in jail. You gave up a lot to protect me and I threw it in your face. And now when I look back at it, you really didn”t have a choice. Not until things had gotten squared away. There are so many things that could have been different. If Shane had spoken up and told me what was going on, or if my mother had said something about where you went.”
“Do you think that it”s possible that we were too young before? I like to believe in fate or destiny. Before I didn”t believe in soulmates, but you”re my person. The only way I can rationalize everything we”ve been through is thinking that wasn”t our time. We got together too soon, and this is when we were supposed to be together. Is that too cheesy?” I ask.
He doesn”t answer me. Instead, he tugs me and kisses me slowly. He tastes like vanilla, coffee, and home.
“What do you want to do for the rest of the day,” he says after we finally come up for air.
“More of this would be nice,” I say and kiss him again.
Ford smiles against my lips. “I’m always up to spending the day wrapped up in you.”
I make a face. “Don’t you mean with me?”
That naughty smirk I love makes an appearance right before he hoists me off my chair and onto his lap. “I said what I meant.”
Laughing, I swat him on the shoulder. “My mom is still in the house,” I whisper yell.
He groans and buries his head in the crook of my neck. “Right. Well, that’s like a bucket of cold water. It’s been a while since we’ve ever had to worry about parents being around.”
I raise my eyebrows and give him a look. “When did either of us have to worry about that?”
His fingers press harder against my skin, and his muscles stiffen underneath me. I know before he opens his mouth that the mood has shifted and he’s going to ask me something I probably don’t want to answer.
“At some point, I am going to want to talk about what happened the night we had dinner with my mom. No more running away, right?”
My tongue swipes across my bottom lip as I try and get my thoughts in order. “You’re right, I’m running, and it is because of what happened at dinner. I couldn’t deal with it, so I did what I do best, pulled up stakes and ran. But, this time I brought you along with me. I told you I wouldn’t run from you anymore, and I won’t.”
“So you asked me to run with you,” he states.
I nod, because that is exactly what I did.
“You know we have to stop running eventually,” he tells me gently.
“I know,” I whisper.
“Until then—” He kisses me. “I’ll keep pace with you.”