Chapter 32
Athletic Director Mitch Danielslooks very nervous having the boosters standing behind him. Especially, the one who gave me his card, Nelson Jones. I looked him up after the event, he”s a pretty reputable sports agent and widely known for his honesty and integrity. Something I am finding in short supply among the administrators of Cascade University.
I decide to take a chance and goad Greer into spilling what he’s been up to. The fact is, as slimy as he’s acting right now, at his core I know this is not who he is. I don”t think I will ever truly forgive him, but part of me does still feel like I owe him, but I won’t repay him by losing Tessa.
I am very curious to find out why he thinks he has photos and videos of me and what exactly they’re of. “So these photos that you claim to have, what”s on them exactly?”
He scoffs. “You think I don”t know about the party you guys threw on your hotel floor last night? I understand what it”s like to be in college. When you”re an athlete, you need to blow off some steam, there”s lots of girls around, but you keep saying that you”ve got a girlfriend. You can”t have it both ways. Either you”re going to insist that you are with Tessa and ride the bench, or you can part ways and you can play like you did today. If you refuse to make the right decision on your own, I can help Tessa make it for you. If you really care about her, I think you”d want to spare her that.”
I turn my head to the side and give him a challenging look. “See here”s the thing, I”m going to have to call your bluff, because I don”t think you have anything. At least not anything on me.”
He shakes his head like he”s disappointed. I have to hand it to him, he’s either a really good actor, or he really believes he”s got me over a barrel. “I really wish you wouldn”t make me do this, son.”
“First of all, I”m not your son. And second, I”m not making you do shit,” I taunt him.
Nelson takes a step forward, and I can see a bead of sweat rolling down the side of Mitch Daniel”s face. Mitch turns and tries to distract the booster. “Gentlemen, how about we go ahead and go out to dinner. Coach Greer can catch up to us.”
Nelson, however, will not be dissuaded. “Now wait a minute, I want to know what”s going on here. What did Coach Greer mean when he said that if Ford continued to see Tessa, he could ride the bench? Is that why our team has the lowest record in our division right now? I was under the understanding that Ford was getting rehabilitation for an old injury he re-injured in practice. Is that not correct?”
I hold my arms out to either side, knowing my muscles are bulging and straining against my uniform. I certainly don”t appear to be someone coming off of a recent injury. “Do I look like I’m hurting? I”ve been sitting on the bench, but it has nothing to do with my physical state. Coach Greer told me that our dear old AD here threatened his job if I didn”t break up with my girlfriend. Apparently, more women would come to the games if I were single.”
Nelson turns on Mitch. “Is that true?”
The one trickle of sweat has now become a steady stream. Mitch”s hair is wet and sticking to his face. “Studies have been shown that unattached celebrities have higher ticket sales.”
Nelson tosses his arm out in my direction. “He”s a college student. He agreed to play football for us, not allow us to take over his entire life. You are not permitted to dictate the social life of our players.”
“Mr. Jones, there”s a lot you don”t understand. There”s a whole morality issue here. Of course, Mitch is concerned with sales. The football program funds a lot of other programs at Cascade University, but it isn”t simply a matter of a player appearing to be single. Ford and Tessa are siblings.”
Poor Nelson looks like his head is a pinball being bounced around inside of a game. His attention jerks to me, and I can see a bit of the judgment that Tessa is so worried about. “Is that true? You”re not— surely you can”t be related, right?”
“Tessa and I have been together off and on since high school. We got together our senior year, at the beginning of the year. Several months later, her dad married my mom. Now if they were together before we don”t know.” I may have stretched the truth a bit. He doesn’t need to know that our parents dating is what brought us together in the first place.
I continue arguing our side. “Neither of us have the most attentive parents. We weren’t raised together, and we had both turned eighteen by the time we found out that our parents had gotten married. So technically, yes, she is my stepsister, but the only time we have lived together, was after we got engaged.”
Tessa pinches my back. She”s right, technically we only got engaged last night, but I don”t see how that bit of information helps us right now. And really, she knew all along I was going to ask, and I knew she was going to say yes, so it really was just a technicality. More or less. I should probably ask her again, preferably when we aren’t fucking.
Nelson bobs his head over and over again while he considers what I just told him. “So there”s no blood relation at all?”
I shake my head no.
“And neither of you grew up together?” he clarifies.
“We went to school together since elementary, but we didn”t really know each other very well until high school. Even then, we didn”t get close until our senior year.”
“I feel like there is something missing here. There has to be another motivation that is making the two of you do something so mind-numbingly stupid because otherwise, you have broken several university rules, not to mention the NCAA rules you”ve both flagrantly violated in interfering with the private life of a player. Please give me an explanation that makes even a modicum of sense. I would really like some peace of mind that I have not been donating my money to a program that abuses the athletes we are supposed to take care of,” Nelson argues.
Sin pulls out his phone and messes with it for a few seconds before Nelson’s phone dings with an incoming message. He looks down at his phone confused. “Why is there a video playing on my phone?”
“Turn up the sound,” Sin demands.
Nelson is curious enough not to argue or ask how Sin managed to send him a message in the first place. He follows Sin’s direction, and turns up the sound on his phone. Thanks to the echo in the tunnel the sound of Wendell James’ voice is easily heard by all of us standing nearby.
“I ran you out of Ocean Bluff for standing up for Ford, do you want me to make you lose another coaching job? That AD you work for really loves money. What do you think he’d do if I threw enough money his way for a new scoreboard? Maybe he’d just like some money dropped directly into his account? For enough zeroes, think he’d let me influence employment decisions?” Wendell taunts.
“What did that boy do to you? I’ve been doing what you said. He’s been sitting on the bench, and I hate myself for what I’m doing to him. You are the one who put me in the position of having to choose between my son and Ford. Of course, I was going to choose my son. I can’t lose my insurance, or he won’t be able to get the insulin he needs to live.
“Ford is your stepson, and you keep pushing me to destroy that kid. Someone I’ve watched grow since he was fourteen years old. An athlete I’ve helped mold. I should be celebrating with him right now, helping him go pro, but you’ve pitted me against him. You better have a damn good reason,” Greer says on the video.
“I do. He disobeyed me by continuing to date my daughter. I will not let the two of them ruin my reputation in the business community by giving people something to talk about. My daughter dating my stepson is too big of a scandal, and I will not allow it. I also will not tolerate him taking what doesn’t belong to him. Make it go away, or I’ll make you go away,” Wendell threatens.
“You’re a real son of a bitch,” Greer mutters.
“If I don’t care about what my own daughter wants, do you think I give a shit about your feelings?” Wendell scoffs.
“Turn it off,” Mitch shouts.
“You don’t give orders anymore,” Nelson snaps, but touches the screen to stop the video. “However, I’ve seen enough. The president of the university is a close personal friend of mine. Mitch, you might want to start getting your affairs in order before you’re fired. A resignation looks much better when looking for work, don’t you think?”
Mitch doesn’t try to argue his side. He proves to be the self-serving coward I believe him to be as he shoves his way through the crowd. All the attention turns back to Coach Greer. All the malice I’ve seen is gone from his face. Finally, I see a bit of the man I respected all through high school.
“I’m very sorry for how I acted. No matter what my reasons were, I understand if you can’t forgive me,” Greer says to me.
There’s a part of me that wants to let him off the hook. I look at Tessa, and I understand completely the motivation to protect the people you love, but he fucked with the person I love the most. I can understand, but he’s right, I can’t forgive him. “I wish you the best, but I can’t play for you. I don’t trust you, but I’m not heartless. If the university will let me, I’ll transfer to another school. Assuming I can find one that needs a QB this late in the season. And for the record, whatever you think you have on video or photo, I didn’t even stay at the hotel last night. Kendall and I passed off our key cards to the other guys.”
Nelson shakes his head. “You don’t sacrifice your future because those who were supposed to help guide you fucked up.” His attention shifts to Greer. “I sympathize with the hard spot you were put in, but by not bringing it to the attention of anyone in the administration you really gave us no choice. It’s not my decision, but I believe if someone’s going to move to another university, it should be you. That way you’d still be able to take care of your son, but Ford won’t have to make sacrifices for you.”
“That’s extremely kind. Thank you,” Greer says, subdued.
“Don’t thank me yet. I can’t promise the president will see things as mercifully as I do,” Nelson warns him.
Shane grabs my elbow. “We’ve got an audience. Let’s get out of here and regroup.”
“Ford, we need to get to the airport and get on the plane,” one of the assistant coaches says.
I glare at them. They might not have known what was going on, but none of them stood up and stopped Greer from sidelining me for no fucking reason. “I’ll see my own way back to Seattle.”
“I’d like to help you with that, and hopefully we could discuss some ways I can look out for your interests. I won’t let anything like this happen to you again,” Nelson offers.
“Tess and I will meet you at the airport tomorrow night,” I agree, and let Shane pull me out of the stadium.
Tessa is too quiet as we climb into Sin’s SUV. I take hold of her hands. “Tess, your hands are freezing,” I comment, and try to warm them between mine.
She starts shaking and muttering something under her breath.
“Sin, get us out of here,” I demand.
“There’s no use,” Tessa mumbles louder. “It’ll never be enough. He took my mother, my sanity, and the rest of my childhood.”
Pieces of the puzzle that is Tessa click into place. I always thought it was strange for a rich girl to be living all alone in that giant house. She had every material thing a teenager could possibly want, and yet she seemed to be disgusted by all of it. The ways she pulled into herself when no one else was around.
I’m afraid I already know what truth she’s going to tell, and hearing it is going to be extremely hard, but not even a fraction of what I’m imagining she’s lived through.
“Tessa,” I have to take a deep breath, “what did he do?”
Slowly she lifts her face and looks me straight in the eyes. “A few times, after my mom left, I woke up to find him watching me sleep. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but it was the way he touched himself that made me uncomfortable. I was confused and asked him if he needed to pee, because he looked like he drank a big soda and was trying to hold it. I told him he could use my bathroom, and he ran out of my room. You didn’t know me in middle school, but I was extremely sheltered. Now I know why.”
She starts to shake, but I don’t want to even breathe wrong and make her stop talking.
“After that, he avoided me for weeks. The cycle would repeat over and over. I even had our housekeeper get him a nightlight because I told her he kept getting lost on his way to the bathroom and coming into my room. I didn’t understand the look she gave me, but I’m so glad I made that one innocent request.
“I guess he got desensitized to the shame of me catching him in my room. He got bolder, and decided to push it further, and—” Her breath shudders as she tries to calm herself. “He pulled back my blankets and started trying to touch me. It was only my leg, and then my thigh, but I wasn’t as naive as I had been when he’d first started coming in my room. I’d matured very quickly in the year and a half this had been going on, enough to know that what he was doing wasn’t normal or okay. I also wasn’t as small as I was when he started, and I fought. I had the element of surprise on my side, but I knew my luck would run out, so I locked myself in my bathroom. I called my housekeeper, because she was the only adult figure I trusted at that point in my life. I didn’t even have to tell her what was going on, she had suspected after I asked her for the nightlight. She threatened him so he’d leave me alone, and after that, I lived in the house by myself. To this day she’s one of the only people I know of who has managed to go toe to toe with Wendell James and come out whole.”
“Then I showed up, and he thought I was taking something that belonged to him,” I think aloud.
She shrugs. “It’s possible. I don’t think he’s ever seen me as a person, but as a possession.”
Sin looks up into the rearview mirror long enough to catch her attention. “Was there ever a time when he paid less attention to you?”
She thinks for a minute. “About six months after he first left me alone in the house I stopped hearing from him. Before that he’d drop by, try and have dinner with me, stuff like that. Then I didn’t hear anything from him for about a year.”
“Do you know what changed?” Sin asks.
Tessa drops her head. “I heard he started dating a woman.”
Raven turns around. “Let me guess, she had a daughter about the same age as you?”
Tessa nods, and I can tell this is something she’s internalized and blamed herself for.
Cautiously, I reach out and brush my fingers along her cheek. “That is not your fault.”
“If I’d said something back when it happened—” She closes her eyes and tries to slow her breathing before she hyperventilates. “All of this is my fault. He almost sent Ford to jail years ago, and tried to split us up again. No matter where I go, he’s never going to give me any peace, is he?”
Tears cling to her lashes, and I look up to see Sin watching in the mirror again.
I know what he’s offering through that look. He fought Damien to protect Raven, and to escape a life of being an assassin, but because of his upbringing, he’ll always have the capacity for violence. Not only that, but his moral compass doesn’t work the same as most people’s. However, I no longer consider myself most people.