Chapter 61
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
I help Gage with his work, and neither of us mentions the almost-kiss in the kitchen.
There’s an odd tension between us that I’ve determined to ignore.
This is my job. I’ve saved up a nice amount of cash, stashing it in different places so Gage can’t steal it from me as easily.
It’s going to set me up nicely. The thought is both comforting and unsettling.
I’m going to have to start over. Like, completely over. I won’t know anyone, and that thought freaks me out.
Buddy adjusts her head where she has it on my lap. Whenever we work, she’s here, touching or drooling on me in some way. My chest tightens. I’ll have to leave Buddy.
“Does it… smell in here to you?” Gage wrinkles his nose, looking around.
“Oh, uh… no?” It definitely does. There’s a hint of spoiled milk.
“I changed the trash,” Gage mutters.
I wait for the satisfaction that I expected, but it feels a little hollow. Gage has been nice to me, and I feel guilty that I fucked with his things. Axel’s? Sure. Not Gage’s.
Then, Gage shrugs, and I see his shoulders tense. He starts to wipe his hands on his pants—grey sweatpants that I’ve been trying so fucking hard to keep my eyes off—and clears his throat.
“Uh, I was wondering if… Do you want to go to the bookstore later?”
I blink.
“It’s okay if not,” Gage says quickly. “I just wanted to get something. You don’t have to.” He grabs the pile of papers in front of him and then picks them up to straighten them.
Why the fuck is he nervous? It’s odd to see such a big, grumpy man look so uncomfortable. It’s almost… cute. And now I definitely feel guilty about his living room.
I immediately stifle that thought and say, “Sure, whatever you want.” I’m getting paid to help him, so I may as well get paid to go to the bookstore. Plus, I wouldn’t mind getting out of the house for a bit. The smell is kinda giving me a headache.
“Cool.” For a second, Gage’s face lights up. “I’ll get changed.”
I stare at him as he walks away like his ass is on fire. Why the hell is he acting so weird? This is just an errand, right?
What if it’s not just an errand?
My stupid, dumbass heart kicks up a beat. He asked if I wanted to go. Like it was optional. Like… he asked me to hang out with him.
Now, my heart is flying.
No. It’s not optional. I’m here to help him.
I get up to get ready and find myself in front of the mirror, studying how I look. I haven’t put makeup on in a long time, and my hair is slightly tangled. I get it brushed out and debate throwing some makeup on.
Wait, why am I even thinking about that? I didn’t even consider mascara with the Halloween costume. Plus, it’s not like he can really see it anyway.
It’s just because he made a show about getting dressed. Fuck, I should have asked him what he was going to wear. Should I now? It’s just a bookstore, right?
I go back and forth for a second, then throw some quick makeup on and step out into the hallway. I find Gage in the kitchen, and he is in a light blue suit.
I stop in my tracks. The clothes fit his muscled form perfectly and bring out the lightness of his eyelashes and hair, giving them a frosted look.
Fuck. He looks stunning. And I’m underdressed.
Gage must hear me ‘cause he turns. “Ready?” The question is gruff.
“I uh… I need to change.”
“I’m sure it’s fine.”
I glance down at my pleated skirt and pantyhose. It’s nothing fancy, just the same stuff I’ve been wearing. “I didn’t realize it was fancy.” My face burns.
“You’re fine.” Gage motions at me.
“I’ll just go–”
“Raven,” his voice softens. “If you’re wearing what you usually wear, then you look amazing.”
My face burns. Was that… Did he just…?
Then Gage turns on his heel and heads toward the door. I scurry after, trying not to look at the way his ass fills out his dress pants.
By the time we get to the car, Gage opens the driver’s door for me.
I hesitate, looking at his slightly tense body language.
Whatever. I’ll be fine, right? I’m driving. It’s not like I’m driving us to murder central. If I don’t like it, I can just turn around.
Unless he has a weapon.
I’ll wreck us both into a tree if he does.
“You okay?” Gage asks softly.
“Uh, yeah.” I silently slide into the car. He shuts the door softly behind me and then goes around to the other side.
My hands are sweating.
Gage gives me directions on the way to the bookstore. It’s awkward. I’m expecting some knife to come out and for him to gut me. Dead bitches can’t be snitches.
But then why did he get dressed up? Plus, he hasn’t looked at me once on the trip. He grips his thigh again like his life depends on it, and I wonder if he’ll bruise.
I should have brought my bat.
“Cold today,” Gage says, breaking me out of my spiral.
“Yeah,” I say. The sky is the kind of pale blue only winter can bring. It’s not unlike the color of Gage’s eyes.
When we get to the store, it looks like a normal store. No murder vibes. Plus, it’s in the middle of town, and there are people around. I suck in a breath.
The parking is on the street. Gage heaves out of the car like he’s on fire. He moves around the front, tracing a hand along the hood to my side.
I open the door before he can get there.
“I got it,” Gage says.
I stand up beside him, having to brush past his form to get out of the car. “It’s fine.”
Gage grabs my arm gently, pulling me back and away from the street. “Careful.”
I huff, pulling my arm away. “I’m fine. Isn’t that my job?”
Then Gage almost walks into a decorative planter, and I grab his arm, pulling him to the side just in time.
“Careful,” I say.
Gage huffs. “Now you’re just fucking with me.”
“If you want to faceplant in the planter, be my guest.”
Gage snorts. There’s a second where I’m not sure if he’s gonna get pissed. Then, he shakes his head, muttering something under his breath that sounds a lot like “humped pillows already, can’t get any worse.”
Then he holds his arm out to me. “Walk me inside?”
I pause. The arm is definitely so he doesn’t run into anything else. But when I take it, Gage softly places his hand over mine and leads me to the store.
My heart races again. What the hell is going on here? If I didn’t know better, this would feel like a… date.
My heart races so hard I think it’s gonna beat out of my chest.
Oh, god no. I’d rather get murdered. At least with murder, things are pretty cut and dry. Romance? Relationships? That’s turned out like shit for me before.
I turn to look back at the car, trying to plot my escape. While I do, Gage gently guides me into the store, and the smell of books surrounds us.
No, don’t panic, Raven. Don’t panic. I suck in deep breaths of the store, the smell of musty pages calming me slightly. There are books on floor-to-ceiling shelves everywhere.
“Hey there.” The older man behind the register doesn’t even look up.
“Hey,” Gage greets, his voice deep and even friendly sounding.
It looks like we’re in the pop culture section, with history further down, and then the path veers to the right. Then, Gage just stops. He glances down at me, and I do everything I can to avoid his gaze. Why is he looking at me? Can he see how hot my face is?
“Do you see the action section?”
I blink. Right. Action. We’re in a bookstore. He just came for a book.
Relief fills me, tinged with another emotion that I can’t quite pin down. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was disappointment.
Which would be crazy.
I take a second to look and see if there are any signs hanging from the ceiling, but the store looks like a maze of bookshelves with no clear map. Despite my earlier anxiety, even being around so many books makes me feel like things are going to be okay. It’s quiet and peaceful.
“Are you looking for a specific book?” I ask as I peer down the rows of books, spotting a sign for action.
“Uh, no. Just whatever.”
Wait, he came here with no plan? But I don’t ask him. Because it’s none of my business. My job is just to get him where he needs to be and to get out.
We browse the action section for a bit, but it feels weird without Gage knowing what he wants.
“What do you read?” I ask.
“Superheroes. Used to read about knights when I was younger.” Gage runs his fingers along the spines.
That explains the costume.
“Wanted to be a knight so damn bad.” Gage laughs softly. “Then, a firefighter. Then, a superhero. Pretty much anything cool. Oh!” He pauses on a book, pulling it out. “I love it when the covers are like this.”
The book is wrapped in a cellophane dust jacket and crinkles softly when he opens it. He puts it to his nose and smells. He lets out a little groan that makes a tingle run down my skin. “Smells so good.”
I eye the book. I love the way old books smell.
“What did you want to be?” Gage asks, handing the book to me.
I look at him.
“When you grew up? What did you want to be?”
I shrug, taking the book and giving it a quick sniff. It smells amazing. Then I turn back to the books, staring at them so I don’t have to look at Gage.
I wanted to be a princess when I was really young. Then, a badass superhero. Then, a librarian. I just say, “Oh, you know. The normal girl stuff.”
Gage grabs another book, opening and closing it to get the crinkle. “What’s normal girl stuff?”
Oh god. He’s going to make me say it, isn’t he?
“Princesses and shit.” My face burns. “It’s stupid.” Princesses are a fairytale, and an even bigger fairytale is the princes who save them. It’s just not how the world works, as much as my fucking childhood self wanted it to.
“Not more stupid than wanting to ride a rhinorse into battle.”
I glance at Gage. “A what?”
Gage looks my way, an eyebrow raised. “Princesses don’t have rhinorses?”
I’m about to cross my arms when Gage waves a hand in the air, “Half-rhino, half-horse. It’s kinda a staple for badasses. At least, it was in my mind.” Gage sighs dramatically. “Imagine my distress when I found out they weren’t real.”
I snort, then look at him when he’s facing the books again. He looks hot, combing along the spines gently. This is such a different side to him than the grumpy asshole who hired me.
I turn back to the books, breathing in a deep breath, and realize that, at this moment, I’m comfortable. For a minute, the fear and panic that follow me everywhere just… disappears. I look for it, but I feel nothing but peace among the pages and the man beside me.
It’s then that I see something on the shelf that makes me suck in a breath.