Chapter 60
CHAPTER SIXTY
I don’t let Axel get far. I have absolutely no idea what to say or what to do in this situation. This is different from my job, where I can spout a law or argue a point. Axel would just fight me, and we’d be nowhere closer to where we need to be.
Where do we need to be? What the hell am I supposed to say? But I’ll be damned if I do nothing. I’ll be fucking damned.
I stalk after Axel, following him to his bedroom.
“What the fuck do you want?” Axel whirls on me, throwing his hands in the air. He’s angry, but behind all that anger, I hear the fear in his voice. The way it strains and is pitched higher than normal. He sounds lost.
“Here,” I say gruffly, holding out the glasses. I both don’t want to see for this conversation, and want him to feel less panicked.
Axel snatches them from me, breathing heavily.
I’m scared to say the wrong thing, so I open and close my mouth a few times. Nothing is right. Because the whole situation is wrong, and he doesn’t want pity.
So, I cross my arms. “So, the bat?”
There’s a moment of silence. Then, Axel lets out a hissed breath.
I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not, but I keep going. I remember seeing Rich on the floor, and now that I think about it, I realize that Raven did have the bat in her hands.
“It wasn’t just a prop,” I say, but it’s not a question.
“Was it ever?”
I picture Rich, the person I most want to kill, curled up on the floor after my tiny woman gave him what he deserved. And that image makes me let out a small burst of air.
“Fucking hell.” I run a hand through my hair.
We settle into silence for a minute until Axel says, “You like her.”
Instantly, I bristle. Why the hell does he care? But as soon as that reaction rushes through me, I stamp it down. So I like her. So what?
“I do.” As I say it, my cheeks flame. And instantly, I feel bad. Because I remember Axel likes her, too.
“Damn.” Axel chuckles, but his voice is tight. “When’s the wedding?”
“You’re an idiot.”
Axel starts making kissing noises, but behind the teasing, there's a note of frantic energy.
“It’s okay. Pretty sure she’s mad at me, so…” I motion uselessly. “Not going anywhere.”
“Again? Damn, what’d you do?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Did you try to take her bat?”
I don’t answer.
“Whatever.” I hear Axel move, and it scares me. I don’t want him to stop talking to me. I want it to be like when we were kids again. Back when he was scheming to sell poems in school for pieces of gum.
“I… She just stopped talking to me.”
“Did you tell her she should date me since I have a bigger dick?” Axel’s voice is deadpan.
“What? No!” I sputter. “We’re twins; it’s the same–” I cut myself off. “No, everything was going fine, and I thought we were going to kiss, and then she pulled away, and I… let her.”
The room gets silent. It is awkward talking to my brother like this. We haven’t done this in… years. But it also feels familiar. Like coming home after a long, long fucking time. So, instead of running, I keep talking.
“I did nothing, Ax.” I swallow harshly. “I let her get away.”
Axel is silent for so long that I think he’s going to make fun of me.
Then I feel his hand clap my shoulder. “Okay, so you didn’t pressure her into a kiss. Congrats, you’re not a fucking dickwad.”
I snort.
“I’m being serious. You’re not a Max. Congrats.”
I stiffen. “Max?”
Axel lets out a breath.
“She hasn’t told me about Max,” I say.
“Me either.” Axel’s voice falls back into that emotionless tone. “But she doesn’t have to. You see how she gets. He either beat her ass or…” he trails off. We both know what he’s talking about. I desperately hope he does say it. Like saying it will make it a reality.
Not that it would make me view her any differently. But because it’s making me murderous. Both options. And I don’t recognize this feeling in me.
But maybe I do. It’s the feeling I’ve been having since the party.
“He’ll never touch her again,” Axel says, voice low. “And we’re not gonna ask her about it.”
I swallow. I want to ask her about it. I want to know every detail so I know how to protect her.
“We’re not gonna ask,” Axel says again, this time harsher.
I just nod.
“Good.” His tone softens. “Good. We won’t make her relive it unless she’s ready.”
I get it. I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.
Axel claps my shoulder. “You good?”
I choke, feeling stupid. Axel’s the one going through it, and I’m over here drowning. It’s then that I register the liquid slosh, and I realize he’s still holding the lemon juice.
To ease the tension, I ask, “You gonna drink that, or?”
“Fuck you,” Axel says, but this time, it has no bite to it. “I am kinda hungry, though. Fetch me some food, why don’t you.”
“Get your own food, you lazy fuck,” I say, but there’s no bite to my words. I start moving to the doorway.
“Oh, and Gage?”
I stop.
Axel's voice drops. “It wasn’t your fault.” And then, with a shuffle of socked feet, he’s gone.