34. Ky
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ky
Dinner had already been served, and most couples were out on the dance floor, including Maddie’s dad and stepmom. Her brother, Banks, had even taken Avalyn’s hand and twirled her around a few times before she’d run off to play with some of her cousins.
All I could do was sit there, watching Hayat as she sat at the head table, laughing and talking. Flirting with Jamie and Sparks. Touching them because she had the right to. Because she was theirs, and they were hers.
And I was sitting across the room, what felt like a million miles away from the girl I loved, unable to find my voice or the will to get to my feet. Walk over there, tell her I loved her and how sorry I was for being a dick.
Eyes still on her, I saw her stand, take the hand Jamie offered to her, and then boop Sparks on the nose, as if promising him he was next. Grasping her hand, Sparks lifted it to his lips and kissed her palm, saying something that made her throw her head back and laugh. Everyone around her turned at the musical sound.
Beside me, Maddie sighed. Resting her elbows on the table, she propped her face in them. “This was a mistake,” she said after a few moments passed of both of us watching her dance with Jamie. “I can’t believe how big of a bitch I was to Hayat this week. She and Abi were the first friends I made when we moved here from Texas. She welcomed me into her family without hesitation. Before, during, and after everything with Holden, she was the one friend I could count on to always have my back.”
Looking at me, she gave me a grim smile. “Do you know she broke some guy’s nose for calling me a whore? He was one of Holden’s friends and, at the time, a good six inches taller. Not to mention about sixty pounds heavier. And she just drew back and walloped him in the face. Took three surgeries to fix it to something that resembled the original version of his nose, but no one ever called me a whore again. At least not where she could hear them.”
“She’s fierce,” I agreed. “Loves hard. Fights hard. But when she’s done, she doesn’t do anything. Just walks away and shows you how big of a fuckup you are.”
“Yeah,” Maddie nodded. “You’re in love with her?”
“She owns my soul.”
“Then you’re even stupider than I am,” she muttered with a shake of her blond head. “My excuse was I wanted to shove your success in Holden’s and Hadley’s faces. And then tonight, I wanted to make this guy jealous. That’s why I asked you to come with me.”
“You said you wanted to go as friends so we could apologize to Hayat together,” I reminded her.
“Which is true. But not the whole truth.” She turned so she was glowering at me. “I had nefarious reasons, but none of them were meant to hurt Hayat. Although, if I’d thought it through a little more, I would have realized how I went about my revenge would hurt someone important to me. What’s your excuse?”
“I inherited the Renchford dumb-fuck gene?” I offered, making her grin.
“Obviously. But you’re also smarter than that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have Autumn’s Slumber, and you definitely wouldn’t have had a piece of Hayat’s heart.” She shoved at my arm. “Stop being a dumbass, Ky. Go cut in and talk it out with her.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration. “Where would I even start?”
“How about with, ‘Hey, sorry I was the world’s dumbest boyfriend, but I realized my mistakes and I was hoping you would find it in your beautiful, generous heart to give me another chance.”
My brows rose skeptically. “And you think she’s just going to forgive me? Take me back and love me?”
Maddie shrugged. “You won’t know unless you ask. Come on, Ky. You’re already admitted to having the Renchford dumb-fuck gene. Don’t tell me you inherited the pussy gene too.”
Realizing she was right, I wouldn’t know unless I tried, I stood and weaved through the other guests to the dance floor. Jamie was showing off, twirling Hayat every other step, making her giggle so sweetly that it was hard not to smile as I watched them. When I was a few feet away from them, Jamie saw my approach, and after a lengthy staredown that promised me a long, painful death if I hurt our girl again, he twirled her one more time.
Right into my arms.
With a squeal, she landed against me, still laughing.
Until she lifted her gaze and met mine. All the light faded from those aquamarine eyes, her body stiffening. She was no longer dancing to the music but standing like a statue against me.
“Hi,” I murmured, carefully placing my hand at her waist and urging her to sway to the music with me. After a long moment, she finally gave in.
“Hey,” she grumbled, looking at something over my shoulder.
“I know you’re mad at me, and I understand that. All I’ve done is fuck up with you.”
Her lashes fluttered, but she didn’t look at me. “At least you can admit it,” she groused after a few beats passed.
“I can make up a hundred different excuses, but the truth is, I’m scared, Hayat. Love wasn’t something I ever saw up close and personal, but falling for you was so damn easy. And that terrified me. What if something happened to you? You could get sick, like my mom. Or you could have gotten hurt or worse when you went to that warehouse. So, yeah, I was scared.”
Top teeth sinking into her bottom lip, she finally gave me her eyes. “You let Maddie kiss you.”
“I did,” I admitted and felt her flinch. Seeing the pain cross her face, the way her body gave a ghostlike jerk, was the equivalent of being kicked in the gut. It didn’t feel good. I didn’t like it, and I would do anything to keep it from happening again. “But that was because that is how she always greets me. Neither of us has ever really thought anything about it, because we don’t have anything but friendship. Still, I realize that must have hurt you, and I promise you it won’t happen again.”
“You think I will ruin Autumn’s Slumber,” she whispered, back to looking over my shoulder.
“No, baby, no!” I released her waist and cupped her face, needing her eyes on me.
“You hesitated, didn’t even deny that I would cause trouble. Sparks and Jamie didn’t even blink. But your opinion, that was the one that mattered the most, because Autumn’s Slumber is dedicated to your mom.” Her bottom lip wobbled. “I don’t want to mess that up for you, Ky.”
“I wasn’t worried about you messing up the band. If anything, I think you’re the best thing to ever happen to it. Us. Me.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Then why hesitate when Maddie said what she did?”
“Because I was struggling to find the right words that would make you understand that no matter what any outsider says, there is only one Hayat. And she is mine. She belongs to Autumn’s Slumber. To Ky, Jamie, and Sparks Carver.”
A tear spilled down her cheek, and she looked down at my shirt, hiding the diamond-colored liquid filling those pretty eyes. “You went no-contact for the rest of the week.”
“Because I didn’t know what to say to fix what I’d broken. Jamie and Sparks were giving me shit, but all of this comes easy for them. Loving you is as easy as breathing to them. But me? I’m second-guessing everything I say or do in fear of pushing you further away.”
Hayat huffed exaggeratedly, stabbing her index finger into my chest. “You know what you should do not to push me away, Ky? Don’t agree to be a date for someone else to a wedding you know I’m going to be at.”
“I didn’t know you would ask us to go with you. She called, and I thought it was my only way to see you again. To talk this out and beg you to forgive me.”
“And instead of calling and canceling on her in order to be my date, you still came with her when we could have had this entire conversation last night and I could have been dancing with you and Sparks and Jamie right now.” She tossed her hair, causing a few ringlets to smack me in the face. “You’re such a fucking coward, Ky.”
“I know.”
“This wasn’t how I expected to fall in love,” she admitted. “Fuck, I don’t even know what I pictured, but it wasn’t this. Falling for one guy is scary enough, but here I am, in love with three of them. And one of them—that’s you, by the way, just in case your small brain can’t keep up—doesn’t have the balls to admit when he’s wrong and fix what he breaks when he breaks it. Did you expect me to come crawling back to you?”
I grimaced. “I didn’t expect anything. Because I told you, I have no experience with how love goes. I have no expectations and don’t know any rules. Yes, I’m an idiot when it comes to love and relationships. The closest I’ve ever been was when I was fifteen and had sex for the first time. I confused lust for love and got carried away. She told me I was a jerk and smacked me, then ghosted me.”
“Good for her,” she muttered, but I heard a new tone in her voice. It had a grumpy, jealous edge to it. “You listen to me, Ky Carver. And you listen good. My heart hurts because of you. In a way it never has before. And that’s on you. If I were smart, I’d tell you to fuck off and never talk to me again. But apparently, I’m just as stupid as you are. Because I’m going to give you one more chance.”
Relief made my knees weak, but I locked them in place, hoping it kept me from falling on my face at her feet.
“But I swear to all those gods my aunt Emmie prays to, if you hurt me, even one more time, I will destroy you.”
Air rushed out of me, and I crushed her to me, kissing her hair, her cheek, her forehead. “Thank you, baby. Fuck, thank you so much.”
“I’m not kidding, Ky. If you hurt me, I will shove my drumsticks so far up your ass, they will be able to pull them out of your mouth.” She pushed at my chest, but it was a weak move. Lowering my head, I brushed my lips over hers, kissing her sweet and soft.
Movement behind her had me shifting my gaze to find Jamie and Sparks standing there, arms crossed over their chests, but smirking at me. I eased my hold on Hayat enough for them to join us, each of them taking a side as we slow-danced to the song for several minutes.
Until we heard a rough voice being cleared, and I glanced over Hayat’s shoulder to find Harris Cutter standing there with murder in his aquamarine eyes.